The World is Ending
by crazybear23
Summary: Artemis and Sirius loathe each other, and things seem to be getting worse as the Marauders enter Seventh year at Hogwarts. When Artemis starts to lose it and Sirius steps in to save her, will anything change? Hold on. The world just might be ending.
1. Lighting the Fire

((A/N: This is a Sirius/OC story. Just a warning: this story will contain strong language, mild violence, and mature content. If you'd rather avoid such things, feel free to not read this. Otherwise, enjoy! By the way, the more reviews/reads I get, the more persuaded I'd be to publish more, faster.))

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and all it's lovely awesomeness.

Platform 9 ¾ was, as usual, packed with parents and students. I just happened to be one of them, along with my twin brother, Apollo Gaunt, my father, Marcus Gaunt, and my mother Lucretia. My father, as he had done since I was twelve, didn't even look at me, making it quite obvious that he was only there for Apollo. My mother, however, took the liberty of fawning over both her children. She swelled with pride whether she was hugging and kissing her Gryffindor daughter or her Slytherin son. I looked around through my mother's hair, trying to see if my mother was the only one who was acting absolutely insane just because her children were off for their last year. James Potter's parents were acting the same way, while Sirius Black stood a little ways off, rolling his eyes; Lily Evans was being cheerfully hugged by her muggle parents as her younger sister scowled with a disgusted look. Severus Snape was sitting alone, while Narcissa Black stood flirting happily with Lucius Malfoy, who had already graduated.

Deciding that parents in general were all crazy, I brought my attention back to my own family. Lucretia had finally released me, turned now on Apollo, who wore a disgusted look identical, like everything else, to mine. His black hair hung in his face as he shot a help-me look at his twin, his crystal blue eyes pleading. I just rolled my eyes at him, responding with a too-bad expression as my father finally turned his attention to me, even if it was with a scowl.

"Artemis," he said simply, "keep your grades up and don't disappoint me again." I nodded, but his attention was already gone, returned to my brother, and my mother wasn't getting back to me anytime soon.

So I just shrugged to nobody and dragged my trunk to the train, getting on and searching out a compartment. Most were still empty because there were still a few minutes until the train left. I sighed and collapsed halfheartedly onto the seat, waiting for the train to depart. Thinking angrily about my father's coldness, and about his single sentence, I scowled at the empty seat across from me. If I didn't have to, I wouldn't ever go back there again after school, except maybe to see Apollo, and of course when my mother managed to drag me back. My father had always been that way, ever since I'd left for Hogwarts first year and gotten sorted into Gryffindor. My father, as a Gaunt, was rather insane (because of all the inbreeding that had occurred before himself), and he valued his reputation above all. He wasn't a Death Eater; he didn't care for the risks that came along with it. However, he wholeheartedly supported You-know-who's cause. I didn't agree with this at all, another reason for his harsh attitude.

My four dorm mates interrupted my musings. Lily Evans entered the compartment, followed by Melanie Jordan, most popular of the five Gryffindor girls seventh, possibly even most popular girl in Hogwarts, and whom I personally despised though almost everyone else adored her; Olivia Weathering, poor Olivia, a muggle-born girl who was Lily's best friend and was always picked on by, well, everyone, mostly for her secondhand belongings and her dull sense of fashion; and my best friend, Mira Pollux, a half-blood witch whom my father disapproved of, but did allow me to hang out with away from Hogwarts. The last waved at me enthusiastically; Lily waved too, albeit not so energetically as Mira. Melanie just glared at me, obviously as unhappy to have to share a compartment with me as I was to share one with her. Mira jumped onto the seat next to me, while the other three just sat gracefully on the other seat.

"Hi, Ar, how was your summer?" Mira asked, giving me a big hug. "Guess what?" she added before I could respond, puffing her chest out to show me a shiny prefect badge on her chest. "Lily was made Head Girl, so I'm a prefect now! Isn't that cool?"

I stared in surprise at the badge before slowly nodding, picking up speed to make it look like I was really ecstatic. "That's awesome! Congratulations, Mira. You too, Lily. Head Girl, that's pretty cool."

Mira nodded quickly, a big grin across her face, while Lily also nodded and flushed in pride. Her expression, however, was quickly dominated by a frustrated look.

"You'll never guess who was made Head Boy."

"Um, Remus?" I guessed, wondering how this could possibly be a surprise.

"I said you'll never guess, not pick the most obvious answer; because that's wrong. _James Potter_ is Head Boy."

My mouth dropped open. "What? _James_? But _how _is that even possible? He was never even a prefect!"

"I have no idea! I don't understand how _he _could be Head Boy! I mean, _James Potter_, for god's sake!"

Lily's face was growing to match the color of her red hair; she was obviously very angry about the situation, though all I felt was shock. _James Potter was Head Boy_. The statement was unbelievable; James had been a big troublemaker since, well, forever; him and his three friends, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin. Well, there was a comforting thought.

"At least Black isn't Head Boy." Melanie giggled, and Lily tilted her head, confused at my statement until realization spread across her countenance.

"That's right! You and Black are archenemies, huh? I never understood why, though. I mean, you two are so alike." She wrinkled her nose when I glared at her. "I mean, of course, that your pasts are alike, not your attitudes. In that respect, you're exact opposites." Conversation paused as the train started moving off. "Mira and I need to head off; prefect duties and all." Lily gave Olivia a wave, nodded to me, and headed out, Mira on her heels, leaving me alone with Olivia and Melanie.

Olivia smiled at me kindly. "So how was your summer, Artemis?"

"Fine. My mum's having a big fit though. Something about her babies heading off for their last year at school."

Olivia nodded sympathetically, but Melanie laughed, a musical sound that grated against my ears. "Her babies, huh? She thinks you're a baby too?"

I rolled my eyes at the pitiful insult, although I could feel my genetically shortened temper spark. "Shut it, Melanie."

"Aw, poor baby, what's wrong?" she asked in a whiny voice. "Did big bad Melanie make you cry?" The corners of Olivia mouth twitched. Melanie smirked, showing off her perfect white teeth. I glared at the pair, deciding it would be best to leave before my temper really got out of control. "Aw, what's wrong? Don't leave!"

I ignored their giggles as I left, but the compartment door slammed hard behind me. I mumbled angrily to myself as I walked down the train, my mood darkening as the person I least wanted to see poked his head out of his own compartment, probably to see what the commotion was. A smirk spread across his face when he saw who it was.

"Hey, Gaunt. Have a nice summer?" The words were kind, but the tone was mocking. I didn't reply. "Hey, Pete, what d'you think Gaunt does in the summer? I'm thinking Dumbledore." Peter Pettigrew's face popped into the doorframe next to Sirius'.

"Dumbledore? I was thinking more along the lines of McGonagall." Pete couldn't even manage to say it seriously before he burst out laughing, followed by Sirius as soon as he heard McGonagall's name.

"Fuck off, Black, I'm not in the mood," I snapped, earning myself two shocked looks, then one smirk as Sirius stepped out of his compartment and into my path, putting his hands against the wall so I couldn't pass. After all, he was the sort to poke a sleeping dragon in the eyes.

"'S wrong with you? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? Or were you horrified when you realized who you were next to?" He smirked at the flush that crept into my cheeks.

"Actually, I just realized that I have to see your revolting face again. In fact, it makes me rather nauseous."

"Well, yours isn't much better, I can tell you. At least some people think _I'm_ attractive."

I rolled my eyes and ground my teeth together. As always, Sirius was being a right pain in my ass. "Of _course_ they do," I said sarcastically, although I knew that it was true that everyone thought he was attractive, because he was. Of course, I was too, as had been proven by my increasing list of boyfriends. Not that I was a whore or anything; I was still a virgin, in fact, but that didn't mean I couldn't have a lot of boyfriends. I had my reasons, of course; if all a boy wanted you for was sex, you'd dump them all too.

Sirius smirked in response; perhaps he hadn't caught my feigned sarcasm? He leaned forward, bringing us closer, with barely inches between us. I stared at him, realizing that he'd grown quite a bit over the summer; he stood at least a few inches taller than me. His well-toned muscles could easily be seen through his cotton muggle t-shirt. "'Course. But I bet you know that better than anyone, right?" he asked, smirking wider and moving closer. Confusion blossomed in my mind; was Sirius Black hitting on me? No way.

"Sirius, what are you doing?"

Sirius looked around, dropping his arms to his sides. "Oh, hey James. Done already?"

"No, just patrolling. What were you doing just now?"

"What happened to your face, mate?" Sirius asked, changing the subject without hesitation. James didn't like it when Sirius and I argued, though I wasn't sure if it was because we usually broke something or because I was a girl. Looking around Sirius, I saw that James' face was rather red on one side, leaving me jumping to a single conclusion.

Lily.

"Oh, uh, well, you know..." James muttered, ruffling his hair so that it was even more untidy than usual, a hard thing to achieve and something he only did when he didn't want to admit to something. He shook his head frantically before turning to me. "So what were you doing just now?"

Sirius scowled and glared at me, warning me not to spill. Not that I would have anyways. I mean, seriously, I had a heart, whether he thought so or not. "Nothing. I was just passing by, that's all." Not technically a lie, right? I _was_ just passing by. James gave us a suspicious look, but shrugged.

"Right. Well, you should both get back in your compartments. I'd hate for Lily to get down here and take points just cause you're out here. You two know how Lily can be..." We all stood in silence, thinking about all the injuries she'd caused to James in the past six years. Finally, James sighed and rubbed his red cheek. "Well, hop to it! Back in those compartments!" Sirius saluted him jokingly, gave me a final smirk and headed back into the compartment. As soon as the door was closed, James came closer and gave me a glare. "So really, what was he doing this time?"

I smiled. "Aw, Potter, you make it sound like it's all his fault." Which it was, admittedly. "'S alright, really. Just typical us."

"It sure didn't _look_ typical."

That was what I hated about James; he was so playful and mischievous that you forgot how blunt and amazingly _perceptive_ he was. Lily really didn't know what she was turning down. "Okay, what do you think it was?"

"Well, that's why I'm asking, isn't it? I know it _looked_ like you two were about to go shag in a broom cupboard."

I automatically made a gagging sound, which seemed to comfort James quite a bit. "Black? And _me_? I'd rather die." James laughed, suddenly switching back to the James Potter I knew. "So, what _did_ happen to your face? I could take a shot in the dark and say Lily, but I rather hate jumping to conclusions."

The rest of James' face went a shade darker to match his cheek. "Well, you know, I haven't seen her all summer..." I gave him an exasperated look. "I just tried to give her a little kiss on the cheek, that's all; and she slapped me and told me to bugger off. Then we sent all the younger prefects off, and we were alone and she slapped me again even though I didn't do anything." Wow. Lily was really pissed off, obviously.

"Oh. She's probably just confused... and shocked." James gave me his own version of confusion, so I hastened to explain myself. "She doesn't understand how you ended up Head Boy. Neither do I, honestly."

James just shrugged and smiled at me. "I'd better get back to work though, before she hits me again." He laughed jovially, and I suddenly got the impression that he was enjoying her abuse. Anything would suffice for him, I suppose, when it was from Lily, the love of his life. "See ya later, Artemis."

"Sure, James." He sauntered off, still looking awfully happy for someone who was suffering major abuse at the hands of the one he loved.

It really made me wish that I were in love.

***~~~***

Sirius Black watched as James and Artemis conversed right outside the compartment he was sharing with Peter Pettigrew, Jonathon Bell, and Wes O'hare, all of whom were staring at his unusually quiet self. Sirius greatly wished that he could read lips; he had the sneaking suspicion that they were talking about him. James laughed at something that Artemis said, then instantly stopped, blushing a deep crimson. They talked for a few more seconds before James turned and started walking down the train, presumably resuming his Head Boy duties. Artemis stared after him with a strange look, something like... happiness, maybe? Or envy? Desire? Aw, well, whatever it was, it made something stir in Sirius' gut.

Feelings were confusing, Sirius thought angrily, thinking about both this strange feeling of jealousy and the other one that he had felt moments before, when he'd been standing over Artemis' form, realizing just how beautiful she was. Of course, she _was_ beautiful; she was gorgeous. Sirius had snogged a lot of pretty girls, he'd admit it; but none of them had been as stunning as she. Sirius was attracted to her, even though he didn't want to be; it was purely physical. But he'd known all that last year; what had suddenly come over him to make him lean over her like that? If James hadn't showed up, he probably wouldn't have been able to stop himself from kissing her. And then they'd be in big trouble. Because Sirius really did loathe her, even if he didn't really have a great outstanding reason to. Things like that didn't change; James and Sirius had proven that with Snivelly multiple times over the six years they'd been in school.

"Sirius? SIRIUS!" Sirius jerked back to reality, looking back at Peter, the portly boy giving Sirius a concerned look. "You alright? You looked like you were in a trance." Wes and Jonathon stared at Sirius as well, big smirks stretched across their faces.

"Dreaming about Artemis, Sirius? Can't see why you don't just shag her already," Wes commented, flinching when Sirius gave him a deep glare and a dark growl.

"S'not funny, Wes! That's just disgusting!"

"Sure, you say that now. But you know you want her," he replied, waggling his eyebrows at Sirius. Peter stared at him.

"How do you know that?" Pete asked, looking from Wes to Sirius slowly.

"Well, Peter," started Jonathon, always the smartest of the six seventh Gryffindor boys, "it's all psychology. If Sirius truly hated Artemis, like he says that he does, he wouldn't be able to stand being around her."

"I can't."

"He would stay far away from her, wouldn't talk to her at all. You know, most people tease and mock each other to get their attention."

"Oh, right. So you're saying the same thing about Snivelly then?" Sirius asked, giving Jon the only thing that could possibly be more wrong than him being with Artemis. Wes snorted, but Jon just rolled his eyes.

"_No_. Snape's a guy, Artemis is a girl. There's a difference."

"Yeah, well, I know _that_."

Jon sighed and rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Well then, I guess I'm just a psychotic freak. 'Course, so is she. The Gaunt family is a pureblood family. They're famous for inbreeding," Sirius said, disgust evident in his voice. "Genetics are all messed up. She's just lucky she got her mum's genes; you've seen her dad right?" The four boys paused, mentally comparing the twins to their father. His brown eyes faced in different directions, his black hair graying.

"That's true," Jon said after a few minutes, "but she's really not a complete nutter. She's got some very redeeming qualities." He paused when three pairs of eyes turned on him. "Not physical qualities! I swear, all you three think about... in any case, she's really quite nice, and she's very smart."

"You're forgetting the fact that she's a bitch," Sirius interrupted.

"Only to you. In case you never noticed, James and Artemis get along quite well, though nothing will happen there since James is completely smitten with Lily." Jon looked around the compartment thoughtfully. "In fact, she treats the three of us quite well. I think you might be the only one that she's really bitchy with."

Sirius grimaced. "Right. Let's talk about something else now. Hey Pete, you think she really does do McGonagall?"

***~~~***

I was extremely relieved when Lily and Mira showed back up at our compartment, which I had reluctantly returned to after my run in with Sirius and James. It must have shown on my face because they both gave me weird looks. Mira took her place next to me.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" she whispered quietly, looking around at Olivia and Melanie. I just shrugged. Mira gave me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I had to patrol, but we're almost there." She paused, as if unsure if she should say what she wanted to. "I, er, heard you saw Sirius."

Melanie giggled at Sirius' name. She was his most recent ex; I was sure that she still wanted him though. It was hard to think otherwise when she giggled loudly at any mention of his name, even if it was a small whisper. Sirius was the one who had broke it off, though none of the girls knew why. Mira ignored her.

"I'm sorry, Ar, I should've been there! I know I'm your back up and all. A woman shouldn't go into battle alone!" she exclaimed, clenching her fists and acquiring a dramatically determined expression.

"S'alright, Mira. How were you supposed to know? James saved me, anyways; but really, Black was getting a little confusing..." I hesitated, but it was too late to hide it now.

"What do you mean? James saved you? And Sirius was confusing? Come on, Ar, tell me what happened!" The other three girls leaned in closer to get the juicy scoop as well.

"Er, well, you know... he was just acting _different_. I couldn't really tell since he was talking and acting with the same mocking attitude, but I think he was hitting on me..."

Melanie responded with a loud and very undignified snort of laughter. "Sirius? Hitting on _you_? Did you fall on your head this summer, Gaunt? There's not a way in hell that Sirius Black was flirting with _you_!" I frowned; Melanie was right, of course. Sirius Black flirting with me was the equivalent of the Apocalypse or hell freezing over. "Besides, I'm going to get him back this year, just you wait and see! I've got a plan, and Sirius won't be able to resist me!" The rest of Gryffindor's girls seventh stared at her. I began thinking that she was way too obsessed.

"Well, I, for one, am going to find some way to force James Potter to fall out of love with me. I'm sick of it and I'm going to get rid of him."

Olivia piped in with her own romantic fantasies. "I'm going to make myself the perfect woman for Cyllarus Vanderly!"

"That Hufflepuff boy? Good choice!" Mira commented, then put on a dreamy look. "I just want gorgeous Hyper Paxley! You know, that Ravenclaw. He's so handsome!"

I rolled my eyes. The four of them looked at me for my put. "I'm just going to avoid guys altogether this year. Love is overrated anyways."

"Says the virgin who's afraid of sex. Face it, you're not mature enough to handle relationships," Melanie smirked. "You'll always be alone, just because you won't just shag a man when he wants it."

I snorted. "Right, I'm totally into only being loved for my body. I'm more of a fan of platonic relationships; no sex for me. It's not my fault I attract assholes who only want to shag."

"Oh yeah? I think you're just afraid. Afraid of getting close to a guy. I bet you'll be a virgin your whole life."

"Well at least that way I won't get screwed over with STDs or a kid! Two things I'm not into having right now. Men are impossible anyways, and really, I pity anyone who dates for sex and not for love. Oh, wait, _sorry_, I forgot; how old is you're son, now?"

"Alright, you two, cut it out!" Lily yelled, at which point I realized that both Melanie and myself were standing up, glaring at each other with fiery fury. "If Artemis wants to take a vow of celibacy, let her! And if Melanie wants to shag Sirius Black silly, go for it! I know you two can't stand each other, but we've got one more year to go, and either of you put a toe out of line and I'll have your asses!" She took a deep breath, rearranging her robes. "Now get changed, all of you; we'll be there in a few minutes and I'll be damned if our Gryffindor seventh doesn't look more proper than everyone else!" With that, she stormed out of the compartment, presumably to whip the boys seventh into shape.

"I bet you can't go the whole year without a boyfriend," Melanie said suddenly, her face breaking into an evil grin. "In fact, I _dare _you to try it." I stared at her. "I don't think you can do it. For one, you're way too kind, as long as we aren't talking Sirius. There's no way you'll be able to refuse all those guys. Second, a girl's best friend is her boyfriend. What'll you do when Mira has herself a guy and you have no one? We're in our _seventh year_, our last year. You can't make it to the end of the year without a boyfriend."

"Oh yeah? Watch me," I hissed, giving the evil brunette a scowl.

An awkward silence prevailed while we glared at each other ferociously, Mira and Olivia watching us in complete awe. But Melanie was trying to insult my pride; what else could I do but retaliate with something I knew insulted her just as much.

"You know what I think, though? I don't think that you have a chance with Black."

Olivia and Mira both gasped, absolute silence following right after. Melanie gazed at me with fury and pride etched in her face.

"You wanna bet?" she asked in a fierce tone. I smiled sadistically and leaned forward, whispering so that the others had to lean closer to hear.

"I bet that, no matter how hard you try, Sirius Black won't take you back." The fury in her face increased tenfold, and she seemed to struggle immeasurably to find something to come back with. She didn't get the chance, however, because our malignant conversation was cut short as Lily came back in, straightening her robes again.

"I swear, you have the right idea, Artemis. Those boys are like monkeys!"

"Like adorable, playful, _lovable_ monkeys, Artemis," Melanie whispered in my ear.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. This was going to be a year just crammed full of fun.

((A/N: Hope you liked it!! Reviews are appreciated!))


	2. Here Goes My Life

((A/N: This is where some of the warnings from last time kick in. Enjoy!!))

((Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Sadly. (For me anyway...)))

Sitting in the Great Hall, though, I decided that perhaps it might be a good year after all. Start of Term dinner was always enjoyable, whether I had to deal with Sirius Black and Melanie Jordan or whether I didn't. And today, I didn't. As it were, Melanie was sitting by Sirius about ten people away from me, flirting away. Judging by the annoyed expression on Sirius' face, she wasn't off to a good start on her master plan, which, for some reason, made my pie taste about five times better than normal.

Meanwhile, Lily, Olivia, and Mira were all chatting happily around me while I scarfed down a large slice of chocolate cream pie, chasing it down with some pumpkin juice.

"I can't believe we're here! In our seventh year, I mean. I feel like just yesterday we were all first years," Lily said.

"Yeah, this year is going to be so amazing!" Olivia squealed, earning some stares but ignoring them all.

"Remember when Peter accidentally turned James into a fish?" I laughed, the memory suddenly coming back of transfiguration a few years ago. Lily had almost peed her pants, she'd laughed so hard. I had just wished that James had been Sirius.

"Yeah, and when Professor Slughorn accidentally knocked out Sirius with that sleeping potion he thought was a Tittering Tonic?" Now that one I'd found funny, although Sirius made sure to punish me for my amusement later with jokes more ruthless than usual.

"How 'bout fifth year, when Ar knocked that Slytherin right off his broom with the quaffle? He cringed every time he saw her coming!"

"My bad," I laughed.

We went on like this for a while, bringing up the funniest, happiest memories of our Hogwarts years to reminisce about. Finally, Dumbledore stood and told us all to have a great year and to get off to bed. As if he'd spoken magic words, a great sleepiness came over me, and I lugged myself after my friends, extremely happy to find my four-poster bed warm and comfy.

For the first week, everything was completely normal, as if no animosity existed between any of us. Schedules were passed out, classes and meals were attended, students stayed up late doing absolutely nothing, even though they should have been doing their homework. The Marauders snuck out and began pulling irritating pranks, James flirted with Lily, and I argued a bit with Sirius, but everything was just as it should have been, just as it had been for the past six years.

That is, until breakfast the Monday a week after term started.

"Hey Artemis. How's it going?" Patton Lexing, a Hufflepuff, asked me casually as he passed me by in the Great Hall.

I shrugged. "Fine. You?"

"Oh, you know, good. So, uh, Slughorn sent you an invitation to his welcome back party yet?" he asked, his eyes sticking to my face like glue. I could see where this was headed, but I had no idea how to stop it, because really I'd never wanted to.

"Yeah. Friday, right?" He nodded.

"Yeah. Are you going with anyone? 'Cause if you're not, I'd love to take you." Melanie cleared her throat a few seats away, in the middle of her flirting with Sirius, whose irritated expression had darkened considerably.

"Um, I was actually just going to go alone, just hang out with my friends. Sorry." Patton's smile had dropped of his face, but I had one on mine, or at least, I had a fake one.

"Well, I'm sure your friends will forgive you. I mean, s'not like you're running off with me."

"Sorry, I already promised them."

"Come on, just ask them; I'm sure they'll be alright with it."

I glared at him and looked at my friends for help. Lily was about to say something, but Melanie interrupted, having left Sirius to come and sit next to me. "Aw, go on, Ar, we're fine with it."

Bitch. She'd even used my nickname, which, needless to say, was best friends' only.

So I turned back to Patton, who was smiling at me again.

"See, they're fine with it. So it's a date," he said, already walking away. Irritation flared, and I glared after him. Why would he just assume that just because my friends approved, I was okay with it too?

"No." Everyone stared at me, my friends shifting nervously in my seat. Well, here went the reputation that I'd worked six years to build, the image of a nice girl, despite a mostly rotten family. Well, an entirely rotten family. I tried to think of a sort of nice way to make everyone stay away from me, think that I was nice but get that I didn't want a boyfriend. I couldn't think of anything, except perhaps tell the truth, something that I already knew none of the guys would understand anyways. So I put on my best indifferent face and tried to turn him down gently. "I don't want to go to the party with you. I don't really like you much." Everyone within hearing distance had his or her mouth gaping open.

"You... don't like me?" Patton had a confused and hurt look on his face; I tried to keep the guilt from welling up and coming out.

"No. Sorry." As if sorry could repair the damage I'd just done to his psyche.

"Right... er, sorry to bother you then." Patton turned and didn't look back, but no one else turned away, staring at me like I was some sort of freak show.

I might have left it out earlier, but I'd never turned anyone down before. I'd always given people a chance before dumping them, perhaps out of some sort of vain hope that someone out there would actually care about _me_. The guilt welled up again, threatening my sanity, so I grabbed my stuff, whispered a quiet "See you in class" to my friends, and rushed out of the Hall. No one followed, but I still felt like everyone was watching me; I could still see the shocked and hurt look on Patton's face.

Huh. I'd never thought I'd say this, but Sirius was right.

I was a bitch.

***~~~***

"What the hell was that all about?" Sirius asked Mira as they exited the Great Hall. Mira gave him a flustered look.

"Er, uh, nothing. She just, erm, isn't feeling well, I think."

"Then why doesn't she just go see Madam Pomfrey?" James asked from Mira's other side.

"How should I know? I'm her best friend, not her mother." Mira snapped. She hurried off before James or Sirius could ask her any more questions, increasing the suspicion the two already felt.

Sirius spent his whole day carefully watching the girls seventh, trying to figure out just what the hell was going on. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to get any clues, because once again, everything was going back to normal, besides the fact that everyone now saw just how much of a bitch Artemis was.

James, however, was even more curious than Sirius, because out of the girls seventh, Lily seemed as confused about the goings on as James and Sirius were. Whatever Lily didn't know couldn't hurt her, that much was true, but that just meant that it was trouble. But just how to go along figuring out what sort of trouble? It was completely obvious that Artemis had something to do with it, and Melanie knew something about it too; but what the hell was _it_?

***~~~***

Lily was right in the middle of interrogating me when James slipped into the common room. Neither of us really noticed him, though. After all, when Lily got going with the questions, she was rather hard to ignore.

"Come on, Artemis, I know you're not sick! Not even a little cold! Tell me what's going on!"

"Lily, I mean it, I'm just tired is all. Didn't get much sleep last night."

"Don't give me that crap! I know for a fact you were out before I was."

"How do you know I wasn't pretending? It's really quite easy to pretend to be asleep."

"It's true," James interrupted, pushing his glasses up his nose as he joined us. Lily gave him one of her trademark death glares. James seemed to falter a little, but picked himself up like any man would do. "Artemis, I need to talk to you."

"We're in the middle of something, Potter!" Lily snapped, grabbing my arm and starting to pull me away.

"But, Evans, wait! It's about Quidditch!" Lily ignored him, only pausing and scowling back at James when I dug my heels into the floor and forced her to.

"It's about Quidditch? Oh, my bad," she said scathingly. "Sorry I care more about the well-being of my friend than about your stupid Quidditch!"

"Er, don't I get a say?" I asked, but they both ignored me.

"Please, Lily? Just a few seconds? I just need to talk to her for a few seconds." Lily's rock hard countenance wasn't crumbling. James sighed, taking on Quidditch captain role. "Out in the hallway, Gaunt!" he yelled, just like he did at practice. I tried to obey, just like _I _always did, but Lily wouldn't release my arm.

"Lily, come on. I promise it'll take like three seconds, then I'll come up to the dorm with a reason for my misbehavior, 'kay?" I begged. Lily shook her head, but her grip lessened and I took the opportunity to get out of her fingers and shot out the portrait hole. "Sorry, Lily!" I yelled over my shoulder, just hoping that James could keep up with me.

When I stopped a few minutes later, James was barely behind me, panting for breath with his hands on his knees. I rolled my eyes at him, waiting for him to recover from our mad sprint.

"You know," he gasped, leaning against the wall for support, "sometimes I wonder if you aren't a genetically mutated freak."

I grimaced. "Who the hell—oh, never mind, I know who." James looked at me guiltily.

"Sorry... you know he's my best mate. Usually, we rag on Snape, but sometimes he slips and starts on you."

I shrugged. "It's fine. We're basically arch-enemies, so what can you expect, right?" James slowly nodded.

"Yeah, guess so. Anyways, I just wanted to ask you something. About breakfast."

"Oh," I said, not bothering to keep the disappointment out of my voice. "For some reason, I was thinking more along the lines of Quidditch practice."

"Well, yeah, that too. Why don't we switch, then? You tell me, then I'll tell you."

"Tell you what?" I asked, trying out the play-dumb routine.

"Tell me what happened at breakfast."

"What happened at breakfast?" He gave me a don't-be-a-prat look. I sighed. "Nothing happened, I just didn't want to go out with him."

"Well, yeah, that much was obvious." I scowled at him. "I was just wondering _why_? You realize that's the first time you've ever turned someone down? Everyone thinks the world might be ending."

"What the hell does it have to do with you?" I snapped, losing my temper at all the questions. It was getting old. James glared at me.

"Right, I just thought you'd like to know when practice was, but if you'd rather be in the dark..."

My mouth dropped open. "You can't be serious? That's not fair, Potter!"

"Life's not fair. I'm your team captain, and obviously something's wrong with you. I need to know what it is; I don't want it to affect our game." He paused, giving me an apologetic look. "That and I care about you. If something's wrong, I want to know."

I sighed and looked away. Obviously a simple lie wasn't going to get me out of this big mess I'd made myself. "I'm just... being stupid is all."

"What d'you mean?" James gave me his best Head Boy look. "What did you do?" he asked in a severe voice.

"I just, I don't know, I just don't want to go out with guys anymore." James stared at me in shock, probably jumping to weird conclusions. "I mean, not girls either! I'm not going to go out with anyone. I thought being a little harsher than normal might make it clear. Obviously not." James had gotten a slightly relieved expression on his face, but he was obviously still surprised.

"What brought that on?" I shuffled me feet and shrugged. Didn't really want to answer that one. James glared at me suspiciously, but then sighed. "Well, then. Guess that's good enough for now. Practice tomorrow night, before dinner. Don't be late." I stared after him for a few minutes after he'd left before I realized that I'd overlooked something.

Like Sirius.

Of course, I didn't realize this until he was standing right behind me, tugging my waist-length black hair playfully. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked, not bothering to turn around.

"I was just congratulating you on your fabulous humiliation of Lexing this morning, and I wanted to thank you for proving that you are a bitch. I always love being proven right." Without another word, he passed me by, probably headed to the common room, and just like that, any bit of comfort I'd managed to give myself vanished. My gaze dropped to the ground, but had I been looking up, I would have seen an unusual expression on Sirius' face as he glanced back at me.

A few minutes later, I found myself being lectured once again by Lily; despite the fact that I was now more in the mood for a long nap, I listened to her talk and answered some of her questions, though I didn't answer any questions that might send me into a heap of trouble. I basically told her what I told James, just what I'd said on the train. No boyfriends for me.

"Well, yeah, but did you have to be so mean about it? I'm sure there was a better way to do that." I glared at her.

"You do the same thing to James all the time." That caught her off guard and made her face flush red.

"That's _not_ the same thing! I've told him no multiple times, he just doesn't listen! And he's an arrogant little berk, and I don't like him at all! Why are you saying this stuff, Artemis?"

"I didn't say anything, Lily." I smiled at her, face the same color as her hair. She glared at me. "And besides, I told him no, like five times. It's not my fault he was basically trying to force me to go on a date with him."

I could swear that Lily was starting to puff up like some sort of giant red balloon. "That's beside the point! There were better ways to do that than to humiliate him completely in front of the entire school! You say sorry to him!" I stared at her. What was up with people today? They were obviously intent on making me pissed off and depressed. And it was working, a bad, bad sign.

"Butt out, Lily. It's none of your business. I'm going to go take a shower," I added, ignoring the fact that her mouth was wide open. She continued to stare at me as I gathered my stuff and headed to the bathroom. Funny, though, how when my razor slipped, cutting my knee and letting my blood flow, it only made me feel better.

((A/N: Reviews are appreciated!))


	3. A Big Old Hunk of Crazy

((Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter, to my immense displeasure. But then, maybe that's all for the better.))

"What happened to your knee?"

"Hm?" I asked, more than a bit tired the next morning. I'd sat up all night trying to figure out how the hell seeing my life-blood leave my body when I'd accidentally cut myself in the shower could possibly make me feel any better. I'd finally decided that it really didn't; after all, dying wasn't a very comforting thought, whether I was depressed and angry or not. Which I was currently not. I was too tired to be depressed.

"I asked what happened to your knee," Mira repeated, giving me a worried look. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," I insisted, glancing down at my leg as I put on my robes, which covered my knee nicely. "My hand just slipped while I was shaving."

"Oh, I hate it when that happens. Hurts like a bitch."

"Yeah." Silence ensued, and not one of the comfortable ones.

"You sure you're alright?" Mira asked, giving me an even more worried look. "You seem rather off..."

"Huh?" I said, zoning out again. "Oh, yeah, I'm just really tired. Couldn't get to sleep last night." I yawned widely, as if by speaking the words my body had suddenly realized they were true.

"Maybe you should go see the nurse?" she suggested softly, not wanting to command me but obviously afraid that I was contracting an illness of some sort. I just smiled.

"I'm fine."

And that was that. She didn't ask any more questions as we went down to breakfast, joining Lily and Olivia at the table for toast and juice. They both stared at me as I sat down.

"What?" I growled in an aggravated voice, trying to keep my fragile temper from flaring. They still jumped and shook their heads, muffling their voices with their toast. I scowled, but turned to my own breakfast, only to start choking it when Sirius slid himself onto the bench right next to me, close enough that our knees were pushed tight against each other, and slung his arm around my waist. The fluttering feeling in my stomach surprised me, as did the sweet boyish scent that rolled off him and made me dizzy.

"Merlin, you look like crap," he commented, grabbing my toast from my hand while I was busy unsuccessfully trying to swallow the bite I'd just taken of it. "Melanie's not down here yet?" he asked Lily, who was staring at him like he was an alien while he munched on my toast. She slowly shook her head. Finally, I managed to get my airways clear, barely succeeded in keeping my voice to a minimum, and wriggled myself out from under his arm.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Black?" I snapped under my breath, only getting a smirk in response as he put his arm around me again. He looked around me to the doors, then leaned forward again.

"You're going to pretend to be my girlfriend," he stated with a completely serious face. I gaped at him, my mouth hanging open. "Melanie won't take a hint, and when I told her to bugger off, she just got more persistent. So you can blame her."

"Bloody—Melanie? You want _me_ to pretend to be your _girlfriend_ so that bloody _Jordan_ will stop stalking you?" He grinned evilly and nodded. Big mistake, though. I mean, really, what happened next was completely his fault.

Actually, I didn't even realize what I'd done till I was in McGonagall's office, trying to explain to Dumbledore and McGonagall why Sirius Black had been taken to the Hospital Wing in the shape of an extremely smelly bald skunk missing a few, er, body parts and perhaps some bones as well. I almost laughed when I thought back on it; he'd probably not smell quite like that Sirius smell I'd noticed for a few weeks at least. I might have to watch my back for a while, but at least I'd be able to smell him coming.

In the end, I had four detentions, all four on Saturdays, during the first of which I'd be helping Slughorn prepare the more volatile and disgusting ingredients for the first and second year students. A price well worth it, I suppose. I got off pretty lucky, actually; Filch was mumbling in the background the whole time about shackles. As soon as it had been established that I would go to Slughorn's office at three this coming Saturday, I was sent off to double Herbology; I took my time, not in any real hurry to see if the damage I'd done had been repaired. I didn't even make it to the entrance hall before I saw that it was.

Sirius was a little ways ahead of me, heading down the stairs. He glanced back at my footsteps, then turned back forward again, ignoring my presence completely. Which rather frustrated me; what kind of person just ignores the one who turned him into a skunk not even an hour before. I quickened my pace, catching up to him as we crossed the entrance hall. He gave me an angry glance out of the corner of his eye before turned back to the front doors and pushing through them. I was a little disappointed that he didn't smell bad. In fact, there was no sign at all of the ordeal that I'd put him through. I sighed; he whirled around, as if my sigh had pissed him off more than my presence had. His gray eyes flashed from underneath his black hair, showing what his calm countenance did not. For a few seconds, we just stared at each other.

"What?" he snapped finally.

"Er, I was just wishing I'd done a better job. With the transfiguration, I mean. I was hoping you'd still smell a little after they fixed you." By this time, I was standing next to him and feeling quite sadistic. I sneered at him as I passed him by. I was surprised when he grabbed my arm and pulled me around to face him, raising his hand and slapping me across the face. I was even more surprised when none of my usual anger lashed out in response. "Done?" I asked, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye, awestruck at the calm in my voice, even through the stinging of my cheek. He leaned forward, a grim smile on his face; the memory of our encounter on the train flashed through my head and the sweet scent washed over me again.

"You wish."

The words almost seemed to echo around my brain as he walked away. I felt as if my world was spinning with the animosity in them, as if it was crashing down around me. I stood as if in a trance for a few minutes before I realized that Sirius had vanished, most likely to Herbology. I considered following, but suddenly I was in no mood for class, especially not one with Sirius (who had just promised me certain doom), James (who probably was not very impressed by my work), and Lily (who was almost certainly angry about the entire situation).

So instead I wandered in the general direction of the lake, trying to calculate how much detention I'd get for skipping.

***~~~***

"Where is she?" Lily muttered under her breath to Sirius, who was suddenly looking a bit more than flustered at the fourth repetition of the question.

"How the hell would I know?" he snapped, quite a bit louder than he intended; he instantly regretted it when Lily turned a vicious glare on him. "I'm not her babysitter, okay?"

"You said she was right behind you, but that was twenty minutes ago! What did you say to her?" Lily asked, suddenly becoming monstrously suspicious. James came to Sirius' aid.

"Lily, just because she may have decided to skip class doesn't mean it's Sirius' fault..." he faltered when Lily shot him a warning look. "Er, what I mean is, erm, I mean, I'm not saying he didn't have anything to do with it..." Now Sirius was glaring at him too. James grimaced and covered his mouth, trying to keep any further statements from slipping from his lips, slumping down in an attempt to escape the impaling death glances. Remus rolled his eyes at the trio from across the table.

Lily had braved the table of the four Marauders, aiming to discover the location of Ms. Gaunt, but she wasn't getting anywhere. Remus was getting nervous; if she didn't get the answer soon, he was worried that she'd kill something. Whether it was the Snargaluff that they were attempting to pot without being eaten or the four boys themselves had yet to be seen. Peter was currently trying to cower under the table, but Lily was once again focused on Sirius.

James having relented to Lily's fearsome gaze, Remus took up the task of rescuing Sirius.

"Evans, I think you're being rather unreasonable. Just because Sirius saw Artemis doesn't mean that she was headed to class. It's completely possible that she just decided to skip class since she's already in trouble anyways." Lily's death glare found Remus, and even though he tried to stop himself, he let out a small whimper and withdrew from the conversation as James had.

"I'm just _saying_," Sirius said, prodding the Snargaluff with his wand with the result of a strange "mrgggfffll" sound, "that she's got her own mind. It's not _my_ fault she's not in class, and I don't _know_ where she is."

Lily growled in response before turning to Professor Sprout, the relatively young Herbology teacher, with an enormous Head Girl smile. "Professor, may I please take a short peek outside, just to see where Ms. Gaunt has got to?"

Professor Sprout gave her a small nod then hurried off to help one of the students a few tables away reclaim his hand from his Snargaluff. Lily herself hastened to the door of the greenhouse, pulling her robes tighter to protect herself against the chill September air. It was a few more minutes before any of the Marauders could drag up the courage to say anything.

"I swear that girl is mental. I don't get you, Prongs," Sirius said, giving his best mate a sarcastic shake of the head; no sooner had he spoken than Lily's shouting was entering through the still open door.

"Artemis! What are you doing? Get the hell out of there!" Even though her voice was faint, not coming well through the greenhouse walls, Sirius judged from her tone that she was rather shocked; he had turned to the door, ready to run outside to see what Artemis was doing, but Professor Sprout interrupted.

"Everyone stay put! Mr. Potter, kindly go and see what Ms. Evans is shouting about."

James nodded and pushed through the students, all of whom were looking curiously at the door. Silence followed, besides Michael Creefer's shouts as the Snargaluff munched on his arm. When a few minutes of stillness had passed, most of the students returned to what they had been doing; Professor Sprout returned her attention to poor Michael, managing to save his arm from the conniving plant before too much damage had been done. Sirius returned his hands to the pot that they were preparing for their own Snargaluff, but his mind was still immensely curious. He didn't have to wait long.

"Artemis, what the hell are you _doing_?" James yelled, his voice giving some image of disbelief. His voice, like Lily's, was muffled, and whatever he said next was indecipherable. Professor Sprout hurriedly attended to the numerous cuts on Michaels arm before ordering the class to continue their work, hastening out the door to where the next trouble was. Sirius glanced at Peter and Remus, who stared back in alarm, or did until the Snargaluff between them began attacking them. Sirius' attention was drawn to the vicious plant before him, and he decided he'd rather keep all his limbs than try to work out what was happening outside.

***~~~***

"Artemis! What are you doing? Get the hell out of there!" Lily's shout ripped through my mind, jolting me back into reality and allowing me to realize that I was thigh-deep in the dark waters of the Black Lake. Confusion was the next feeling I felt. The last I'd remembered, I'd been sitting next to the lake, wondering how cold the water was on this chilly day. Certainly icy. Some voice deep inside me had said _Let's find out... jump in_. An obvious mistake; it was cold, it was dark, and it was stupid. Everything inside me told me so. Everything except that voice. _Jump in_, it said, _jump in. You know you want to..._ The next thing I knew, I was in the water, cold waves licking my thighs perversely.

I shivered.

"Artemis, what the hell are you _doing_?" James voice joined Lily's as he sprinted down the lawn after her. I vaguely wondered what they were doing; after all, class was still in session. Head Boys and Girls don't usually skip class. Well, at least, Lily didn't. By the time Lily reached the shore, the voices in my head had faded, and I realized clearly that they must have noticed that I wasn't in class and had come looking for me; shortly after that, I realized that the ice cold water was biting viciously at my legs. I shivered again and waded slowly to the shore as James came to a stop next to Lily, looking extremely pissed off, not at all the usual James Potter expression. I paused when the water reached as low as my ankles, considered making a break for it. The harsh stares that I was receiving made me feel very anxious, even more so when Professor Sprout's joined them.

"Ms. Gaunt, I think that now is hardly the time for a bath," she stated, beckoning to me with a wave. "Now get out of that water before you lose some limbs to frostbite!" I had no choice now, ordered by the teacher. I pulled myself out of the water, dragging myself up to the trio of superiors. Lily and James both opened their mouths to scold at the same time, but Sprout overrode them. "Ms. Gaunt, what on earth were you doing? Skipping class? Swimming in the lake? I'm afraid I'll have to give you a detention, and five points from Gryffindor. I'll allow Professor McGonagall to notify you of the time and place. You'd best go and change now, then come right back. Ms. Evans, perhaps you should go with her. Mr. Potter, back to class."

James gave me a final look of fury before he stalked back to class, followed by Sprout. Lily, meanwhile, shot me her own version of James' look as she started up the hill for the doors, pulling me by the wrist. When we reached the dormitory, Lily slammed the door behind us and whipped around to face me.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking? That bloody lake had to be below freezing! What made you go _in it_?" She half-yelled. When I didn't reply, she continued. "And then _earlier_! I know you hate Sirius, and I know that what he said was, well, was absolutely ridiculous and insulting and so, so _stupid_, but really, Artemis, did you have to transfigure him? Into a bald skunk, for god's sake?"

I smiled at the memory, but then I remember how he'd slapped me and basically warned me that life as I knew it was going to end. I sighed and went back to ignoring Lily's lecture, heading to my trunk and finding myself a clean pair of clothes. Lily decided that it wouldn't be that easy, however; she followed me to the bathroom, even going so far as to stand outside of the door and keep yelling at me, whether I was listening or not.

"Artemis! This is not funny! You and Sirius are seriously getting out of hand! There's a big difference between throwing witty insults back and forth and trying to maim each other!" She paused, listening for any response. When she got none but the rustling of cloth, she knocked on the door. "Artemis, are you listening to me? If you... Mira told me you were acting funny this morning, and that you cut your knee. If you're, you know, not feeling well or if you're depressed, you should, er, you should tell me. Or Mira, or McGonagall, or anyone really. We're here for you."

I opened the door and led the way back to the girls' dorm. "I'm not depressed! I'm just fine!" I paused by my bed, wondering if I should tell Lily about those weird voices.

_Don't tell her_, the voice commanded. _Don't tell her. She'll think you're crazy. They'll throw you in St. Mungo's._ I nodded to myself.

"I'm fine, really Lily. Just, er, thought I saw something is all. I was just a little curious. I promise I'm not depressed." _Not yet..._ the voice added gleefully. I did my best to hide my grimace. Lily gave me a skeptical look.

"Well, if you're sure..." she said slowly, then smiled at me. "I trust you, then. But, really, Mira and me, we're here for you if you ever need anything. Liv is too." I nodded, giving her a true smile. It was good to know that someone cared. "We ought to go back to class then. Well, I ought to go back to class; you ought to get to class in the first place. You were going to skip, weren't you?"

"Er, maybe?" She rolled her eyes at me. I shrugged, uncomfortable under her stare. "I, er, I didn't plan on it."

"Well, let's go then; Professor Sprout won't wait forever." I sighed and followed her out the doors. When we got down to the greenhouses, I avoided everyone's eyes, looking carefully at only the girls seventh's Snargaluff. Mira gave me a look that said she was definitely going to be questioning me later. Melanie gave me a smug look, and, oddly enough, Olivia mimicked it. I could feel Sirius' eyes drilling into the back of my skull. My head swam as I recalled how tired I'd been before breakfast.

_I wish this stupid plant would just eat me,_ I thought wearily. I suddenly realized what I was thinking. _Fuck, no I don't! I don't want to die, damn it all!_ Mira elbowed me gently.

"You alright? I really think you should go see Madam Pomfrey..."

I shook my head frantically. "I'm fine. I already told you, I'm just exhausted. I'll get some sleep tonight, and then I'll be just fine." Mira gave me a worried look, and Lily managed to mirror it perfectly. "Really, you two. I'm okay. I swear you two are like mother hens." I scowled and snatched the pot from Olivia, who was filling it with the wrong type of fertilizer. "Olivia, you need to use Lobalug manure, not Flobberworm manure. The Snargaluffs are real picky." Olivia glared at me, as if my correcting her, potentially a life-saving adjustment, was horrendously insulting. I kept myself from rolling my eyes, using my wand to open the Lobalug fertilizer and filling the pot halfway. When that was done, we spent another hour and a half wrestling the Snargaluff into the new pot. Mira almost lost her pinky when she bent a root a little in the wrong direction, and Melanie almost lost her perfect nose when she shot Olivia a This-is-stupid look. Lily and I were the only two who managed to make it by without a scratch, a miracle for me since I was half asleep.

"That was the most ridiculous lesson we've ever had!" Mira scowled as we headed out of the greenhouses after class. I laughed at her. "I mean it! Who the hell wants those stupid things anyways? Why would you want a man-eating plant?"

"Oh, come on now, Mira. They're the perfect guards!" I laughed. "I mean, throw them in your garden; you'll never have anyone stealing your veggies!" Mira scowled.

"Yeah, but is it worth it? Those things almost ate Creefer!"

I snorted. "Yeah, well, Creefer's always all zoned out. If you know what you're doing and you pay attention, you'll be fine." I glanced back at Michael, who was nursing a scratched up arm. "Besides, with Sprout there, nothing was going to happen. She might be a relatively new teacher, but she knows what she's doing."

Mira sighed. "Ar, you're always so stubborn. I know you enjoy Herbology, but _Snargaluffs_? Really, Artemis?"

"Well, sure. Although, I'd personally prefer some Devil's Snare." Mira shook her head at me, rolling her eyes at my strange tastes. "I like Care of Magical Creatures better though."

"Yeah, I know you do. I don't understand why you're so obsessed with the thestrals, though." She rolled her eyes again as we entered the entrance hall. "You're so strange." I just shrugged. After a few minutes of silently climbing stairs and ambling down hallways, Mira broke the silence once again. "So, uh, how'd you end up in the lake?"

I paused in the middle of the hallway, feeling a small blush creep up my neck. "Who told you that?"

"James stopped by our table; he whispered it in my ear. None of the others heard, though. I don't think he even told Sirius, even though he was basically begging." She gave me another of those concerned looks, something I seemed to be getting quite a lot of today. "Why'd you go in?"

I didn't really know how to reply, so I just shrugged. _She'll think you're crazy_, the voice told me.

_Maybe I am_, I thought back.

"Artemis, please, if something's wrong..."

"I'm fine, really. And I'm also tired of repeating myself," I said, giving her an annoyed look.

"Well, if you'd tell the truth, maybe you wouldn't have to repeat yourself." I stared at her. Was she accusing me of lying to her? My best friend? Instead of dignifying her statement with a response, I passed her, off to Charms. She caught up to me after a few seconds. "I'm sorry, Ar, I am. I won't bother you anymore, okay? Just promise me you'll tell me if you, you know, if you aren't okay."

"I will, I promise. Now can we change the subject?"

"Sure. How about Sirius? That was the most hideous, er, thing I've ever seen, whatever the hell you changed him into. Smelled real bad, though. Was it a skunk?"

"Yeah, couldn't you tell?" I grinned at her.

"Well sure, if you'd left the tail, or left the hair, or left his, er, you-know-whats. Why'd you make him a female skunk?"

"I didn't think he deserved those. In fact, he really wasn't a gender. He was an it."

Mira snorted as we arrived at the classroom, earning herself a curious look from Remus, standing against the wall a little ways away.

"Something funny?" he asked, looking carefully between us.

"Oh, just discussing Artemis' wonderful transfiguration this morning."

"Ah, that. You might want to watch your back, Artemis. Sirius isn't going to take that lying down. I'd expect at least a few days of, er, what do you call it? Fun? If not more like months..."

"I figured as much. You wouldn't happen to have heard what he was saying to me, did you?"

Remus smiled and nodded. "I did. If I wasn't one of his mates, I might agree that he deserved it. Don't tell him I said that though." I nodded. "How much detention did you get?"

"Four Saturdays. First one's with Slughorn this Saturday. Preparing some ingredients for the first and second years. Course, now I guess I should add on that one Sprout gave me..."

"That reminds me... if you don't mind me asking, what were you doing this morning? When you were supposed to be in class I mean."

"I was, er, going for a little swim," I admitted. Remus stared at me disbelievingly, ignoring his sandy hair as it fell into his eyes. "Er, yeah, thought I saw something in the water, and I just ended up in it, I guess." Remus raised his eyebrows a little higher, but didn't ask any questions, to my immense relief.

"Right... well I hope you enjoyed your, er, swim, then. You think maybe you caught a chill? You don't really look so hot."

"Just tired is all. Thanks for your concern, though, Remus." Remus smiled at me. I noticed suddenly that he was rather pale and tired-looking too. "You're not looking too good yourself."

"I'm tired too. I think I might be getting a little sick, maybe." I gave him a pitying look. "Uh oh..." He shot a disapproving look over my shoulder. I followed his gaze to find Sirius and James, though the latter had his face hidden in his hands. I didn't mind James, instead staring open mouthed at Sirius, who was busily snogging April May June, the Hufflepuff prefect, while he was walking. James quickly made his way to Remus, striking up an instant conversation.

"They've been going at it ever since halfway through Herbology! They won't _stop_!"

"I have a solution," I smirked, taking out a bottle of ink and taking careful aim at Sirius' head.

"No!" James yelled, but it was too late. Fortunately for Sirius, but unfortunate for April, the couple whirled around at the last minute, the bottle of black ink smashing against the back of April's blonde head. She spun around, staring at me with wide, tear-filled eyes.

"What the bloody hell, Gaunt?" she screamed, fleeing down the hall, right past Professor Flitwick, who gave me an amused, slightly disappointed look.

"Collecting detentions today, are we, Ms. Gaunt?"

_Fuck_, I cursed mentally. I was having a hell of week.


	4. It's All Part of the Plot

((Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, though I do have all seven books. YAY BOOKS!))

James scowled at me. I didn't make any eye contact as we ambled down to the team locker rooms for practice.

"Okay, now I _know_ something's up with you, Artemis," he started. "It's like you just don't care anymore. Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's _wrong_, really. I'm just having a really crappy week is all." I still avoided his eyes, even as he snorted in disbelief. "Really, I mean it! I don't know what's wrong with me this week. It's like, like Merlin waved his wand and said, 'Let Artemis go crazy this week!' And now here we are, and my week is turning to shit."

James shook his head and glared at me. "Listen, Artemis, I know this goes against, well, as you put it, Merlin; but I need you to _mind yourself_. Any more detentions and you'll have made the world record for most detentions earned in a forty-eight hour period. While that _is _an admirable goal, I can't have my chaser in detention for the next month and a half."

I nodded and rubbed my eyes, trying to wipe the exhaustion from the worst day in the history of my life away before practice. "Yeah. Mind myself."

"And if you make any more enemies, you'll wake up dead in your sleep. So just, please, _please_, just try to behave for a while?"

"You got it, Captain," I muttered, nodding. James didn't look at all relieved, however; he just gave me a frustrated look as we went to our separate locker rooms, men to the left, women to the right. Silvia and Terry Ralph, sisters from fifth and fourth year, keeper and beater, respectively, gave me curious looks as I came in.

"What?" I asked as they quickly looked away from me.

"Er, nothing, we were just, er, nothing," Terry stuttered, giving her sister a pleading look.

"Actually, we were wondering what's up with you? Sirius says your Slytherin blood's kicking in." I froze as I went to grab my Quidditch gear.

"Slytherin blood?"

"Yeah. Says that your whole family's part of Slytherin; says you're _related_ to him."

I gaped at her, and then realized suddenly that if I stood frozen like I was, they'd probably believe Sirius. So I forced my face into what I hoped was an amused look, pushing my body to move and perform actions that were mostly normal. "Black doesn't know what he's talking about. Me? Related to Slytherin?"

Terry gave me a surprised look, and Silvia looked at me with suspicion. I wondered if Sirius had had any proof when he had told them; after all, I really was related to Slytherin through my father. If Sirius had proof, maybe they were testing me somehow? If they knew that I was lying, they didn't say anything, instead returning to changing into their practice gear. When we joined the guys on the field, however, they were almost instantly next to Sirius, whispering to him frantically. I did my best to ignore them, but once we got on our brooms, the task got considerably harder.

Because they were ignoring me. All of them were; well, except for James, who rolled his eyes every time Sirius refused to pass me the quaffle, every time one of the Beaters "accidentally" aimed a bludger at me, and every time I started yelling and screaming at the lot of them that I was a part of the team. By the end of practice, I was bruised from the few bludger "accidents" that had made contact (I'd avoided most of them, but a few got past my defenses), and the entire team was shooting me looks of loathing. As we congregated in the locker rooms for the after practice meeting, I prepared myself to inquiry as to the reason for the nasty expressions, but James interrupted me.

"Er, Artemis, do you think you could take the equipment to the shed?" He gave me a look that was really quite easy to decipher. They were going to be talking about me, and James didn't want me present.

I was careful not to show any sign that I'd figured so much out, and I nodded, backtracking to the crate of balls and charming it to levitate while I walked behind it. Not the way to build up muscles, but it was a ton faster. When I reached the shed, I wondered if I should take my time going back, or if I should rush to catch the last of whatever was being said about me. I decided on the former. More than likely I would hear about it all later, either when Sirius decided to use it against me or when James decided to warn me. So I meandered a bit as I headed back, waving at Hagrid, the groundskeeper, as he headed up to the castle for dinner. I reached the locker rooms as everyone else headed out, giving me malicious grins as they passed me. They were all changed back to their normal clothes. James nodded to me as I approached.

"I'll wait for you while you change, Artemis. I need to talk to you about something." I felt a nervous twinge in my stomach. Something about the look on James' face made me feel apprehensive. I nodded and passed him into the girls' locker room, quickly changing and stuffing my gear into my bag. When I hurried out James gave me a surprised look.

"That was fast. Silvia and Terry always take forever."

"That's cause they always have to put their make-up on and do their hair and crap. I don't bother with that stuff." James gave me a skeptical look. "_Really_, I don't. I don't see any point in it, 'cept maybe to hide the real me. Stupid, don't you think?"

"Er, I guess so? Some girls need it though. Like that girl in Slytherin, the fifth year." He shivered. "Gives me the willies just thinking 'bout her."

I laughed and James shivered again, which really set me on my toes. James was obviously nervous himself, which he usually wasn't, unless Lily was in an especially bad mood. "Something wrong, James?"

"Er, no! Well, maybe." James scuffed his shoes in the dirt, giving his shoes an angry look and folding his arms firmly across his chest. Finally he sighed and looked back at me with big hazel eyes. "Artemis, you know you're like a little sister to me, even though I've never had a sister, or a brother for that matter, but that's beside the point. You really are though, like a sister, I mean. Even though we're not related, but we sort of are, since we're both Gryffindors and chasers and all. I mean, that counts for something, right?" I stared at him as he continued to babble about how we weren't related but he felt like we were kin. After a few minutes of him talking about how someday, when he married Lily, I was going to be there and he would be at my wedding to Si-er-omeone, I rolled my eyes.

"Are you going to get to your point anytime soon?"

"And when we have little babies—" James stopped mid-sentence; I wondered briefly what the hell he was talking about, but settled for shaking my head and giving him an impatient look. "Er... right, sorry. I guess, what I'm trying to say is, I really, _really_ don't want to say this. The team... the team thinks you've been acting really weird lately. Sirius is putting things into their heads too, but really, they've all just started to think you're cracking and turning into a nutter." He paused, staring at me wide eyed, almost as if trying to figure out how I was taking it. I gazed back at him with an indifferent look, but inside the anger was boiling up. "Er, they took a vote, and over half, er, about four of them, to be exact, want you off the team..." He paused again, but to both our astonishment, the anger didn't spill over. Instead it seemed to go cold, freezing in my chest. "They, er, they said they don't really trust you, but they don't understand. We all agreed that, er, until you change your attitude, or you at least tell us what the hell's wrong with you, you're suspended from the team." His gaze had returned to his shoes, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"I see." Just like that morning, there was no anger in my voice; in fact, there was no emotion at all. James gave me a hopeful expression.

"I know you love Quidditch. You're the best hope for us: you, Sirius, and I are the best chaser team in the school. We'll lose without you. You'll tell me what's going on, right? For the team?" He sounded almost pleading, like he was down on his knees begging, without actually being on his knees. And still, no emotion was prevalent in my conscious mind. Just guilt. Slowly I shook my head. I suppose in his mind, it was like I was betraying my own brother. It almost seemed like it to me too.

"I can't. I'm sorry James." I sighed. "I'm sorry. I guess... I guess I just have to live with it."

"Live with what?"

"Nothing. We should go up to the castle, then. If that's all you wanted to say?" James nodded slowly, as if he were being tortured. When we reached the common room, we went our separate ways, heading to our dorms then down to dinner. I avoided all of my teammates, er, former teammates, sitting with my friends as I normally did. My head was completely empty of thought, and I didn't join in any conversations, which seemed to concern Lily the most; she didn't say anything, however, just continuously shot me worried looks while she chatted with Olivia and Mira.

After dinner, however, I wasn't quite as fortunate. We were up in the dorms; I planned on an early bedtime tonight, if only to avoid everyone. Lily was preparing to patrol the castle as Head Girl; she was still aiming strange looks at me. I yawned, just about to jump onto my bed, when Lily spoke.

"You feeling alright? You seemed rather quiet at dinner."

I arranged my face into a placid expression. "Er, yeah, just thinking about practice."

"Oh... how was it? Practice, I mean? Learn any fancy new tricks?"

"No." I hesitated, wondering if I should tell her I'd been kicked off the team; after all, she, along with the rest of the school, would probably know soon enough anyways. "Er, I'm not on the team anymore." I jumped when something glass smashed, looking wildly around the room for the source. Lily, when I'd spoke, had dropped a vial of perfume in shock. She uttered a quick _reparo_ and refilled the vial, nearly breaking it again when she tossed it at her make-up bag.

"What do you mean? Did Potter kick you off?" she asked angrily, already turning for the stairs, presumably to give James a piece of her mind.

"No! Well, sort of, I guess. It wasn't really his decision... it was a team vote." Lily's mouth had dropped open.

"What? Why? After four years, you'd think you'd be invaluable to the team! Without you, they'll probably lose!"

I blushed and shrugged. "Oh, I'm not that great, Lily. We're a good team, that's all. They just think I've been acting a little weird. I guess they think my, er, 'attitude' will mess up the team. I think they're right, though. If we're not all on good terms, there's no way we'll win anyways."

Lily's face was turning pink, always a good indicator of anger. "They kicked you off because of your _attitude_? That's ridiculous! I know you've been acting very strange, but you certainly don't have an attitude, at least, not any more than you always do! If anyone's got an attitude, it's Black! And maybe O'hare, he's got an attitude too. But you? You've always had an attitude, and it's never been a problem before!"

I shrugged again, even though I silently agreed with her. "It's alright, Lily, really. It's not like it's that big a deal. I can live with it." Lily snorted. "I can! 'Snot like I've been kicked out of school or out into the streets or anything. It's just a Quidditch team." My insides squirmed a little as I realized just how much of a lie I was telling. I might be able to live with it, if only because it was my own damn fault for acting so weird and for having the inability to swallow my pride, but it was going to be torture, especially when I had to deal with my own stupidity. Quidditch was the one thing that completely put my mind at rest; everyone knew that because the only time Sirius and I didn't argue and fight incessantly was when we were on our brooms as teammates. Without it, my Slytherin blood probably really _would_ come out.

"Well... if you're sure it's alright. Really, though!" Lily fumed a little more, silently, but still looking like a raging wild fire. "Night, then."

"'Night."

To my great surprise, I fell asleep quite fast. If only I could say I stayed asleep.

***~~~***

"You know, Sirius, usually I'd be all for a great joke, a wonderful prank; but don't you think you're going a bit far? I know what she did was pretty bad—"

"Pretty bad?" Sirius exclaimed. "Pretty bad? Prongs, it was _worse_ than pretty bad! It was terrible! She turned me into a skunk! And not just a skunk, she turned me into a _hairless, asexual skunk_! It was inhumane!" He shivered emphatically, stressing the fact.

"Pads, I know, but don't you think this is going a little overboard? Really, it's almost bordering on cruel." James gave his friend an anxious look. "I won't do it. I might be your best mate, but she's like a sister if I ever had one."

Sirius scowled. "But Prongs—"

"No! If you really have to, ask Pete, or Remus. Remus'll probably feel the same way as me, but Pete might do it."

"But—"

"No, Pads! I already had to suspend her from Quidditch!" James shuddered. "Personally, I think that ought to be torturous enough."

Sirius was a little surprised by a twinge of guilt. If he'd been separated from Quidditch... he shook his head frantically. It was a thought too terrible to contemplate. "Fine, I'll ask Moony. And I'll lay off her... a little."

The two boys walked in silence up from dinner. As they approached the portrait of the Fat Lady, James spoke once again.

"You know, it was sort of funny. What she did, I mean." He shook his head. "I can't believe you were trying to force her to pretend to be your girlfriend. I mean, you _hate_ her, remember? Ever since first year? Just because she's a Gaunt and she's related to Salazar Slytherin? Nova Vita," he added, and the Fat Lady's portrait swung forward.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "She tried to lie about it, you know? To Terry and Silvia in the locker rooms."

"Well, duh. _I_ wouldn't want that getting around Gryffindor. You have no heart, Pads."

Another twinge of guilt shuddered through Sirius. "Thanks," he muttered sarcastically as they crawled through the portrait hole, only to be greeted by his favorite pain in the arse, Melanie Jordan.

"Sirius! There you are!" Melanie's hands were clasped together and she smiled at Sirius seductively, to which he responded with a roll of his eyes. "Poor Sirius, I heard about what that dreadful Gaunt did to you this morning! You poor baby!" She jumped at him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug.

"Get off," Sirius snapped, doing his best to slip from her grip. "You're like a bloody leech." Melanie stared at him with big eyes, false tears brimming. Sirius grimaced as another odd wave of guilt swept through him. "Er, don't cry, Mel, I didn't mean to yell." Sirius desperately looked around at James. 'Help me!' he mouthed wildly as Melanie smiled widely at him.

"Oh, okay, baby, I'll forgive you," she whispered. "But only on one condition..." Sirius grimaced and gave James a pleading look as she ran her hand down his side.

"Er, Sirius, we have to go, erm, finish up that transfiguration homework. You know how Remus gets when we don't finish our work on time." He laughed and grabbed Sirius' arm, pulling him away from Melanie and towards the boys' dormitory. "See you around, Melanie!"

Remus looked up from his book as the two crowded hastily through the door, pulling it closed after them, one of his eyebrows quirked in curiosity.

"You two look like you've just escaped from a stampeding herd of hippogriffs."

"What about hippogriffs?" Peter squeaked, appearing from under his bed.

"Not a hippogriff. I'd say more like a manticore, or maybe a dementor."

"Who are we talking about?" Remus asked James, wishing to get to the point so that he could get back to his book. "Artemis or Melanie?"

"Melanie. Jumped him at the portrait hole," James said as he headed for his bed.

"Ah." Remus nodded and returned to his book.

Sirius snorted. "She won't take a damn hint. I've told her to bugger off a thousand times, and she still hangs on to me like a bloody leech."

"I know, mate, I know," James muttered as Pete dove under his bed again. "Wormtail, what are you doing?"

"He's looking for his socks. And his shoes... and his tie. They seem to be missing," Remus answered, without looking up from his book. James rolled his eyes.

"Wasn't it his underwear last year?" Remus nodded. "Didn't ever find those, did we? Not that I really wanted to. I wonder where they ended up, though." Remus and Sirius both shrugged. Pete's underwear had gone on a wild rampage the previous year. Sirius had the sneaking suspicion that they were nested in the dungeons, under Slughorn's desk, but he honestly hoped that no one ever found them. He pitied anyone who did. "Aw, well."

"Hey, Moony, you up for a little prank?" Sirius asked, changing the subject. He really didn't like to discuss the subject of Peter's undergarments. Remus seemed to be slightly interested, as he slowly glanced up from his novel.

"What and on whom?"

"Guess," James commanded, giving Sirius an exasperated look. Sirius responded with a roll of his eyes.

"Artemis," Remus answered without hesitation. Sirius scowled and opened his mouth to explain. "No."

"What? Why not?"

"Well, I rather enjoy her company, and when your pranks involve her, they tend to be a bit, er, _cruel_."

"Come on, Moony, you sound like Prongs. What do you mean you enjoy her company? She's a bloody—"

"I mean that I like talking to her because, unlike you lot, she actually says intelligent things. She's quite smart. She even noticed that I'm not looking too well today..." Sirius interrupted him. Remus sighed.

"She's got it coming anyways, you saw what she did this morning."

"It seemed to me that _you_ had it coming. I can't believe you—"

"Alright, alright!" Sirius yelled, a little tired of all the lectures. "How 'bout you, Wormtail? Want to help me out?" Peter's head poked out from underneath his bed, his face glowing. He nodded emphatically before letting out a small shriek and being dragged back under the bed.

"That would be his tie," Remus said, once again returning to his book. James and Sirius both shrugged and started getting ready for bed.


	5. What a Nightmare

((A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed!! I appreciate feedback! And thanks also to everyone who has continued reading.))

((Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but I do own some chocolate milk! Yay, chocolate milk!))

Nothing of import happened again for the rest of the week, except perhaps my flaring temper almost taking out a poor bunch of first year girls when they laughed too loudly while I was doing my transfiguration. The days passed slowly, until Friday jumped on me, much to my immense relief. It wasn't going to be the best weekend of my Hogwarts school career, but it was still a weekend.

I was walking with Lily back to the common room after Arithmancy, numbers still running through my head like a raging river. Lily said something, but I didn't catch it. She sighed and gave me a glare.

"Are you going to Slughorn's party? I think you should, since your detention tomorrow is with him." I wrinkled my nose at her.

"Damn, I forgot. Not about the detention, about the party. Maybe I'll skip it. I doubt he'll notice I'm not there." Lily gave me a severe look. "Oh, come on Lily, it's just a dumb welcome back party. He can't be too upset. Besides, I've had the worst week of my life. I can't be expected to celebrate that, can I?" The look didn't fade; it did the opposite, in fact, deepening as we walked. After ten minutes of gallantly withstanding the Look, I sighed. "Oh, alright, fine, I'll go. If I have to."

"Good. I don't want to be the only Gryffindor girls seventh there. Especially since Potter's going." I rolled my eyes.

"Right, because being in the same room with him with none of us there would be absolute _torture_." The Look returned.

"Artemis, you act the same way about Black. It's the exact same thing, except Black doesn't confess undying love to you every time you see him." I almost gagged at the mental picture of Sirius on one knee before me. Like that would ever happen. "Black is going too." This time I did gag.

"Are you sure I can't just skip it?"

Lily rolled her eyes and passed me to enter the portrait hole. I followed her all the way to the dorms with a tortured look on my face, chucking my bag onto my bed. "It won't be that bad, Artemis. I'll keep Black away from you if you keep Potter away from me. Okay?" I sighed and nodded. "Great! Now, let's get ready! Mira can help us!" Mira gave us suspicious looks as she came into the room and heard her name. "Mira, can you do our nails? Professor Slughorn's party is tonight..."

"Oh, sure." Without another word, she hurried off to get her cosmetics and beautification products.

For the next couple hours, Mira and Lily and I fixed nails, hair, and skin, applying make-up and nail polish. As it had for the past six years, Mira's amazing fashion skills were like magic, transforming Lily and I into goddesses. Figuratively. Lily's red hair looked magnificent, curled elegantly over her shoulders, draped in bottle green dress robes, which brought out her brilliant green eyes. My own black hair was curled, though not nearly as elegantly, and my shimmering sapphire robes made my crystal blue eyes shine. Staring in the mirror, I was surprised that the woman reflected back was myself.

"Overdid it a little, don't you think?"

"It is formal, you know," Lily said, smiling at her own reflection. "I love it! Mira, you should pursue a career as a make-up and hair artist! You'd be absolutely wonderful!" Mira just smiled, but I could see how pleased she was. "If only you could do something about Potter's hair..."

I snorted. "Why are you worried about Potter's hair, Lily?" I asked jokingly.

She turned beet red. "I'm not! I don't care about Potter's hair! I don't care about Potter at all! He's so immature, messing up his hair all the time!"

I rolled my eyes. "Right, apologies." She took at deep breath and was instantly normal Lily again.

"Well then, shall we go down?"

Damn, she was scary. And yet I walked beside her as we went down to Slughorn's party, danced with her to the bouncy quick songs, sat and drank pumpkin juice with her during the slow songs. It was boring, uneventful. I wished greatly that Lily had let me miss the stupid thing, wished that she would just let me leave. We didn't see James or Sirius at all for the first half of the party. And then we did. And everything went terribly wrong.

***~~~***

"Oh, shit," Lily said suddenly, pushing herself behind me. "There's Potter; don't let him see me!" I rolled my eyes and turned my attention to James, who was indeed approaching at four o'clock. Lily let loose a feral snarl, which I responded to with an exasperated glance over my shoulder and a shake of my head. James came to a stop in front of me and suspicion rose.

"Hey Lily," James said, giving me a nod and smiling widely around me. I ignored the pair of them, dangerous since I was in between, but I was suddenly feeling quite anxious. Where was Sirius? Shouldn't he have been with James?

I didn't really catch what Lily said, but James shook his head frantically. "Of course not! I, er, I'm leaving your undergarments on." My mouth dropped open. What a time to come into a conversation. Lily's face turned red and I ducked out from between them as she pulled out her wand.

"Okay, you two, calm down; there's no need for a blood bath," I said, backing away slowly. Lily gave me a scathing look; James, looking past me, gave me a horrified one. He lurched toward me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me in the other direction and ignoring Lily's shocked expression as he said something about pumpkin juice. "Er, James, what are we doing?" I asked, glancing back and catching irritation and anxiety flit across Lily's red face.

"I just told you, we're getting some juice. Just come on, I'll tell you later," he groaned, pulling harder.

"But what about Lily?" James paused, looking back at Lily with a tortured expression.

"I just, er, I really feel bad for kicking you off the team. We've got that third year, Henry Piffle, filling your spot; he's absolutely dreadful! Please, Artemis, please? Just tell me what going on with you? You can come back on the team, and we'll win the cup, and everything will be good! What do you say, Artemis?" He looked anxiously over my shoulder, then over his own.

"You sure that's all that's bothering you, James? You seem on edge, mate."

James shifted nervously, giving his feet an uneasy look. "I'm fine, really, don't worry 'bout me." He messed up his hair like he always did, pushing his glasses up his nose. "You, er, you haven't seen Sirius, have you? No, 'course you haven't, forget I asked. Just, er, just avoid him tonight, okay? Don't pick a fight." I gave him a confused look while he smiled widely at me. "I'm going to go back and find Lily; I'll see you later, Artemis." He waved jovially and headed back the way we came, but I remained where I was, feeling again that deep sense of dread. What could Sirius have planned for me that had made James so jittery? I shivered and glanced around me warily; there was still no sign of him. I made my way towards the door, but paused when my name was called, fearing that I might see Sirius waiting for me.

"Ms. Gaunt!" Slughorn called, his mustache twitching as he approached me. "So glad to see that you could make it! I trust you had a pleasant summer?"

By this time, he was right next to me; he gave me a smile. "Oh, uh, yes. I spent most of it with my family."

"Ah, yes; Mr. Gaunt is around here somewhere with Mr. Buttles. He's told me all about how you aspire to travel the world and study magical creatures!" I blushed; that was just like my brother. He'd always made fun of me for my never ceasing curiosity. I'd always been the one who came home muddy and scraped when we were younger; I'd chased all the bugs around our yard while our mother laughed. He thought that I was being ridiculous and he wanted to do something more "reasonable." He had decided that he was going to be a journalist for the _Daily Prophet_ when we got out of Hogwarts.

"Erm, yes?" I replied. Slughorn was giving me a slightly disappointed look; I wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to get away from me or because he was ashamed that I was going to study magical creatures instead of become a potions master like himself. "I've always been quite interested in magical creatures and plants, ever since I was a kid..."

"Ah, yes, yes, of course! It makes perfect sense, dear girl. But I must point out that you have great skills in other, more core areas—" I cringed visibly and Slughorn paused. "Is something the matter, Ms. Gaunt? You look like you've seen a ghost," he chuckled, but I just nodded. I hadn't seen a ghost, but I'd seen Sirius.

"I, um, I'm not feeling well, Professor. I think I should head to my dorm and get some sleep so I can be, er, nice and rested for my detention tomorrow morning." Slughorn quirked his eyebrow at me, but nodded.

"Yes, well, then, I'll see you in the morning."

I nodded and once again made a beeline for the door, but for the second time I paused at the sound of my name, closing my eyes in horror at the sound of Patton Lexing's voice. I swallowed and slowly turned to see him standing right behind me. I gave him a questioning look, not trusting myself to talk with all the emotions running through my veins. He gave me a small smile and I smiled back, waiting for him to say something.

And that was when it happened. I realized what was happening a split second before it did; my mind screamed, "_trap!_" at me seconds beforehand. One minute, Patton was smiling, and the next, he, along with the rest of the room, was almost screaming with laughter. The horror flooded through me and I turned and sprinted from the room.

You know those dreams where you somehow go to school in your underwear and you never realize it until you're there and everyone's laughing at you? I'd never had any nightmares like those before, but these days they're much too vivid.

And just to make it official: _Worst_ week of my life.

***~~~***

Sirius groaned as he rubbed the back of his head; James rolled his eyes and smacked him upside the head for the seventy-first time in the past half-hour. Lily had only just finished yelling at him; her voice was almost hoarse as she stomped out of the portrait hole to join Mira and Olivia in their futile search for Artemis. Now Sirius and Pete sat side-by-side, sharing the pain as James alternated which he hit. Every time he made a statement he would smack one of the two, and every time he went silent he would smack the other. Remus didn't say a thing, just sat and watched with a disapproving look on his face.

"I can't believe you guys actually went through with it!" James yelled, slapping Peter upside the cranium. Peter winced and whimpered pathetically. "Did you guys even stop to think about what you were doing?" He went silent, awaiting the answer as he smacked Sirius.

"Would you stop that, mate?" Sirius muttered, glaring at the floor. "It's giving me a bloody headache."

James snorted. "Oh, a _headache_? I'm sorry, Sirius; you must be in such terrible pain! Now multiply it by about a trillion and you'll have the complete humiliation and suffering that Artemis is going to experience come Monday! Hell, come _tomorrow_!" He slapped them both again.

"I'm sorry, James, I'm sorry!" Pete whined, covering his head with his hands. James glared at him and he went silent.

"What do you think, Remus? How much detention should I give them?"

Remus gave James a look that said, in a very clear way, "a lot." Sirius gaped at James.

"Detention? Come on, James! You know it was just payback."

"True. So it had to be just as bad as what she did, right?" James glanced back at Remus, who nodded, and then back to Pete and Sirius, who both were staring at James in stunned silence, hardly daring to believe that their friend was about to issue them a detention. "So it's only fair that you get as many as she did. Four, right?" James gave them an apologetic look. "I know you guys aren't happy with me, but you know you both deserve it. And you can bet that Lexing will get as much as you. McGonagall will let you know what it is and when it is." Concluding with his Head Boy duties, James reverted back to best friend mode, though admittedly it was not as good a position as it usually was. Sirius glared at him. James sighed. "I'll admit that it was kind of funny, and she's really got nothing to be ashamed of." Sirius flushed dark red, which James happened to notice. He smiled. "You know, it probably won't even be as devastating as we expect. She'll probably just get more dates, or at least more invitations into the broom cupboard."

"Shut up!" Sirius growled, his face growing darker, although James couldn't tell if it was because he was realizing that he was the color of an overripe tomato or because the thought infuriated him. In fact, Sirius wasn't sure either. Remus raised his brow, seeming to catch on to James' plot.

"You know, I agree. I know that plenty of guys at Hogwarts would probably pay to shag her."

"_I'd _pay to shag her," Pete put in. Sirius rewarded him with a punch in the face, splitting his lip.

"You guys are sick," he snapped, jumping off his chair and stomping up to the boys' dorms. James, Pete, and Remus stared after him; James and Remus had amused expressions, but Pete was just confused.

"So, do my socks eat meat or lettuce?"

"Lettuce," Remus clarified.

***~~~***

I paced back and forth in front of the many mirrors in the room that I'd found; in the room, I'd also found some comfy jeans, a t-shirt, and a bed, all of which I intended to use. I'd changed into the fresh and casual clothing, and was dabbing furiously at my tearful eyes, cursing emotions to hell. Of course, I understood what had happened. Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, while Patton Lexing distracted me, had snuck up behind me and charmed my dress robes invisible, leaving me standing only in visible undergarments. That was something that Sirius and I had grown used to: whenever one of us pranked the other, revenge was a given. I'd embarrassed him; now he'd humiliated me. I'd expected it, but for some reason, it had seemed so horrible.

But there was no way in hell I was going to let him know that. As soon as I managed to dry my eyes and recover from the event, I would leave the Room of Requirement. I would pretend that nothing had happened, that I hadn't run up to the Room of Requirement crying, and then perhaps everything would return to normal.

I pushed my face into the fluffy pillow on the bed, breathing deeply and calmly and trying to decipher my strange feelings. What the hell was wrong with me? I was almost beginning to think that I was going insane. All of our jokes, our pranks, seemed to be becoming more personal; before this year, it had all seemed so superficial. All of the insults that we exchanged these days were starting to hit harder and dig deeper. What was changing in me that was making me feel so strongly all of a sudden? It was as if my entire world was morphing into something strange and new, and I didn't understand it anymore.

But then, I suppose it was entirely my fault. If I hadn't boasted that I could live without a boyfriend, hadn't sworn myself off guys, didn't hear voices in my head that were trying to kill me, maybe I would still be on the Quidditch team, still be at Slughorn's party with Patton, who was admittedly attractive and really rather smart. Although, on second thought, the blame was also on everyone else, except maybe Lily. It was Melanie's fault for taunting me with my own virginity; Sirius' fault, just for being an arse; and even Mira and Olivia's, for letting me say such stupid stuff. My pride might have started it, but everyone else was just letting it happen. And now my life was falling into chaos and I was leaving a trail of debris behind me.

And I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to scream my lungs out, scream until my throat was bleeding and I couldn't talk anymore. I almost did, but I controlled myself and all that came out was a strange squeak that sounded like a mouse that had just been trodden on. I pushed my face further into my pillow and flushed in shame at the weak sound; had anyone else heard it, I probably would have died of embarrassment.

I lay in the cushy bed for what seemed like a short time, but was actually a few hours, until I realized that I should go back to the common room before curfew kicked in and I was stuck here. I dragged myself out of the bed and gathered myself at the door, taking some more deep breaths and assuring myself that I was definitely in control of myself. I opened the door and almost slammed it shut again.

Sirius was standing in the doorway with a very annoyed look on his face; James stood behind him, wearing a look of relief. I scowled.

"Get out of the way."

Sirius tried, but he and James were the same size; James held him in place, gripping his shoulder and giving him a scathing look, which he responded to with a frustrated growl.

"Sirius has something he wants to say to you, don't you, Sirius?" Sirius just glared at him; James rolled his eyes and kicked Sirius's shin. "Go on."

Sirius clenched his jaw together, breathing heavily through his teeth. "Sorry," he hissed. I stared at him, and then rolled my eyes when the shock wore off.

"Now say it like you mean it," I muttered. Sirius growled and I pushed past the two boys. "I was just joking."

I heard a smack and a small gasp behind me, and then the boys were caught up with me. "Don't you want to know what I'm sorry for?" I stopped and they were past me before they even realized it. They both looked around at me simultaneously as I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"Not unless you've done something else since you exposed me to half the school. Something like stringing my undergarments across the Great Hall, giving my diary to the Slytherins, started telling everyone that you haven't already told my deepest, darkest secrets, or something else equally humiliating. Otherwise, I really don't care."

James and Sirius exchanging surprised looks. "Er, okay?" Sirius said cautiously. I rolled my eyes and walked past them again, and they followed close behind just like before. They were whispering quietly to each other, most likely about me. We were nearly to the common room when Lily found us. She gave the two boys a malicious look that belonged more on the face of a Slytherin or You-Know-Who than Gryffindor's Head Girl. I smiled at her reassuringly as she stalked towards us, her dark look just growing darker. She ignored the two of them, except for the scathing look, and linked her arm with mine.

"There you are, Artemis! Where've you been? We've been looking for you for hours! Mira's been out of her mind with worry." She glared back at Sirius as we entered the portrait hole. "I promise you, Black, Lexing, and Pettigrew are going to be severely punished! When McGonagall hears, she'll—"

"Lily, it's fine! Just calm down," I interrupted, grimacing when she turned the contemptuous look on me. "Really, Lily, it's okay," I insisted, raising my hands in front of me just in case. "We've dealt with it; I'm over it anyways." Lily gave me a skeptical look and glanced back at the guys again.

"What did you two do?" she accused. Sirius responded with a glare; James waved his hands in front of his chest, as if he could protect himself.

"N-nothing! I made Sirius apologize!"

Lily's face went blank as she stared at him, mouth slightly agape; she looked as if she couldn't believe that James would do something like that for me. James face slowly turned red.

"You okay, Lily?" I asked, rolling my eyes at her. "Maybe James should give you mouth-to-mouth?" James looked at her hopefully, but my suggestion seemed to wake Lily from her reverie. She hissed and glared at me and pulled me towards the girls' staircase.

"That's not funny!" she snapped when we reached the dormitory. "You just cruelly tempting him with something he'll never have." I rolled my eyes; Melanie, who reclining on her bed and reading a book, which in itself was extremely unusual as she never even bothered much with her homework, was almost immediately across the room next to us.

"Who?" she said simply. I glared at her.

"James Potter, of course! Who else?" Lily replied. Melanie raised her eyebrow at me, smirking a little.

"Gaunt likes Potter?"

I snorted at the same time Lily did. "Actually, I was talking about me," Lily clarified. "Potter surprised me and Artemis suggested that he give me mouth-to-mouth, which we all know will never _ever_ happen!" I rolled my eyes at her.

"You make it sound so much worse than it would be," I muttered, though I worried that she'd turn it on me using Sirius in place of James. My fears were confirmed, but it was not Lily that turned it on me.

"Please, Gaunt! You're such a hypocrite! You'd act the same way if we were talking about Sirius! Speaking of Sirius, I'm disappointed that I missed his little prank earlier; I heard you wear such plain underwear, Gaunt! No lacy thongs or bras or anything even remotely attractive. I can't imagine a reason why anyone would want to be with you now!" I flushed and Melanie smirked wider. "I wish I could have seen the look on your face when you realized you weren't wearing any clothes!"

I ground my teeth together. "To be technical, I _was _wearing clothes; they were just invisible. And in a way, Sirius did me a favor, if what you say is true. Maybe now I won't have to deal with a bunch of stupid guys, hm?" Melanie just sneered at me. "Whatever. I'm going to bed."

Lily nodded as Mira and Olivia entered the dorms. I just waved at the two and headed for my four-poster to let them know I wasn't talking anymore. Mira gave me a look that told me that she expected the story later, but Olivia just shrugged and went towards her own bed. "Don't forget you've got detention tomorrow."

"Like I would." And so went my week of hell. Shame it wasn't over yet.


	6. Just a Bit of Regret

((A/N: Whee!!! Chapter six, reporting for duty! Thanks again to all reviewers and 'course to all you fabulous devoted readers! It's always nice to hear a bit of constructive criticism, or just to hear your thoughts on the plot, so don't forget to review!))

((Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything in it, but I did just finish re-reading the series!))

The next morning's breakfast was nearly one hundred thousand times worse than Melanie's taunting. There were outbreaks of giggles and teasing from the moment I entered the Great Hall. They escalated throughout the day so that by lunch, no one was trying to hide it anymore. People laughed, and the Slytherins, with my twin Apollo as the only possible exception, laughed loudest of all. Every time I turned a corner, my temper blazed violently, nearly out of control as people laughed and made catcalls at me. By three o'clock, I was relieved that I had detention, even if it was in the dungeons with Slughorn, Slytherin head.

I hiked my way down to the potions classroom, where Slughorn was waiting with a few barrels of violet slug-like things, which were slimy and, slightly disturbingly, moving. I grimaced at the barrels of Lithuanian Vellugs. The Vellugs were poisonous, but the parts of them required for potions were not; this explained why first and second years could not prepare them. However, they were absolutely disgusting, and I was astounded and positively horrified by the unusual size of these particular Vellugs.

Speaking of unusual sizes, the voluminous Professor Slughorn was sitting at his desk, looking entranced as he stared across the room. I followed his gaze, but there was nothing there but the wall; so I shrugged and strode to the professor's desk.

"Good afternoon, Professor."

"Ah, yes, there you are, Ms. Gaunt. Take a seat, take a seat while we wait for Mr. Black."

I automatically gagged, then started coughing. Slughorn gave me a concerned look and began to raise himself from his chair, but I motioned him back and took a seat myself as I recovered. "Bl-Black, sir?" I asked weakly.

"Yes, yes, Mr. Black will be joining us today. Ah, speak of the devil, and he will come! There you are, Mr. Black! Come, come, take a seat!" Sirius grimaced, first at the Vellugs, then at me. I just glared at him as he sat next to me. His scent hit me in a wave seconds later. "Now that both of you are here, I will tell you what you will be doing today. I'm sure that you both noticed these fine specimen of Vellugs, hm?" I nodded and turned my glare to the violet creatures in the barrels. "As I'm sure you've been taught, Vellugs are very toxic; they can kill you if you touch or ingest them. You were both first years once; I'm sure you'll understand when I say that first years are not always the brightest of the lot." A small smile graced Sirius' lips as the three of them considered the trouble that first years could get into. "As such, the pair of you will be working together to dissect them. We need the hearts, the venenum sacs, and the eyes; yes, Ms. Gaunt, the eyes. So hop to it, now! The sooner you finish, the sooner you can leave; mind, do a good job of it! Use your dragon hide gloves, and good lord, Mr. Black, don't try to sneak any away!"

With those final instructions, he exited, to his office I expected.

"Damn," Sirius said after an awkward minute.

"Damn," I agreed.

We sat in immensely uncomfortable silence for a measure of minutes until we both moved to start to work. As I neared the barrel, Sirius went the opposite way, to the wall to look at some strange object floating in a jar. I rolled my eyes at his back, and then almost fainted as the smell of the Vellugs hit me; as it was, I couldn't help but gag and curse again. They smelled like an unsettling amount of dirty gym socks, rotten eggs, and _very _filthy sewer water. Their slimy hides glinted in the dim torchlight. I was about to pull on my dragon hide gloves when an absurd urge to touch the vile creatures swept through me. The strange voice, which had been missing for a while, resurfaced in my consciousness.

_Touch it!_ The voice hissed. _Touch it! Do it now, while Sirius isn't looking..._

My hands moved, even though I willed them not to, and my dragon hide gloves fell to the floor. A complete calm filled me the closer I got to the Vellugs. A crazy sense of joy pervaded my mind. My arms were outstretched towards the venomous barrels.

"Artemis!" I snapped out of my trance-like state as Sirius reached around me and grabbed my hands with his own. I jerked backwards, away from the barrels, in horror and confusion, only to ram into Sirius and knock the wind out of him. "Son of a—"

"Bitch," I finished for him as cowered against his warm, muscled chest. The feelings of calm and joy were long gone, replaced by terror and fury; I was absolutely sure that I didn't want to kill myself, but for some reason my body kept trying to make me. However, these thoughts were driven out of my mind seconds later when I realized that Sirius was still gripping my hands, his chest pressed firmly against my back. A flush crept up my neck and into my cheeks as I noticed these facts, and my heart and breathing sped up considerably regardless of the fact that I attempted to control them. The fluttery feeling of my stomach was back. I shook my head frantically, striving to rid my brain of these thoughts and succeeding only in bashing our heads together. "Son of a—"

"Bitch," he finished for me. He released my hands as if they burned him and held his head where it had banged against mine. I did the same, clutching the back of my skull as if it were about to fall off. That same silence as before prevailed, albeit quite a bit more uncomfortable, as I turned to face him. He stared at me with a peculiar look on his face, his eyes remained on my face for the duration of approximately five minutes, before they traveled up and down my body, giving me a once over before returning his gray eyes to my face. He had just opened his mouth to say something when Slughorn re-entered the room.

"What's this? Not even started? Come now, come, don't tell me you two big, bad seventh years are afraid a few Vellugs? Let's go now, get to work!"

Sirius continued to stare at me for a few seconds more, and me at him; I wondered if he would say something to Slughorn, but he didn't. Instead, he pulled on his gloves, still gazing steadily at me as I stooped to pick up my own, and we started to work dissecting the poor Vellugs.

A few hours of repulsive dissection later, Sirius still hadn't said a word about the incident. His behavior was confusing me, though I suppose the fact that we hadn't been left alone since then hindered him slightly. Even after we had finished, and were headed back to the common room, smelling of Vellugs, we never had a minute completely to ourselves; someone was always right around the corner. Once we got back to the common room, he looked like he wanted to say something, but before he could get a word out, he was tackled by an anxious looking James, and I was not-so-tackled by an equally anxious looking Mira. I kept wondering if he would tell James, tell McGonagall, tell anyone as the day wore into night and the night turned into Sunday. While everyone but the most laid back of the Gryffindors worked studiously on their homework, Sirius kept shooting me nervous glances, even while Melanie clung to his arm and tried to get him to talk to her. I labored over my Charms book, occasionally sneaking glances at him too, wondering if he would confront me or if I should confront him. Finally, I was so irritated by the fact that I was getting nowhere in my Charms that I slammed the book shut and stormed up the stairs to my dorm, shoved my book into my bag, and went to bed early.

The next morning, everyone seemed very antsy, watching me and Sirius very carefully. James and Lily seemed especially watchful. Finally, Lily decided that she was going to breach the subject, even going so far as to let James sit next to her during the conversation. This gave me the impression that, unlikely as it was, it was a team effort.

"Artemis, is everything okay?"

I just nodded in response.

"Are you sure?" James asked, putting his elbows on the table and leaning forward, only to be hit by Lily for lousy table manners.

I nodded again.

"You and Sirius haven't fought in a while," he stated, giving his best mate a look a ways down the table.

I shrugged. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Well, yes, but..." Lily paused and gave me one of those suspicious looks that made her such a great Head Girl. It was one of those looks that said that she knew you knew she knew you were lying, and if you didn't tell her the truth, you'd end up in a load of trouble. I scowled.

"I'm fine. Really. Nothing's going on, and I don't know why you guys are complaining. Everything will go back to normal when it goes back to normal, so just let it be."

Lily and James both stared, but neither could respond, so James headed off to interrogate Sirius and Lily just ate some more toast.

And just like I predicted, life went back to normal, more or less. Sirius and I began arguing again, much to all our friends' relief.

However, not to my relief, guys started asking me out again. I turned all of them down, but for some reason, the more I turned down, the more asked and the more frustrated I got with them. As my temper began sparking wildly, catching flame to any object within earshot, many guys seemed to take pleasure in stalking me down halls, insisting that I have lunch with them and their friends, or that I go with them on the Hogsmeade trip scheduled for early October, still a ways away. By the next Saturday's detention, this time helping Hagrid tend to the school gardens (which seemed to me a lot better than dissecting Vellugs), I was ready to take off the head of the next boy who happened to ask me a question. Really that was very unfortunate for both Sirius, who was again serving detention with me for some strange reason, and Patton Lexing, who was joining us. Sirius wisely stayed his distance, tending carefully to the large pumpkins that would be used at Halloween under Hagrid's watchful eye; Lexing, however, saw fit to sneak closer and closer to me while he thought I wasn't looking.

When he was finally right next to me, Patton said, "Hey, Gaunt."

I slowly turned to look at him, noticing vaguely that both Hagrid and Sirius were watching me with fearful looks. Patton, though, had a cocky grin on his face. I gave him a warning look, trying to tell him that I wasn't in the mood for crap, but he didn't take the hint. "Yes, Lexing?" I growled.

"Need any help?"

"No." His smile faltered slightly, but it returned within seconds. I returned my attention to the weeds that I was currently picking, attempting to ignore him.

"Well, you know," he muttered, leaning closer to me so that our arms and legs touched, "I'm a very good gardener... because I have a nice," he moved his hand up my leg, "gentle," he moved it to the small of my back and leaned closer again, "touch." His lips brushed against my ear and I snapped, landing a solid punch on his nose. I shook my hand from the shock of the impact, realizing that Patton's nose was now bleeding and slightly crooked.

Oops?

***~~~***

Sirius watched as Artemis struck Lexing with a solid blow, leaving the boy's nose visibly broken. Sirius stared in awe as, in a weird sort of slow motion, Lexing stumbled backwards, tripping over some tangled vines and falling on his bum while cradling his busted nose.

Sirius was impressed. And perhaps surprised that Artemis had never turned her great strength on him, especially since he was usually the source of her irritation. Sirius was also very pleased that Lexing had finally gotten a bit of what he deserved. In fact, he almost wished that he'd been the one to deliver the blow. He may have used the guy to get back at Artemis, but he rather despised him. Maybe he'd hit Lexing later.

Hagrid rushed to Lexing's side, commanding him to lower his hands so that Hagrid could assess the damage. Meanwhile, Artemis had returned to her work, squatting in the dirt and weeding the bean patch; she completely ignored the happenings around her. Once again, Sirius was impressed. Her flaring temper, he thought, was quite remarkable and utterly unpredictable. She would snap and kill someone, and then she would seem completely calm, as if nothing had happened. For some reason, Sirius was beginning to find her attitude... _attractive_.

He shook his head frantically, and noticed that Lexing had lowered his hands after much coaxing from Hagrid.

"Broken. Come on then, Mr. Lexing, off to the hospital wing with yeh. Madam Pomfrey will fix yeh up in no time." He looked back at Sirius and Artemis. "Yeh two keep working. When I come back, I want this garden weedless, yeh understand?" He and Lexing headed over the grounds towards the front door, leaving Sirius alone with Artemis for the first time in a week.

"Hey, Gaunt?" Sirius said, eager to say what he had to before someone else interrupted their private conversation, though he was still a little dazzled by the previous events. He'd wanted to talk to her all week, but he hadn't had a chance because classmates and teachers always surrounded them. Now that he had her alone, he had his chance.

Artemis didn't even look up. She looked as if she was concentrating only on her weeding, but she obviously wasn't; her hands had stopped and she now sat stone still. Sirius sighed and crept closer, though not within striking distance. Unlike Lexing, he learned from mistakes. If Artemis was in a bad mood, he had no intention of having his own nose broken.

"Gaunt? We need to talk about something." Still no response. Sirius glared at the impassive woman before him. Something told him that she was trying to bring him closer to her, probably so that she could hit him. Even though he knew it was most likely a trap, Sirius took a few more steps and came to a stop about a foot away from her figure. He knelt down, watching carefully for any sign that she was about to launch a surprise attack. When no such sign was given, he relaxed slightly on his haunches. "You listening? We need to talk about... what happened last week."

Slowly, Artemis turned her face up to him. "What about it?" she asked in a dull tone. Sirius was caught off guard; he had expected her to deny that anything had happened, to deny that she had tried to do herself in. The lack of any emotion or refutation surprised him. He took a minute to collect himself before continuing.

"I want you to tell me why you were trying to kill yourself." Once again, the lack of emotion in her expression frightened Sirius; however, her response frightened him even more.

"I don't know." Yet again, Sirius was thrown off track.

"You don't know?" he asked skeptically. Artemis just shrugged. "How can you not know? How can you just—" He stopped mid-sentence, too confused by her answer to carry on. He looked at her motionless hands to rid himself of the sight of her expressionless face. The hands made it worse though, because they brought the memory of the previous Saturday and reminded him of how perfectly Artemis had felt wrapped in his arms. His heart rate quickened, and he quickly returned his gaze to her sharp blue eyes.

Artemis took advantage of his silence to ask her own question. "Have you told anyone else?" Sirius shook his head slowly. "Are you going to?"

Sirius grimaced. "You know, everyone thinks you're depressed. James and Lily are worried sick about you, and so is everyone else. You've got people to talk to if—"

"I'm not depressed," she snapped. "I'm just... confused. I don't know right now, but when I figure it out and if you need to know about it, I'll tell you. I don't know why the hell everyone has to nag me. I don't... it's just none of their business." She stood up and turned away; she walked over to the pumpkins that Sirius had just left. Sirius followed behind, though he kept his distance.

"It is their business. They care about you, and they don't want you to... they want you to be safe."

"So are you going to tell them?" Sirius grimaced again. He knew that he should tell someone, but for some reason he got the feeling that he should keep it to himself. He hadn't told anyone and he had no intention of telling anyone, but was it wise to tell that to someone who, regardless of what she said, was possibly depressed and suicidal? He ignored the question again, and Artemis seemed to realize that he wasn't going to answer. She shook her head at him in emphatic exasperation and examined the pumpkins.

"You miss Quidditch, don't you." It was a statement of fact, and they both knew it. Sirius felt guilt tickling his chest as she slowly nodded. They were both silent for a time, during which Artemis knelt down next to the pumpkins and began stroking them quietly, brushing dirt from the sides and giving them disapproving looks.

"He's been using magic on these..."

"The first game is in October," he interrupted suddenly, giving Artemis' back and rear end a quick look over, as they were currently the only things he could see of her, or so he argued to himself. "We'll probably lose."

"Well, now, where's you're cocky attitude gone, Black?" Artemis asked, straightening, folding her arms, and giving him a raised-eyebrow look. "Piffle can't be that bad."

Sirius shrugged. "Don't get too big a head, Gaunt. We're just not as good a team."

"Too much testosterone," Artemis said matter-of-factly. She moved on in the garden to where Hagrid was growing lettuce.

"That's not—" he paused. "Well, maybe," he admitted after a minute. Artemis smiled. "You're a way better chaser than him though." Sirius paused again, realizing he'd just given her a compliment. Her smiled widened a little, but other than that there was no sign that she'd noticed the compliment. "We wish you'd come back."

She snorted at him and he glared at her. "Please; if everyone wanted me back, I'd be back."

"Well... James and Wes and I want you back. That's half the team, so technically..."

Artemis gave him a suspicious look. "Right. I'll believe you when James tells me I'm back on the team. Until then, you'll have to deal with Piffle. Good luck," she said a bit sarcastically, with a sunny smile. She left the lettuce for the potatoes, leaving Sirius staring after her in a perpetual state of confusion.

Hours later, after dinner had been eaten and everyone was in the common room relaxing, Sirius was still confused. James and Remus were playing wizard chess, looking bored out of their minds while Peter watched in fascination as Remus' knight destroyed one of James' rooks. James cursed and looked at Sirius, who was sitting in the chair next to him and staring at the chessboard as if he was in a trance.

"See any good moves, mate?" James asked, giving him a concerned look. "You seem out of it. Those detentions getting to you?"

Sirius jerked as if he'd been shocked, looking at James with a flabbergasted look. "What?" he asked, scratching the back of his head to emphasize his question. Remus joined James in shooting Sirius anxious expressions.

"Everything all right, Pads?" Remus asked, even as he prodded his queen towards James' queen. "You seem out of sorts."

Sirius shook his head. "Just thinking." He looked back at the board, where Remus' queen was demolishing James'.

"About?" James inquired, retaliating by destroying Remus' rook with his bishop.

"Nothing," Sirius lied. James smiled as Remus destroyed his king.

"So, Artemis, then." Sirius scowled at him.

"Checkmate," Remus muttered as Peter cheered.

"I was just thinking about Quidditch."

"So, Artemis, then," James repeated. Sirius was about to make a scathing remark when he saw a flash of sleek brown hair and brown eyes shining with evil crimson light.

"Shit, I'm out of here!" he yelped, jumping up and near running towards the boys' staircase as Melanie appeared by his chair.

"Where's Sirius going?" she asked James. Her eyes sparkled with tears as they stalked Sirius to the stairs.

"He's tired," James muttered, only now noticing that he'd lost the game and giving the board a disappointed look.

"And sick," Remus added.

"Tired and sick," Pete put in.

Melanie pouted, her brown eyes, which had absolutely no crimson in them, turning towards Artemis as she searched for someone to blame for Sirius' disappearance. "I see."

She left the boys to their own devices, which actually meant left them to clean up their game and follow Sirius up to their dormitory, where Jon and Wes were giving Sirius alarmed looks as he paced back and forth, nearly stomping holes through the floor. As Sirius' fellow Marauders entered the room, the other two boys turned their questioning looks to them.

"Melanie Jordan," James said, heading with his injured chess set to his trunk, where he tossed his pieces carelessly into it. Jon just nodded in response, but Wes burst out laughing.

"I don't get you, Sirius! The hottest girl in Gryffindor wants to go out with you, and you're _hiding from her_!" Both Sirius and James glared at him scathingly.

"She is _not_ the hottest girl in Gryffindor," they said simultaneously.

"Right, sorry. The hottest girl in _Hogwarts_ wants to go out with you." James growled a little.

"She is _not_—"

"Yeah, yeah, Lily's the hottest," he complied quickly. "What I mean is, Sirius has one of the hottest girls in history trailing him and he doesn't want her!" James continued to grumble, but he didn't respond. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"She might be hot, but she's annoying and clingy and dependent. I tried going out with her, remember? I hated every minute of it." Sirius scowled as Wes started mimicking him.

"Sirius, I swear, if you were any more picky when it came to girls, I'd think you had no interest in them. That one's too stupid; that one's too clingy! That one's too fat; that one's too skinny! Just _pick one_, mate. It's not that hard!"

"Shut up, Wes," Jon said, glaring at his best friend. "You've dated as many girls as he has." The two began to bicker, a usual occurrence in the boys' seventh dorm. The Marauders rolled their eyes as one.

"So what were you going to say about Artemis, Sirius?"

Instant silence. Sirius glared at James. "I said _Quidditch_, James, not _Artemis_."

"Same thing."

"No it isn't! Quidditch involves broomsticks and balls and hoops and... James!" James smiled in amusement. Sirius' face grew warm. "If your mind's going to be in the gutter, keep Artemis and me out of it, or at least _separate_!" James got a dreamy look on his face. "James!"

James rolled his eyes at his best mate, doing a belly flop onto his four-poster. "But Sirius, you _know_ you—"

"I was going to say that we should put Artemis back on the team!" Sirius yelled over James' accusation. Another silence ensued as the guys all stared at Sirius in shock.

"But Sirius," Wes declared finally, "you're the one who wanted her off most."

"Yeah, well, we need her. Piffle is a terrible, ball-hogging git. She's a good teammate. We're gonna lose without her, and we all know it." When no one replied, Sirius swallowed and continued. "I'm willing to give up my pride if it means we'll win our first match."

The other five boys nodded in agreement, but still no one said anything. Sirius rolled his eyes and jumped onto his own bed. Finally James replied.

"We'll have to have a team vote again." Sirius nodded. "You'll have to un-convince Silvia, Terry, and Mike that Artemis is evil. They're still afraid that she's gonna attack them in their beds."

"We weren't that gullible in our younger years, were we?" Sirius asked, shaking his head at the appalling stupidity of the younger teammates.

"I wasn't," Jon said, "but I can't say the same for you five."

Sirius threw his pillow at him.


	7. Something New, Something Scandalous

((A/N: Thanks to all who have reviewed and to all who have continued to read like the beautiful people that you are! Anyways, reviews are always welcome! And now, on with the story!))

((Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I would be rich and you would know who I was!))

_Cut, cut, cut_, the voice repeated over and over in my head as Mira cut, cut, cut my long, but soon to be short, black hair. However, I was under the impression that voice had a different cut in mind than that of my hair. Mira sighed as she snipped off another long lock of hair.

"You always let your hair get so long over summer, Ar."

I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out at her reflection in the mirror. "That's because I _like_ _it_ that way."

"You just don't realize how much cuter it looks short! And your hair grows so fast; it's to your waist by the time school starts again. I like it much better chin length!"

"I bet you'd like you're hair chin length better," I muttered, scowling as another lock fell to the bathroom floor.

"I tried that, but my hair's too thick. It puffs up and I look like at big puffball, kind of like Gretchen's cat. Yours is thin enough that it makes you look beautiful!" I rolled my eyes at the mention of Gretchen's cat, which did indeed look like a puffball. Gretchen was a fourth year, and she brought her cat to school with her, where it prowled around, looking like a large dust bunny that the house elves in the kitchens had forgotten to sweep up. I had a sneaking suspicion that Gretchen made her cat look that way on purpose.

This was the yearly, well, tradition; I suppose you could call it tradition. For the first three weeks of school, ever since first year when we first met, Mira would nag and nag about my long black hair, which reached nearly to my hips. After three weeks of enduring the constant nagging, I would finally yield to her desire to cut it; she would happily do it herself, cutting my waist length hair right to my chin while I griped about it. First year's haircut had been the worst; Mira had nearly took my head off with her scissors, which had caused Sirius great amusement, of course. Madam Pomfrey had fixed my hair easily and sent me off to class. Second year, I had been very reluctant to let her shear my hair off again, but it wasn't nearly as bad as first year. It actually looked pretty good. As the years wore on, the haircut became an annual thing; I even let her trim and style it starting fourth year. Now, we were in the middle of our last annual haircut, which probably wouldn't really be the last, but we called it that anyway.

I scowled again as Mira finished up and the voice in my head scowled with me, albeit for a different reason. "Done?" I asked, looking at the mirror with a sour expression.

"Yup! This is my best one yet! Let me go get my camera!" she exclaimed, running out of the bathroom. I sighed and examined my new hair with a critical eye. It was indeed the best cut she'd given me, the layers razor cut and giving me a rough look. I shook my head wildly, just to see if it would change the look, but it settled exactly the same way it had been. I rolled my eyes at a lock that now hung in front of my eyes, running down the length of my face until it reached and tickled my nose spitefully, knowing that it was going to be a stubborn bit of hair.

_Scissors!_ The voice in my head called to me ecstatically as my eyes settled on the scissors that Mira had left on the counter next to me. I quickly shut my eyes to the sight, imagining that the scissors didn't exist and gripping the sides of my stool tightly to keep my hands from moving. All the muscles in my body tensed, fighting against themselves as the voice in my mind tried to take control. I shook my head again, this time in an attempt to rid myself of the evil thoughts of suicide and homicide that streamed from the consciousness that wasn't mine. When I opened my eyes, Mira was staring at me.

"What are you doing, Ar?" she asked inquisitively while she gave me an amused look. "You look like a dog."

She brandished her camera and made me sit still so that she could take the picture. She even went so far as to force me laughingly to pose, which I did while laughing hysterically myself. We enjoyed ourselves for a few minutes more before Melanie entered the bathroom, shot us a don't-be-so-stupid look, and headed for the bathtub. We both laughed at Melanie's expression, but we stopped taking pictures and headed back to the dorm room, where Olivia and Lily both complimented my new haircut and praised Mira for her handiwork. We went on to discuss the very strange beings that are men; Olivia was convinced that her goal to attract Cyllarus Vanderly, the hottest Hufflepuff boy in Hogwarts, was closer than ever.

"Mira, you should give me a cool new haircut! Maybe it will help!" Olivia beamed as Mira nodded in excitement.

"Of course! How do you think we should cut it?" The two ambled towards Mira's bedside table, where Mira kept stacks and stacks of magazines, both muggle and magic. I rolled my eyes at them, smiling in amusement as they continued to plot ways to ensnare Cyllarus Vanderly's heart.

"How was today's detention?" Lily asked, sitting gracefully on the edge of my bed, watching as I started sifting through my trunk in search of a clean pair of pajamas. I looked up at her in the middle of my search with a grimace. "Sirius was there again?"

"No, but Peter and Patton Wanker, er, I mean, Lexing, were. Is there some sort of evil scheme being put into action here, Lily?" Lily gave me an innocent look.

"I've no idea what you're talking about, Artemis. You were polishing trophies with Mr. Filch today, right?" I nodded. "Well, that doesn't sound too bad for a Wednesday detention. It's raining outside, so you couldn't help Hagrid today."

I smiled and changed my search for pajamas to a search for a jacket. Rain was my favorite weather; whenever I got the chance, I took a long walk in the rain to clear my mind and wash away my troubles. "Really? I didn't know it was raining. You want to go for a walk, Lily?" Lily shot me an exasperated look and shook her head.

"That reminds me, though. Quidditch practice was tonight, and the team tracked mud everywhere! I told James to clean it up, and he said he wanted to talk to you." She glared at me. "And then, being the idiot that he is, he asked me out and tried to kiss me." I showed her how I felt about that by allowing disappointment to cover my face as I drew my navy blue jacket from my trunk.

"Really, Lily, James likes you a lot. Can't see why you don't just give him a chance." I shrugged as she blushed and opened her mouth to argue. "It's not any of my business. I'm sorry. I was just saying. I'll be back in a while, okay?" I didn't give her the chance to respond before I ducked out the door and down the stairs. When I reached the base of the stairway, I glanced around the common room for James' wild black hair and saw him sitting at a table with his friends, laughing and messing around like he always did. James' and Sirius' hair was limp and wet; I couldn't tell if it was from the rain or because they'd showered. As I approached, all four of them went silent, staring blankly at my hair.

"What the hell—" Sirius started, but I interrupted him.

"Lily said you had to talk to me, James?"

"Yeah, I..." he glanced at Sirius, then at Remus and Peter. "I am starving! Moony, Wormtail, let's go get something to eat! Padfoot, tell Artemis the good news!" he said as he jumped up and literally sprinted toward the portrait hole, followed by Remus and Peter. Sirius and I wore identical expressions of suspicion and irritation as the trio disappeared. For a few minutes, we gaped after them. Finally, I got the feeling that Sirius was staring at me instead. I sighed.

"Well, _Padfoot_, what's the good news?"

"What the hell happened to your head?" he countered. I glowered at him.

"Don't act stupid, Sirius." He smirked and stood up so that he towered over me like normal. "You know Mira does this every year. If I remember correctly, we do this every year too."

"Yes we do," he chuckled, ruffling my hair with both hands and sneering at me.

"Let's get it over with then," I muttered. Sirius happily obliged by tugging playfully on my hair, messing it up as much as he could, and finishing by pulling out his wand and turning it a deep purple grape color while I hit him, kicked him, and otherwise tried to push him away from me without result. He stifled a burst of laughter as he looked me up and down.

"Going somewhere?" he asked out of the blue, pointing at my jacket, which no longer matched with my purple hair.

"Are you going to tell me what James was going to say?" Sirius just gazed at me steadily without blinking. "I was going to go for a walk," I snapped when he didn't move for over a minute.

"But it's raining outside," Sirius pointed out with a bedazzled expression. "Why would you go for a walk?" I growled at him to let him know that he was aggravating me; he sniggered in response. "I'll go with you; wait here." My mouth dropped open as he turned and disappeared up the boys' stairway. My eye twitched and my muscles tensed in frustration. Sirius Black was going to come with me?

_Why_? I asked myself. _Why the hell does he want to come with me_?

_Kill him,_ the voice said. _Get rid of the bloody fool_!

I scowled at my mental voice as Sirius rejoined me, shrugging on his own jacket.

"Ladies, er, well, whatever you are first," he said, gesturing toward the portrait hole. I glowered at him and grumbled a little about the fact that he was coming too, but made my way out the portrait hole anyway. Sirius followed right behind me, close enough that I could smell his scent again. I grimaced at the odor, hoping that the rain would wash it away.

It did. As soon as we were through the front doors, Sirius shivered and pulled his jacket tighter around him, canning the scent inside. It would probably be ten times as strong when he unzipped his jacket, seeing how the aroma was crammed inside like sardines in a small can. I left my jacket unzipped, which seemed to make Sirius worried.

"Why are we out here?" he asked, eyeing my jacket zipper as we strolled down the front steps. I turned to roll my eyes at him.

"Well, I'm out here because I like to walk in the rain. I've no idea why you're here, though. Care to elaborate?" I asked, tilting my head sideways and giving him a false grin, blinking seductively a few times. He grinned back just as falsely and shook his head. I frowned and started down the front lawn towards the lake. Sirius caught up quickly and pointed at my jacket.

"You should zip that up."

I frowned at him again. "Are you my mother now?"

"You're going to get sick," he warned.

"Yes, thank you, mummy. I'll make sure that I brush my teeth before bed too, okay?"

His jaw tightened. "Whatever," he snapped back venomously. "Do whatever the bloody fuck you want."

I closed my eyes, trying to let the rain wipe away the irritation and to block Sirius from my thoughts. My breathing had quickened with my rising temper and I focused on bringing my blood pressure down to normal. When I had succeeded, or at least was fairly calmed, I opened my eyes to find us strolling around the lake, heading for a tree on the shores, where the Marauders would often lounge when they had free time and the weather was nice. I thought that the Whomping Willow would have suited them better, but I suppose that would have been rather dangerous. By the time we reached the tree, we were both soaked to the skin. We hastened to shelter ourselves beneath the branches, whose leaves were turning to orange and yellow. I zipped up my jacket.

"That's not going to help _now_," Sirius pointed out. I did myself the favor of ignoring him, leaning against the trunk of the tree casually, and staring out at the rippling Black Lake. "Though, I do like the wet dog look." He shook his head violently, splattering my face with drops.

"Well at least I don't act like a dog," I retorted. He smiled mischievously. "What?"

"Do it," he demanded. I stared at him with a glare, gobsmacked.

"I don't think so."

He smiled wider and nudged me with his elbow. "You know you want to."

"I also know that you're a stupid prat." Sirius scowled. "Can you just tell me what James was going to say now?"

"Impatient, aren't you?" I glowered at the waves that lapped against the shore a few yards away.

"Just tell—" he pushed me roughly, causing me to fall with a splash to the swampy grass beneath the tree. I gasped as I landed on the ground and he laughed at my infuriated look.

"Temper, Gaunt. I was getting there." He raised an eyebrow at me and leaned against the tree where I had been seconds later. "You really need to work on your temper."

I scowled and hit the slushy ground beneath me with clenched fists. "Sod off, and just tell me what James—"

"All right, all right! Don't get your bloody knickers in twist. Quidditch practice is tomorrow after class and you better not be late. Now I'm going inside before I catch a cold and you'd better follow before you get one too. Not that I care; I just don't want you sneezing all over the Quaffle." He shrugged and started to walk away.

I winced, yelped, and jumped off the ground as the rainwater began to soak into my jeans. "Wait, Black—" Sirius whirled around so fast that he tottered of balance slightly for a few seconds afterward. I shot him an amazed look. "Trying to be a ballerina, Black?" He flushed slightly pink and glared at me. I chuckled at his expression and rolled my eyes at him. "Did you just try to tell me I'm back on the team?"

"You're impatient _and_ slow? _Yes_, Gaunt, you're back on the team. Now can we please go back inside before we drown or catch pneumonia or something?"

Joy and excitement overwhelmed me; before I could think about it, my arms were around Sirius' neck and my lips on his cheek. Nearly as quickly, I was off him, flushing scarlet and spinning around happily until I was dizzy. Maybe doing childish and embarrassing would distract him from the fact that I'd just kissed him?

No such luck. He continued to stare at me with a sort of disgusted, shocked, irritated, bewildered, infuriated, surprised, entranced, and any-other-adjective-having-a-strange-connotation expression as his face gradually turned first a pale white and then a tomato red. I giggled girlishly at the look before cracking up and laughing at it hysterically and openly, which in turn made his face deepen a shade.

"Shut up! You're the one who—" he grimaced and then it was my turn to blush crimson, which probably looked very strange with my grape colored hair. It must have, because Sirius began to chuckle. He stopped suddenly when he realized what he was doing. We stood in the rain in an awkward silence for what seemed like forever. Finally, Sirius said, "This never happened."

"Never happened," I agreed. "Now you hurry along, Black, before you catch cold."

"Right, come on then," Sirius said, grabbing my upper arm and pulling me along with him. I smacked his hand in an attempt to make him release me, which didn't work, to say the least.

"I didn't say _let's _hurry along, I said _you_. Let go!" He rolled his eyes, ignoring me and retaining his grip on my arm as I hit him again. Irritated, I hit him harder, and this time he flinched a little and his hold on me relaxed. The reduction of grip allowed me to pull away from him, leaving him scowling at me as I walked back in the direction that we'd come from. When I looked back, he was gone, and I sighed heavily in relief.

I returned to the tree, leaning back against it. I closed my eyes and listened to the rain hitting the lake, the grass, the leafy branches above me. It was such a relaxing atmosphere that I felt my consciousness slipping from me, only to be snatched back at the sound snuffling coming from nearby. My eyes snapped open and I looked around me quickly, stuffing my hand in my pocket and gripping my wand. To my surprise, I saw a large black dog rooting around at the base of the tree, not even two yards away. The dog looked up at me with curiously familiar gray eyes.

"Well, hello there, mate." I smiled at the dog. "Where did you come from?"

The dog inched closer, still staring up at me with his wide silver eyes. When he was at an arm's reach, I squatted and stretched my arm towards him; he sniffed my hand for a few seconds before licking my fingers and coming closer.

"You're a good boy, aren't you?" I cooed, petting his head softly. "I'm going to smell like wet dog, aren't I? Aw, well, that's the price we pay, I suppose. Planned on taking a shower later anyways." The dog licked my face before he tilted his head at me, looking almost imploring. I scratched his ear. "What is it, boy?" He whined pitifully, nudging my knee. I sighed. It was times like this that I wished that I could understand more than just snakes. "I don't know what you want." He prodded my knee again, harder. When all I did in response was express further confusion, the dog barked and took off up the hill to the front door. The action seemed to result in an epiphany of sorts; my mind seemed to figure something out, but for some reason, the enlightenment didn't seem to reach to my brain. I felt as if it should have been obvious.

I put the thought in the back of my head and reluctantly straightened up and followed the dog. When I reached the door, there was no one there. Double-checking that Sirius was absent, I shook my self as he had before and looked uncomfortably at the small puddle. Filch would have to clean it up later, and he wouldn't be very happy afterwards, but I eventually decided that I didn't really care.

Leaving the puddle behind, and probably a trail of water droplets, I made my path to the Gryffindor common room.

***~~~***

Sirius shook his entire body wildly, delighted by the effect as the water in his silky black fur flew in every direction. He shifted silently back to his human self, sidled into the entrance hall, and smiled at the puddle of water on the floor. He'd known she wanted to do it.

As he made his way through the halls, he encountered a very anxious seeming Peter. He smirked. "What are we doing, Wormtail?" For anxious was exactly how Peter got when James, Sirius, and Remus were busily preparing for a prank and Peter was keeping watch.

"Oh, Sirius! James and Remus are in the Charms classroom," he said, pointing to the next door. He chuckled, his eyes scanning the hallways nervously. "They're going to turn all the desserts we snatched from the kitchens into a giant cake, only it's not really going to be cake! It's going to be—"

"Wormtail, who's—Oh, Padfoot, there you are! Get in here, quick; you too Wormtail," James whispered, beckoning the two others inside.

Sirius' jaw dropped to the floor. Figuratively, of course. "What the hell is that?"

Peter grinned. "I told you, didn't I? It's—"

"A giant cake!" James exclaimed, grinning at his best mate and spreading his arms out toward the cake like he was going to hug it, though Sirius wouldn't have recommended that, as it _was_ covered in chocolate frosting. Sirius stared in awe at the mammoth chocolate pastry sitting on four of the desks, pushed together to support it's colossal weight.

"A giant cake..." Sirius repeated slowly. Remus rolled his eyes from where he had nearly climbed inside the cake.

"Yes, Padfoot, a giant cake."

"And what are we going to _do_ with this giant cake?" Sirius asked, unable to keep the grin from spreading across his countenance. He sensed something conniving as the other three grinned in unison.

"Well..." Remus started.

"We're going to put dungbombs inside it," Peter interrupted.

James cut in, "And we're going to make them go off exactly half an hour before class starts so that—"

"We won't have to go to Charms class in the morning," Remus finished.

"Not to mention Professor Flitwick left all our graded essay's on his desk, and I didn't do well," Peter said. The other three Marauders stared at him. "Er, never mind..."

"That is," Sirius stated after a minute of respectful silence, "brilliant! But," he continued slowly, "I think I have a better idea." The other three looked at him with feigned patience while he let the suspense build.

"What?" Peter finally half-yelled. "What is it?"

So Sirius told them.

"Sirius! That's—" Remus began softly, but James cut him off again.

"The most brilliant idea I've heard in my whole bloody life!"

"Sirius, you're a genius," Remus admitted.

"Right..." James muttered before turning to Sirius. He quirked his eyebrow. "Did you go swimming, mate? You're soaking wet."

"Forget it," Sirius sighed. "It's weird."

James and Peter groaned simultaneously. "Sirius! You're just making me more curious!"

Sirius rolled his eyes at his best friends. "Bit nosy, aren't you blokes?"

"It has something to do with Artemis, then?" James asked. Sirius stared at him.

"How do you always jump to that conclusion, Prongs?" James responded with a confused look.

"What conclusion?"

"That it has something to do with Artemis?" James made an impressive show of looking completely innocent, even though he knew exactly what Sirius meant.

"I've no idea what you mean, mate. Now are you going to help us with this cake or do we need to do it ourselves?" Sirius frowned at him but shrugged the obvious avoidance of topic off. Together, the four Marauders prepared Operation Happy Stink Day, or so James saw apt to call it. When they had concluded their mischievous actions, the guys headed off to the common room. On the way, however, and most unfortunately for Sirius, James remembered that he had been questioning Sirius as to why the latter was drenched.

"Come on, mate; just tell me."

Sirius glared at his friend. "Why is it so bloody important?"

James pouted. "I'm your best mate, right? You're supposed to tell me everything!" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Right, like you tell me everything? Whatever," he continued before James could interrupt. "If you really need to know, Gaunt likes to take walks in the rain."

James waited for more, but nothing else came. "Walks in the rain?" he repeated. Sirius nodded. "That's... romantic." Remus laughed.

"Romantic, Prongs?"

"Romantic. Sort of. Especially if, you know, you kiss in the rain. Girls like to dream about that stuff. Getting their first kiss in the rain and crap."

"Are you a girl, Prongs?" Sirius asked, turning slightly pink, though thankfully none of the other guys noticed.

James glared at him. "_No_! I was just _saying_. But, please, continue."

"Well, I wanted to keep making fun of her, so I went with her."

The other three gaped at him, Peter's mouth hanging open stupidly.

"You went with her?" Sirius rolled his eyes and nodded. "_You went with her_? Like, you went for a walk in the rain _with her_?"

"After I turned her hair purple."

"You went for a walk in the rain with her after you turned her hair _purple_?" James repeated, causing Sirius to turn a glower on him. "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure I heard you right. Just to be sure, you went—"

"Yes! But we didn't do anything! We argued a bit, I told her she was back on the team, I came back inside. End of story!"

The four fell into silence as they continued to walk down the corridors. Finally, James broke the awkward quiet.

"So you went for a walk in the rain with her after you turned her hair purple, and _you didn't do anything_?"

"Nothing makes you happy, does it?" Sirius asked, shaking his head. "What the bloody hell did you want me to do?"

James opened his mouth to reply, but Remus elbowed him in his side, shaking his head. So instead, he just opened and shut his mouth, looking a bit like a dying fish. Sirius snorted at him.

"How did she react?" Remus asked when it became obvious that James wasn't going to be speaking any time soon.

"To what?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "When you told her she was back on the team? How did she react?"

"She was happy," Sirius said simply, turning away so that the others couldn't see his returning blush.

"Well that was specific," Remus said sarcastically.

"I don't know, she got all happy and weird and started jumping around like she was a nutter."

James seemed to recover at this; he chuckled. "Sounds like Ar."

Sirius scowled at him. "Since when do you call her that?"

"I always call her that, just not when you're around," James admitted guiltily.

"And what do you mean, 'sounds like Ar?' She's never like that."

James shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I just know her better than you. She is like a sister to me, you know."

Now it was Sirius' turn to gape. When the Fat Lady was in sight, Sirius finally spoke again. "Are you guys trying to do something?"

Peter looked confused, but James and Remus exchanged nervous glances.

"What makes you think that?" Remus asked. "What would we be trying to do?"

Sirius just shrugged and continued to stare at them suspiciously. Their guilty looks didn't fade, and neither did Sirius' wary glare. Remus muttered the password and the four trekked through the hole and up to their dorm, rushing a bit across the emptying common room to avoid the suspicious stares of Artemis and Lily and the obsessive Melanie as she lunged towards them.

Sirius didn't mention the subject again as they got ready for bed, but he knew that, for some reason, James and Remus were trying to get Sirius to admit that he liked Artemis. Which he didn't, of course, but they seemed to think that he did. Sirius had to think of some way to show the two that there was no way that he was falling in love with his worst enemy (besides You-Know-Who, of course). So maybe he was a bit concerned about the fact that she seemed depressed and crazy and a little suicidal. There was no way in hell that he was falling for Artemis Gaunt. No way in hell.


	8. But Whoever Heard of a Giant Cake?

((Disclaimer: Still don't own Harry Potter, though at times, I wonder what it would be like.))

I yawned widely as the first sounds of waking arose around the dormitory. I scowled at the lock of hair between my eyes and blew at it frustratingly to no avail. Giving the cause up as hopeless, I changed into my school uniform and robes. By the time I was ready, the other four girls were barely getting out of bed. I rolled my eyes at the exhausting slowness of the others as I glanced in the mirror. My hair was still purple, though it had gotten darker, slowly adjusting back to my usual black, and was now more plum colored than vivid, electric purple, which I saw as I definite improvement. Last year, he had turned my hair neon orange, and the year before that it had been hot pink. Sighing, I turned to Mira.

"I'll wait for you downstairs."

Mira just nodded unenthusiastically and went on with pulling her robes on. I chuckled and slipped out the door, going down the spiral staircase to the common room, where I sat in the nearest armchair and closed my eyes. "Mornings suck," I told the common room.

"Yes they do," the common room replied. I snorted and spoke without opening my eyes.

"You're up awfully early. You realize we've still got about two hours before class starts, right?"

"Yes, well, I've got some things to do. I wish I were still in bed though..."

I opened my eyes and gazed at James in suspicion. "You've got what sort of things to do?" He grinned impishly and didn't reply. "Should I be nervous?"

"Well, you might want to skip breakfast today, or go early."

"You realize you'll end up in Azkaban if you've poisoned the food, right?"

James guffawed at my allegation. "We didn't poison the food," he said, still laughing quietly. "Nice hair," he commented, obviously wanting to change the subject.

I sighed. "Yes, well, better than that nasty green he did third year."

"Definitely. I still think it was boogey colored."

"Baby vomit," I countered. He snorted and shook his head.

"If you say so. I'll see you later. Skip breakfast." Without another word, he walked off, obviously having seen his friends; I watched him go with mounting irritation.

"Idiots," I muttered under my breath.

"Who are?" Lily asked as she joined me, somehow managing to look much more awake than she had five minutes before. Her brilliant green eyes peered at me curiously beneath her straightened red hair. I jerked my head in the direction James had gone and Lily seemed to understand. Her green eyes instantly became suspicious as she furrowed her brows and glared at them. "Why?"

"I'm not sure yet, I'll tell you when I figure it out." Lily scowled at me, but I just shrugged. "Sorry," I added, just in case. "James wants us to skip breakfast."

The suspicion came back immediately, now tripled across her countenance. She redoubled her efforts to shoot laser beams out of her eyes at the four Marauders, and it looked like she was very close to succeeding. "Why?" she asked again.

"He wouldn't tell me." She looked as if she were about to tackle James and force it out of him, so I hastened to continue. "He didn't poison the food," I said stupidly. The obtuse statement seemed to work, however, as Lily's impaling glare changed to a look of utmost puzzlement and settled on me instead. I found the gaze immensely uncomfortable, especially since Lily was standing above me, an easily advantageous position. I hurriedly stood, and Lily seemed to realize that she was gawking at me impolitely. She recovered and hooked her arm through mine, pulling me towards the portrait hole.

"We'd better go check it out then!"

"Er, why?" I asked, grimacing. "Is the point of a warning to make you _not_ do the thing you're being warned about?"

Lily didn't answer as we crawled through the hole in the wall and started down the corridor.

"But, Lily," I whined, trying to think of some way to keep Lily from going down to breakfast. If James had seen fit to warn me of whatever they'd done, then I had no desire to walk straight into it. I mean honestly, Lily! "What about—"

"Mira and Olivia can catch up later. Right now, we have to figure out what those stupid gits are up to."

"Lily!" I groaned, trying to pull away from her as she tugged me down the hall by my wrist. "I'm not Head Girl, you are! I'm tired, I don't want to deal with this!"

Lily just rolled her eyes at me and tightened her grip. "Oh, stop whining," she commanded. "You're the one who told me about it, you're the one who probably knows the most about it, except those bloody idiots, and that means you've got to come and help me!"

_How annoying she is_! The voice was back again, sounding frustrated. _So bossy_! I scowled at the consciousness internally.

_Oh, bugger off_! I snapped back at it. _She's my friend and she's a damn good one too_!

"All right then," I sighed, out loud to Lily. "But I told you already, I don't really know that much about it. James just said to skip breakfast. I probably won't be much help to you, Lils."

"Well still! It's nice to have back up, particularly with those four monsters!" Lily paused, suddenly taken aback. "Did you just call me Lils?"

I blinked, thinking back to half seconds ago. Well, shit. I had. "Er, yes? Is something wrong with that?"

Now Lily blinked. "I suppose not, you just surprised me." She paused again. "If you call me Lils, do I get to call you Ar?"

I smiled. "Yes, I reckon you do. That makes us best friends, doesn't it?"

"I guess so."

We walked in silence through the corridors for a few minutes.

"What you said is true though, about having back up. Reinforcements are always nice, 'specially if you're dealing with James or Black. Those two together spell absolute chaos. Course, sometimes you need a bit of chaos," I pegged on thoughtfully. I glanced inconspicuously at Lily with my peripheral vision. I was delighted to see that Lily's skin had a faint pink tint to it, meaning that she had probably understood my true meaning.

"No you don't!" she snapped savagely, making it quite clear that she had. "What you need in life is order, _control_! That's something that James Potter and Sirius Black don't understand! As soon as they get out of Hogwarts, they won't survive for long out in the real world!" Her tirade finished, Lily sniffed irately. I laughed.

"Of course! Whereas smart, reliable, beautiful young women like ourselves will most definitely thrive." I closed my eyes, trying to visualize Lily ten years from now. I discovered that I couldn't decide whether the vision was more frightening or more magnificent.

"Of course! We are the future of the world, and that future rests on our shoulders whether we like it or not, because men sure as hell can't handle the pressure!"

"Exactly! Why do you think I've sworn off them? They're absolute idiots! They don't know what they want, so they obviously rely on women to show them! And we've all seen how that ends up." Alas, poor Ginger. If I remembered correctly, her baby was due late last August. "Women get confused because now she's not only got the pressure of being the future, but she's also got a man to take care of, in some cases even a child or two."

"And that's precisely what puts all the pressure on women like us! Our attitude is what a real lady needs to survive in the world and succeed as a happy, single, independent woman!"

"Yes!"

Somewhere amid our furious discussion, our voices had escalated to quiet yells, and somehow I'd lost the sarcastic tone. We continued to rant about how vital we were to the future of the Wizarding world, and in what seemed like minutes we had entered the entrance hall.

"And let me just say that Potter and Black will never—Ar, what's wrong?"

I had jerked to a stop at the top of the stairs, and now Lily was staring back at me with an alarmed look. As soon as we'd walked into the hall, I had gotten a suspicious feeling, and something told me that the Marauders hadn't done anything to breakfast.

"Er, I don't know, I've just got this weird feeling." I shook my head to clear my mind, and then began glancing around the hall, looking each person carefully in the face before moving on.

"What do you mean?" Lily inquired, looking around us herself, as if my sensation had somehow been transferred to her. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary: Melanie was strutting across the hall like a model, Patton Lexing was chatting with his friends next to the door to the Great Hall, Severus Snape was haunting a small corner reading what looked like a book about the Dark Arts, and most were hurrying to get to breakfast so that they could eat before classes started. If not for James' warning and for the horrible suspicion in my gut, I might have been one of those people.

But James had warned me, and I knew better than to take his advice lightly. Something in the entrance hall was off.

"I dunno, maybe I, er—you know!" I yelled suddenly, earning myself stares and scowls as the more sleepy students passed Lily and me on the staircase. Lily had almost toppled down the stairs in fright, and had only just managed to catch herself. "I, erm, I think I forgot my Charms book! We should go... back..." having surveyed the area, I realized that there was one place I hadn't looked yet. Lily gave me a bewildered stare as I slowly turned my head up to the vaulted ceiling of the hall. "Gah..." I finished my sentence lamely. Lily continued to gape at me blankly.

"What on earth are you talking about? I watched you get your book and put it into your satchel. Are you all right?" she asked, coming back up the stairs and appearing rather annoyed when I made no response but to continue staring at the ceiling. "What the hell are you—oh, bloody fucking hell," she ended nearly as badly as me as she followed my gaze. "Please tell me that's not what I think it is."

But it was: a huge, mountainous, mammoth chocolate cake. Floating. In the middle of the high ceilings of the entrance hall. The cake was tiered, with three separate layers, a bit like a wedding cake except that it was brown and simple (it had no fancy icing or the figurines of a bride and groom on top). And, of course, did I mention that it was floating?

"Bloody fucking hell," I said, copying Lily's laconic statement. It seemed enough answer for her question because she hissed like an angry cat and whirled around, looking a bit like I pictured a manticore (boy, I would have loved to have seen one of those, but unfortunately I had to rely on pictures in books).

"James Bloody Potter!" she growled as she marched back up the stairs to find the dead man, aka James Bloody Potter. And indeed, James probably would be bloody when she was done with him, though the cake had yet to harm anyone.

I remained where I was. If anyone knew how the Marauders worked their pranks, it was me; I'd had enough experiences with Sirius' to know that the Marauders just did not do simple idiotic jokes like make cakes float around the entrance hall where no one would even notice it anyways. They're pranks usually involved hideously idiotic jokes like scaring the crap out of some first year or making cakes explode or... oh.

Bollocks.

I spun around, determined to follow Lily, or more accurately to hurry her out of the entrance hall before the cake ended up all of the walls in order to perhaps save whatever Lily left of James. Unfortunately, my enlightenment came too late. As I took my first step towards Lily, the chocolate cake blew.

First I heard the sounds. The explosion rocked the ground, shook the walls. Then there were the screams of the students and teachers in the hall, piercing through the blast like shards of glass.

Second, I was almost knocked forward onto my face as tons of cake hit the walls, floors, ceilings, and people, and most importantly my entire backside. As it was, I stumbled forward, catching Lily's arm as we both slipped and almost fell into the cakey sludge. I snorted at the sight of Lily's face.

The back of her red hair was completely covered in brown and slimy yellow sludge. The mixture was all up and down the back of her, and me, I imagine. Her face was scarlet, most likely from fury. I'd hate to be James right now, or any of the Marauders, the way Lily's complexion was still growing darker, now nearly the color of my hair.

Around us, people seemed to realize that they were coated in what could only be described as a vile sludge made from what seemed to be chocolate cake and dungbombs. Lily and I had been lucky: our backs had been turned. Most of the students, as I said before, were headed towards the Great Hall for breakfast; they had received the explosion from the front, covered from head to toe. Those who had been right beneath it (of which Melanie was included in their number) were almost completely plastered with the sludge from every side, front, back, and top. The sheer size of the cake was enough to cover the entire entrance hall and virtually every person in it with the despicable mixture, and I was almost surprised that the force of the blast hadn't knocked more than half the students over and hadn't cracked the very foundation that Hogwarts sat upon. Students and teachers were rushing into the hall from both the Great Hall and the corridors branching off into the rest of the school, only to slip and fall into the yellow-brown slime. People were still yelling, and my ears were beginning to ring.

"Well then..." I stated, deciding to keep the fact that Lily now looked like a plum, with a large red sunburn that was covered in mud, to myself. As if she could read my mind (you never know, I suppose), Lily glared at me and hissed, "Sod off!"

Without adding more, she hooked my arm and pulled me with her back out of the hall and unfortunately right into the Marauders, who were cackling about their latest prank. I barely had time to register the fact that Sirius was rather attractive while cackling, and to mentally slap myself for thinking such foolish things, before Lily started screaming at them. My eyes widened as she yelled, scolding them and insulting them with every foul word under the sun. McGonagall and Dumbledore showed up after about five minutes, but the pair of teachers seemed slightly afraid to interrupt Lily Evans mid-diatribe. So they watched on as Lily spent another fifteen minutes raging at the four guys, all four of who were cowering.

When Lily was finished, I sighed heavily and scowled at them all.

"Specifics would help next time, James." James grinned, even though it was obvious that he knew he was going to be in detention for at least a week.

Sirius snorted as if he'd just noticed me. "You look like a moldy eggplant!" he exclaimed. I valiantly resisted the urge to laugh and instead scowled at him.

"It's your bloody fault!" I complained, kicking him in the shin, an act that had little to no effect.

"All the better," Sirius countered, smirking and kicking me back, an act that had considerably more effect than mine had and that caused me to yelp and grab my shin while I hopped on one foot. He laughed, and James chuckled a little (Lily did the honor of slapping him for me). "I didn't know eggplants could jump!"

I opened my mouth to cuss at him, but McGonagall cut me off.

"That is enough, Mr. Black! As Miss Evans has kindly expressed, what you have done was extremely foolish, and you are very lucky that nothing was damaged. Each of you will receive detention, and twenty-five points will be taken from Gryffindor. Now, morning classes will be cancelled this morning, as I'm sure that no one wants to go to class layered in... well, in smelly, slimy goop."

"Well now, now that that's settled, I believe I see fit occasion for a celebration," Dumbledore said. The three women gaped at him.

"Professor, er, not to be rude or anything, but what the hell are you talking about?" I asked.

Dumbledore beamed at me. "Why don't you ask Mr. Lupin? As for me, I'm going to go and make sure that all the students find themselves where they should be." He smiled at each of the people around him and went back into the entrance hall, followed by McGonagall.

Lily and I turned to Remus for answers.

"Er," he said, glancing at his friends. James nodded in encouragement. "Well, see, today is the seventh year anniversary of our first great prank. You remember it, don't you, Artemis?"

I gave him a baffled look before enlightenment hit me. I growled. "Well, it _was_ a repressed memory."

Remus and James grinned, Sirius snorted, and Peter laughed as they thought of the prank they'd pulled first year. They'd turned the Great Hall into a swampy lake in the middle of lunch, covering students, tables, and food in slimy green algae and muddy water, and making the Hall reek of rotting fish. They had received a week and a half's worth of detention for the stunt. "Well, you asked..."

"That's stupid!" Lily snapped, grabbing my forearm and pulling me towards the staircase. "Idiots! Like that's really any reason to celebrate!"

James caught up with us and squeezed his way between us, throwing his arms over both our shoulders. He gave Lily an upset look.

"Of course, I didn't mean to let it get you, Lily! That's why I warned Ar," he said, glaring sideways at me, "but she obviously didn't heed the warning or you two wouldn't have been down here."

Lily flushed and glared at me too. I chose to not respond to either James' accusation or Lily's glowering; instead I shrugged out from under James' arm, expecting Lily to follow the suit. She didn't. To my great, but completely gleeful surprise, Lily let James walk with his arm around her shoulder, still blubbering on about how he'd meant to keep her out of their line of fire. I smiled at their backs as Remus and Peter drew level with me, Sirius lagging behind us.

"So, Artemis, I heard you're back on the team," Remus said nonchalantly.

My smiled brightened even more. "I am! I'm actually quite looking forward to practice, even though it's pouring out. Rain's my favorite weather to play in!"

"Why?" Peter asked, giving me my own curious, sideways glance.

"Well..." I actually had to think about it, and in the end I came up with: "More risks, I suppose. Visibility's low, getting a grip on the broomstick is harder, and I guess the game is just all around more challenging. I don't think things that are easy are much fun at all."

Remus raised an eyebrow at me. "I agree."

"I don't get it..." Peter said, furrowing his brow.

"Kind of like a girl playing hard to get," Sirius put in helpfully from a few steps behind us.

"Oh!"

"Exactly!" Then I realized what he'd said. I scowled. "Well, sort of. I reckon that's the same... I'm probably not the best judge of _that_..."

Sirius smirked. "I'd hope not, or most of the male population at Hogwarts would be _sorely_ disappointed. After all, most men don't really like fucking girls with lesbian tendencies." He paused and looked thoughtful. "Or do they?"

I gaped at him stupidly before shaking my head. "You know, men like you are the reason I'm still a virgin."

Now Sirius gaped at me, along with Peter and Remus. By now, Lily and James were far enough ahead that I'm pretty sure they didn't hear.

"You're... still a virgin?" Sirius asked, suddenly grinning wickedly, a look that made my skin crawl and my cheeks burn.

"Just because I've had a lot of boyfriends doesn't mean I'm a slag," I snapped.

Sirius snorted. "Actually, most guys think it does. There are exceptions, of course, but girls who have many boyfriends are the sort that are usually into a relationship for sex. As soon as it's over, she's off with another guy, or guys." I tried to keep the disgust from my face, but Sirius laughed, so I don't reckon I did a good job of it.

"I _told_ you she wasn't doing any of that stuff," Remus said, leaning around me to give Sirius a smug stare.

"How do you know she isn't lying?" Sirius asked, smirking at my obvious distaste for the conversation. We'd finally reached the corridor with the portrait hole, so I quickened my pace.

"She has way too much pride and dignity to have sex until after she's married."

"Well, I can certainly fix that."

I had just reached the opened portrait hole, but I whirled around and whipped my wand out. "Just what the hell are you implying, Black?" I snarled viciously.

Sirius chuckled and patted my head. "I'll just leave you to surmise, shall I? You can just let me know when you've figured it out. But really, you ought to go wash; you smell horribly."

And he strode off, leaving me and Remus and Peter to stare after him open-mouthed.

***~~~***

"He said _what_?" James asked again.

"He said he could fix it," Peter piped in.

Sirius was seriously getting annoyed with them all. They'd been talking about Artemis and the guys' conversation ever since they'd returned to the common room that morning and they were now approaching their last class, Care of Magical Creatures.

"He said he could _certainly_ fix it," Remus added, smiling in a weird way at his myopic friend. James suddenly cracked into a similar grin. He elbowed Sirius' side.

"Knew you liked her, mate. But, I think that admitting to wanting to have sex with her is a bit much. Take it from someone who has experience in that area," said James, patting his best mate on the back.

Sirius gagged out of reflex. "I do _not_ like her! I hold by everything that I've said about her since first year. Except maybe the physical aspects because she's really developed quite—" he cut himself off when he noticed Remus and James' smug expressions. "I don't like her! There's a difference between _liking her_ and being _physically attracted to her_. And right now, I'm physically attracted to her. That's not really something I can control, you know."

"True, true. You're a man, and men are physically attracted to women, especially to beautiful women, which is exactly what she is. So you're attracted to her, physically, that is to say, right now. But later on—"

"No, no later on! I'm attracted to her, _physically_; I'll admit that much. I'm attracted to her, right now, and perhaps for a long time, but I will never be any more than _physically attracted to her_, you understand? Never!"

The four were silent as they sprinted across the lawns to where Professor Kettleburn was waiting under the tents that had been constructed. The girls, namely Artemis and Lily, were already waiting in their drenched cloaks, along with the others who had decided to continue with the class after O.W.L.s. James kept a careful eye on Sirius as they entered the shelter, and he noticed that Sirius' eyes never once strayed from her face.

Physically attracted his ass.

***~~~***

I was glad to find my life returning to normal again, I thought as I headed to the sopping Quidditch field later that evening. I was already ready for practice and I was much too early, but that suited me just fine. I was more than content to fly around the pitch in rain, pondering what the fuck Sirius had meant when he'd said he could "fix that," and what the hell he was going to fix.

Was I broken? Well, admittedly I was a bit odd, not exactly like a normal girl but completely plain at the same time. I had a short temper, there was some strange person who continuously and unfortunately graced my conscience with its presence, and the fact that I was related to Salazar Slytherin might make some of my classmates a bit on edge.

But did that make me broken? I didn't think so. But if I wasn't broken, what did Sirius want to fix? Thinking back on our conversation, we'd been talking about my virginity, my pride, and my dignity. So there were three choices that made sense: he was going to fix the fact that I was a virgin, the fact that I was too proud for my own good, or the fact that I had any dignity left. None of these choices sounded particularly pleasant to me at the moment.

Leaning over my broomstick, I egged it on, faster and faster around the pitch. I scarcely noticed when a second broomstick joined me. In fact, I didn't notice until James nearly knocked me off my broom in order to get my attention. Slowing to a halt, I scowled at him. His lips moved, but I couldn't hear the words.

I frowned and pointed at my ears, yelling, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

James pouted a little. "I SAID, BLOODY HELL, IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!" he roared. I chuckled. Leave it to James, Quidditch captain, to be the first to complain about the weather.

"AH, COME ON, POTTER, CAN'T TAKE A LITTLE RAIN?"

He glared at me, then exchanged the look for a smile. "I'LL SHOW YOU WHO CAN'T TAKE THE RAIN! RACE ME ROUND THE PITCH?"

I nodded, then screamed, "SURE!" just in case he couldn't see me well.

"KAY!" he shouted, holding up his hand with his fingers spread wide in his Quidditch gloves. "ON GO! THREE—" he held up three fingers—"TWO—" two fingers—"ONE—" one finger—"GO!"

Both of us shot off like rockets. We both had top of the line broomsticks, and neither of us were holding back as the rain and wind whipped our faces. We were halfway round the pitch—two-thirds—three-quarters. I had fifty feet to go—twenty-five feet—

THUD.

I ran straight into Sirius, almost flying off my broomstick for the second time that night. I steadied my broom, trying to regain some semblance of balance; Sirius had whirled away at impact, laughing as he twirled and flipped upside down. He was like a wall, though, compared to me, and as I rubbed my sure-to-be-bruised-in-the-morning left arm and knee he rejoined me, looking rather amused at the damage he'd caused.

"OOPS!" he yelled, as James flew back to us.

"YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS, BLACK!"

He smirked at me. He was so bloody arrogant. I was about to say that if he didn't wipe the smirk off his face, I would wipe it off for him, but at that point the other four members of the team joined us. Silvia and Terry both glowered at me, Wes gave me a thumbs up and a bright smile, and Mike, the youngest member on the team and one of the beaters, just stared at me with wide eyes, like he thought I was going to eat him.

"KAY, CHAPS, I KNOW IT'S RAINING, BUT FIRST GAME IS LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY, AND THIS SHITTY WEATHER WILL JUST MAKE US BETTER! SO HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO!" James bellowed, attempting to be heard over the downpour. "WES, I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THE SNITCH IN THE RAIN, SO I'M GOING TO CHUCK SOME MUGGLE GOLF BALLS EVERYWHERE AND YOU'LL CATCH THEM. SIRIUS AND ARTEMIS, YOU TWO WORK ON SOME OF OUR TATICS WITH SILVIA, BUT YOU MIGHT WANT TO START WITH SOME CATCH SINCE AR HASN'T PLAYED IN A WHILE..." he shot me an apologetic look, and the rest of the team shuffled nervously. "MIKE AND TERRY, YOU TWO JUST KEEP THE BLUDGERS FROM KILLING US! VISIBILITY'S PRETTY BAD, SO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T MISS!"

I laughed, but nobody heard me. Probably a good thing. So we all headed off to our respective positions, James and Wes practicing with golf balls, Mike and Terry whacking the bludgers, and Sirius and me trying to get a goal against Silvia.

Complying with James wishes, the three of us began with some catch: Sirius threw the ball to me, I tossed it to Silvia, and Silvia hurled it back to Sirius. I was surprised, the first time I threw the ball, how everything else, all my worries, all my problems, seemed to fall away. When we were adequately warmed up, Silvia flew off to the goal posts and Sirius and I grinned at each other.

"READY?"

"I WAS BORN READY!"

He tossed the Quaffle to me and I took off down the pitch, winding in and out of the tall flag posts along the sides. After a few seconds, I threw the ball back to Sirius, he caught it and sped towards the posts, where Silvia was waiting. He feinted and chucked the ball over his head to where he knew I would be and I threw the ball towards the leftmost hoop, whooping when it went through. I rolled my broom in midair, and I heard Sirius cheering with me.

I smiled. After four years of Quidditch with Sirius and James, and with Sirius and my feud still going strong, it always amazed me just how well we could work together.

((A/N: Review!!! Otherwise, I might think you don't like it, and who knows what will happen then?))


	9. As Fate Would Have It

**((Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter...))**

"I can't believe it's almost Halloween already!" Lily said, looking a bit flushed as Mira, Olivia, Lily, and I were eating breakfast the Monday before said holiday. Life at Hogwarts had finally returned to normal (and when I say life, I also mean my hair, which had returned to its genetic black), or to some semblance of it, and I couldn't help but look forward to the weekend. The weather was unusually temperate and summer-like, a bonus to all of the students who were stuck inside once winter came. "And the first Hogsmeade trip is on the same day!"

"Has James asked you to go with him yet?" Olivia asked. I smiled, already knowing the answer.

"Of course he has. He asked me weeks ago."

"And you said?" I asked after a very pregnant pause. Lily's red cheeks turned redder.

"I, erm, I told him I'd think about it." My eyebrows rose, possibly above my hairline, in shock and in excitement.

"And?" I pressed when she didn't continue. "Have you thought about it? You've only got a few days to give him your reply, you know. You said it yourself: Hogsmeade trip is on Saturday."

"Actually," Lily said quite factually, "I told him what I thought last week."

"And that was?" I asked, getting a bit frustrated by the fact that I had to interrogate her for answers.

"I told him I'd go with him if you go with Black."

My mouth dropped open and my fork, laden with fried eggs, halted halfway there. "You _what_?" I gasped.

"I told him I'd go with him if you go with Black," she repeated calmly, not seeming to notice that her friends were all now gaping at her in shock.

"You _what_?" I said again, not daring to move for fear that this was actually happening. Lily glared at me.

"You heard what I said."

My fork fell to my plate with a clatter. "Yes, but I wish I was deaf right now, as a matter of fact. I can't believe you said that!"

"Well, I figured that you always say I should give him a chance, but it's really a bit hypocritical of you not to give Sirius one."

"Yes, but Black isn't in love with me! It's completely different! I'm surprised James hasn't talked to me yet! Now he'll be pressuring me to go to Hogsmeade and spend my Halloween with _Black_!"

"Also, if I have to spend the day with someone I hate, then you do too. It's only fair."

I felt my nostrils flare. "Only fair?" I hissed at her, leaning across the table. "Only fair? You've got to be bloody kidding me! You hate James, but I don't hate Sirius! I absolutely _loathe_ him! Only fair? If we weren't surrounded by witnesses right now, Lils, I'd strangle you!"

Lily smiled wickedly and I shivered. "Actually, Potter seemed to find the challenge quite amusing. He actually thanked me for it."

I snorted and stood up from my chair. "Oh, I see! So it was a team effort! Well, it won't work!" I turned to march away and ran smack into James. "Son of a b—"

"Hey Lily," James interrupted, grinning and waving at her. She returned a small smile. "Artemis, can I talk to you?"

I turned back to glare at Lily. "You're dead, Evans," I hissed before turning to James and giving him a great smile. "James, I have terrible news! Lily's going to die in her sleep tonight, so I'm afraid that she won't be able to go to Hogsmeade with you this weekend."

James grimaced. "Told her, didn't you, Lily?"

Lily smiled that same creepy smile. "I did. I did what I thought was best. And now, I'll leave you to clean up the mess. See you two in class," she said in a falsely bright tone, snatching her bag, Olivia and Mira, and a last piece of toast and quite close to sprinted out of the Great Hall.

James watched her go with a sappy expression on his face. "She's so brilliant," he murmured as her red hair whipped out of sight. I sighed and shook my head at him. This seemed to remind him that he was there for a reason. "Artemis, I know you aren't happy about this—"

"I won't do it, James!" I snapped, glaring coldly at him. "As much as I would love to see you and Lily together, as much as I know that you two are the most brilliant couple in the history of brilliant couples, I will _not_ go on a date with Black."

James grimaced. He opened his mouth, presumably to beg me to reconsider, but he stopped instantly, blanching a bit.

"What about a date?" Sirius' voice asked from behind me, sounding very pissed off.

"Er," James said lamely. When the silence had dragged on long enough that it was obvious that he wasn't going to answer, I replied for him.

"Lily's promised James she'll go to Hogsmeade with him if you and I go together."

Sirius gagged and I glared at him.

"There is _no way in hell _that I would go with... _this_," he said, gesturing at me wildly. Something in my stomach twisted, a painful emotion that I'd never really felt before, but I didn't take the time to analyze it. Instead, I put my hands on my hips and nodded in agreement. None of us spoke for a matter of minutes, during which James stared at the ground and Sirius and I glowered at James.

"Oh," James finally said, and the sorrow in his voice made my heart twinge. Beside me, Sirius had visibly flinched. "That's okay. I don't want you two to feel forced or anything. I understand." He sniffed and looked up at us with his best puppy dog look.

"Oh, sod it, James!" I groaned, quickly closing my eyes and covering my face with my hands, but it was too late. The pitiful stare was now burned to my eyelids, and James' sadness was now impossible to ignore.

The same was obviously not true for Sirius, however.

"No," Sirius snarled, turning tail and storming from the Hall without eating his breakfast.

When he was gone, James whispered, "Please, Ar? Please, please, _please_?" I suspected he'd probably be on his knees soon, and that thought made me grimace.

"_Fine_," I whined, conceding defeat to James' pathetic expressions, keeping my face covered. Because my face was covered, I didn't see James hug me tightly as he said, "Thank you, _thank you_, Artemis, you are so amazing! Now I just have to convince Pads and it'll be set!" He kissed my forehead quickly and skipped off blissfully, leaving me cursing myself and my feminine sentiments to hell.

_Oh God! _I thought. _Please, please, Black, don't say yes!_

***~~~***

"Please, Pads?" James pleaded for the five thousand three hundred and fifty-seventh time in two days. Sirius scowled at him.

"No," he growled.

James glared at him. Obviously, his begging was doing no good. It was time for a change of strategy.

"Ar agreed," he said in a shame-on-you voice.

Sirius gave his friend and incredulous look. "She did not."

James grinned. "She did. She agreed to it for Lily and me. She's a _good _friend," he said with a raised eyebrow, apparently trying to give his mate a hint.

"Well good for her," Sirius hissed at him as he turned his focus back to the Liquid Silver Solution they were supposed to be brewing for Slughorn. As of yet, it was a gold color, whereas Remus and Peter, a few tables away and on the exact same step as the other two, had turned theirs a perfect silver hue. Artemis and Apollo, the only Slytherin and Gryffindor to be able to work together, had also managed a perfect solution. "What the hell are we doing wrong?"

"Maybe it's that you're a bloody—" James started heatedly.

"James?" Both boys whirled around to stare at Artemis, who had left her own table where her brother was bottling their finished brew. She was smiling brightly, but they had a suspicion that it was completely false. James stared at her with the expression of a deer in the headlights, and Sirius snarled at her like a manticore in the headlights.

"Ye-yes?" James stuttered. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Way to be a man, Prongs," he muttered under his breath, again turning back to their potion. James elbowed him and grinned at Artemis nervously.

"Yes, Ar?" he said, a bit more confidently. Artemis smiled wider.

"Could I have a minute alone with Black?"

Sirius twisted around again. "No," he barked. They ignored him.

"Oh, sure," James said, his grin true now that he knew he was in no danger. "I'll just go say hi to Lily." He sauntered off towards Lily and Olivia, another perfectionist pair, glancing over his shoulder at Sirius and Artemis nervously. When he was out of earshot, Artemis turned her back to him and glared at Sirius.

"You're going to Hogsmeade with me," she whispered, flexing her fingers viciously in front of her where James couldn't see. "I don't want you to, but you're going to, because I've been waiting since third year for James and Lily to get together and you are _not_ going to ruin it."

Sirius snorted. "That's a long time to wait for something that doesn't even affect you."

"I'm serious, Black," she spat, then paused and grimaced as if she'd realized she might as well had said his first name. She shook her head and narrowed her eyes at him dangerously. "You've got two days, Black, and if you haven't agreed to it by then, I swear to Merlin you'll wake up with no appendages. And I _mean_ no appendages, if you catch my drift."

Sirius winced, then smirked at her haughtily. "And what exactly would a _sweet_ little virgin like yourself want those for, hm?"

"Why, to stick them in a blender and force-feed them to you, of course," she said, smiling sweetly and striding away as Sirius shivered.

James returned within seconds, giving Sirius a quick look to establish that he was in fact still among the living, then grimaced at Sirius' pale color.

"You alright, mate?" he asked quietly, tossing beetles' eyes into their cauldron and stirring it quickly clockwise. "You look like you've been force-fed something awful..."

Sirius paled further, winced and shook his head at James. "No, I'm fine," he whispered in badly concealed horror.

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Sirius pointed at their cauldron. "Why the hell is it gold?" he groaned. "Why?"

"Maybe it's because you won't just help out your best friend, Pads. Maybe it's because you won't just go out with her."

Sirius gaped at him. "What are you talking about, Prongs?" he said irritably. "Why the hell would our potion care?"

"I dunno, but obviously it does! Maybe, if you agree to go with us, it'll be perfectly fine! Come on, Padfoot, please? Just do this one thing for me, and I swear I'll never ask you for anything ever again!" James knitted his fingers together in a prayer-like fashion and looked at Sirius with a pathetic expression.

"Yeah right," Sirius growled, not looking at him.

"Sirius!" Sirius sighed at looked at James, and then he sighed and glared at James.

"Fine," he snarled, "but I am _not_ holding her hand, I am _not_ buying her anything, and I am _not_ going to be nice to her."

James beamed at him brightly. "Thank you, Sirius! You're the best friend a man could ever ask for!" He patted his friend on the back and turned to look at the potion. He gasped.

The potion had turned bright silver, the most perfect potion in the class.

***~~~***

"Lily-kins!" James sang as he entered the common room, looking absolutely thrilled. I sighed, a foreboding chill settling in my gut. I hoped he wasn't about to ruin his best chance yet of going on a date with Lily. If he did, I'd have to beat him later.

Lily, meanwhile, was cringing against an annoyed-looking Olivia, looking terrified at the very sound of James' voice. She seemed as if she wanted to hide but had nowhere to go.

When James had located our cozy corner of the common room, he beamed at all four of us girls.

"Oh, no!" I groaned, covering my face with my hands. Lily gave me a confounded look, but I knew there was only one way that James could be quite this happy.

"What are you—" Lily started.

"OI, SIRIUS!" James yelled, gesturing violently at the portrait hole. "COME ON!"

I peeked through my fingers at Sirius as he joined us, appearing extremely peeved with his gray eyes avoiding my blue ones. James smacked his back playfully.

"Go on, Sirius!" he shouted jovially. Sirius plugged his ears.

"James, you don't need to shout! I'm right next to you!" he half-yelled back.

"That's enough! No more shouting!" Lily screamed at them both. They winced and James nodded quickly.

"_Go on_," he insisted, jerking his head in my direction.

"Why?" Sirius whined. "She already knows what I'm gonna say. Look, she's even crying!" He motioned towards my head, where my hands still hid my face.

"I am not," I retorted waspishly, giving him a dark look through my fingers.

"Could' a fooled me," he said with a grim smile.

James rolled his eyes. "Sirius! If you're going to do it, you gotta do it proper!" he complained loudly. Sirius snorted in response.

"I can't believe you're making me do this," he muttered darkly, shooting his best mate a glare. Then he turned his glare on me. "Hey, Gaunt, do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?" he asked with an obvious disinterest.

I drew a giant breath and shot Lily a scathing look. "I suppose so," I replied in a resigned sort of way.

Gasps sounded as people nearby realized what had just happened.

"Did Sirius just—"

"And she said—"

"No way!"

Mira and Olivia gaped at us in shock as the deal was sealed, though everyone probably noticed that we both seemed very annoyed with the proceedings. Or perhaps they were all too in shock to notice. Lily, meanwhile, was slumped back in her seat with a frustrated grimace. James looked at her expectantly.

"Lily?" he asked tentatively.

She flushed beet red. "N-no!" Lily cried. We all stared at her for a second; but then I was flooded with a horrible fury. I grabbed her forearm as she tried to escape.

"Lily Evans!" I bellowed, my grip becoming vice-like as she struggled against me. "I just agreed to go with Black! Now you're going to go with James whether you like it or not, or I swear—" I paused, realizing all of a sudden that everyone was staring at us with wide eyes, attention drawn by my shouting. "Er..." I said stupidly, my brains suddenly having been switched off.

James looked terribly red, but I couldn't figure out if it was from embarrassment or from anger.

"Let go of Lily, Ar," he said quietly and calmly. I promptly relinquished Lily's arm, shot them all a very dirty look, and stormed off up the stairs to our dorm, followed by Mira. Seconds after we were inside, Melanie stomped in.

"Gaunt!" she screamed, looking immensely furious, possibly to the point of murder. "What the hell do you think you're playing at?"

It was all too easy to figure out what she was on about.

"Oh, sod off, Jordan!" I snapped venomously. "You know I don't even like him! I'm not going to bother explaining myself to the likes of _you_!"

Melanie hissed like an angry cat and took a step towards me, but she seemed to rethink attacking me because she turned on her heel and stomped back out. I barely had time to wonder what she could be plotting to get revenge when Lily entered the room. She looked at me guiltily and opened her mouth to speak.

"No!" I snapped. "I don't want to hear another word out of your mendacious mouth! You _promised_ James you'd go with him if I went with Sirius!" Lily cringed.

"I didn't think you'd actually agree..."

"That doesn't make a bloody difference! The fact remains that you told James you wouldn't go unless I went, I've agreed to ceaseless self-torture for you, and now _you're_ trying to back out!"

"So that's what that was about?" Mira gasped, staring at me with eyes as large as saucers. I rolled mine at her.

"No," I replied sarcastically. "I really want to go to Hogsmeade with _Black_!"

Mira blushed and nodded quickly to avoid further scathing remarks. "But, Lily, I've never known you to break _your_ promises..."

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not perfect!" Lily snapped, marching to her four-poster and wrenching her bed curtains shut.

***~~~***

The next morning, Lily and I were still in foul moods. As soon as I was awake, I quickly left the dorm, not wanting to start something with Lily so early in the morning. At breakfast, I forced Mira to sit with me next to James and the other guys, much to the displeasure of Melanie, who was apparently still working hard at her goal of wooing Sirius. All of the guys gaped at me blankly.

Well, all of the guys excluding James. James didn't seem to even notice that I was there. He sighed heavily every other minute, and he didn't eat any of the food his friends pushed at him.

I ate my porridge silently after giving the guys at threatening glare. James suddenly elbowed me in the ribcage, leaving me choking on my food. When I had regained my ability to breathe and had sucked in a great breath, I turned to James.

"Yes, James?" I sighed breathlessly, trying to calm the aggravated part of me in order to help him.

"Do you think I should just give up?" he asked, giving me his full attention and a profound look. I felt Sirius, Remus, and Peter turn their attention to me as well, and when I glanced at them, they had expressions similar to James'.

And I really wasn't sure how I should answer. As a friend to both James and Lily (even if I was furious with her), I wasn't sure if I should tell him that it was hopeless to continue to court Lily when she obviously had no intention of giving him a chance, or to give him some hope and confidence by encouraging him to continue his pursuit. It was obvious what James wanted me to say: desperation painted his face, and his hands were clenched into fists on the table. I chanced a second fleeting look at the other guys and noticed that Sirius was gazing at me with intensity, his lips in a tight line and his eyes narrowed dangerously. He looked a bit like McGonagall when someone accidentally transfigured his or her partner into a turtle with human legs. He seemed to be trying to communicate telepathically with me, but the signal was clearly being blocked because I had no idea what he was trying to tell me.

"Er..." I started hesitantly, still debating. When I continued to be completely gobsmacked, I sighed dejectedly. "I don't think you should," I said firmly, my eyes still locked with Sirius. Sirius gave me a barely perceptible nod, which I took to mean that I'd guessed right, though I was no longer concerned with what he thought. "Lily's a hard head. She's so stubborn and independent, but I think she'll come around." I smiled, remembering Lily's blush whenever I brought up James. "She likes you, she just won't admit it."

Mira kicked me under the table and hissed so that James couldn't hear, "What the hell are you talking about? Lily doesn't like James, remember!"

I smiled at her mysteriously. "She _thinks_ she doesn't like him. She just doesn't understand it yet."

Mira obviously didn't understand me. She gave me a baffled look, but I just grinned at her and waved her comments off. When I looked back at the guys, Sirius was watching me carefully. James, moreover, seemed to have regained some of his energy, though he perhaps was lacking the typical James Potter cheer; he was wolfing down some breakfast, nearly swallowing his toast whole, but his gaze had slipped over to Lily and Olivia. When he was finished, he stood up.

"You guys ready?" he asked, looking round at his mates expectantly. Remus and Peter nodded and stood, but Sirius remained seated. "Sirius? You coming?"

Sirius shook his head. "I'll catch up." He didn't elaborate, but he was still gazing at me steadily, giving the impression that he probably wanted to talk to me about something. I wondered vaguely if I could escaped, but I didn't have time because James said, "'kay, don't be late," and strutted off down the aisle, followed by Remus and Peter, both of whom looked over their shoulders at us curiously.

Then Sirius turned to Melanie. "Go away," he commanded bluntly. I snorted, but neither took notice. Melanie was too busy being horrendously offended.

"No!" she pouted, glaring at him like she was actually intimidating, which she wasn't.

"Fine!" he snapped, giving me a meaningful glare as he stood up abruptly and left the Hall, while Mira, Melanie, and I stared after him. In my head, I cursed them all for involving me in all these crazy schemes, and I tried to figure out how the hell he expected to get away with ditching me with Melanie and Mira. Out of my head, however, I said, "I, er, need to use the toilet, so, er, I'll catch up with you."

Mira opened her mouth to argue, but I had already jumped up and basically sprinted from the Hall, literally bumping into Sirius right outside the doors. He rolled his eyes at me and grabbed my arm, pulling me up the stairs to the first floor and down a mostly deserted corridor to a broom cupboard. He yanked the door open, shoved me inside, and slammed the door shut behind him. I tripped over a bucket as the light disappeared, gracefully falling on my ass.

"_Lumos_..." Sirius lit the end of his wand and held it up above his head. "What the hell are you doing?" he chuckled, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, sod off," I said stubbornly, jumping up before Sirius had the chance to see up my skirt. "It's not my fault you're shoving me into bloody broom closets."

His face turned pink in the dim light. "Right," he replied awkwardly. "Erm, listen, I need to ask you for a favor." I waited for him to go on, but he was now a bright red and had an immensely disgusted expression on his face.

"Are you going to spit it out any time soon? Class starts in about ten minutes, and it's in the North Tower. We really don't have time to sit here and gape at each other like morons."

His face darkened still further. "I want you to make Evans go with James." I blinked. Whatever I had expected, it wasn't that. I stared at him and he rolled his eyes. "Now who's gaping like a moron?"

I scowled and kicked the bucket I'd tripped over. "I'm going to. Make Lily go out with James. Even if I have to threaten to cut off all her limbs like I did you. After all, if threats work on an arse like you, I suppose they'd probably work on Lily too."

Sirius winced. "You should probably cut back on all the threats, Gaunt. You won't have any friends by the end of the year."

"Who needs friends?" I muttered quietly.

"Everyone," Sirius answer, ignoring the fact I'd been talking to myself. "Since you're terribly concerned about being late to class, you may want to run. You've only got five minutes to get all the way to Divination," he pointed out gleefully. I stared at him suspiciously.

"What about you?"

"Oh, does the spoiled little girl need an escort to class?"

I didn't dignify the accusation with a reply, and we stared at each other for a minute.

"Ah," Sirius said finally. "I'll take that as a yes, then. I'm not running though." I shrugged and pushed past him to the door, opening it and starting down the hall. I glanced at my watch and realized that we had barely enough time to make it to class—if we ran. I glanced back at Sirius, who was now following a few steps behind. Pursing my lips together, I stopped at the corner of the corridor and Sirius ran into me. "What the—"

"I'll race you."

He stared at me with a cautious expression. "What?"

"I'll race you."

"Okay..." he agreed, still staring at me like I was crazy.

"Great," I said in a bright tone. "Ready? Set... GO!" I yelled, taking off sprinting. Sirius was right behind me.

***~~~***

Lily glanced up at me as I joined her at our table in the Gryffindor common room. The look was fleeting; no sooner had she met my eyes than she turned right back down at the essay Professor Aurelia, the old bat who tried to teach Divination, had assigned us that morning. (Mine and Sirius' had to be an extra foot because we had been nearly three minutes late. It turns out that it's impossible to run across the entire castle in one long sprint, and it's definitely impossible to do it in less than five minutes.) Lily and I hadn't spoken at all today, but now that I'd recovered from the psychotic fury she had caused, I was still determined to force her on that date with James.

Lily, however, seemed intent on ignoring me. I repeated her name over ten times before she scowled up at me.

"What?" she asked acidly.

"Don't talk to me like that!" I snapped. Her look darkened and I took a deep breath through my nose to alleviate the massive anger that had risen. When I had regained my control over myself, I said calmly, "Si—" I paused and scowled. Sirius had insisted that using his first name would be more persuasive in the feat that I was attempting, but the name felt like something slimy and disgusting in my mouth; it felt a bit like chewing gillyweed. I coughed and Lily continued to stare at me, though now it was more amusement. "Si—er—Sir—erm—oh, for fuck's sake!" I exclaimed, collapsing into the chair opposite the redhead and massaging my temples.

"Black?" Lily said, trying to be helpful.

I took a steadying breath. "Sirius," I spat finally, then paused to grimace and gag, "and _I_... talked a bit," I continued slowly and wincing a bit more. "We've decided that you're going to Hogsmeade with James. Sir—ugh... Sirius said that I shouldn't threaten you, so I won't, but that really only leaves me one option." I swallowed painfully. "Lily, I'm giving up my pride, my bloody _dignity_, and _begging you_. Just go with him, just give him a _chance_?"

Lily hadn't said a word, and now she just gazed at me blankly.

"Do I need to get on my knees, Lils?" I asked, giving her the most pathetic look I could manage, an expression that I'd been practicing since Divination, when we were supposed to have been Seeing in the crystal balls (we were reviewing). Instead, I'd used mine, Sirius, and James' as a mirror to practice in. Oddly enough, Aurelia seemed to think that I was experiencing some sort of trance or something and congratulated me on Seeing the Future. I'd just smiled and nodded, but Sirius and James had been cracking up.

In any case, Lily jumped as if she hadn't even noticed that I was still there. "Er, no, no!" she yelped hastily, shaking her head and throwing up her hands. "I was just surprised is all. Not only are you giving up your pride for Potter, but you and Black are playing Matchmaker! Not to mention, I've never actually heard you call Black by his first name. It's all just... just a bit much, I suppose." She leaned back in her chair, looking thoughtfully up at the ceiling. She didn't continue.

I sighed. "_Well_? Will you give James a chance?"

Lily sniffed haughtily and looked back at me. "Yes, I suppose I should. It's not as though I have much choice."

"Great!" I said, jumping up.

"But," Lily went on in a hostile tone, "you and Black still have to go together."

I scowled but saluted her sarcastically and said, "Of course! A deal's a deal, I reckon. I'll go with Si—er—us—erm, well, you know who, and you'll go with James! It's a date!" I grinned. "Would _you_ like to tell him, Lils? I think you should, since you're going with him. I'll come with though, if you like." Lily gave me a tortured expression.

"I think you should tell him, since you're obviously very keen on it."

"Oh, no! Lils, you've got to tell him! After all, you're the one he likes. But, as I said, I'll come with you."

"But, I, er, I don't know where he is..." she said, coming up with any possible excuse she could think of.

"Well, lucky for you, I do. He's not busy," I interrupted before Lily could start, "I'm sure his mates won't mind much, and you look just fine! Now, come on!" I smiled, grabbing her by the elbow and leading her towards the boys' staircase.

"Wha-what? No, Ar, I can't go up there, that's the boys' dormitories! I'm Head Girl, I—"

"Oh, hush up, Lily, no one really cares!" I said, waving her complaints off as we entered the spiraling staircase and started up them for the boys' seventh. "Besides, boys like it when they have women in their rooms! It makes them feel special, appreciated like."

Lily stared at me as if she knew that I was making things up, which I was, admittedly. After all, I was a woman, not a boy, and there was no way for me to tell what boys liked. I generally stuck to the idea that men were utterly confounding and kept well away from secrets that had to do with the male mind.

Lily continued to gripe as we pushed open the door to the guys' dormitory and all six of the guys who slept there stared at us as Lily finally went silent. When no one said anything and the awkward silence went on, I finally decided that I'd better say something. What I chose, however, was hardly any better than the silence, though it was much more amusing.

"Look, James, I've brought you a present!" I yelled, waving Lily's arm in front of me. Sirius and Wes snorted simultaneously as Lily elbowed me painfully in the gut and Remus, Jon, and Peter chuckled. James just continued to stare at Lily. I rolled my eyes and slapped Lily's arm lightly, jerking my head at the dumbstruck fool. Lily seemed to take the hint. She cleared her throat and swallowed nervously.

"Ja—" she hesitated, a bit like I had stumbled over Sirius' name. "James," she coughed, then continued as if she'd never done, "I'd like to apologize for my behavior yesterday, and, er..." she gave me an anxious glance. "Erm, I'd be... I'd... I'll go to Hogsmeade with you," she muttered.

"Ah, see!" I said, patting her arm comfortingly. "That wasn't that bad was it, Lils?" Lily nodded slowly, glaring at me. James, meanwhile, was still staring, though his mouth and eyes were a bit wider. Sirius kicked his shin, and James instantly closed his mouth, biting his lip and glancing between Lily and I.

"Okay," he finally said slowly, as though this was a dream that he was loath to wake from. Sirius kicked him again. "Great," he yelped, wincing and glaring at his best mate.

"Great," Lily repeated. The awkward moment seemed to be stretching, so she mumbled, "See you at dinner," spun on the spot, and marched out the door, presumably back to her essay. I watched her go with satisfaction. I couldn't help but feel that four years' hard work was finally coming to fruition.

A sharp tug on the back of my hair returned my focus to the guys. I swatted Sirius' hand away and glared at him.

"What?" I asked them, for all six of them were gaping at me with various expressions. I rolled my eyes, copied Lily's "See you at dinner," and, with a small wave, tramped back down the boys' staircase to start my own essay.

**((A/N: REVIEW!!! Please...))**


	10. What Can Go Wrong, Will

**((Disclaimer: No... I don't own Harry Potter. I can only dream...))**

Halloween dawned brilliantly that Saturday, and I felt that even nature was with me today. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, it was unusually warm and there wasn't a breeze, and as the sun rose the sky turned from midnight blue to dazzling pink to a lovely azure. It seemed as if the day might be just perfect. The only problem, I thought as I arrived late to breakfast, was that Sirius was going to be present in a large part of _my_ day, and that thought was enough to conjure my own personal rain cloud. Well, really, the day was so perfect that the rain cloud hadn't actually started raining yet. I had spent as much time in the girls' dorms getting ready as possible, changing and re-changing my clothes, thus the reason I was late and the reason I was still in a cheerful mood.

I took my seat between Lily and Mira at the Gryffindor table and pulled a golden plate my way, grabbing some eggs and toast as well.

"There you are," Lily said, relief coloring her countenance. "I was worried you weren't going to show..." She raised her eyebrows.

I snorted and took a bite of my food so that I couldn't respond. Mira rolled her eyes.

"Potter and Black already went back to the common room. They said they'd wait for us there."

Having swallowed my food and containing no strong desire to speak of the task before me, I said, "Where's Olivia?" Lily answered by looking down the table, where Melanie and Olivia were huddled together and chatting with dark looks. I gaped at them. "Since when—"

"No idea," Lily said. "Just, this morning, she walked straight past us and sat down with Melanie."

The pair of girls glanced over at us as if they knew we were talking about them, though this was impossible because they were well out of earshot. I rolled my eyes as Melanie glared at me. At the same time, I noticed that Melanie was not the only one. A lot of girls were huddled together, no matter what table they were at. They were muttering quietly to each other and were glancing at me occasionally, most of them with angry expressions, some with vaguely interested ones. For a second, I wondered if I had something on my face; then I realized why I was receiving so much attention.

"They're all just jealous," I said out loud, shrugging at Lily and Mira and returning to my breakfast. The other two had not noticed the rest of the girls, but now they did and Lily scowled around them. I grinned at her. "And I'm sure that I'm not the only one their jealous of. You know, Black and James _are_ notoriously popular with women, even if _we_ hate them."

"I don't understand. Why would anyone _like_ Potter? Or Black? They're both arrogant, pompous little bastards and _I _certainly wouldn't want to go with either of them."

I laughed. "And yet here we are, preparing for our dooms." I raised my goblet and proclaimed, "To Lily, whose life will end the second she goes up to the common room and realizes truly that she is about to go on a date with _the_ James Potter!"

Lily snorted as Mira raised her own goblet and said, "Lily." Then she picked up her goblet of orange juice and said, "To Artemis, the crazy witch who tricked me into going on a date with _the_ James Potter by agreeing to go on a date with _the_ Sirius Black, thus agreeing to end her own life!"

I sighed dramatically and drunk to my fate.

"Well, I do hope you'll survive the day, ladies, because I have been told that the Halloween feast is going to be most scrumptious this year!"

I jumped out of my seat and sprayed my pumpkin juice over what remained of the food on the table. "Pro-Professor Dumbledore!" I choked, glancing over my shoulder at the headmaster himself. He smiled and chuckled at my horrified expression.

"I think you'll find that your dooms are getting impatient and are waiting in the entrance hall, as opposed to your common room. You may also find that it may not be as horrible as you'd anticipated, if you only put your doubts behind you. Now, off you go, before Mr. Potter and Mr. Black get bored and blow something up." Without another word, Dumbledore wandered off, stopping occasionally to startle another lingering student. Lily, Mira, and I stared after him, but Lily snapped out of her confusion fairly quickly.

"He's right, you know. If we don't hurry up, they just might blow something up." She stood and indicated that I should do the same. "Mira, are you—"

"I'm going, yes, with Hyper, if you can believe it! Maybe we'll run into each other? I'll see you two later." She stood as well and gave me a nervous look. "Er, have fun, and, er, don't do anything, you know, _rash_..."

"I'll try..." I muttered, but she was already hurrying away to find Hyper, so Lily grabbed my elbow and steered me toward the entrance hall. Once there, we saw that Dumbledore had indeed been correct: the two guys were waiting for us by the marble staircase, dressed in their casual jeans and t-shirts. I noticed James' eyes survey Lily's outfit with interest; her eyes narrowed suspiciously when he hesitated for a second too long on the hem of her knee-length ebony skirt, but it was only for a second. His eyes returned to Lily's green ones as he offered his hand to Lily. She glared at him, but I was pleasantly surprised when she took his arm. He grinned and led the way across the hall.

Sirius, meanwhile, was staring at me with badly concealed disgust.

"Not very keen on this, are you?" he said, eyeing my ratty red t-shirt and worn jeans with a sharp look. "Not a very attractive choice of clothing. You'd think you could afford some _nice_ clothes."

"Well, I'd hate to tempt you, Black," I said with a nasty smile. "I really was more aiming for comfortable than _attractive_."

"As if you could pull off attractive anyway." Lily and James were glancing back at us nervously now as we followed them out the front doors and into the courtyard, where the caretaker, Mr. Filch, was checking off students who were leaving.

"At least I can do better than you," I mumbled, but at the same time, perhaps lucky for me, the clock tower began chiming ten o'clock and very little could be heard. Sirius just scowled at me and didn't say anything else as we walked down the path to the gates a few steps behind Lily and James.

"James?" I asked as we entered the village. No one else was really saying anything, and the entire situation was beginning to make me feel rather strained. James looked at me over his shoulder. "Where are we going?"

He smiled and instant dread filled me.

"No!" I groaned, suddenly getting the urge to hurl. Sirius snorted.

"But, Ar, it's just for a bit of tea, I don't really see why you don't—" but now Sirius had paled considerably. He shook his head very quickly. Lily was the only one who didn't seem to understand.

"Where?" she asked, looking adorable when she was confused, which was an expression not usually seen on Lily Evans' face.

"Madam Puddifoot's." Lily blinked and positively glowed.

"I love Madam Puddifoot's!" Lily exclaimed. "She serves the most excellent tea! And it's such a delightful little teashop!"

James grinned and looked back at Sirius and I again. "Sirius? Artemis?"

And Lily glared at us with a look so malicious that we really didn't have much choice.

When we entered the small shop, I nearly gagged. The place was not nearly as bad as it had been last time I'd seen it, when it had been decorated for the students visiting Hogsmeade the day before Valentine's Day; however, it was still horrendously disgusting. Couples sat at small tables, drinking teas and coffees and holding hands or snogging each other's brains out. The tables were all decorated with what I called _fluffy_ colors: pinks, purples, soft blues and greens; most of them held small vases of flowers. Grimacing, I followed Lily, James, and Sirius to a table in the corner, one with a soft pink tablecloth and a bunch of frilly purple flowers that were unknown to me.

"Disgusting," I muttered under my breath as I slumped in my chair.

The only positive thing about the place was that Sirius was quite obviously as disgusted as I was. He was scowling across the table to where James and Lily sat arguing about James not releasing Lily's hand.

"What can I get for you, dears?" Madam Puddifoot herself was standing next to their table, looking amused at the struggle that was occurring and at the stony faces of Sirius and Artemis. Lily immediately stopped fighting with James and smiled at the woman widely. James smirked smugly as he held Lily's hand tighter.

He was allowed to hold her hand until everyone had ordered and Madam Puddifoot had sauntered off to get their drinks. At this point, Lily shot him a glare and he released her, though he looked very morose about having to do so. He muttered an apology, another surprise, but continued to gaze at her steadily. None of us said anything. Eventually, predictably, I grew bored with the lack of conversation and the lack of anything to look at, so I focused the flowers in front of me.

They were a violet shade, though striped with a plum color every few centimeters. The flower grew bigger around the outside, causing it to droop down over the table, but still looking rather beautiful at the same time. Leaning closer, I saw that the thick purple petals were all connected and that there were thin silver rods protruding from the middle of the bloom.

"What are you doing?" Sirius hissed in my ear.

I jerked away from him, nearly falling off my chair in the attempt, and ignored his laughter as I straightened myself up in my chair.

"That wasn't funny!" I growled, giving him a dirty look. James and Lily looked nervously between the two of us.

Sirius snickered. "Actually, it was. I've never seen anyone as interested in _weeds_ as you, Gaunt!"

Heat crept up the back of my neck and into my cheeks. "W-weeds? They aren't weeds, Black! They're _plants_, and they're a hell of a lot better to be around that you are!"

Sirius suddenly changed: his amused look become something dark and anger painted his tone. "They're only better because they can't tell you how much they hate you, unlike me and, oh, say, every other person in Hogwarts! If you like your stupid _plants _so much, maybe you should go live in the forest! If we're all lucky, maybe you'll get eaten by a werewolf," he snarled viciously.

There was silence as I tried to think of a retort, but nothing came to me. Everything that did I forced to the back of my mind. Lily's first date with James, I reminded myself. That's why I was doing this. That's why I was going to sit here and try to forget what Sirius had just said. My jaw clenched tightly, painfully almost, as Madam Puddifoot returned with our drinks. She set my coffee in front of me and I concentrated on nothing but the cup.

***~~~***

Sirius was seriously tempted to transform into a dog right there. The world just seemed so much less complicated when he was Padfoot, as opposed to when he was Sirius, and right now complicated just about summed it all up. However, revealing the fact that he was an illegal animagus in a crowded shop in the middle of Hogsmeade was probably _not_ the best idea at the moment, especially because Artemis and him were already screwing up his best mate's first date with the woman he loved. Shaking his head, he focused on the coffee that Madam Puddifoot had just placed in front of him, and then realized that Artemis was doing the same thing and turned his gaze to James.

"Where are, er, where are Remus and Peter?" Lily asked, her voice shaking a little from an emotion that Sirius couldn't identify. He suspected, however, that she was either angry or nervous. Artemis continued to stare at her coffee and Sirius continued to stare at James.

"Er, well, Remus said he was feeling a little ill, so he's stayed behind, and Peter didn't want to come by himself..." James answered when it became obvious that Sirius had no intention of responding. Lily nodded, sipping her tea. "Er..."

"First Quidditch is in a few days," Lily pointed out, more to the entire table than to James. After all, the other three were all in Quidditch. Surely, one of the other two would respond.

Neither looked away from the object they were staring at. James, who was starting to get creeped out by Sirius' never-ceasing gaze, kicked Sirius under the table. Sirius' facial expression didn't change; he was too focused on the tip of James' nose to concern himself with the pain in his shin. James seemed to find this aggravating; he changed tactics, snatching a buttered crumpet from the tray and tossing it at his face. This caused a bit more reaction, much to James' pleasure. Sirius wiped the butter from his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Sorry, didn't catch that..." he muttered, still glaring at James nose as though he were offended by it.

"Quidditch, Sirius," James said helpfully. "Next Saturday."

"Yeah, we're, er, looking good. Got it in the bag," Sirius said.

Another thump under the table: Lily had followed James' lead and kicked Artemis.

"Ought to be interesting," Artemis said with a hint of pain in her voice. "Definitely going to win, though."

James and Lily shared a glance, and then looked at their friends. Both had opened their mouths to say something, but Artemis interrupted.

"Course, that means that Sirius will have to apologize before then." Her gaze had risen to the ceiling now, but the look was identical to Sirius'. Sirius, however, had turned his stare onto her. James and Lily now looked horrified. This date was definitely not going the way they'd thought it would.

"Have to what?" Sirius whispered threateningly, his eyes narrowed and his jaw stiff.

"You heard me, Black," Artemis snapped.

Sirius snorted. "The day I apologize to you will be the day hell freezes over! And besides," his voice dropped to a whisper, "I meant what I said."

His three companions gaped at him in shock, but Sirius looked only at Artemis. Emotions flashed through her ice-blue eyes: hurt, fury, some other things that Sirius couldn't possibly recognize, but lastly her eyes turned cold, as if suddenly the soul inside them had suddenly died. Sirius knew that he was being sadistic, especially since he knew he really hadn't meant any of it and would sorely regret it if she were to vanish, but he couldn't help feeling happy at all the pain and suffering in her eyes. James and Lily saw none of this; they were too busy staring with open mouths at Sirius' cold expression. They both knew what would come next, but Artemis seemed to be taking the situation quite coolly. Artemis slowly stood up, moving as if she were afraid the ground under her would collapse if she went to fast. Sirius' gray eyes followed her sluggish movement as she picked up her coffee cup and looked at Lily and James.

"Lily, James... I hope the rest of your date goes good," she said, raising her coffee up as if toasting them. "Sorry," she added, as if an afterthought. With an impish smile, she turned on her heel and poured her coffee on Sirius' shaggy black head, slammed the cup back onto the table, and stomped from the teashop with her head held high.

Lily had to fight the smile that wanted terribly bad to appear on her lips. James was still gazing at his friend, presumably shocked by both what Sirius had said and what Artemis had done. Sirius, however, was steaming. Literally. And resisting the urge scream. Artemis' coffee was still hot and his scalp felt like it was on fire. But aside from this, Sirius was also steaming on the inside.

He'd expected her to rant. He'd expected her to hex him. He'd expected her to turn either red or purple; either would have satisfied him. He'd expected her to storm out and she had. He had _not_ expected her to dump her hot coffee on his head, and now he was definitely sorry that he'd taunted her, because he felt like his skin was going to fall off and his hair was going to fall out. And he was hideously embarrassed by the fact that it had been _Artemis_ who'd poured her drink on his head.

Then the anger hit. Sirius was suddenly furious, his face was burning, and his head felt like it was going to explode. Artemis' cup cracked and Sirius' coffee began bubbling angrily.

"Sirius," James hissed across the table, wrenching Artemis' cup towards him. Lily seemed to have recovered her usual attitude. She leaned across the table, peering at Sirius around the vase of flowers.

"Go and find her," she commanded in a low voice. "Before she does something stupid."

Sirius stared at her. "What? She pours coffee on me, and _I'm_ the one who has to find her? To hell with that, Evans, you find her yourself!" Sirius snapped, jumping from his seat and tracing Artemis' path out the door.

Lily glanced at James, but James shook his head.

"They'll figure it out. Besides... he's going to find her anyways." Lily wasn't so sure, but his smug look inspired such confidence that she couldn't help but agree.

***~~~***

With every step I took toward the castle, my fury grew. By the time I reached the doors, I was fuming, seething with it. I wrenched open the door, earning the surprised stares of people in the courtyard and in the entrance hall and all the way up to Gryffindor tower. Thankfully, the common room was empty. I marched up the girls' staircase to my dormitory, also empty. I didn't really notice, though. I collapsed on my bed, burying my face into my pillow; it took my seconds, however, to realize that I was in no mood to bawl into my pillow. So instead, I stood back up and started pacing. I felt like I was going to burst, like my fury was filling me up, overwhelming me, like it was going to make me explode. I ground my teeth together furiously, scowled at Mira's bedside table, noticing something silver glinting at me...

But, something seemed funny. Something seemed out of sorts. Everything seemed to blur in and out of my focus. At once, everything faded away, and then ran back to me in a stream. I shook my head, trying to clear what felt like a heavy fog from my brain, but to no avail.

Quite suddenly, everything faded once again, but this time it didn't come back. I wasn't moving at all, but I was. I couldn't see or hear anything. I wanted to snort at the irony: I'd heard the phrase "blind fury" before, but this was rather ridiculous. I mean, really, who ever actually went blind with fury?

I was brought suddenly back from the black, the numbness, by a strange, strangled yell. As my senses returned to me, I saw someone peering at me with an expression of surprised fear and pain. Their black hair was plastered to their face, which was coated with a fine layer of sweat, and their blue eyes were wide as fat tears rolled down their pale cheeks. For a second, I stared into their eyes, entranced by the flicker of frustration that was apparent there.

Then I realized that the someone was myself, my reflection in Mira's mirror, and that the yell had been mine as well. Pain, agonizing pain, shot up my left arm. Slowly, my eyes fell downward, and a second cry burst from me, ending in an excruciating groan.

Mira's silvery scissors, the same ones she'd used to cut my hair, the ones that had been glinting at me from her small vanity, were now embedded about half an inch deep in my left forearm. My right hand was gripping the middle of the blades as if it had a mind of its own, and as I watched in horror my body pulled the scissors up for another attack on my arm.

_Blood, sweet blood_! the voice cooed in my ears, back from wherever it had been hiding during the past month. _Die, Artemis Gaunt..._

Realization hit me almost like someone had whacked me upside the head with a broomstick. Die, Artemis Gaunt? I knew for a fact that I did _not_ want to die, and I definitely didn't want to kill myself. Logically, therefore, the voice in my head could not be mine.

Someone else was inside my head.

This epiphany led me to regain control of my limbs. The voice in my head hissed as the scissors fell to the floor, leaving deep red droplets on the already scarlet carpet. I gripped my left arm, feeling the blood flowing between my fingers. My breathing was becoming more ragged as I forced the hissing to the back of my mind.

What was I supposed to do? I should _not_ just stand here, waiting for someone to find me. There was one conclusion that people would surely jump to: they would think that I was cutting, that I was suicidal, neither of which I was. However, people would probably think the same thing if I darted down the stairs bleeding, looking like I'd just stabbed myself. The fact that I had was irrelevant, as in truth I hadn't really stabbed myself. Someone else had done it using my body.

Wow, I was getting confused.

Looking wildly around the dormitory, I ran back to my bed, threw open my trunk, and shifted through my belongings, hoping to find something to bandage my arm with. When I found nothing, I tried to think of another plan. How did people do it when they had nothing to bandage a wound with? Acting on a whim, I stripped of my red t-shirt and tore it into strips, fusing them together and binding them around my arm firmly with my wand (the shirt was old and red; I figured no one would guess that I was bleeding if they happened to see it). That done, I pulled on a newer shirt, a sea green tunic-style shirt with long sleeves that would cover my arm. I wished strongly that I had a potion to drink for the pain, but of course, I had no such thing.

Instead, I set to siphoning the blood from Mira's scissors and from the vanity and the carpet. Finally, the room was satisfactory enough that no one would be able tell that there had been blood anywhere and I knew that no one would figure out what had happened. I looked down at my arm, still bleeding and still painful though hidden under layers. Maybe Madam Pomfrey wouldn't ask what had happened? I could always say that I'd tripped and impaled myself on a stick or a rock or something...

Deciding that this was the best option, as the pain was horrendous and I was starting to get rather nauseous, I started down the stairs, still grasping my arm as if it were going to fall off. I stepped off the bottom stair and into the common room, and then instantly recoiled when I saw Sirius, sitting in the armchair closest to the door, which had been pulled around to face the girls' staircase. Sirius was lounging in the armchair as though it was a throne, but he straightened up a little when our eyes made contact. I released my arm and shrank back into the shadows while Sirius' gray eyes bore into mine. I wondered briefly if he could see the pain in my expression, and I also remembered that I was absolutely furious with him. Then he spoke.

"S'wrong with you?" he said, giving me a suspicious look, as though my being in my dormitory was something heinous. I winced, wondering if he'd seen through me. "You changed your shirt," he said factually after a minute. When I only replied by scowling at him, he said, "That one's much more appealing."

I had to work extremely hard to keep my face impassive (I wasn't sure if I wanted to glare or to smile, oddly enough), and to keep myself from strangling him (he was such an ass). I breathed deeply through my nose, concentrating on the pain in my arm, so that I couldn't rise to the bait he was setting for me. But I couldn't look away from his gray eyes. I couldn't tell what was running through his mind, but I saw his brain working, analyzing behind those silvery orbs, trying to figure out what I was up to.

With no retort to respond to, our silence continued while we stared into each other's eyes (it sounds rather romantic, doesn't it? It wasn't). Finally, when my legs started to complain at me because I'd been standing in the doorway so long, and the strangeness of the situation began to aggravate me, I glared at him and asked in an annoyed tone, "What are you doing?"

He shrugged and continued to stare at me. I huffed haughtily and moved toward the portrait hole, but Sirius was already there in front of me.

"Where are you going?" he asked nonchalantly.

"To live in the forest," I snapped caustically, losing my patience as my arm throbbed. "If you're lucky, I'll get eaten!"

His eyes widened as I attempted to dodge around him, but I obviously hadn't stunned him as much as I thought I had because his hand reached out to grab mine. I gasped at the pain as he (ironically) seized my arm exactly where it hurt the most. Sirius looked even more baffled at my outburst, but he loosened his grip regardless.

"What's wrong with your arm?" he inquired quietly, and I knew that he knew, or at least he _thought_ that he knew, what had happened upstairs.

I responded with a cold and defiant look, which was probably not the most convincing reaction, but I couldn't think of anything to say. His look grew withdrawn and he allowed me to pull my arm away from him. I walked out of the portrait hole, glancing back as the Fat Lady closed behind me. Sirius watched me go with that mysterious expression still on his face.


	11. The Shirt Bandit

**((A/N: Yes! I'm updating a bit early. You see, my internet will be down until Friday, as I'm in the process of moving. As a result, I may not be able to post this week and possibly next. So I thought I'd take advantage of this time that I have and post! In any case, don't forget to review!! (Reviews make me happy!!!) And I hope you like it!))******

**((Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Sadly... or maybe happily?))**

When I entered the Great Hall that evening for the Halloween feast, it was only to be pulled right back out. I was dragged across the entrance hall, shepherded into the dungeon corridors, not very surprising seeing how my Slytherin brother was the one doing the shepherding. When we were safely shut away in an empty dungeon and Apollo had lit some torches with his wand, my twin turned to face me.

"Temmy, are you okay?" he asked outright with a serious look. That was my brother: he liked to get a look at the big picture, always jumping straight to the point. Of course, he adored finding out all the small details; he just thought the overall was a bit more important. That was why he was going to be a great journalist, in my opinion anyway. I couldn't help but smile at the old nickname.

Apollo and I, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, were twins, and we existed as positive evidence to the whole freaky twin bond thing. We weren't what I'd call telepathic, but we could sort of tell when the other of us was experiencing extreme emotions or was in pain or danger. No wonder Apollo was looking so serious and worried. I'd had all my bases covered that afternoon.

"I'm fine now, Olly," I said, mostly truthfully. After I'd left Sirius, I'd hustled up to the hospital wing, hoping that I would meet no one, especially not any teachers, on the way there. I didn't, and Madam Pomfrey had healed my arm instantly, accepting my cock-and-bull story about falling without question, but staring after me with suspicion. I was still indescribably angry about everything that had happened that day, and perhaps a little scared if truth be told, but the fact that Lily hadn't returned from Hogsmeade until later in the afternoon brightened my mood considerably.

Apollo, however, was not persuaded. He gave me a look that said plainly, I-know-you're-lying-to-me-so-spill. I glared at him, but the look persisted.

And I talked. Everything came out, from all my problems with Sirius Black to the voice in my head that wasn't mine and wanted me dead. I told him about James and Lily and about how I'd stabbed my arm. The explanations took all of twenty minutes, and we were now missing the feast, but Apollo didn't seem to care much. He gazed at me with a thoughtful scowl, his lips forming a line to rival Professor McGonagall's in her most foul mood and his blue eyes, so like my own, narrowed and expressing apprehension.

"Maybe..." he finally started, but he hesitated. "Legilimency?"

I frowned and considered it. "The voice? It's possible, I reckon. It seems more like the Imperius Curse though, the way it controlled me."

"But who could—"

"I dunno," I interrupted, shrugging before he could even finish his sentence. He went silent, still staring at me ponderously. After another ten minutes had passed, he sighed.

"Looks like we have some research ahead of us," he sniggered. I rolled my eyes and he shrugged. "As for Black, I can take care of him for you." His tone was rather sinister, and a shiver ran down my spine. I snorted, but he could see my discomfort and laughed at me.

"I can take care of him myself!" I whined, crossing my arms and glaring at him. "I'm not a baby, you know!"

"Okay," he conceded, but he was giving up way to easily. He was about as stubborn as I was, but he didn't give me time to figure out what he was plotting, as he continued: "We should get up to the feast before everyone eats all the food. I'm starving!" He didn't wait for me to respond, grabbing my newly healed arm and yanking me back up to the Great Hall. As he headed off to the Slytherin table, he called, "Library, Monday, after last lesson!" And then he had disappeared into the black mass at the Slytherin table. I myself headed for the Gryffindor table and took a seat next to Mira, across from Olivia and Lily. I was greatly pleased to see that we were sitting next to the Marauders, and James and Lily were sitting next to each other. They weren't talking to each other, but even them being so close in proximity was positively a miracle. The only bad thing was that Sirius was sitting on James' other side.

I instantly started piling food onto my golden plate while Lily, Mira, and Olivia watched me.

"Is something wrong?" I asked before starting on my thick, juicy steak. They exchanged looks full of meaning before looking back at me.

"Just having a little family reunion, were you?" Mira asked, watching me eat with a disgruntled expression. I sometimes ate like the guys did: stuffing food into my mouth constantly. However, unlike the guys, I didn't talk with my mouth full, and I felt no need to answer regardless, so I shrugged in response.

"You know who he hangs out with, right?" Lily put in, staring at me with intense concentration.

I swallowed and scowled at my friends. "Yes, I'm sure I do, seeing how—"

"He hangs out with Snivellus," James interrupted, joining our conversation without being invited. He cringed when Lily glared at him furiously. "Er, I mean Severus Snape. And Avery and Nott and a bunch of other guys who will probably end up Death Eaters when they get out of Hogwarts."

I turned my glare and James, and I saw that Sirius and Peter were listening to the exchange as well. I tapped my fingernails on the table in irritation and took another bite of my steak to stop myself saying something I would regret.

"Not to mention about half of Sirius' family—" Peter began, but he cut himself of as Sirius sent him a withering look.

"The point is," Lily said, rolling her eyes at the guys, "that he's a Slytherin, and the crowd he hangs out with—" her voice died in her throat as my fork was embedded in the center of the table, mere inches from her hand, and everyone stared at the glittering golden utensil.

"I suggest," I growled dangerously, "a change of subject."

Mira, Olivia, and Peter nodded quickly, and even James and Sirius looked a tad nervous, but Lily remained undaunted, staring back at me defiantly.

"And I suggest," she retorted, "that you don't go around sticking forks in the table, because that vandalism. As I was saying, it's not exactly good for you to be seen with him, at least not by... well, by anyone really. Your reputation is getting rather fragile as it is, you know. Hanging around with Slytherins degrades the sense that you're..." she paused thoughtfully, "_honorable_."

I leaned over the table. "If you think I'm going to stay away from my brother just because it 'degrades my honor,' you are sorely mistaken," I hissed maliciously, earning shocked glances. "Of course, I understand if you don't want to get sucked into it, you know, for the sake of your '_honor_,' so maybe you ought to steer clear of me; after all Heads and prefects shouldn't have friends who aren't _honorable_." I shoved my plate away from me, my appetite lost, while the seven of them stared at me, and I almost believed that they would listen, almost wanted them to leave me be. But Lily shook her head, looking rather flustered.

"That's not what I... I didn't mean..." she mumbled, and her embarrassed attitude made me feel immensely guilty. I flushed beet red.

"Sorry," I muttered, looking down the table in the guys' general direction. "I'm having a bad day." I looked back at Lily, and out of my peripheral vision I saw Sirius look away. Lily nodded at me.

"I'm sorry, too. He's your brother, we shouldn't..."

Just then the food disappeared and was replaced by the desserts. We dined in silence for a while, and then, as James and Lily reached for the same tray of éclairs, I remembered that I hadn't asked about the rest of their date yet.

So, suavely as I could, I said, "So... how was your date?"

Lily and James both turned bright red; Lily knocked over her pumpkin juice as she went to take a bite of her éclair, spilling it onto a platter of pastries, and James started choking on his as his elbows slipped off the table.

"Er," Lily commented.

"Erm," James added.

"It was—"

"Okay. After you and Sirius left—"

"We went to Honeydukes and James—"

"I bought some chocolates and candies—"

"We got some for you two too, of course, and then—"

"We went down to the Three Broomsticks and got—"

"Got some butterbeer and talked a bit about our duties as Heads and stuff—"

"Then we came back up to the castle to get ready for the feast."

They glanced at each other, then quickly looked away, both blushing scarlet. I smirked smugly, snacking on some mouthwatering chocolate pudding and looking between them contently. At least something good had come of this terrible day: Lily and James were certainly not being as chaotic as usual. It was a relief, because so much had happened that day that I didn't know if I could possibly stand anymore.

Lily quickly made an attempt to change the subject and I allowed her to without complaint. I really wasn't in much a mood to talk anyways, so instead I sat back with my pudding and éclairs and listened while the others chatted lightly.

"Hey, where's Remus?" Mira asked, and I frowned as I realized that, indeed, Remus was not present. The boys didn't miss a beat; well, Peter did, looking nervously at Sirius.

But Sirius said confidently, without hesitation, "Hospital wing. He wasn't feeling well."

The other girls made sympathetic noises and returned to their desserts, not questioning the explanation, but something about it gave me a nagging sense in the back of my mind (not the voice, thankfully), and it told me that Sirius was lying. I silenced the nagging as the plates cleared for the second time and Dumbledore stood, wishing us a Happy Halloween and sending us all off to bed.

It wasn't until later, when I was wrapped in my blankets, cozy in my four-poster, relieved that no one had noticed anything out of place in the dorm, that I realized what was wrong with Sirius' lie.

I'd been in the hospital wing before the feast.

And Remus Lupin had not.

***~~~***

It was the last Quidditch practice before our first match, and the weather was once again flawless. It was almost uncannily perfect. All the students were taking advantage of the weather and venturing outdoors, and it was excellent conditions for Quidditch especially.

I caught the Quaffle as Sirius passed it to me, flying down the field at a breakneck pace, tossing the Quaffle to James, who hurled it through Silvia's goalpost. James flew over to Silvia to give her some pointers, leaving Sirius and I to toss the Quaffle back and forth. Sirius and I had reached an unspoken agreement: we weren't talking about what had happened that Saturday last week. We were pretending that it hadn't happened, but I could tell that we were both still upset about it. I, for one, was still furious with him, and I was trying _very_ hard not to let it show. We didn't speak, but that was typical, for the most part. I, in fact, completely ignored his presence except during Quidditch, and he, in turn, ignored me.

James rejoined us, grinning like a mad man just released to wreak havoc on the world. "Not gonna make it past her this time! It's your shot, Ar!"

Sirius passed me the Quaffle, giving James a curious look. I caught the ball, shrugged, and flew off down the field, dodging the Bludger Terry sent my way and tossing the big red ball towards the furthest hoop with all my might. This time, Silvia didn't let it through. James, who had followed me down the pitch, whooped and shot Silvia an encouraging grin, and then told Sirius to take his shot (we had to make sure both of us got the same amount of practice time or all hell would break loose). Silvia caught his too, grinning herself now.

"Excellent!" James yelled, blowing his whistle. The team converged around him. "I think we're about as good as we can be by tomorrow. We're definitely going to kick some Slytherin ass!" I cheered along with the rest of the team as we dismounted and sauntered into the joined portion of the locker room as one. After a cheerful, optimistic, and typical James speech about how awesome we were, the three of us girls headed to our locker rooms to change.

I pulled on my jeans and reached for my shirt, but just as my fingers closed and the blue cotton material, the door to the room burst open and Sirius Black and Wes O'hare were standing in the doorway. I froze and stared at the two with wide eyes, and I heard Silvia and Terry do the same behind me.

"Silvia, James says he wants to give you—" Sirius cut himself short at a completely unnecessary nudge from Wes, both guys' eyes widening at the sight of three half-naked girls. It was silent for a matter of minutes.

And then Silvia and Terry shrieked, jumping for something to cover themselves with; the sound brought me back to my senses, making me realize that Sirius' and Wes' gazes were glued to my black bra. My face grew hot and I did the first thing I could think of: chucked my shirt at Sirius' head (I was angrier with him at the moment than Wes, and it seemed to make sense; though in retrospect, it was rather stupid, as I now had no shirt). While Sirius struggled with the shirt, I picked up one of my Quidditch gloves.

"Get out!" I screamed, hurling it at Wes. It hit him square in the forehead (there was a reason I was a chaser, after all), which seemed to knock some sort of sense into him: he yelped, "Sorry," and sprinted out. Sirius, however, clearly had no intention of leaving. As he peeled my shirt off his head, he grinned mischievously, so I grabbed my other glove and threw it at him too. This only served to make him smirk wider, and that just infuriated me more. I grabbed my entire bag and flung it at him. It hit him in the chest with a satisfying sort of _thunk_. It was, again, not a great idea, looking back. Sirius waggled his eyebrows at me, collected my belongings, and walked out.

It was a second before the effects of these simple actions occurred to me.

I'd thrown my shirt and my bag at him. My robes were in my bag, not to mention all my Quidditch stuff and my wand. Sirius had taken all of it with him.

Bloody _hell_, I was a moron.

I groaned and plodded to the door, which the guys had left open, and peered out with a furious scowl. "Black!" I bellowed. "Get back here with my stuff or you are _dead_, you bastard!" The girls giggled behind me, but I ignored them. Silence was the only response I received, and I would have tracked him down if not for the fact that I didn't want any of the other guys to see me without my shirt on. Of course, half them already had... I was just about to plunge out to kill him when I saw something moving towards me. I barely had time for my brain to register that the something was a black t-shirt before it hit me in the face.

The smell of it nearly knocked me over: Sirius clung strongly to it, or at least his scent did. The odor made it obvious just whose shirt it was. I stared at it for a minute, fighting both the urge to vomit and the urge to cuddle with it (both urges were rather repulsive to me). I growled and called, "I said _my_ stuff, you—" but I couldn't think of a word bad enough to call him, so when there was once again no answer, I conceded defeat and returned to my locker. Silvia and Terry were gazing with wide eyes at the shirt that I still clutched in my hands.

"That's... Sirius' shirt!" they whispered reverently at the same time. I rolled my eyes at the brilliance of Hogwarts' fourth and fifth years.

"Yes, that's Black's shirt. Nice of him to give me something, I suppose, seeing how he just stole all _my _stuff," I growled a bit sardonically, glaring at the shirt before pulling it over my head. It was a loose, almost baggy, on me, but it wasn't terribly bad. I shuddered as the scent washed over me again, then picked up my trainers and pulled them on. "I believe that what those idiots were trying to say was that James wants to talk to you, Silvia."

Silvia nodded, staring at my torso with veneration. I rolled my eyes again.

"I feel very uncomfortable with you staring at my tits like that."

She turned scarlet and nodded, quickly turning to her own bag. Next to her, Terry also jerked out of her own trance, flushing nearly as red as her sister. I chuckled and bid them farewell, striding out of the locker room. Outside, James was waiting for Silvia calmly, but he did a double take when he saw me. He smirked.

"Er, you and Sirius—"

"Don't even start joking around, James, _where is he_?"

"I dunno, he finished before me... what did he—"

"Nothing, don't bother, I'll see you at dinner." And I marched away before James could say anything else.

Where would he go? I thought to myself desperately. I _needed_ that stuff!

As I entered the entrance hall, it occurred to me that it was dinnertime, and Sirius might be hungry. I turned sharply and entered the Great Hall, searching for Sirius' shaggy hair, but to no avail. Spotting Lily's flaming hair, I trudged over to her.

"Lils, have you seen Black? He took all my damn stuff! I swear I'm going to kill him!"

Lily swallowed her food and shook her head. "No, Ar, I haven't. Did you get a new shirt?"

"No! Can't you tell by the smell, it's horrendous! It's—"

"Sirius' shirt." I looked around at Melanie as she took the seat across from me with a sour look. "What are _you_ doing wearing it?"

"None of your business! I don't suppose you'd tell me where he was, so I'm going to—"

"That's the shirt he wore the first day we had sex."

Lily gagged, immediately choking on her new bite of food. I had the shirt half off before I'd even realized what I was doing, and then I hesitated.

The Great Hall was packed with students eating their dinner... and when I say packed, I mean _packed_ with students, not to mention staff. I was pretty sure that stripping in the Great Hall was against school rules. But at the same time, the shirt I was being forced to wear was utterly revolting to me at the moment, and I really didn't want to wear it any longer.

So, take the shirt off and face humiliation, the thought of being half-naked in front half the student body _again_, and almost sure detention, or live with the shirt, deal with the thought that Sirius had been wearing it _minutes_ before... you know, and cope with the pissed off feeling that seemed to have risen in my lower stomach.

I stood up and stripped the shirt off. Melanie, who seemed to have been enjoying my minute of internal struggle, burst out laughing.

"Well, you really _do_ wear plain underwear, Gaunt!"

I wanted to snarl at her, rip her to shreds, destroy every thought of her in the Hall, but it suddenly came to me: I had the perfect weapon, for once. I leaned over the table, a smug sort of smile on my face.

"Didn't seem to matter much to Black."

Lily started choking again, but Melanie's eyes widened, her mouth dropped open, and she looked like she was going to either hurl or scream at me. I smiled at the feeling of immense satisfaction the look gave me and walked out of the Great Hall, my head held high.

***~~~***

Sirius tucked the bag, minus the wand and the soft blue cotton shirt, safely into the loose floorboard he'd found under his bed in third year, then checked and double-checked to make sure that it wasn't visible. Then he crawled out from under his bed and began looking for another shirt. He had sent Artemis his, and now he was bare-chested. While he searched, he thought about Artemis.

Her left forearm, from what he had seen, had a scar on it. He wasn't positive, but he was relatively certain that it hadn't been there on Saturday. So was that it, then? Was she cutting herself? Or had it just been some accident? Maybe it had always been there, Sirius just hadn't noticed it? No, she'd definitely been in some sort of pain on Saturday; that much was clear by her gasp of pain when he'd grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving.

And then, of course, she'd probably gone and whined to her (somewhat) older brother. Apollo Gaunt had taken the liberty of confronting Sirius that morning, though he'd somehow done it without sounding as though he were actually threatening Sirius. Sirius still couldn't figure out how he'd done it, but at this point, it didn't really matter. Sirius' pondering was cut short regardless as the dormitory door opened with a loud bang. Sirius watched with a smile as Artemis stepped inside, face red, nostrils flaring, arms clasped behind her back, and... shirtless? Well, Sirius didn't mind much, he had to admit. He hated her, but even he couldn't deny that she was even more attractive without her shirt; but where was the shirt he'd sent her?

Sirius had no more time to ponder on her thin waist, ample breasts, pale white skin; Artemis was almost literally breathing fire, and if he didn't do something quick, she'd probably destroy the entire dormitory in search of her stuff. So he did something idiotic to catch her attention.

Like walked across the room and stood towering over her form with a smug look on his face. Artemis was clearly not impressed. Her look darkened as she glared across the half-foot difference between their heights. From this position, Sirius could see his shirt clenched in her hands, hidden behind her back.

"Need something?" Sirius asked, and he had to resist the urge to laugh when she snorted.

"Actually, yes! Give me back my clothes!"

Sirius pulled his face into the confused look he could. "What clothes?" He winced when she kicked his shin.

"The ones in my bag!"

"What bag?"

"The one I threw at you!"

"Well, why were you throwing it at me if you weren't giving it to me?"

Artemis didn't seem to know how to respond. She bit her tongue and stared over Sirius' shoulder.

"If you don't give me my bag _this instant_, I'm getting McGonagall," she said in a warning tone. Her eyes narrowed dangerously when he chuckled. "What?" she snapped. Sirius continued to laugh, however, tears coming to his eyes, and Artemis had just inhaled to start scolding him when he stopped. He wiped his eyes, and then looked at her again.

"Tell you what, I'll give you your shirt and, let's see..." he paused, knowing exactly what he was going to offer her, but wanting to draw out the moment. "Your wand? And you'll give me _my_ shirt. Deal?"

Artemis looked ponderous for a moment, then shook her head. "I've got a better idea. You give me my wand and I'll hex you and take the rest of my stuff."

Sirius smirked. "As tempting as that sounds, I'd rather stick to my way. Give me my shirt, you get your wand and shirt, we're both happy."

"No we're not! _Accio Wand_!" she yelled, pushing Sirius back a step.

To both their surprise, Artemis' wand flew towards them from Sirius' bedside table, where he'd placed it minutes ago. Acting on impulse, Sirius dove for it at the same time Artemis did. Colliding roughly and somehow ending up entangled on the floor, Sirius on top of Artemis, Artemis' wand flew over their heads. Sirius was about to lunge for it again, but then he realized how close they were: their chests were pressed close together, and he could feel her heart thundering just beneath his own pounding heart. Their skin was touching, and the feeling of her warm flesh against his own sent electricity, adrenaline, pumping through his veins. He wanted to pull away, but at the same time, he wanted these seconds, pressed together, to last an eternity. He couldn't tell how long they were there before he heard footsteps on the stairs. He jumped up as if he'd been shocked, and Artemis was up split seconds after. She threw his shirt on his head and lunged for her wand, and he leapt towards his bedside table, shirt dangling over his eyes, to grab her shirt. Throwing it to her, he pulled on his shirt, and she had only just got hers over her head before the door opened and James and Remus walked in.

Both guys halted in the doorway and looked from the flustered female, who didn't seem to notice that her shirt was on backwards, to the shifty male, pretending not to notice that his shirt was inside out. There was silence, an awkward quiet that stretched through seconds to minutes like an endless road that never seemed to take you any closer to the end.

"Er, I think we're interrupting something, Moony. Maybe we should—"

"Oh, sod off, Potter!" Artemis snapped, pointing a finger at him accusingly. Then she whirled around to face Sirius. "And _you_! If my stuff isn't back to me in the morning, I swear I'll knock you off your broom tomorrow!" Without waiting for a response, she stormed out, and all three teenage boys watched her leave with something akin to amusement written across their faces.

"So..." James began in an innocent tone, but Sirius was not fooled.

"Don't even think about it, Prongs!"

James shut his mouth in a small pout, but Remus decided to pick up where James had left off.

"Doing something naughty up here, Padfoot?" he asked, a smile tugging at his lips. "Not something _dirty_, I hope. Or at least not in my bed." And he strode off for said bed, tossing his bag onto his trunk unceremoniously. James laughed and headed for his bed. Sirius, however, look scandalized, his mouth hanging wide open and his eyes bulging, giving him a bit of a psychotic look.

"Padfoot, you may want to shut your mouth; that is, unless you're trying to catch something in there, in which case you'll be there for a while." Sirius snapped his mouth closed, glaring at James as he did so.

"That's just disgusting! The _only_ way I'd shag Artemis Gaunt is if she were the last, and I mean the _very_ last, woman on earth. I'd rather shag that Slytherin fifth year, what's-her-name Carrow. You know the one."

Remus rolled his eyes and James snorted.

"I thought you were 'physically attracted' to Artemis, or some bollocks like that? Doesn't that basically mean you _do_ want to have sex with her?" James asked, eyebrows raised, while Remus sniggered.

"Shut it, Moony! And _no_, that's not what it means, I don't go around fucking every girl who's attractive, you know!" This time James sneered and Remus snorted.

"You shagged Melanie Jordan," Remus pointed out.

Sirius couldn't come up with a proper response, so he mumbled something about the circumstances being different, which caused his friends to laugh harder. "_What_?" he groaned, scowling at them. "It _was_! I didn't hate her, and we were going out!"

"And that was it, right?" James said, giving his friend a you're-an-idiot look. "She was pretty, you were attracted to her, and you were dating; so you did it." Sirius flushed, but didn't deny it. He hadn't really felt any strong feelings for Melanie when they had had sex, but both of them had wanted to do it, so they had, one night after they'd managed to sneak away. "So the only difference is that you and Artemis aren't dating. So you really can't deny that you _do_ want to shag her. You're just too stubborn to admit it."

Remus smiled smugly as James folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against his bedpost. Sirius' complexion had reached a deep maroon by now, almost closer to purple than to red.

"I do _not_—" he hesitated when both the other guys shot him sharp looks.

"Padfoot," Remus began, "there's a point at which you have to admit that there's no more use for lies."

"And you've reached that point, mate," James said, clapping Sirius on the back. Sirius was silent, gazing at his two friends thoughtfully while he considered their unusual burst of insight.

"All right," he conceded finally, speaking slowly. "I—maybe I do. Want to shag her that is. I want to shag her. But I won't. I wouldn't; I mean, she's—you know." James grinned at his obvious inability to speak coherently. This only seemed to make Sirius angry, however. "I won't! I mean, she's attractive, and definitely shag-able, and the fact that she's a virgin only makes her more appealing, I suppose; but her _personality_! Her attitude is a positive turn-off and it doesn't help that she's related to Slytherin, _and_ she's more violent than a PMSing manticore."

James snorted at Sirius' comparison, but the sound went unnoticed as Sirius continued to rattle off everything that he hated about her. Remus and James watched him rant with entertained looks while he insulted everything from her family to her mediocre charms skills. When he finished, panting and sending his friends furious glares, James laughed. He quickly stopped when Sirius' glare darkened.

"Er, so if you weren't shagging up here, what _were_ you doing? She had your shirt on when she came out of the changing room, and now you're wearing it again."

"Oh, I stole her clothes."

There was a long silence while James and Remus stared at him in shock.

"You _what_?" James yelled, looking absolutely horrorstruck. "Merlin's left foot, no wonder she looked so bloody pissed!"

"You steal her clothes and then deny that you like her," Remus said, shaking his head in exasperation. "You're an imbecile, that must be it, you're just rather stupid."

"Sod off, Moony! She was the one who threw them at me, so I just took them with me."

James seemed to understand now, enlightened in a brilliant moment of epiphany. "You _didn't_!" he cried, leaning against his bedpost again with his forehead pressed against the cold wood, though he kept his eyes on his best mate. When Sirius nodded gleefully, James hit his head against the post with a loud clunk. "You idiot!" he groaned loudly. "When I told you to tell Silvia I needed to talk to her, I didn't mean go _into_ their changing rooms and tell her! I meant wait outside or knock on the door and yell it or something! Of course Ar would throw stuff at you, she was probably in the middle of changing, and here you are bursting into the room!"

Sirius smiled widely, his eyes slightly glazed as he looked back on the memory happily. "They were all in the middle of changing."

There was another clunk, then another, and another. Sirius and Remus watched James in bemusement as he continuously banged his head on the post. When he stopped, finally, he turned to look at them both with a slightly insane grin.

"I-I know!" he exclaimed to himself suddenly.

"Great..." Remus muttered, rolling his eyes and turning his gaze to the ceiling as though he had spotted something interesting there. "He's addled his brains now."

"I know! I can-I can fix this, there's still time! Padfoot," he said, turning to Sirius with that same mad look in his eye, "You have to give her back her clothes, her stuff, whatever she threw at you, as soon as possible! No, no wait, not as soon as possible, no, you've got to push it a bit, you don't want to look like you're scared of her, otherwise once you two start dating she'll think—"

"Whoa, whoa, wait a second!" Sirius yelped, alarmed by James' choice of words. "Who the bloody hell said anything about dating? This is Gaunt we're talking about, Prongs."

"But Padfoot, you _fancy_ her, you just don't—"

"Oh, hell, not this again! James, Remus, I do _not_, most definitely do _not_, fancy Ar—Artem—" he scowled at James and took a deep breath, then he hissed, "Artemis Gaunt! I don't fancy her, and nothing you do will change my mind!"

There was a silence after Sirius finished, and it seemed to stretch to infinity as he started at them and they stared straight back. James still had that silly grin on his face, but he just shrugged.

"Right, apologies, mate. But you really do need to give her her stuff back. I mean it!" he said, rolling his eyes while Sirius snorted. "Give it back to her, or I'll have to report you to McGonagall." He stared relentlessly at Sirius until the latter had nodded his assurance.

But Sirius didn't intend to give it up, or at least not all of it. After all, he'd taken it as revenge for having it thrown at him, but he'd thought of a better use for it now. Artemis Gaunt was a girl, and surely there was always something of interest to be found in a girl's bag.


	12. This is Blackmail

((A/N: I'M BACK!!! After long days of ceaseless torture and never-ending strife, I have returned! And as a bonus, I even have this shiny new chapter for you all as a gift! Hopefully, you enjoy it, sorry it's kind of short-ish, and please, pLeAsE, PLEASE, review! :D I do so love reviews, they are like the sunshine that brightens up my cloudy days!))

**((Disclaimer: I don't own boredom.... and whoever invented it wasn't very bright.))**

When I woke up the next morning, it took me a moment to remember the cause of my stress, though Sirius was naturally the first thing to pop into my head. Rising slowly and pushing my blankets off me, it all came flooding back to me. Sirius stealing my bag, refusing to give me anything but my shirt and my wand, and the fact that we had a Quidditch game in a few hours. At the last thought, nerves filled my stomach, but not as much as Sirius having my Quidditch stuff did. Would he give them back before the game? Well, I supposed James would make him; otherwise I couldn't play, which would obviously _not_ make James happy. But would I get all my stuff back? I wouldn't put it past Sirius to snoop through my stuff.

Well, now I was freaked out and worried, so instead of going back to sleep, impossible since the light of dawn was just starting over the mountains and streaming in through the curtains (I can never sleep when there's too much light), I dragged myself out of bed and looked around at the other girls. Lily was still asleep, cuddled with her pillow and mumbling something quietly in her sleep, though I couldn't hear whatever she was saying and I'm no great shot at lip-reading. Mira's bed curtains were drawn, and Olivia had her face pressed into her pillow. How she could breathe that way was beyond me, but I could see her torso rising and falling with each draw of air. Melanie was stretched out in her bed, curtains half drawn, her arms outstretched and face turned toward the ceiling. Silent as darkness, and still wearing the old purple t-shirt and gray sweatpants that made up my pajama attire, I stole down the stairs. The common room was empty, which was completely expected, and the only sound as I trekked across it was the quiet sound of small fire burning in the grate.

Wondering vaguely if Apollo would be awake, and at the same time knowing that he wasn't, I thought back on the past week. Our excursions to the library together were unfortunately not going unobserved. Gryffindors and Slytherins alike seemed unhappy with the fact that we were spending more time than was normal holed up there, and more than once, the Marauders and my friends tried to waylay me before I could meet up with my brother. Regardless, we'd still gotten a lot of research done, though none of it seemed to be very useful in my case.

We'd researched the Imperius Curse, but that didn't seem likely because while the voice was present in my head and was trying to persuade me to do things, it couldn't _make _me do things unless I completely lost control of myself. Also, the Imperius curse, once broken, resulted in _no _voice, and had to be re-cast upon the victim, and I was still hearing it in my head, encouraging homicide, and I was absolutely sure that no one had cast it on me recently.

We'd looked up stuff on Legilimency, mind reading, though that seemed to have very little to do with inserting thoughts into another's mind and more to do with reading another's mind. In addition, eye contact was almost always necessary, and a lot of times I was either alone or not looking in someone's eyes while the voice was present.

There was a little something on a thing called a Blood Bond. That, however, sounded more like the connection that Apollo and I had, and off the top of my head, I couldn't think of any of my kin who would want me to kill myself or others, and no one besides Apollo that I would share a bond with.

All of this pondering took place in the space of a minute, during which I was sneaking quietly up the staircase opposite the girls' staircase. When I reached the door marked "Year 7," I hesitated. They'd all be asleep, most likely, but if they weren't, or if they woke up while I was nosing around in their dorm, they'd want to know what exactly I was doing, and I wasn't keen on showing them how desperate I was for my articles to be out of Sirius' hands. But really, I didn't have much choice, because Sirius had my Quidditch robes and I couldn't change into them if I didn't _have_ them. I had just reached out to turn the doorknob and push the door open, but the door opened before I'd even touched it. The stormy gray eyes of Sirius Black widened when he saw me standing there, but returned to normal size as he looked over his shoulder and then pushed me back to give himself room on the landing. He shut the door behind him and turned to look at me with the smug expression that one comes to expect of him.

"Up a bit early, aren't you?" But I ignored him; I'd just noticed that my bag was slung over his shoulder, and his grip on the strap seemed to say that he didn't plan on handing it over easy. He noticed my gaze; his smug look got smugger. "Ah, I see."

"See what? How enormous a git you are?"

He just continued to smirk, taking off my bag and dropping it on the floor between us. I scowled at him.

"Couldn't just hand it to me, could you? Oh, no, course not. Why would you hand it to me? There's valuable things in there, so of course you had to drop it."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry, I took all the valuables out for you." He said it as if he thought I'd be pleased, but his malicious grin destroyed all semblance of servility. I did my best to keep a false smile on my face, even though my stomach had just dropped in horror as I tried to remember what all I had in my bag.

"Oh, so you took all my knickers then? I know how much you enjoy taking girls' knickers, after all." I was glad to see a pink tinge in his cheeks.

"You should talk," he retorted, and I felt my eyebrows rise above my hairline (perhaps that's a slight exaggeration...). I blinked a couple times, trying to come up with a suitable comeback. Sirius smiled, obviously thinking he'd won.

"You know, that was rather low, but then, I suppose you have to be low. How else can you worship the ground I stand on?"

"Well, you be careful or that big head of yours will drag you right down to my level."

"I'm pretty sure that's not possible."

"And I'm pretty sure you're already on your way down. I'll make sure to send you a postcard."

I snorted and bent over to pick up my bag, only to straighten up, red-faced, with a yelp when he grabbed my butt. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" I hissed, hoping I hadn't woken anyone up, as I didn't want anyone to ask what was going on.

"Couldn't resist, Gaunt. If you don't want people grabbing your ass, you shouldn't give them such easy targets."

I could feel my nostrils flare as I inhaled indignantly and he sneered at me. Before I could start on him for being an arrogant, pompous bastard, however, he sauntered down the stairs, looking awfully chipper as he went. I shrugged my satchel over my shoulder with a glare before following him down to the common room, which was still deserted. Sirius had seized one of the comfy armchairs by the fire, reclining in it with a small smile on his face. Ostentatious little toe rag...

I chanced a glance at the window as I crossed the room, trying to ignore him, expecting to see the clear grounds and the sun shining over the mountains. Instead, I saw puffy white snowflakes, flakes that hit the glass and became a giant glob of water.

"Fuck," I groaned. Sirius looked around at me curiously. "It's fucking _sleeting_!" Sirius looked at the window too, and his smile widened.

"It's a good thing you like a challenge then, cause that'll definitely make it interesting." He leaned back into his armchair and closed his eyes, smiling at the ceiling as though it were a good friend. I ignored him and trudged up the girls' staircase to our bathroom. Stripping down and turning the shower on, I scowled at the wall. Halfway through my shower, I heard someone else come in.

"Ar?" Lily's voice called, sounding as if she were still half asleep.

"Good morning, Lils," I replied, scrubbing my scalp and rinsing it of shampoo.

"Excited for the game?"

"Totally!" I said, though my heart jumped with nerves and my pulse quickened at the thought of the coming match against Slytherin. "It's sleeting."

Lily cursed as the water came on in the stall next to me. I chuckled. "The weather's been so nice lately. I guess it had to turn sooner or later."

"Yeah. So, Lils, are you gonna wish James luck?"

There was a soft _thump_ as Lily dropped her soap on the ground. "Er, I dunno, maybe if I see him..." she muttered so quietly that I barely heard her as she stooped to pick it up. I giggled. I could almost see her face turning pink.

"You guys gonna go on another date soon?"

"Are you and Sirius gonna go on another date soon?"

Now I dropped my conditioner bottle, resulting in a slightly louder _thud_. "Are you kidding? Lils, you saw—"

"I know, I know!" she laughed. "We don't need a repeat of last time!"

"You're telling me," I mumbled to myself, thankful that the stream of water enabled me to hide my voice. I shut off said stream, pulling my towel off the rack and wrapping it around me. I dressed in silence, allowing Lily to shower in peace. When I had pulled on my Quidditch robes and my trainers, I said, "I'll see you later."

"Yup!" Lily yelled back.

I swept back to my dorm, where Melanie was now stirring feebly in her half-concealed bed, but Mira and Olivia were still sleeping soundly. I went directly to my bed, dumping the contents of my bag onto the mattress. There were my robes, my transfiguration book, my weathered old spare trainers; my Quidditch gloves were there, as were my spare quills, inkbottles, and parchment, and my reading book (a muggle novel called _The Crystal Cave_, by Mary Stewart). A fine amount of returned essays, Charms notes, and random letters that I had started to write to my mother and father but never finished were scattered among the items. I sifted through the former contents of my school bag, trying to figure out if anything was missing. As far as I could tell, nothing _was_ missing. But then, what had Sirius meant when he'd said he'd taken out all the valuables?

Well, obviously he'd been taking the piss. Nothing was missing. I piled the stuff back in my bag, except for my Quidditch gloves, and threw my bag back onto the bed. I turned to leave the room, and Melanie was staring at me.

It was weird. Her bed curtains were still half-closed, but she sat propped up on her elbows, swathed in her blankets, and she was staring at me, her brown eyes wide. It seemed as though she had sat up, caught sight of me, and froze as if she'd been struck deaf and dumb. Her expression seemed to say that she had reached a sort of epiphany, some sort of realization, as if she was suddenly seeing me in a new light. The gaze was actually kind of creeping me out, so I gave her a what-the-fuck look and strode to the door.

"Wait!" Melanie exclaimed suddenly. I stopped, hand on the doorknob, and looked back at her, more than a bit surprised that she was speaking to me. Typically, unless we were antagonizing each other, we ignored each other, avoided each other in fact (as I said, unless we were antagonizing each other). She climbed out of bed, one of the straps of her spaghetti strap tank top hanging off her shoulder. I remained frozen at the door, rather hoping that Lily wasn't about to barge in while I was standing there (that might have hurt...). She fixed her strap back on her shoulder, looking me up and down.

"Yes?" I asked when she didn't elaborate on why I was standing at the door and not in the common room. She shook her head, seemingly coming back from Lalaland, and got a hard look on her face.

"I need to talk to you. But I don't want to be seen doing it. I want you to meet me in that empty classroom across from that ugly statue of Erwin the Elder on the fifth floor at 9:30. If you don't... something bad will happen." Her face was completely serious, and so was her tone. I gaped at her, the corners of my mouth twitching while I tried to keep from laughing.

"Are you threatening me?" I asked, amused by my amused tone.

"You tell me." She didn't explain this further, but pushed past me to the staircase and disappeared, presumably to the bathroom.

"Okay..." I said to myself, wondering if I should heed this threat. Still contemplating this strange attitude, I walked out the door and down to the common room. It was still quite empty, though by now there were a half a dozen other students in there besides Sirius. Sirius, it seemed, had not moved from his armchair, but James had joined him, and James smiled and waved when he caught sight of me. Sirius looked around and smirked at me. I waved at the pair of them, more to James (obviously) and headed for the portrait hole, too jittery to sit and wait for the others to get ready.

I arrived in the Great Hall extremely early, so early, in fact, that I was the first one there. I took a spot at the far end of Gryffindor table, and grabbed myself some toast as I looked at my watch. 8:00 AM, it read. So I had an hour and a half to decide if I was going to meet Melanie on the fifth floor or not. I spent so much focus debating that I didn't even notice the Great Hall getting fuller by the minute, or that James and Sirius had joined me. Well, I didn't notice them until Sirius threw a grape at me and it hit me in the eye.

"That's what you get for not listening to me when I'm being polite."

James rolled his eyes as I threw the remainder of my toast at Sirius and started rubbing my eyeball. "All right, you two, cut it out, would you? Game starts in a few hours and I don't need you two getting into some fight just because you're both acting like three-year-olds."

We both scowled, but obeyed. I ate the grape that Sirius had thrown at me, and then poured myself some cereal. James and Sirius mimicked me, pouring their own bowls. James, however, hardly touched his, hissing our plays under his breath at us instead.

"So if the chasers try that play on us they did last year, Ar, you go right, I go down, Padfoot goes up, and then Artemis gets the Quaffle and—"

"Prongs, we know the plays, can I please eat my cereal in peace?" Sirius begged, holding his laden spoon halfway to his mouth.

"But—"

"You know, I forgot something in my dorm, I'll be back in a few," I said, leaving the two guys to argue about our Quidditch plays and how important last minute run-throughs were.

At the statue of Erwin the Elder, I looked at my watch again. 9:23 AM. I sighed, wondering why the hell I was doing this. Melanie was annoying. She was probably still upset about last week's "date" with Sirius and was gonna chew my ass off for it. It would be a waste of my time, but I supposed it was better than sitting around listening to James whisper advice under his breath and to the rest of the team complain about it. Taking a great breath, wishing I were already playing in the game, I pushed the classroom door open.

I was immediately assailed by the dirty smell of dust and the darkness of the classroom pressed against my retinas. I flicked my wand and the torches along the wall immediately burst into light. The place was covered in dust, obviously undisturbed for quite a while. I wondered if this was where Sirius and Melanie had first—

I cut that thought off before it was finished and made my way to the teacher's desk at the head of the room, which was covered in dust like everything else. "_Tergeo_," I muttered, cleaning the corner of the desk off and settling myself on it to wait for the Melanie. I tucked my wand back into my pocket and gave the room another look over. It was unremarkable, however, and quickly my focus was on the nerves that were starting to make my stomach heave.

_So bored..._ the voice murmured softly. _Why don't you just—_

_Sod off, damn it! I'm just fine without you!_

I could feel the aggravation of the other consciousness, but at that moment the door opened and Melanie walked in.

She looked rather surprised to see me. She must have thought that there was no way that I would meet _her_ anywhere. I wondered if she was disappointed. Now whatever bad thing she had planned had I not shown up couldn't be put into action. She recovered and marched up to where I was sitting, looking awfully determined. She waved her wand at the door and it shut and locked itself, a fact that made me even more anxious than I already was. A locked door meant business, though I couldn't imagine what kind she could possibly mean by it. She stopped and stared at me, the same way she had earlier. I sighed.

"Okay, I'm here. What do you want?"

She drew a haughty breath and started. "I want you to do something for me. I've thought long and hard about how to get Sirius to fall back in love with me, and I've finally come up with a good plan."

I snorted. "You want me to do something for you? Yeah right. I've got Quidditch soon, I haven't got time—"

"I know you're busy today, so just shut up and listen. I know how to get him back, it's a flawless plan. He doesn't want to go out with me anymore, he's interested in _new_ stuff. New stuff as in stuff he doesn't already have. So here's what you're going to do: you're going to get him to go out with you."

I burst out laughing. "You've got to be kidding me!" I cackled, gasping for air. She glared at me. "The day Black and I actually start going out is the day house elves revolt and take over the world!"

"You did it last week."

"Well, yeah!" I gasped, still laughing hysterically, tears coming to my eyes. "But that was because I _had_ to! I didn't have a choice if I wanted Lily to go with James! What the hell would I get from this? What the hell would _you_ get from this?"

"If you'd shut up, maybe I'd get to that part!" I made an attempt to stop laughing and succeeded (at least, I sort of succeeded; I burst out into random giggles, but it was just such a funny notion!). "As I was saying, you're going to get Sirius to go out with you, to _fall in love with you_. Don't interrupt me!" she hissed, holding up a warning finger before I could tell her that this was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard in my life. "I don't care how you do it; you can pull out all the stops if you like, but you're going to do it. And then you're going to dump him. He'll be so torn up about how cruel you are that he'll come crawling back to me!"

I stared at her, torn between disapproval and amusement. Most of all, I was rather impressed. It was a good plan, had it not been so far-fetched and near impossible to pull off. "I see. You know, that is just _low_. Even _I_ wouldn't do something like that to him, and I _hate_ him." To my surprise, Melanie smiled.

"Oh, you'll do it," she whispered, and I swear her eyes turned red for a second. "You'll do it, because if you don't, I'll tell everyone your deepest, _darkest _secret."

I resisted the terrible urge to smile, but my mouth twitched and my eyebrows rose. I opened my mouth, and then shut it again, considered what I was going to say carefully. Finally, I said, "What exactly would that be, pray tell?"

Her smile widened, and I could tell that she was taking great delight in this. Her perfect white teeth flashed in the torchlight. "Oh, well, why don't you tell me?"

"Oh, that same old answer. I can't tell what goes on in your head, Jordan, I don't think in stupid." She continued to smile, which I'll admit was extremely unnerving. "I don't think you know any of my secrets, let alone my, er, 'deepest,_ darkest_ secret.' In fact, I think you're just trying to scare me into doing something for you, and it's not working! Like I said, I've got things to do, so I'm going to leave."

I jumped off the desk and was halfway to the door when she said quietly, "You're related to Salazar Slytherin, and I've got _proof_." I stopped. "And that's not all. I've got plenty of information on you that I'm sure _everyone_ would die to hear, your relation to Slytherin is just the beginning." All the imbecility of the situation had suddenly gone.

Crap. And she had proof... was it possible she was bluffing?

_Kill her! _the voice yelled gleefully. My hand was halfway to my wand before I stopped myself. As much as I would have liked to hex Melanie Jordan, I didn't really want to kill her. At least, I didn't think I did. But the voice in me did, and I had to keep control. I took a deep breath and turned back to face her.

Well, this was quickly turning into a crappy day. "Even if I agreed to do it, I _couldn't_ do it. It's impossible! There is no way that Black would fall in love with me. And without that, your whole plan falls to pieces."

And now that smug smile on her face was starting to infuriate me. "Oh, I'm sure you could find a way. Like I say, he's after something new, something different. And he's definitely attracted to you, if you look carefully. Course, you couldn't tell because he only looks at you when you aren't looking, but he is. It's a small step from attraction to infatuation."

"This is the stupidest thing I've heard come out of your mouth, Jordan, and _that_ is saying something."

"Maybe so, but if it works, it'll be pretty smart, won't it? And you really don't have any choice, Gaunt. You either do it, or I'll tear apart any form of a reputation that you have."

I was silent for a few minutes. "You realize blackmail's illegal, right?" I asked finally. She just smirked, and she knew I would do it, because I knew I had no choice. The thought that Melanie Jordan was blackmailing me into seducing Sirius Black was absurd, was shameful, and was almost physically painful. I nodded, and pain erupted in my head.

_Kill her! Kill her!_

_Shut... up!_ I screamed at it. I forced myself to calm before I did something rash and either hurt Melanie or myself or got myself expelled from school. Breathing through my nose, I hissed, "Fine. I'll do it. If you tell anyone..." I looked down at my watch and jumped. It was nearly time for the team to head down to the pitch, and James would probably kill me if I was late. I shot a final glare at the brunette and whirled around, leaving the room with a ton more nerves than I'd entered it with.


	13. A Challenge

**((A/N: Another wonderful day!! Hopefully, another wonderful chapter!! Review if you like it, review if you don't like it, REVIEW!!!))**

**((Disclaimer: Why do I still have this thing? I will, more than likely, **_**never**_**, own Harry Potter, its characters, or its lovely places.))**

"Where the _hell_ have you been?"

James nearly killed me as he bowled me over in the changing rooms, gripping my shoulders and shaking me wildly.

"We were all panicking, we didn't know where you'd disappeared to, we were all terrified we'd have to forfeit the match!"

"In other words, James was panicking, James didn't know where you were, James was worried we'd have to forfeit to Slytherin," Wes translated brightly, waving to me as James hugged me tightly, nearly strangling me in the process.

"James!" I choked out, my face turning purple. "I told you I left something in my dormitory!"

James drew back and sniffed loudly. "Well yeah, but it doesn't take half an hour to get there and back! And you can't say you got lost, 'cause you're a seventh year!"

"I, er, I couldn't find it, what I left..."

"I see..." James said, giving me a suspicious look. "And where is this elusive object you took so long finding?"

"I couldn't find it..."

"Well then, _what _is it?"

I scowled at him. "James, am I not allowed feminine products to control my monthly biological functions? Is it really _my_ fault that I'm female?"

It was actually quite amusing to watch James go instantly to a shade of red so deep that he looked almost black, or it would have been if I wasn't so focused on the numb shock that had followed Melanie's and my chat. He pushed me gently. "Well, Merlin's pants, you didn't have to _say _it!" I snorted.

"Well you're the one who pushed it! I'm sorry you can't contain your curiousity, James!"

James pouted, sticking out his bottom lip pathetically. He didn't retort, however, instead turning to his small chalkboard and tapping it with his wand so that the little labeled figures began moving about it. I scowled at it. I never could master that charm quite as well as James had (Charms wasn't exactly my best subject, though I had managed an E on my O.W.L.). Regardless of my charms skills, James started off on his pre-game speech, running over all of our plays quickly and shooting me scowls occasionally.

"Silvia, just remember what I said last night; Wes, the sooner you get the Snitch the better; Terry, Mike, visibility's terrible, so watch those Bludgers and make sure they only hit Slytherin; Sirius, Artemis, don't get cocky, that's what happened last year. We're looking good, team, I can feel that Cup already! Let's go!"

"Finally," I muttered, though not loud enough for James to hear, nudging Sirius a bit harder than was necessary to wake him up. He always fell asleep during the Captain's speeches; it was a bad habit of his. Unfortunately, he also had a bad habit of making me into a pillow, resting his head on my shoulder while he slept. He only did this because he knew it annoyed me; later on, he would complain that I was much too bony to be of any real use as a comfy pillow. Today, though, I wasn't nearly as bothered by it, as I was too busy trying to figure out how to get out of my big predicament. Sirius' head jerked up off my shoulder and looked around wildly as the rest of us stood up. "Have a nice nap?" I asked pleasantly, again quiet enough that James couldn't hear.

Sirius yawned and smirked. "Lovely. You must be getting fat, you were much more comfortable today!"

I aimed a kick at him as James looked over at us. "Artemis! Sirius! Come on, just make it through the match, _please_!" I scowled and nodded, but as soon as James turned away, Sirius was laughing.

"Oh, shut it!" I growled, pushing him towards Wes, who accepted him happily by throwing an arm over his shoulder and immediately starting on some crazy story about this past summer (I think that was his way of letting out his nerves). I was left at the back alone, just the way I wanted it to be at the moment, but the respite was only temporary, as moments later we stepped out onto the pitch to be greeted by the roars of both the wind and the spectators. I could barely hear the cheers over the howling of the wind, but they didn't matter anyways. All that mattered right then was the big red ball in the referee's hand, Sirius and James there next to me, and the three large hoops at the other end of the field. I gripped my broomstick tightly and chanced a glance to my right at Sirius. The last thought that I had about my problems with Melanie as I mounted my broom was that, maybe seducing him would be fun, or at least wouldn't be too bad; after all, he was handsome in any case.

I blame those thoughts on the slush that was hitting me full in the face.

I heard the blast from the whistle and kicked off.

"And the game begins! James Potter, Captain of Gryffindor team, is the first to get his hands on the Quaffle as the lovely Madam Hooch throws it up. Damn, she's attractive, I wish she'd—"

"Mr. Reynolds, this is no way to begin—"

"Right, the game, James Potter, darting down the pitch, passes to Sirius Black, the arrogant bastard—"

Ah, Mason Reynolds. I'd forgotten how wonderful his commentary was! He happened to have a soft spot for the five girls that participated in the sport, and as for the guys, all he said about them was insults. It was actually quite amusing, and as long as you took out the slights to the guys and flirtatious comments to the girls you could still keep up with what was happening in the game. By now, everyone except first years had learned to do just that, and I usually just ignored the slurs while I played.

Which is why, when Sirius passed the Quaffle to me and I heard Reynolds say something about a "slag who's shagged half the guys at Hogwarts" and McGonagall's furious threats of suspension, I didn't respond at all. James and Sirius, however, did. Both of them swerved around to gape at where Reynolds was sitting with McGonagall and they didn't snap out of it until he yelled, "Artemis Gaunt scores the first goal of the game, bringing us to ten-nil to Gryffindor!"

An hour later, the Snitch still hadn't been caught, and I was wondering slightly whether I could go and catch it if I saw it. I was freezing my ass off; the sleet was worse than snow, as it was wet _and_ cold _and_ horribly reduced what I could see. It was also coming down harder and faster, smattering me in the face so that I'd almost collided with someone else three times, though all three times were Slytherins and therefore may have been on purpose. We were a hundred points up, and currently James, Sirius, and I were fighting to make it a hundred-ten. James had the Quaffle, but he tossed it at me as he flew by, and I was shooting down the pitch as fast as my broom could take me.

As I said, visibility was poor, and I was freezing. My reflexes were off, and I was a bit distracted by the insults that Mason Reynolds was stringing at me. I'm not trying to make excuses, of course, but... well, actually I am.

The crowd gasped loudly, almost horribly, but all I heard was vague cheering in my head and a single word: _shit_. I was a bit too focused on the pain blossoming across my face as the black Bludger rebounded and soared away towards a green blob on my left. I was dimly aware that my nose was broken; I felt blood flowing from my nostrils, and I knew I'd probably have a gorgeous black eye or two the next day, but I suppose I was lucky to still be conscious, having been hit that hard in the face by a Bludger. I didn't really have time to think on it, though; when I was playing Quidditch, the game was everything. I'd dropped the Quaffle on impact, and now Jeremy Parkinson was speeding down the pitch with it.

"And _two_ of Gryffindor's chasers just took the Bludgers! It's hard to decide which of the two looked more painful, 'specially with all this sleet. Black takes his in the gut; he'll have a nasty bruise in the morning. I suspect that he was too busy eyeing fellow chaser Gaunt as she took hers right in the face. Not a bad idea, actually, she probably won't look quite the same now. Oh, she's giving me a dirty look, least I think she is. I probably won't be alive in the morning, so someone tell my mum I love her. In any case, Slytherin's Parkinson, the ugly git, has the Quaffle, but not anymore as Potter tackles him for it. Surprised that did anything, really, Potter's so scrawny. Potter steals the Quaffle, dodges one of the fatal Bludgers, passes it to Gaunt; can't even imagine how she can see through all that blood! She hates me right now, I can tell, she's giving me another dirty look, but that's okay, I never had a chance with her anyways."

I imagined that the goal ring was Mason Reynolds' head as I took my shot. He was really starting to piss me off.

"And Gaunt scores again, making the score two hundred-thirty to one hundred-twenty, Gryffindor in the lead! Slytherin's Palinsky takes the Quaffle. He looks as hideous as ever, I really don't know how he can live with himself."

"Mr. Reynolds! The game, if you please!"

I snorted, wondering if she would ever punish him for being a great arsehole in front of the entire school. Sirius had the Quaffle now, and he was streaking off for the goalposts.

"Right you are, Professor, right you are! Black has taken the Quaffle for Gryffindor, and—Yes, he scores for Gryffindor! Two-forty to one-twenty!"

The game wore on, and I'll confess that I was starting to feel a bit dizzy from blood loss. My face was still throbbing and was still streaming scarlet. This was the longest game I'd ever played. I was seriously getting a little tired of it, too.

And then I almost got hit as a red and green blur flashed past right in front of me. Jeez, I thought, what's with everything trying to kill me today?

"And it's over! Apollo Gaunt has caught the Snitch, stupid bastard, I wanted Gryffindor to get it! Doesn't matter much, though, as the final score is two-ninty to two-eighty with the victory going to the scarlet and gold! Gryffindor wins the match!"

"Thank God!" Sirius yelled, suddenly right next to me as we descended. "Merlin, you look—" he paused as James entered earshot. But he shrugged and shook his head. "Hell, there's really no nice way to put it! You look like shit!" he said gleefully.

"Shit, that just about sums it up," Wes said, appearing by my shoulder and supporting me as I swayed unsteadily.

"Someone should help her up to the hospital wing," James pointed out helpfully.

"I can ged dere fine by byself," I said, noticing as I did so that it hurt and that I really _couldn't_ say it. Sirius burst out laughing, then immediately stopped, whimpering and holding his side.

"Perfect!" James cried happily. "Artemis and Sirius will escort each other to the hospital wing, and I'll meet you guys up there soon as we're done here!" And he began to shoo us off through the celebrating crowd that had gathered around us. The people finally got the message and made us an aisle so that Sirius and I could get out of the pitch and onto the grounds.

When we were back inside, safe from the sleet, dripping water, and in my case blood, all over the floor, I swayed dangerously again. Sirius quickly caught up to me and helped me regain my balance. If I'd had enough blood left in my face to blush, I might have; as it was, I muttered an incoherent thanks. Sirius, however, seemed to feel the need to go further and pulled my arm over his shoulder to better support me as we walked, his other hand on my waist.

"Dat's nod necessary..." I whispered.

Sirius snorted, then whimpered: "Ow, ow, ow..." He bent a little so that he was level with me, grimacing.

"Stob being a baby, Black, id can'd hurd dad bad."

"I have no idea what you just said," he smirked. He seemed to understand now that it was painful to laugh at me. "And it does."

"I doughd you couldn'd understand be?"

He grinned wickedly and said proudly, "I lied." I laughed, stopping even faster than he did when it caused me an immense amount of pain. I could tell Sirius wanted to laugh too, but he wisely kept his amusement to facial expressions, something that I didn't have the ability to use at the moment.

We walked on through the corridors in silence for a few minutes before I remembered something that Reynolds had said when I'd gotten hit.

"Hey, Black?"

Sirius looked sideways at me. "Huh?"

"Whad did Reynolds bean by you gedding hid because you were 'eyeing' be?"

He snorted, obviously too overcome with emotion to hold it in. "Ouch! Merlin, that guy's a moron. Don't get the wrong idea, Gaunt, I wasn't _eyeing_ you, eyeing you. I was watching with fascination while that Bludger broke your nose."

"Ah," I replied after a second. Yes, that made more sense, but for some reason, a dim feeling of... disappointment prevailed in my stomach. Why? Well, Merlin, it was stupid, but I think, for some weird reason, I'd thought that maybe he'd been... it was stupid, but I guess I kind of thought he might have been _eyeing_ me, like checking me out.

Wait a second! I didn't mean that! No, he wasn't eyeing me, definitely not checking me out.

Then again, maybe I wanted him to check me out. Not because I wanted him to, of course! No, I wanted him to because it would make it a lot easier if I actually had to go through with a method to get him to like me if he actually was attracted to me first! That was definitely it.

'Course, Sirius was pretty ho-andsome. Not hot. Never hot, but admittedly handsome, and once you got past the fact that Sirius Black was a stuck-up, annoying, rude, big-mouthed, womanizing git of toerag, he wasn't that bad. Of course, it would be a miracle if you _did _get past that fact, but still.

Oh Merlin, what the bloody hell was I _thinking_? My heart was starting to pound loudly in my chest, and I got the feeling that Sirius knew it, if not what I'd been thinking. He was looking at me worriedly, still stooped slightly to my level. Morgana, I hated being shorter than him!

"You know, this would be a lot easier if you'd let me carry you," he said. "Bending over like this is killing my back."

"I never said you had do do id, you jusd—"

"Right, right, but it would still—"

"I can walk by byself! Besides," I sneered, poking his rib cage with the arm he was holding over his shoulder, or rather jabbing his rib cage, "you couldn'd carry be if you dried." As if to prove my point, Sirius whimpered and clutched his side, hunching over still further and enabling me to take back my other arm. I reached the last set of stairs before the hospital wing and started up them.

I was halfway up them when a dizzy spell came over me. If you've ever had blood drawn and then tried to go up stairs or even just overworked yourself, you know what I mean. I nearly fell back down the stairs as my head spun and my stomach heaved.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Sirius was right behind me, recovered from my attack on his wounded midsection and ready to catch me as my legs gave out. "I think you really_are _gaining weight, maybe you should cut back on the eclairs..." he muttered in my ear. His head was nestled in the crook of my neck, his arms wedged beneath my armpits to keep me supported. One look at my face, though, was enough to nearly make him recoil, though he didn't (thankfully, since I would have ended up at the bottom of the staircase if he had). "Don't you _dare_ throw up on me, or I'll make the rest of you match your face," he growled, hoisting himself and me up the rest of the stairs. "I'd tell you to breathe through your nose, but..." he trailed off and started dragging me towards the double doors marked HOSPITAL WING.

As soon as we entered the doors, Madam Pomfrey hastened over to us.

"I was watching from my office windows!" she exclaimed. "Treacherous sport! Just look at the state of you! Broken nose, bleeding to death! Bring her over here, Mr. Black, that bed closest to my office. Honestly! You seem terribly accident-prone this month, Miss Gaunt." And she bustled off, hopefully to find something to make the pain in my face go away, leaving me blushing at her latest statement, or rather, bleeding and leaning on Sirius. Meanwhile, Sirius continued to drag me forward, to the bed that was right outside Madam Pomfrey's office. Then she was back, setting some potions on the bedside table and pulling out her wand. "We'd better start with your nose, Miss Gaunt. All that blood!" She prodded my face with her wand, siphoning the blood off my face so that she could see clearly. "Oh dear..." she muttered when she was done, looking at my contenance with a thoughtful look. Sirius looked as if he was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Don'd you dare, Black, or I'll bake yours batch bine," I growled. That shut him up real quick, which could only mean that mine must be pretty damned bad. I continued to glare at him while he tried to keep the smirk off his face.

"The other bed for you, Mr. Black, I'll be with you as soon as I've got Miss Gaunt's nose straight."

At this, Sirius just couldn't contain himself; he burst out laughing, then whining, then laughing again. I shot him a dark look and tried to kick him, but he was to far away as he headed for the bed that Madam Pomfrey had pointed at, still laughing and cringing at the same time.

"All right then, Miss Gaunt, I'd like to tell you that this won't hurt a bit, but I don't want to lie to you. You're plenty old enough to deal with it, so I'm just going to tell you outright that this is going to be quite painful."

"Gread," I muttered sarcastically. "Jusd whad I needed do hear."

She smiled, and for a second I saw fangs and little horns poking out of her head as she flicked her wand.

And then I almost passed out from pain as my nose twisted in my face to right itself. I didn't pass out; I did, however, scream shrilly and fall off the edge of the bed as I tried to cringe away from the nurse. All this seemed to cause Sirius immense entertainment, which was apparent because he was now laughing and crying harder than before.

"Son of a—"

"Language!" Madam Pomfrey snapped.

"Witch..." I finished weakly, feeling tears in my eyes, climbing back onto the bed. "That f—flipping hurt!"

Madam Pomfrey shushed me and observed my olfactory organ with a smug nod. "There now, that's better. I'll be right back after I deal with Black to give you some cream for those bruises. In the meantime, take off those sickly robes and change into these. I'll have to keep you overnight, just in case." She conjured some plain white pajamas for me and turned to Sirius. "The same goes for you, Mr. Black, off with those robes!" She waved her wand at my bed and the curtains zoomed out to give me privacy while I dressed.

"But I—I don't need to," I heard Sirius gripe on the other side of the curtains. "Can't you just wave your wand and fix it?"

"Mr. Black, you know as well as I do that it doesn't work that way, expecially if I can't appraise the damage. Now, take off your robes, Mr. Black."

I smiled in appreciation of her sharp tone and of Sirius' conceding sigh as I took of my wet, bloody Quidditch robes.

"Ouch!" Sirius exclaimed suddenly, making me jump and causing my heart to pound, which in turn made my head spin. Too little blood and too much surprise: not a good combination.

"A couple broken ribs, I think."

I pulled on the soft white pajamas that Madam Pomfrey had given me, breathing deeply through my nose in an attempt to slow my frantic heart.

"There you are. I'd like to keep you in too, just in case of internal bleeding and such, always a risk, but I suppose you're going object—"

"No, that's fine. I'd hate to die in my sleep or anything. After all, school nurses know best what's good for me."

What a load of bollocks, I thought as I passed to the curtains and pulled them back fractionally. The little suck-up. What the hell was he planning?

Madam Pomfrey, from what I could see of her, looked extremely surprised. "Oh," she said, "okay then... you can stay in this bed." She conjured some more pajamas, pure white, like mine, which landed with a soft _flump_ on the blankets. "And you can't leave. I don't mind you wandering a bit in here, because you seem just fine, but _no_ leaving the room, do you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am."

The back of Madam Pomfrey's head tilted as if to say "I'm watching you," and she said, "You can have the curtains as soon as Miss Gaunt is finished." She moved away, probably to her office, and I could see Sirius.

I was struck for the second time in two days by how good-looking he was without his shirt on. The first time had been last night, but I'd been so mad at him for taking my stuff that I hadn't appreciated it. Now I had to admit that he was drop-dead-gorgeous, though it killed me to say so. Not to mention, the smell that I caught whenever he was within a foot radius of me (not very often, but still) was _so _good. One might even say he was _delectable_. If I didn't hate him so much, I would probably be like almost every other girl in the school, fawning over him constantly in order to attract his attention, prettying myself up to catch his eye, begging him to date me, even just once.

He was such a prat. I suppose I was pretty lucky that I did hate him, or I would be a hopelessly obsessed fangirl, and I _hate_ hopelessly obsessed fangirls. Hell, I'd call them hopelessly _possessed_ fangirls, because, really, it seemed like they were possessed by some crazy fanatical spirit, probably some widowed, lonely spirit called up from below. Stupid Dark magic, possessing people...

Oh, crap. Now I'm babbling. I guess the point is that Sirius was very hot. _Very_ hot, it didn't matter how much I loathed admitting it. He was lean and muscular, a bit on the tan side, unlike my pale self. He had a long, thin, white scar across his chest, but that only added to the sex appeal.

I hated him.

I pulled the curtains shut again, then sighed and called, "I'm done, you can have the curtains now, Black!" as I climbed into my bed. The curtains zoomed away from me, coming to a halt around Sirius and his bed. Madam Pomfrey scurried out of her office at the sight, stopping at the bedside table and fixing up the potions. When she handed to goblet to me, it was a sickly green color. It didn't exactly look like something I'd enjoy drinking.

"There you are. Drink it all up, now, there's stuff in there to restore your blood and to put you to sleep."

"But—" I started scowling across the way to where Sirius was hidden. "Can't I just have some that restores blood? I don't feel comfortable sleeping in here while... _that's_ awake."

Madam Pomfrey glared at me and thrust the potion into my hands. "Drink it all, get some—"

At this point, James and Lily, followed by the rest of the team, burst into the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey cursed (after telling me not to, the hypocrite) and glowered at them. Lily immediately rushed over to me.

"Ar, are you all right? James said. "You looked absolutely _horrible_!"

Sirius, having just emerged from the curtains fully dressed in his white pajamas, burst out laughing, and this time he didn't have to stop. "Horrible? She looked worse that horrible; you should have seen her without all that blood!"

"Shut up," I snapped, "or should I tell them about you on the way up here?" I put on an agonized expression and whimpered, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..." The rest of the team laughed a bit at that, and Sirius shut up fast. "Anyways, why isn't Mira with you, Lils? Or Olivia?" I asked, looking around and realizing that neither my best friend nor hers was to be found in the crowd.

Lily paled. "Well, uh, she, erm," she looked around at the rest of the team, who were all staring at her expectantly, though James was glowering at her warningly, and I got the feeling that she didn't want to say it in front of everyone else. "Well, I'll tell you later," she complied finally. "You ought to be resting, though. You lost all that blood..."

"I agree!" Madam Pomfrey snapped, making shooing motions at the crowd. "Firstly, only _six_ visitors at a time! Secondly, this girl has lost a lot of blood and she needs _rest_! Now, out!"

The team started shuffling towards the doors, all except Lily and James, who were dragged by Sirius over to his bed across the aisle from mine, leaving me to be force-fed the despicable potion that would put me to sleep.


	14. Time For a Change

**((A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed!! It's always appreciated!! :D))**

**((Disclaimer: Still don't own Harry Potter...))**

I didn't wake up until late that night. It was pitch black and dreadfully silent in the hospital wing, and it was rather creepy too. I guess I was so used to the breathing of four other people that the breathing of only one other person was shockingly quiet.

And now that I thought about it, that breathing wasn't even regular. Looking down at my watch, I could barely make out the time: 2:37 AM. Was Sirius still awake? That seemed odd. But then again, who was I to understand the way his brain worked? I could better understand what made a Snargaluff such a vicious plant, or why manticores attacked anything that came within attacking range (I'm still not even sure if that's a bad thing or a good thing, the fact that men's minds were such mysteries to me). The fact remained, however, that Sirius was still awake, unless he didn't breathe like a normal person while he slept. That was always a possibility; after all, it wasn't like I'd ever seen or heard Sirius Black sleeping. How was I supposed to know if he was normal? Oh, wait, he wasn't. But, regardless—

"Gaunt, are you awake?"

My muscles automatically tensed at the sound of his voice cutting through the silence. I relaxed them and whispered, "Yes."

"Hm."

And that was it. Well, what a wonderful conversation! I'm being sarcastic, by the way. I mean, what kind of conversation is that?

"Why are you still awake?" I asked, more because I wouldn't be able to sleep now anyway than because I cared. Well, I told myself so, anyways.

"Can't sleep," he answered simply. When he didn't continued, I scowled in what I thought was the direction he was in.

"Why not?" I pressed, wondering if he would snap at me or just ignore me. He sighed.

"Thinking."

"You're very verbose in the early morning, you know that?" I said, shaking my head at the ceiling. I was obviously not going to get anywhere. He chuckled and I heard him moving in his bed, most likely adjusting his position.

"I'm not the one talking. Besides, _you've_ been sleeping all day."

"Yeah, just what I wanted to spend my Saturday doing, sleeping off a massive, bloody, broken nose slash head injury," I groaned, stretching out my limbs to their extent, only to jerk them back to my body when something brushed my foot. Sirius laughed.

"Jumpy, aren't you?" I kicked him, trying to push him off the edge of my bed with my feet. He obliged by standing up, and then un-obliged by sitting back down again, this time closer to me. "I think I'll sleep right... here!" he said, laying down next to me and spreading out across my bed, regardless of the fact that I was already laying there.

"Get off me, you great prat! Do I look like a damned pillow?" I growled, attempting fruitlessly to push him off me.

"Oops, sorry," he said nonchalantly, rolling onto his side and somehow ending up even more on top of me than before. I could feel him pressing his body closer to mine and it occurred to me that he was doing it on purpose. I pushed harder, but I still had no effect. I couldn't even see him, but I could feel his heart pounding, hear and feel his warm breath uncomfortably close to my face, smell that delicious scent.

"I should have figured," I sighed to myself, giving up on pushing him off and groping for my wand on the bedside table instead.

"Figured what?"

"This!" I snapped, wishing greatly that I had longer arms. I was extremely uncomfortable, and I hated being in this weak position, but my fingertips were hardly brushing the table's edge, and it was still dark as death. "I knew you had to be plotting something, all that bollocks about Madam Pomfrey knowing best! You just decided to take the opportunity to harass me!"

"I'm not _harassing_..."

"Well, then, what would you call it?" I hissed, stretching my arm as far as possible. Sirius seemed to be thinking.

"Harassing," he conceded. "Not sexual, though, just the normal kind, where I try to make you as uncomfortable as possible."

That same feeling I'd had when Sirius was "escorting" me to the hospital wing, that disappointed, upset feeling, was back. I did my best to ignore it and snarled, "Well, you've succeeded, now will you get off me?"

"Nah, I've just gotten comfortable."

My arm wasn't long enough, and it was starting to fall asleep on me because Sirius was laying on it. "God, you're annoying," I said, realizing just how close his head was to mine.

But he was asleep. His steady breath beat on my cheek and his right arm had somehow ended up slung around my waist. It made me want to throw up.

But I liked it.

***~~~***

We woke up at about the same time, and we simultaneously turned bright red. Sirius rolled off the bed and sprinted across the aisle to his own bed, jumping onto it just as Madam Pomfrey came out of her office. She glanced at him suspiciously, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she came over to me and started questioning me about how I was feeling, if there was any pain in my head, if I was dizzy or nauseous or anything else. I replied that I was fine, I just needed some food in me, and I had a ton of homework to do back my dormitory if she was done with me. She told me I was free to go, so I left.

A minute later, one floor down, Sirius caught up to me and stared at me as we walked with a troubled look.

"That didn't happen."

"Ha!" I let out in amusement. "That seems to be our strategy, huh? Just pretend it didn't happen, that just completely fixes it, doesn't it?"

"Oh? Then you tell me how you want to fix it! What's your strategy?" he snapped.

I almost said "Just go out with me." And then I wondered where the hell that came from, because that was like asking him if I had three heads. Instead, I said, "Fine, we'll ignore it, pretend you _didn't _just sleep all wrapped around me."

"And that you didn't kiss me."

"Good. And I still hate you."

"Good."

We were both still beet red when we reached the Great Hall ten minutes later. Lily and James were already sitting down, chatting with Remus and Peter. I was surprised that Lily wasn't with Olivia and Mira; after all, until just recently she'd hated the Marauders as much as I hated Sirius. I took a seat next to Lily and started gathering some food.

"You look loads better!" she said, watching me as I started scarfing down my food.

"Eye fee ohs butter!" I said through my food (I was starving, I hadn't eaten since the morning before!). Lily gave me a disapproving look, which was turned on James as he roared with laughter.

"That's good, because we've got to finish that Transfiguration essay to do; it's due on Wednesday and I know you haven't even started it." She cast me a meaningful look, and I nodded.

"Yeah. Stupid McGonagall and her three bloody feet about human transfiguration," I grumbled, stuffing my mouth with more porridge. James was looking between the two of us with wide eyes.

"Sirius and I—" he started

"Hey!" Sirius barked.

"I think we ought to go to the library, personally; it'll be quieter and we'll get more done," Lily commented. I grinned.

"Perfect!" I agreed. Not to mention, the library was the one place the guys (except for perhaps Remus) would not follow. Which of course was the reason she'd chosen it. Lily was brilliant. James, meanwhile, was obviously quite horrified.

"Well then, when you're done—"

"We'll go with you!" James exclaimed. Lily and I stared at him.

"Speak for yourself!" Sirius growled. "I'm not—"

"One second, ladies," James smiled. He grabbed Sirius and pulled him down the table a distance. Lily and I barely had a chance to exchange a nervous glance before they were back. "We'll go with you!" James repeated, and this time Sirius didn't argue, though his expression had grown darker. James chose to ignore this, instead looking at Remus and Peter. "You two?" They nodded together.

So as soon as the six of us were done eating, we hiked up to the common room to collect our barely-started essays and then trudged to the library. I felt rather frustrated. I just wanted to get Lily on her own so that she could tell me where Mira was. Was that too much to ask?

Obviously. We found ourselves a table that happily sat all six of us, and somehow the seating went thus (around in a circle): Peter, Sirius, me, Lily, James, and then Remus. I ask why? James snaps that it was how we'd be most conductive. Bollocks. He would have had Lily and I separated, but I insisted that I absolutely _had_ to sit next to her. He gave in in the end, but only after Madam Pince, the librarian, came by and threatened to kick us out. As soon as we sat down, James started talking to Lily. If I hadn't known better, I would have said James was _trying_ to keep Lily from talking to me.

I worked patiently on my essay, waiting for a chance to make an excuse to get the guys to leave. It never came. I finished my essay long before Lily did, thanks to James' badgering; she was clearly getting a bit frustrated with him. Sirius and I completely ignored each other; I think both of us had had enough awkwardness for the day, and James kind of made it worse. What the hell was he trying to do?

And then, it came to me. What did guys least like to hear about? Well, hell if I know. But I knew they didn't like to hear about girl troubles. Let's see now... what kind of girl troubles could I come up with?

"Lily!" I cried, in a semi-quiet voice so as not to upset Madam Pince. Lily, and predictably all four Marauders, turned to stare at me. "I—I can't take it anymore!" I was surprised at how easily the fake emotion of grief and sorrow welled up in my chest. "I—" I sniffed loudly for good measure. "I'm in love with Hyper Paxley!" Sirius' eyes turned into dinner plates, James' mouth almost literally dropped to the floor, Peter gave a gasp, and Remus froze in the middle of writing "can induce excruciating paroxysms and macabre afflictions." They looked as if I'd just expressed the desire to marry the giant squid. Lily, however, smiled.

"Oh, Ar! I knew you'd come clean eventually!"

It took me a few seconds to realize that she was actually playing along with me.

"I—I've been holding it in for so long!" I gasped, wondering if I should cry. "I can't take it anymore!"

"It's all right, Ar, we're here for you! Right, guys?"

Said guys were looking awfully uncomfortable right now, and I felt a sense of pride in my newfound acting ability. "Er, yeah," James answered, followed by more reassurances from Remus and Pete. Sirius leaned forward, though he was already close enough to make himself heard over them.

"No. Hyper Paxley is..." he paused and grimaced, "he's a filthy bastard. You think men are bad now, but Paxley is about thirty times worse!"

I was careful not to appear surprised. Was Sirius worried about me? Instead I clapped my hands softly. "Oh good! You know, sometimes what you think is bad is actually good! Hm..." I looked at my essay thoughtfully. "Jordan says I have plain underwear. Maybe I ought to get more... frilly? Lacey? What do you think, Remus?"

Remus turned scarlet. I could almost hear the swear words in his thoughts. "I, er, I think—"

"No!" Sirius snapped. "I think you ought to..." he faltered, looking confused. His eyes made contact with mine for a few fleeting seconds, then flickered to James and then to Remus. Then that wicked grin that had crossed his face when he found out I was still virginal spread across his countenance. "I think... you ought to... show me before you shag Paxley. Maybe I'll give you a few pointers."

I think my heart stopped. The reactions to this statement were about the same as those to me declaring love for Hyper Paxley. Lily had gasped loudly, but I just stared at him unblinking. There was no way he'd just said that. But he had, judging from the reactions of the others. I licked my lips and tried to think of some sort of retort, but my mind was blank. Finally I looked at Lily and took a deep breath.

"Lily... I'm going to kill him."

_Kill him!!_ the voice screamed delightedly.

Lily continued to gape at Sirius as if she'd never seen anything quite like him, and I took that as affirmation of permission.

It was James that stopped me, leaping over the table to grab my wand out of my hand. Of course, I probably wouldn't really have killed Sirius; maimed him, maybe, but I don't think I'd have killed him. Maybe. But James didn't give me the chance. The other three just stared on in awe while James restrained me and Sirius smirked smugly.

"ENOUGH!" Madam Pince shrieked. "GET OUT, GET OUT!"

Happy to comply, I snatched up my essay and my books and stalked out. Lily was right behind me, and so were the Marauders. Just as we passed the bathroom on the second floor, Lily yanked me inside it. "Have to use the toilet!" she called to the guys. "We'll see you at dinner!" James sent her a horrendous look of fury, but the others just shrugged. When the door was safely shut, she leaned against the sinks and sighed. "Thank Merlin! I thought we'd never get away!"

"Tell me about it," I grumbled, running my fingers through my hair. "I can't believe he said that!"

"Yes, well, Sirius Black isn't exactly known for his discretion. But going as far as to basically say that he wanted to shag you was... well, a bit _too_ far."

"Oh great, well at least I'm not going crazy, if you heard it too. And after he said it didn't happen, too..." I mumbled to myself.

"What?" Lily said, perking up instantly. "What didn't happen?"

I opened my mouth before I realized what she'd said, then stopped and gaped at her with my mouth wide. "N-nothing!" I exclaimed, waving my arms around. "Nothing happened!"

"Ooh, gossip!" I whirled around to find myself face to face with Moaning Myrtle.

"M-Myrtle! You scared me!"

"I heard you gossiping, and I thought you ought to know... I HATE GOSSIP!" she screamed, her cheeks turning opaque with her rage.

"Gossip?" Lily repeated. "No, no, we weren't gossiping, Myrtle, we swear it! I just..." she trailed off, looking unsure of how to continue.

Myrtle looked so angry, and Lily so confused, that I sighed and said, "Black slept on top of me last night." And then I paused to marvel at how dirty the words could sound.

Lily gasped. "You—he—you and _Sirius_? You _slept _together?"

"NO!" I yelled, rounding on Myrtle, who looked equally shocked. "Myrtle, if you spread any rumors about me around the school, I swear on Merlin's magic wand you'll regret it! And _no_, I did not sleep with _Black_, are you insane? _He_ slept with me, and in _the _most literal sense, meaning he said he couldn't sleep, came over to my bed in the pitch dark, lay down on top of me so I couldn't feel my arm and couldn't reach my wand, and _fell asleep_ on top of me! There was most definitely _no_ sexual inferences to be made, _nothing_ happened, and if I start hearing rumors in the halls that I've shagged Black, there is going to be _hell_ to pay!"

I stopped, gasping for breath. When I'd recovered from my short tirade, I discovered that Lily appeared to be... _disappointed_. I shook my head. I didn't want to think about this anymore, though I was sure Lily felt differently.

"You know what, can we change the subject? This whole deal with Black is giving me a headache like you wouldn't believe. How 'bout you tell me where Mira and Olivia are?"

Lily looked as if she were going to object, but satisfied herself by saying: "We'll talk about Sirius later then. As for Mira and Olivia... well, it won't be much better than talking about Black, I assure you." She paused, as if she were reconsidering telling me the truth. I gazed at her expectantly. Finally, she continued: "Mira and Olivia have started hanging out with Melanie a lot. I wouldn't be worrying about it, exactly, except that I—well, I'm not at all happy about what I saw, and since it affects me as well..."

"You're babbling, Lils," I pointed out, sighing and joining her against the sinks. Lily didn't usually babble, and I was curious to know what she might have seen that would make her do so. Myrtle had joined us near the sinks, hovering in front of us with eager eyes.

"Sorry," Lily murmured. "I, er, I sat next to them during the match, obviously, and... when you got hit, they... er, they laughed a bit, like they thought it was funny..."

My insides seemed to go numb. Mira was hanging out with _her_? And Olivia too? But we'd all hated Melanie last year; what had changed to suddenly make them like her more? We all knew that she was conceited, that she was vain, that she was rude and obnoxious. None of that had changed, certainly. Melanie was the same black-hearted bitch she'd always been, proved by the fact that she was blackmailing me.

I should have seen it coming, I realized. That first Herbology lesson should have shown me where Olivia's thoughts were: that was when she'd started treating me like dirt. She'd been seen increasingly in Melanie's company. It should have been obvious that Olivia was turning. But _Mira_? That was what made me angry. Mira and I had been best friends since first year, we'd agreed all that time on almost everything. Mira had never shown any signs that she would prefer Melanie's company over mine; in fact, we'd been spending the same amount of time together as always, doing homework, talking, Mira styling my hair regardless of my begrudging attitude. Everything had seemed so normal.

But now everything changed. I could see it already: how dinner would be; how tomorrow would be; how the rest of the year, the rest of our lives would be. Nothing would take us back to these carefree days where Mira and I were best friends who told each other everything.

I couldn't hold back a sardonic laugh. Lily gazed at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. Who was to say? After all, anyone who has read _Catch-22_ knows that the catch in being crazy is that if you were crazy, you wouldn't know it; therefore, if you think you're crazy, you can't possibly be crazy. So I wasn't crazy (or was I?); that fact was completely irrelevant, in either case. I realized now why James had looked so panicked at the thought of Lily talking to me alone.

"Huh," I said finally, when it became obvious that Lily expected some sort of response. "I suppose it sort of was... funny, I mean. You know, you ought to join them; after all, you're the only girls seventh who _isn't_ against me now, you'd be a priceless addition to Jordan's collection, and I'm sure Olivia misses you—"

"Oh, shut it, I'm not going anywhere! In fact, I don't approve of their actions at all! I mean, if there _was_ any sort of problem, the best solution would be to ask you about it, not completely turn my back on you and wonder forever if you actually _are_ or _did_ whatever she says you are or did." Lily huffed and folded her arms resolutely, glowering at me. "Though I think that if you _did_ do something, you ought to tell me now, as opposed to later."

I blushed and shrugged. Melanie had said she knew my deepest darkest secrets. Had she told Mira and Olivia I was related to Slytherin? How much more did she know about me?

"Well, the only thing I can think of..." I paused. Lily had just told me that she would stick with me, but would she feel the same if I told her? Well... if I didn't tell her, either Sirius might or Melanie would, and then she would be mad at me, furious actually. So I sighed and continued: "I'm related to Slytherin."

Myrtle gasped loudly, and Lily looked gobsmacked. "S-Slytherin? You?" I nodded and glared at Myrtle, who seemed to be hyperventilating while gaping at me with her huge, semi-transparent eyes. Lily's expression suddenly became very serious. "Well, that makes perfect sense!"

I stared at her. "What?"

"I mean, it makes sense because that has to be what she told them. Mira's been your best friend since we started school, so she must be horribly shocked by it; and Olivia, as much as I hate to say it, never really trusted you, so it must have just pushed her over to Melanie's side." She paused, looking at Myrtle thoughtfully. "But where did she learn it? Who would have told her?"

I'd wondered that myself before, but never came up with an answer. Now, though, having it put to me in this way, it came to me.

"Black," I muttered, closing my eyes and shaking my head. "It must have been. Black knows; he had to have told her while they were dating. They both hated me, it would only make sense." Lily bit her lip, and after a few minutes she slowly nodded, realizing that I must be correct.

"Then the question is: How did Sirius find out?"

I didn't have an answer to that.

***~~~***

When Lily and I returned to the common room after dinner, I had to work very hard to keep from glaring at a variety of people, a task made all the more daunting as the voice in my head called for bloodshed. First on my list was Melanie. What with her blackmailing me, laughing at my Quidditch accident, and stealing my best friend, she was turning out to be a bigger pain in my ass than I'd ever anticipated. It was all I could do to stop myself from bounding over to her and strangling her. Secondly, surprisingly, was Mira. The fact that she was ditching me for Melanie over a little thing like my ancestor from one thousand years ago was rather insulting. Sirius, even more astonishingly, had vacated his usual spot at number one for number three, though he hadn't gone without a fight. I still couldn't believe what he'd said in the library, though I knew he'd only said it because he'd known it would rankle me.

Sirius, however, was the only one of the three who looked at me as Lily and I entered through the portrait hole. James was scowling at us with the same dark look he'd had as Lily had dragged me into the girls' lavatory for a chat. I thought now that I knew why. After all, in James' eyes I'd just gone back to relatively normal, and now he probably thought I'd become relatively _ab_normal because my best friend was ditching me for my worst enemy (except for Sirius, of course). It was a perfectly logical fear. Hopefully one that wouldn't become reality.

Lily shot James a look full of meaning and he turned away reluctantly. "You know," she said, casting a nervous glance at me as we headed towards the girls' stairway, "James has your best interests at heart."

I laughed, the sardonic sound echoing eerily in the empty staircase. "He would, if yours didn't completely obsess him. I know, I know, you hate him," I said when she glared over her shoulder at me.

"I wasn't going to say that..."

I gaped at her. "Shit, Lils, are you actually falling for him?" Her face turned beet red, all the answer I needed.

"N-no!" she stuttered, and I smiled. "I'm not! I just... I guess he's okay..."

"Oh, Lily, deny it all you like, but it won't change a thing."

"Shut up," she said flatly, marching over to her bed as soon as she was through the door. "I was _going_ to say that you're very important to him, and that he was right to worry because you've been all weird this whole year. I mean, you've gotten better, but you just... you're still acting... strange."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "I like to think it's stress," I muttered, glaring into the nearest vanity. "N.E.W.T.s and all..."

"Odd, I always thought you were good at handling stress. You were one of the only ones who made it through fifth year without so much as a single near mental breakdown."

"That's not true, Black and Potter—"

"Are assholes and don't come anywhere near to understanding what it means to actually care about your grades in school."

"And yet, they're seen as some of the brightest students in the year," I said thoughtfully, smiling vaguely at the irony of it. "I wonder how they do it? Do you think they're born that way?"

Lily's green eyes narrowed, meeting mine with obvious annoyance. "You're trying to change the subject."

"I am. I wish you'd let it go, Lils, it's not really important."

"Of course it is!" Lily interrupted, her eyebrows nearly meeting as she glowered at me. "And even if it's not, I feel like it should be!"

I groaned in exasperation and stalked to my own four-poster. "Do you really feel it's that drastically important? Will it demolish our friendship if I maybe keep a few secrets to myself?" Lily looked like she was going to say yes, a thought that infuriated me, so I plowed on loudly. "Because if that's how you feel, maybe I'd be better off by myself! Maybe I don't need a friend whose only interest is to learn all my secrets! Maybe I don't want any friends if that's what it takes! For all I know, you could take all those little secrets and start swapping with Jordan; I'm sure she's got loads she could tell you! Maybe she knows that when I was five, I pushed Apollo down the stairs because he stole my doll and made it into a scorpion; maybe she can tell you how I used to talk to all the snakes in my backyard because my dad wouldn't let me talk to any of the Muggle kids who lived near us! But maybe you ought to go tell her, she might not know yet!" I finished hotly, jerking my bed curtains closed and falling onto my bed.

"Fine," Lily snapped venomously. I heard the door slam shut, and then I was left in silence.

And then I realized what had happened and I groaned again. What the fuck was my _problem_? I'd just insulted the only good friend I had left and basically told her to sod off and leave me to wallow in my self pity, not to mention join Melanie in her quest to destroy my life. Damn my short temper and fucked up genes! That was the problem! I couldn't be normal, of course; I couldn't be born with the average temperament or the typical patience that Lily or Mira or Remus had. The voice in my head was laughing hysterically, as if it was funny that I was now completely alone. Funny, I thought. Absolutely bloody laugh-my-ass-off hilarious. I pulled my pillow over my face and made a disgusted face.

No wonder they all hated me.


	15. Get Some Guts

**((A/N: Aha!! Success! Another chapter dutifully written and published! Don't forget to REVIEW!! I thrive on reviews!))**

**((Disclaimer: Blah blah blah blah Harry Potter. Blah blah blah...))**

"Lily?" I muttered at breakfast the next morning. It was early enough that she and I were quite a ways from the nearest bunch of students and no Marauders or backstabbing, traitorous women were nearby. Lily was already sitting down, calmly eating herself a bowl of cereal and a piece of toast. Well, had been calmly eating until I said her name. At that point, she turned the Look on me, though I braved it and sat down across from her. "Lily, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that last night; I'm a bloody moron; and I give you permission to drag my name through the dirt, beat me up, anything you so desire as long as you forgive me!"

To my relief, the Look started to fade, though a faint resentment remained. "I forgive you, Ar," she said slowly. "I shouldn't have been so pushy either, so I'm sorry. But... you should know that I have no intention of spreading your secrets around, especially not to Melanie Jordan. If I ask you to tell me a secret, I want to know because you're my friend and I care about you, not because I want to spread rumors about you or give you a bad name." She smiled now, and I smiled back.

"Good. I really am sorry. I know you wouldn't... I was just a little overwhelmed, I suppose."

"It's all—Uh oh..."

I turned to follow her gaze and saw Sirius and James coming down the Hall towards us, James looking slightly nervous and Sirius looking extremely smug. I sighed. Apologizing was so much harder than it was made out to be.

"Morning," James said cautiously, eyeing me cautiously as he took the seat on Lily's left. I got the feeling that Lily had told him what had happened in our dorm last night. Sirius, meanwhile, took a seat on my side of the table on my right, though he left an extra seat between us. I almost laughed at that. Almost. Would have, perhaps, had I not been wondering how he'd react.

I spun a quarter turn to my right, straddling the bench so that I could face Sirius properly. He edged slightly farther down the bench, which happened to be too much for me. I burst out laughing and his smug look vanished in a glare. James and Lily seemed tense on the other side of the table, probably ready to stop me if I attacked him again. I managed to control my laughter, but I couldn't make the amused smile go away.

"Si-Sirius," I stuttered, still smiling inanely, "I, er, I'm sorry. You know, for trying to kill you yesterday."

Obviously not what any of them were expecting. All three of them looked at me like I'd just sprouted slimy tentacles and fuzzy antennae. I couldn't help it; I was lost in a fit of hysterical laughter again, earning a variety of looks from staff and students ranging from aggravation to curiosity to fear to amusement. A minute later, we were joined by Remus and Peter, who gave me concerned looks as I started gasping for breath.

"You're being sarcastic, aren't you?" Sirius finally asked, giving me a suspicious look. Which sent me spiraling into more uproarious giggles. "I thought so," he said with a disgusted look, pouring himself some pumpkin juice.

"No!" I gasped, still giggling so hard that I was now crying. "I was—serious! I—really—am sorry!" I cried, panting and weeping all at once. "The look—on your—faces! It's so—funny!" I burst into tears and bent double over the empty seat between Sirius and I, still trying vainly to stop the raucous laughter. Sirius scooted farther down the bench, looking at me like I was insane or diseased.

"Right..." he said skeptically. "That's convincing."

"Fuck! —I can't—breathe!" The five of them look alarmed. Then Lily, James, Remus, and Peter turned to look at Sirius.

"What?" he snapped, taking a bite of his breakfast. "What the bloody hell do you want me to do about it?"

"You're the only one on that side of the table," James pointed out.

By this point, I was getting dizzy from lack of oxygen, but I couldn't stop laughing, especially now that Peter was still gaping at me like an idiot.

"Well, yeah, but—"

"Help her!" Lily snapped, giving Sirius the Look.

"What the hell do you want me to do? It's not like she's choking, I can't just do the Heimlich or something!"

"She's turning purple, Sirius..." Remus said calmly.

Sirius gave me a nervous glance. "Merlin, you're doing this on purpose aren't you, Gaunt?" he said, with a glare at his friends before grabbing a jug of water and pouring it over my head. I gasped at the chill, but after the initial shock I just laughed harder. "What the hell's wrong with you?" he snapped. Lily and James were both on their feet, but before they could do anything, Sirius' lips were covering mine and he was pushing air into my lungs. He almost instantly pulled back, gagging and spitting into a napkin. I gasped and grabbed for the nearest pitcher of liquid, coming upon one of orange juice and drinking half of it. After that I sat in my seat gasping and panting, trying to catch my breath. And then gagging as I took in the fact that Sirius had both touched me and saved me at the same time. Yuck.

That was when I realized that everyone in the Great Hall was gaping at us. The corners of my mouth twitched, and Sirius snapped, "Don't even think about it!" as he smacked the back of my head. "I'm _never_ doing that again, so you better not ever start choking or having an asthma attack or _anything_ because next time I won't save you," he snarled. "That was disgusting, next time you can do it, Prongs."

I took at deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut, putting my forehead against the table and massaging the back of my skull. "Thank you, Sirius..." I muttered. I'm not really one for gratitude either, I realized. I was surprised when I felt him move so that the gap between us was closed.

"Whatever," he replied coldly. "Moony, Wormtail, one of you two get over here in case it happens again!" One of the two obliged, and sitting up again I saw that it was Pete. "Merlin's pants, that was _disgusting_..." Sirius moaned, pushing away his breakfast and scowling at me. "I can't even eat now!" I glared at him.

"Stop being over dramatic," I growled.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you enjoyed it," he said, changing direction suddenly as his expression became malicious and his gray eyes became dark. "Maybe you _were_ just pretending, huh? Just so you couldn't know what it's like to have someone touch you like they care."

"And maybe I'll take that apology back now, you seem like maybe you want to die anyways," I snarled viciously

"Well, it wasn't a real apology anyways, it's not like you meant it."

I stared at him with my mouth half open. "I almost died for that apology!" I sniffed. "And I did to mean it, at least I did _then_; I don't know about now, though." He rolled his eyes and snorted. My jaw stiffened and I threw up my hands. "You know what, fine! I try to be nice, and what do I get? Nothing but doubt and suspicion and disrespect! Well, fine then! I just won't even try, okay?" And I stood up and stormed out of the Hall, aware that Sirius look scandalized, that everyone was staring at me, and that I'd just made an effort that had been completely wasted.

***~~~***

"Do you think she's finally lost it?"

"What the bloody hell was that all about?"

"Can you believe that just happened?"

As soon as Artemis' form disappeared from the Great Hall, the whispers started. Sirius, however, sat shell-shocked, gaping at the place Artemis had occupied until seconds ago. He was sentient to the fact that James, Lily, Remus, and Pete were all staring at him, but he couldn't quite understand it. It was like everything was coming to him through a thick veil.

Artemis Gaunt? Trying to be nice to _Sirius_? That was a near impossibility, but did that mean it was impossible? She was either a very good actress or she'd sincerely been attempting kindness. Sirius could never really tell with Artemis. She was like those things that muggles did when they were bored: she was that one jigsaw puzzle in the very back of the closet that Sirius either never knew was there or just hadn't liked the picture on the box. It was actually more the latter, but really, it didn't matter much. The fact was that Artemis was confusing, and she was possibly bipolar: she'd go from happy, or at least satisfied, to I'm-gonna-kill-you furious.

Sirius was again struck by how much he liked her mood swings. She was so... unpredictable, and he had to admit that he found that rather exciting. Which was of course why he'd spent all these years teasing her and pulling pranks on her. He never knew how she'd react. If he did, he might have got tired of it.

His thoughts were cut into as a sharp pain erupted in his shin. He yelped and glared at James, who glared solidly right back at Sirius. Lily was still half standing up, and she was giving Sirius an unusually focused version of the Look.

"Yes?" Sirius asked cautiously. James kicked him again in response.

"You just had to go and piss her off, didn't you?" James growled, leaning forward over the table. "You couldn't just let her apologize!"

"She was—or..." Sirius' stomach lurched uncomfortably. "She wasn't pretending, was she?" he whispered fearfully. His greatest fear was realized as James shook his head. Sirius was careful, however, not to let this show. If he revealed the fact that he was suddenly feeling immensely guilty and slightly nauseous, James and Remus might decide again that Sirius was in love with Artemis, whether Sirius denied it or not.

Besides, Sirius reasoned with himself mentally, it wasn't as if she could loathe him that much more just because he'd made himself believe she was lying. In fact, she would have to admit that his had been a very logical conclusion.

_Keep telling yourself that, mate_, said a small bit of conscience in the back of his head. So he did.

***~~~***

I laughed. And laughed some more. He probably thought I was on drugs or drunk or something, the way I kept having these laughing attacks, but he just seemed so damned _funny_ today.

"Oh, sod off! It isn't that bloody funny," he snapped.

"I'm sorry, you're right, it's not! It's just, I can't believe you're apologizing to me!"

"I didn't laugh when you apologized to me," Sirius growled. "Bloody hypocrite."

"All right, all right," I conceded, taking control of my amusement and nodding at him as we arrived at the greenhouses. "I forgive you for not forgiving me because you didn't realize that I was really asking for your forgiveness, okay?"

Sirius scowled and grunted affirmation. "Whatever," he muttered as he held the door open for me. "Just stop laughing so much; it's really starting to get on my last nerve."

"Aw, poor Black, on your last nerve, are you? Well, what happened to the others?"

"Actually, you got on those, too, and you were so fat they just collapsed under your weight."

I stopped in the doorway and he ran into me. "I'm not fat! In fact, Lily thinks that I'm malnourished." I glared at him. "_You_ probably weigh about twice my weight, so—"

"You're right," he interrupted nudging me forward so that our classmates, most of whom were watching us curiously, especially Lily and the Marauders, could follow us in. "You are malnourished. I could probably fit my entire hand around your wrist." And as if to prove it, he snatched my arm; smirking smugly, he showed me his hand, wrapped entirely around my rather thin wrist and looking very frail next to his. I felt my face turning red as surely as I felt my heart speed up. Such an ass, I though, such a bloody _ass_. But he wasn't going to let me ponder it, because now he was saying that he probably was about average, lean and muscular the way he was, but that I was sadly underweight, a thing that just was _not_ very attractive. Lily interrupted him, saying that if he was average, she was a pig in a wig, to which James exclaimed that she was most definitely not a pig, and her hair was gorgeous, and Sirius whined that he was indeed average weight. Peter piped in, saying that he thought both Lily and I were gorgeous, no matter our weight, and Remus quoted that age old saying, "No comment."

I somehow found myself seated around a nearly harmless Skittlebud, a large, vined plant with the tiniest white, yellow, and orange flower buds, with the four guys and Lily, receiving unusually cold stares from the other girls in the class. They probably thought something was going on, but they were sorely mistaken, as Lily and Sirius began debating the definition of the word "average." To Lily, average meant normal, and normal meant like everybody else. Sirius was not like everybody else (her arguments were that he was unusually attractive and that he was absurdly arrogant); therefore, according to her, Sirius was not average and could not define himself as such. Sirius, however, argued that he was a perfectly average man, with an average male ego and an average male attitude, though he didn't deny that he was unusually attractive. He was such a bigheaded asshole. I told him so and he scowled at me for the rest of class.

"Morons," I muttered under my breath. Lily smiled.

***~~~***

"You didn't come see me. Weren't you worried at all?" I asked, glancing over at my twin. We were walking down the hall towards the library for a rather spontaneous evening of mind control research, and after several minutes of unusually tense silence, I decided that something was wrong. Of course, my comment was merely an icebreaker. We both knew that he would have known if something bad happened to me (other than breaking my nose).

"Course I was, I knew you'd be fine though," he replied, looking at a suit of armor as we passed it. Was he avoiding looking at me?

"Er, something wrong, Olly?" I asked hesitantly, understanding that he wouldn't elaborate on his attitude unless he was queried.

"Don't call me that!" he snapped, glancing over his shoulder as though he were afraid someone would hear. I scowled at him.

"Okay, definitely consider that a yes. Are you gonna tell me or am I gonna have to dig it out of you?"

"Nothing's wrong!"

And then it hit me. "Is it because you lost?"

Apollo's cheeks darkened slightly as he muttered, "No." He was lying, but he knew I could tell.

"Oh, don't lie, Olly, you're mad!"

"Okay, fine," he snapped, turning to look at me with an aggravated look. "I'm mad!"

"Well," I started hesitantly, not wanting to make things worse. Unfortunately, that was not possible. "You only lost by ten, surely you guys still have a chance at the cup..."

"What would you know? You're little Miss Perfect!" he yelled, and suddenly his emerald and silver seemed to contrast horribly with my scarlet and gold. "Perfect grades, perfect chaser, perfect looks! With all your little Mudblood friends! It's just a game to you, isn't it, all of it? Well it isn't! It's not just a game! One of these days, life is going to hit you full in the face, and you'll realize that all this" he gestured around him wildly, "all this really matters! And when it all comes down to it, nothing matters! It's not even important, but it is and it shouldn't be! Because nothing, and I mean _nothing_ can change your destiny! There's nothing you can do to stop it, except work harder, and even then—"

"Apollo, what the bloody hell are you talking about?" I asked. It suddenly seemed that this couldn't possibly be on account of Quidditch; but then, what could be bothering him so much that he would start raving about destiny and existentialism? "You lost me at this," I continued, waving my arms around like he had. "What does that have to do with losing or winning a Quidditch match?"

He blanched considerably and snapped, "Nothing! Forget it, I'm too tired to deal with you right now! I'm going to bed!" And he stomped off back the way we had came, pushing straight through a group of second years that weren't fast enough to jump out of the way. I stared after him, confused and quite insulted. Too tired to deal with me? Well now, that just wasn't very nice.

"What the bloody hell was that all about?" I asked myself, folding my arms in a pouty fashion and glaring after my twin.

"What the bloody hell was what all about?"

I spun around and scowled at James and Remus, both of whom were grinning at me. "You guys! You scared me! Don't just sneak up on me like that!"

James laughed. "In other words, don't sneak up on you when you're talking to yourself."

"It's like you speak girl, Prongs," Remus said thoughtfully.

"Er, thanks?"

"Idiots," I muttered.

"So?" James asked, ignoring my less-than-flattering comment. "What was what about?"

"What? Oh, yeah, my brother's just in a bad mood today. I think he's just upset that Slytherin lost the match."

James smirked proudly. Remus smiled happily. A snort came from somewhere nearby, something I might have thought strange had I thought about it.

"Slytherins," James said disapprovingly, shaking his head emphatically. "Bunch of cowardly crybabies and sore losers."

"Hey now," I chastised, "that's my family you're talking about."

"Aha!" Sirius exclaimed as he appeared out of nowhere, literally, pulling what could only be an Invisibility Cloak off of himself. "She admitted it!"

I gaped at him, too shocked by his sudden appearance to respond.

"That doesn't mean anything," James replied.

"Her whole family's been in Slytherin, just like yours. She could just as easily have meant that, for all you know," Remus pointed out.

Neither of them seemed in the least surprised by Sirius' entrance. They'd probably known he was there the whole time, actually. And where the hell had Sirius gotten an Invisibility Cloak? The whole thing reeked of deception, and I just wasn't going to deal with it right then. So I turned and started to walk away.

Unfortunately, the three guys realized this, and they followed me.

"Wait up, Ar!" James called, jogging to catch up to me. "Where are you going?"

"Er... to the library?" I said, shrugging. "I'd like to get something done today, whether Apollo wants to help me or not."

"Why?"

"I just told you why, you bloody—"

"Hey, Artemis," Remus interrupted, smiling at me kindly, "You never really talk about your family. It's best if you just let it all out, you know."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, shaking my head at him. "Bunch off psychos..."

"Yeah!" James exclaimed, slinging his arm over my shoulder and grinning at me. "What's your mum like? She looks really nice when I see her on the platform."

"Er... yeah, she's great... she's a little overbearing and more than a little smothering, but I suppose—"

"What about your dad?" Sirius cut in, grinning in the same way James was, though he was smart enough not to throw his arm around me. "How's he?"

"Er, well, he's rather—"

"Are your grandmum and dad still alive? What are they—"

"You guys are pissing me off," I growled. "What the hell is this, a bloody ambush? Why do you guys care anyways?" I stopped at the corner and glowered at them. "Stop being so damn nosy."

They all shared a glance then looked back at me.

"Well, see," Remus finally admitted, "Melanie's been spreading rumors, and Sirius has been saying their all true, but James and I didn't want to believe them if they're all a bunch of lies."

Cold fear and hot anger filled my chest as soon as he'd said "Melanie." Spreading rumors? And I could only imagine what she was saying about me.

I bit my tongue and glanced around the corridors. The gaggle of second years was still standing near a window overlooking the grounds, and a pair of fourth years was walking towards us.

"Hey, scram!" I barked. The second years all jumped, giving me wide eyed looks, and one of the fourth years looked like she would faint. Within seconds they were all gone, and James, Remus, and Sirius were all giving me what-the-hell-did-you-do-that-for looks. I took a deep breath to steel myself and said: "All right then, lay it on me. What's she saying about me?"

Sirius grinned. "She's telling everyone that you're related to Slytherin!" he said delightedly.

I felt my jaw tighten of its own accord, though of course I'd expected it. "Hm," I responded simply. This didn't seem to be quite what Sirius wanted to hear. His grin gave way to a scowl.

"'Hm?'" he repeated disbelievingly. "That's it? 'Hm?' No ranting about how bitchy she is? No burning desire to murder her in her bed? Just 'Hm?'"

"Well, it's a shame you can't read minds then, huh?"

"Obviously," James butt in, "but we were just wondering if it was true?"

The three guys looked at me expectantly, Sirius' smug look returning. I sighed again.

"Yes."

"Ha!" Sirius shouted, breaking into some sort of victory jig. Remus looked a bit surprised, but James looked dumbfounded.

"But you—you're—but..."

"Come on, Prongs, she _really _admitted it this time! You can't deny it now!" Sirius cried happily. "She _is_ related to—"

"Just because I admitted it doesn't mean I'm giving you permission to go around yelling it out," I snapped at him. I folded my arms across my chest and glared at him. "Is that all she's saying, or is there more?"

"Is there more?" Sirius replied, suddenly looking wicked. "Because I would _love_ to hear about it."

"Sod off," I told him. "If that's all, I'll be going to the library." When none of the three said anything further, James still looking dumbstruck and mumbling under his breath, I rolled my eyes and walked away.

But I wasn't going to the library.

***~~~***

"Hey, Jordan!" I called. Melanie seemed to have been expecting my call; she whirled around instantaneously, much to fast a reaction for anyone _not_ expecting a call. Mira and Olivia, however, obviously weren't expecting it, as they jumped at least a foot into the air. I ignored them and yelled, "Jordan, I need to talk to you! In private!" Smiling, obviously pleased with herself, she waved Olivia and Mira on before joining me in the nearest empty classroom.

As soon as the door shut behind her, I snapped, "You are _such _a bitch! I haven't done anything to you, so why the _bloody _hell are you spreading rumors about me?"

"Rumors?" she repeated. "Not rumors, facts. And you're right, you _haven't_ done anything, which is the opposite of what I told you I wanted you to do." I felt my face scrunch up as I wondered what she could possibly be on about.

"Jordan, I don't know—"

"Sirius, Gaunt, Sirius. I told you, didn't I?"

My mind flew back to that Saturday. Ah. Yes, I understood now.

"I guess you should have got a move on, huh? There's still plenty to tell, though. I think you might be surprised by how much I know about you. And I'll tell _everyone everything_ if you don't get to work."

My jaw was clenched too tightly together for me to make a retort, but that was exactly how I needed it so that I didn't say something stupid. That in itself was stupid, because Melanie seemed to take this as fear.

"Oh, poor Artemis," she said, putting her hands on her hips and putting on a pitying look. "Are you scared of big bad Sirius Black? Well, that's a shame, isn't it? Maybe," she dropped her pity act and smiled nastily as she headed for the door, "you should get some guts."

I was about to tell her where she could shove it, but then I realized: she was already gone, and she was right.

I was kind of scared of him. A little. Like a tiny bit. A small psychological thing, really: he'd picked on me and teased me and pranked me and _hated_ me for so long now. He'd yelled at me, humiliated me, hit me, ignored me; anything you could possibly do to me without inviting major repercussions, he'd done it.

On second thought, I wasn't afraid of _him_; I was actually more afraid of the thought of him liking me. That thought was too absurd to be... well, thought. The world might truly end the day Sirius Black decided that he liked _me_. It was a day that would never come to pass. Hopefully.

Yet, I was also afraid of what would happen if I didn't at least try to convince Sirius he should like me. Melanie... was one of those spiteful people, one of those who would kill you if you didn't obey (not literally... socially...). She was almost scarier that Sirius loving me. Especially since she was spreading rumors, er, facts about me and I had nothing to fight back with.

I still had no choice. I'd been stupid, in a way, to think that Melanie would give me time enough to waste. She wanted Sirius, and she wanted him now. So all that was left was to, in Melanie's own words, "get some guts."

Where the hell can I buy some of those?

***~~~***

"Sirius," I repeated, glaring at the mirror. My right eye twitched, so I sighed and shook my head. "Sirius," I said. My lip curled. "Sirius." My nose scrunched. "Sirius." My jaw clenched.

I couldn't say his name while smiling. Hell, I couldn't even make myself look indifferent. How was this ever going to work? I hated him! Maybe that was dying down, little by little, but maybe it wasn't. There was no way I could make Sirius fall in love with me! I ground my teeth together in frustration.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked my reflection. "I thought you were tough, but you can't even say his name." With one last glare, I sighed and turned away from the mirror. And jumped back against it at the silhouette in the doorframe.

"James!" I yelped.

"What are you doing, Ar?" James asked, but he really didn't need to. I could tell he'd already heard me.

"N-nothing!" I exclaimed, waving my arms in front of me and smiling innocently. "I'm not doing anything, I swear!"

"You, uh..." he glanced around the mirrored room with his hands in his pockets. "Having fun in the Room of Requirements? I think you left the door open..."

"Oh..." I muttered, looking at my shoe.

When I looked up next, James was right in front of me. He was smiling, kind of like he smiled at Lily, but not as lovey-dovey like. "You were doing really good, you know. Saying his name. You weren't stuttering or hissing or mumbling or anything."

I stared at him, my face growing warmer. "I—er, I wasn't—whose name?"

He rolled his eyes. "Sirius'! Don't deny it, we both know I heard you."

"Don't be a moron, James," I started, but he scowled at me. "Oh, all right, fine!" I conceded, folding my arms across my chest. "_His_ name, yes, I was saying it, but it doesn't _mean_ anything, it's just a name! And no, no, I was _not_ doing really good, you couldn't see me through that wall, could you? And it doesn't _mean_ anything, got it? I just think I ought to be able to say it, right?"

James smiled smugly and started tapping his foot on the ground expectantly.

"What?" I snapped. "Why the hell are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're lying and we both know that too."

"Oh, shut up!" I retorted briefly. I marched past him without a look, and I knew he was following me, probably with that stupid smug look still on his face. I stopped suddenly and whirled around to look at him. "Don't you tell Sirius," I warned as my whole left arm twitched. James jerked away in alarm, watching my arm carefully. I sighed. "I told you I couldn't do it."

"Right..."

"Don't tell him," I repeated, "or I swear I'll—"

"Okay, I won't," James ceded, shaking his head and taking an extra step backwards.

"Good, cause it didn't mean anything. I still hate him."

James nodded, falling beside me as I started walking again. But the smug smile didn't leave his face, and with each step it seemed to grow stronger. I scowled at him.

"Get that god damned smirk of your face! It pisses me off!"

"Right, sorry," James said, quickly looking away from me at the wall. "But you know, if you like him—"

I gagged. "Are we talking about the same guy? Or have you just lost your mind?"

"I know, I know," James whined. "I'm just saying, _if_ you liked him, even though I think the world might explode at that point, but _if_ you did, you wouldn't have to keep it a secret. Girls like guys all the time, and you never know, he, er, _could _grow to like you."

"Right," I said, rolling my eyes. "You _must_ be crazy."

He laughed. "You two are so... alike, though! But okay, I must be crazy," he surrendered before I could tell him to butt out. "Hey, I'm gonna go find Lily-kins! She finally agreed to go for a walk with me!" I smiled as he waved and bounded off down the hallway.

"Such a great couple," I said out loud, smiling. "Finally..."

***~~~***

"Good morning, James, Lily, Sirius!" I said, wincing a little on the last name as I plopped down next to the owner of said name that Wednesday morning at breakfast. James and Lily smiled at each other, and Sirius edged away a bit.

"Shit, she's trying to be civil. What do I do, Prongs?"

"Just accept it, mate. She works hard for it, let me tell you."

I glared at him. "Hey, you remember—"

"I'm not telling nothing, I'm just saying. Oh, and—Sirius... what's going on?"

I'd been focusing on my oatmeal, but now I turned to see what was happening. And instantly fury rose in my stomach.

"I'm fucking eating here!" I yelled, picking up my oatmeal bowl and dumping it over April May June's finely done, elaborately curled hair. "I don't need to see you two making out!"

Okay, maybe a slight over-reaction, though admittedly that crazed fury scared _me_ a little. Why was I so mad? It wasn't as if he hadn't kissed her before. No, definitely mad because I was eating. Definitely...

"Gaunt!" April screamed. Sirius just gave me a mind-your-own look.

"I don't care if you guys start swapping spit, but go do it somewhere else!"

Sirius, to my surprise, just shrugged and pulled April away as she started swearing and threatening me.

And now I was irritated. What were they going to do? Go make out in a broom cupboard? Why did that thought make me so frustrated? And before anyone says I was jealous, you can just shut up now, because there's no way I was jealous of _her_. That was like being jealous of Melanie, and I was _not_ the type to get jealous, especially over some stupid guy that I don't even like.

My mind was flying, raking itself for some other explanation. Impossible!

That's probably why I didn't realize James and Lily was still smiling at me until a few minutes later.

"What? Am I no longer allowed to get angry at public displays of affection?" They just shrugged and smiled. "Since when are those two dating anyway?"

"Since last night," James answered. "She asked him at dinner, right after you left. Personally, I think she was worried you'd do something, well, like you just did."

"She was all nervous and stuff. Of course," Lily stated thoughtfully, "that could just be, er, Sirius' 'animal magnetism.'"

I snorted. "'Animal magnetism?' Who the hell called it that?"

"He did," James admitted. I rolled my eyes.

"Call it whatever you want," Lily replied calmly. "You know, I was just thinking..." I glared at her.

"Just thinking about what?"

"Well..."

"Yeah," James agreed, "she was just thinking about how—" Lily elbowed him, without even blinking. "About how much I love Lily!" And James threw his arm around her. "She so brilliant!"

I raised my eyebrows but didn't say anything voicing my suspicion. Instead, I said: "Are you two dating yet? Like, can I officially call James Lily's boyfriend?"

"No!" Lily snapped before James could respond. "We're not dating! We're friends, that's _it_!"

"Which is better than we used to be," James pointed out. "So I think it won't be long now."

"Shut up!" Lily snapped, hitting the back of his head and standing up. "See you in class, Ar."

James sighed and pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose, watching Lily with a glazed expression as she marched to the doors of the Great Hall. I shook my head at him.

"You're like a love-sick puppy, James."

He smiled. "I can't help it. She's just so... wonderful! I don't think there's anyone else that I'll ever love as much as I love her. Every time I see her... I get so happy, and when other guys are around her, I get so jealous, and... I'm boring you, huh?"

I shook my head. "No, really." I sighed, and his same expression probably crossed my face. "I hope someday I love someone like you and Lily love each other."

"I bet you and—"

"Shut up!" I groaned, already knowing what he was going to say.

"Sirius would be a great couple, if you guys could just get over this big old feud." I moaned and grabbed some more toast. "Oh, come on, you know it's true! You two _are_ alike, you know, I bet you'd see that if you—"

"James, I'm being civil, and—" I paused, suddenly realizing that if I kept denying it, they'd know something was up if I suddenly decided I liked him. But I wasn't going to say that I _did_ like him. Since, you know, I don't. "Er, I mean..." James was watching me with a knowing grin on his face. "We're gonna be late for Charms, you moron. Would you leave me alone?"

James was smirking widely. "If you say so, Ar..."

I spent the whole Charms period glaring at the back of April's head in the seat next to James (we were nearly late, and those were the only seats left; not that I'm complaining, of course). James seemed awfully amused by the whole thing, Sirius seemed happily oblivious as he snogged April while Flitwick wasn't looking, and Lily and Remus seemed to be watching me like a hawk. My irritation was growing exponentially. This was worse than having Melanie dating Sirius (and that was _terrible_, because she seemed to want to share all sorts of details with me...), but it was ridiculous. Why should I be upset? I mean, I hated him. I didn't really like April.

Maybe it was because April would get in my way when I tried to save my secrets from Melanie. That made sense... to some extent. April was competition, which made her an obstacle, which meant she needed to go.


	16. Breaking and Epiphany

((A/N: Hey there!! Once again, I'd like to thank those who review CH. 15! I really do appreciate the reviews, and they really to make me all happy inside! It's like sunshine, without the sunburns! In any case, here's CH. 16, and I really do hope you enjoy it! Review! (Please?)))

**((Disclaimer: You get the point right? I'm not J.K. Rowling. I don't own her super awesome series about a teenage wizard.))**

For the next week, I kept a sharp eye on April and Sirius. It was rather sickening, really. It reminded me of when I was still dating. I was quite disgusted by it, but that just gave me more incentive to take her out of the picture. I mean, who wants to see them snogging and grabbing and whatever else they decide they feel like doing to each other in the middle of breakfast?

I'd given a lot of thought to how to catch Sirius' attention, but... let's just say what I'd come up with wasn't the brightest. But I had to start somewhere, right?

Anyways, it had been a week. I was talking with Lily at the Gryffindor table when James and Sirius joined us. To my delight, Sirius' girlfriend wasn't with him.

"I think Patton's staring at you again... oh, James! Sirius, there you—"

"Who's staring at—"

"Good morning, Sirius!" I interrupted Sirius brightly. To my own surprise, my facial muscles didn't betray me. The other three, soon joined by Remus and Pete, gaped at me in shock.

"Er, morning?" Sirius finally responded as he took the seat across from me. "In a good mood today, are you?"

"Yup! Toast?" I offered, holding out the platter of toasted bread. His countenance arranged itself to a bedazzled expression as he took a piece.

"Thanks..."

I continued to smile cheerily as I offered the plate to the others, all of whom continued to gawk at me like morons. Finally, I rolled my eyes and set the plate down, returning my focus to Lily. I figured it wouldn't be wise to give _too_ much attention to him right away. Then he might think I'm desperate.

"So who's Lexing staring at, Lils?"

It took Lily a second to realize that I was speaking to her, during which everyone stared at me while I stared at Lily with an innocent grin. "Er, he's staring at you. With obvious libidinous intent, too." She suddenly shook her head. "Yes, I recognize the look. It's the same one Potter gives me all through Potions."

"Ah, no wonder he's got a T," I responded thoughtfully, a reply that caused Lily, Peter, Remus, and, to my astonishment, Sirius to snort with laughter. James scowled at me.

"I do not have a T. I have an E, and I'm working on getting it up to O, for your information!"

"I have a P in Potions..." Peter said balefully. "I need a tutor..."

"You need a tutor in everything, Wormtail," Sirius pointed out.

"Nuh-uh!" Peter denied. "I have an E in Charms!"

I groaned. "I have an A, _barely_!" Lily gasped and Sirius laughed.

"I never thought I'd see the day when someone would have a grade _worse_ than Wormtail's!"

"That's terrible! Why didn't you tell me you were nearly failing Charms! I'd be more than happy to help you out! With my help—"

"Ah, _that's_ why I wasn't going to mention it..." I mumbled, as if suddenly reminded, under my breath while Lily continued to tell me how much she would help me improve.

"We'll get that A right up to an O, or so help me—"

"Siri-Honey! My Cuddly-Puppy!" This time it was April who interrupted Lily's harangue, nearly to my relief, except that now I wanted to hurl. I turned to shake my head at Sirius.

"'Siri-Honey?' 'Cuddly-Puppy?' You can't be serious."

"Well," he replied smugly as April appeared from nowhere to latch onto his arm, "that _is_ my name."

I could feel the now-usual spat of aggravation and jealousy coming on. This was the new norm for my breakfast, and, as I said before, it rather repulsed me. It clearly was the same for the other four, as Lily looked like she was going to puke, James seemed ready to strangle Sirius, and Remus was looking rather pale.

"Ugh," Lily groaned, as Sirius and April instantly went into lip-lock. "Lexing is still staring! It's really staring to piss me off!"

I sighed as James and Peter started craning for a look at the culprit and Sirius surfaced to get a gander himself. "I don't think I've _ever_ met anyone this obsessed."

"It's getting kind of creepy..." Lily admitted. James, having finally spotted Patton around the middle of the Hufflepuff table, glared at him. Sirius didn't seem to be able to locate him, as April was busily trying to recapture his attention.

"Dunno why he'd be interested," he muttered, now attempting, delightfully, I might add, to push his girlfriend off him. April, though, was putting up an awful good fight.

"Do you think I should flip him off?"

"Yes!" James and Sirius snapped simultaneously as Lily hissed, "No!" Peter shrugged and Remus shook his head slightly.

"Yes," James repeated, though Lily gave him the death Look, "you should! He's being... well, how do I put this. He's being a twat and he's staring. I can understand if he still likes you, but he should at least be a man about it and ask you out again! Instead of sitting there, undressing you with his eyes," he growled dangerously, turning back to scowl at him.

"No!" Lily scolded. "He's being like James, and at least he _isn't_ over here badgering you! Trust me, staring is easily better than being asked out again; and as for the 'undressing you with his eyes,' he's being a typical bloke. Isn't that right, Mr. I'm-Average Sirius?"

Sirius jumped at being addressed, giving April an advantage and enabling her to wind herself around him again, a sight that was almost pissing me off more than the fact that Patton was _eyeing_ me.

"Er, no. You don't, er, 'undress' a girl with your eyes until you've been rejected by her at least five times or if you've gone on a date with her. If I remember correctly, she's only rejected him twice."

Lily and I both snorted skeptically. Sirius glared at us. "Oh, please! Don't tell me you've never pictured a girl naked that you _haven't_ gone out with," I accused, raising my brows at him.

"Well, I can get any girl I want, so I really don't think it matters."

April made an indignant noise and nearly elbowed Peter in the eye as she moved back to scowl at Sirius. "Cuddly-Puppy! Why would you say that?" she whined.

He merely glanced at her then glared at me, as if it was my fault that he'd spoken. Well, maybe it was partially my fault...

I ignored the brief feeling of guilt as I grinned at him. "Sure you can, but I think you're forgetting about one thing."

"What's that?"

"I'm kind of a girl, and I'm immune to your... wants."

"You're kind of a girl?"

I rolled my eyes. "I _am_ a girl, and you sure as hell can't get me just because you want me."

"Excuse me! I'm his girlfriend!"

"I could if I wanted you. All I'd have to do is turn on a little charm," he murmured, leaning around his girlfriend to smile at me seductively. I snorted, but inside, I think I melted. It was sickening.

"Yeah, right. I think you're losing your touch, '_Cuddly-Puppy_.'"

"Don't call him that!" April snapped.

"I'll call him whatever the hell I want to," I retorted.

"Not my boyfriend, you won't! You'll call him Black, and that's _all_ you'll call him, you hear me! He's mine, damn it! MINE!"

I stared at her with wide eyes, a little surprised that April, prefect April June, was such an over-possessive girlfriend, and that she had just yelled at me. I was a little amused to see that Sirius seemed just as alarmed as me.

"Right..." I said, turning back to my toast and realizing that I had no butter. "Fuck, Sirius, will you—"

"BLACK!" April yelled at me. My appetite was swallowed by fury, something that Lily seemed to notice.

"Calm down, Ar; just ignore her," Lily muttered, leaning towards me over the table. Somehow, her soothing calmed my temper marginally, miraculously.

Closing my eyes, I said through gritted teeth, "_Black_, will you hand me the butter?" Sirius obliged with a nervous look as April clung to his right arm, and as I spread the butter across the toast, I decided that April was easily one of the worst ever of Sirius' girlfriends. All the more reason to get rid of her.

***~~~***

Why did my life seem to revolve around Charms class? Charms this, Charms that. How irritating.

Even though Lily and I left before them, the Marauders somehow got to class at the same time as us; they always did that, though Merlin only knew how. The way was irrelevant, however; the fact was rather important. I had a feeling that this Charms class would be the same as last week's lesson: I'd have to sit and watch while Sirius and April made out in front of me like they were in a broom cupboard while Flitwick wasn't paying attention to them. Merlin's pants, just what sort of prefect was this girl? Mira didn't go around basically shagging her boyfriends in the hallways; Lily certainly didn't either. I thought prefects were supposed to be role models? Oh, but that would be scary... a bunch of crazy Lilys, traitorous Miras, and slutty Aprils all over Hogwarts.

But anyways, I'd already had enough of April's and Sirius' crap this morning, and I was _not_ going through another Charms lesson distracted by the sloppy sounds of kissing, especially since I sucked at Charms anyways. No way. Sirius and April were now sitting in a single seat: April was on his lap, snogging away, her blonde curls falling over his shoulder. The other chair, the one next to Sirius, was free.

"Lily, sit with James," I ordered. Lily scowled at me.

"Why?"

I smiled at her reassuringly. "Because I'm going to sit right there," I clarified, gesturing at the seat next to Sirius. That just seemed to confuse poor Lily more.

"But that's April's seat..."

I shrugged. "Not today." And I walked forward and sat down. Lily walked past me, and I heard James say, "Lily-kins! Are you gonna—Ouch! ...Oh, shit." Which seemed an odd thing for him to say, but I let it slide as I put my bag on the ground next to me.

Nothing happened in the next few minutes, except that I relaxed myself and lounged back in the chair, awed by how observant the two were when they were snogging. It wasn't until Professor Flitwick called, "All right, class, settle down!" that they became aware of me.

Sirius didn't seem to know what to say, strange because he'd usually just insult me and tell me to get out of the damned chair.

April, however, was _not_ happy. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Gaunt?" she barked, her look turning dark.

"Uh, sitting here," I answered with a 'duh' sort of look.

"That's _my_ seat!"

"Really? 'Cause I don't see your name on it."

April's nostrils flared. "Artemis Gaunt, you get out of that seat right now!" I rolled my eyes at her and lounged further into the chair.

"_Yes_,_ mummy_."

I thought she might hit me now, but she didn't. Her expression was murderous, but she seemed more worried. I suddenly realized why she was a prefect: she kept her grades up, she was typically polite where it mattered, and _she was afraid to make trouble_. Whirling around, she stalked up to Flitwick's desk.

"Professor," she sniffed proudly, "Artemis Gaunt _refuses_ to get out of my seat."

Next to me, Sirius snorted. It might have been because my mouth was now hanging open in shock. She was _telling on me_? James was laughing, and I could hear Lily telling him to shut up. Remus and Peter, sitting in front of Sirius and I, were chuckling as well.

"Well," Professor Flitwick started, looking around at me, "I wasn't aware that I had assigned seats."

April looked scandalized. "Well, sir, you haven't, but that's _my_ seat..."

"I suppose that if you want an assigned seat that much, I'd be happy to give it to you. Everybody up! I'm assigning seats!"

There were boos and catcalls at April as the rest of the class stood and collected at the front of the room.

"All right, starting at the front, Miss June and Mr. Pettigrew; next desk..." I smiled in amusement as Flitwick began listing students. This was better than I could have hoped!

"You know, we're going to end up together," Sirius hissed in my ear, and I jumped because I hadn't noticed him next to me. "Or maybe you did this on purpose. Still think I'm losing my touch?" He smirked as Flitwick sat Lily and James next to each other.

"Losing your touch and gaining a few pounds in ego," I replied, rolling my eyes at him. Sirius shook his head at me as if in exasperation.

"Mr. Lupin and Miss Chambers, right in the center, if you please."

"Say what you want, _Artemis_, we both know I'm right." I shivered at the sound of my name coming from his lips.

"Yeah right, I was just starting to feel nauseous from you and June. All that public display of affection is making me sick."

"I see; I'll remember that for lunch, then," Sirius said thoughtfully as, unsurprisingly, Flitwick sat us together in the back corner. "Damn, he used it as an excuse to split up the Marauders," he muttered as he fell into his seat. And he had a point. The Marauders were more separate than they'd been in six years. Meanwhile, April was sending me death glares from the front corner of the room. I made a face back, to which Sirius commented sarcastically, "How mature."

There was no chance to make a biting comment as Flitwick began telling us about the Animation Charm we would be learning. Finally, after half an hour, he set us to work trying to bring small dolls to life.

"Ugh, this is going to be impossible!" I groaned as Flitwick set a small green-eyed, brown-haired doll in a green princess dress in front of me.

"Just do your best, Miss Gaunt," he said before handing Sirius an identical doll, only male and dressed in a green breeches and a black tunic. Sirius made a face at it as Flitwick walked away.

We sighed simultaneously and drew out our wands. Already, our classmates were cursing, their charms doing absolutely nothing.

"_Animus_," Sirius said, glaring at his doll in focus. Nothing happened. He shrugged and looked at me expectantly. I grumbled a little, but that wasn't going to help me any; so I turned to the doll.

"_Animus_," I repeated after Sirius. Nothing. "How did I even get into this class?" I asked myself, mimicking the pout on my dolls face.

"Don't ask me. _Animus_."

"It's not like I even really need it. _Animus_."

"I don't get you," Sirius said ponderously, after another fifteen tries (yes, I was counting). "You're pretty good at transfiguration, and Defense, but you can't figure out Charms for the life of you. _Animus_!"

I ground my teeth together. "If I could figure out why, I wouldn't have an A. _Animus_."

"Right. _Animus_!" The doll twitched slightly, hardly enough to notice.

"Ah, very good, Mr. Black, you're showing improvement!" Professor Flitwick commented, applauding his attempt. "Your turn, Miss Gaunt."

I stopped the groan of frustration that I dearly wished to release, and instead prodded at the doll. "_Animus_!"

"Still nothing, I see. Not to worry, dear, you'll get the hang of it." The bell rang at that point, lucky for me as I started swearing at him under my breath and the sound covered my voice. Sirius laughed as he put his wand back into his pocket.

"Sod off," I moaned, putting away my own wand. "Lily! Why can't I do it?" I cried as Lily came to a halt next to the desk. She scowled at me.

"I can't believe you got me sat next to that _prat_!" she exclaimed, completely ignoring my question. "And now I have to sit next to him every Charms lesson!"

I rolled my eyes at her. "I didn't do anything! It was all April! _She's _the one who went and _tattled_! Your girlfriend's such a pussy, Sirius," I added as a side note. Sirius sighed.

"So I've noticed."

"Poor Pete!" I said, shaking my head as I stood up and smirking at the feeling of satisfaction in my stomach. "I can't imagine having to sit next to her!"

Sirius shrugged. "At least she's a good kisser." I gagged at him and he sniggered. "You act like a first year, Artemis."

"Well, at least I don't snog anything that moves."

"You move, and I wouldn't snog you." I felt that disappointed pang again; I couldn't imagine how I managed to hide it, but I did.

"That's a relief." Sirius just smiled haughtily and followed April out the door. I scowled after him and folded my arms across my chest.

"You know, Lily," James said, bringing me out of a reverie, "if I didn't know any better, I might say our Artemis was, dare I say it, _jealous_."

I snorted before Lily could respond. "Oh please! Just because I got sick of him and June snogging in front of me doesn't mean that I'm _jealous_!"

"Of course not," James yielded, but I could hear the sarcastic bite behind it. Lily had a funny sort of grin playing on her lips, and Remus and Peter were giving me pitying looks.

"GAH!" I yelled frustratedly, snatching up my satchel and storming out of the classroom. Lily somehow managed to keep up with me, still smiling. "Stop looking at me like that, Lils! I am _not_ jealous!"

"At first I believed you, but now..." She laughed at my expression.

"Fine," I snapped at her, "if you're going to be that way, how was your walk with James? Didn't do any snogging, did you?"

Lily turned pink. "No! Of course not! We walked, and we talked a bit, but there was absolutely no contact at all!"

"Right," I responded in the same tone James had used on me. Lily glowered and refused to speak to me for the rest of break. As we sat down in Transfiguration, however, I said, "So do you think there ever _will_ be contact between you two? Snogging and stuff?"

"Are you kidding? I'd rather kiss a two-headed hippogriff!"

"But you two are getting on so well!"

"Admittedly, yes, we're better than we used to be, but _still_! Honestly! Me and _James_?"

I sighed and shook my head. "And yet you all think _I'm_ in love with _Sirius_!"

"That's a valid point, I suppose. But you know, you and Sirius are better than you used to be as well. You don't argue nearly as much, and you certainly don't seem as hateful towards him. Not to mention, you're actually calling him by his first name now!"

"So what? You're calling James by _his_ first name."

Lily scowled. "Touché. Really, though. Are you jealous?"

I opened my mouth to say "No, of course not!" But nothing came out. Lily stared at me as I furrowed my brows, trying to force the words out with no luck at all. Finally, I conceded defeat to whatever force would not allow me to say no, and shrugged and sighed. "I dunno," I said finally. "I mean, I'm not, but I am..." I paused and looked at her in horror. "Oh, Morgana, what the bloody hell's wrong with me?"

She seemed too stunned by what I'd told her to reply. Instead she watched in numb disbelief as I began running my hands through my hair wildly and wondering what on earth my problem was. Was I actually starting to like—No! No, no, no, nonononono! I could _not_ like Sirius. No way!

"Oh, Lily-Flower!"

Lily flinched and looked around as if she had awoken from a trance. James had sauntered up and straddled the chair of the desk in front of us.

"L-Lily-Flower?" she repeated while James was looking at me worriedly. "What happened to Lily-kins?"

"I decided I needed more than one nickname. I worked on that one forever," he confessed, though he continued to watch me pull my hair in distress. "What do you think of it?"

"What's up with her?" Peter asked as he took the seat next to James; he ultimately provided Lily the opportunity to ignore James' question while everyone turned their attention to me.

"What _is_ up with her?" Remus repeated as he took a seat across the aisle from me.

"Er, well..." Lily started, looking at me nervously. A split-second's eye contact and a barely perceptible shake of the head, and Lily seemed to understand that what we were talking about was private. "She forgot about, erm, the... Potions essay. You know, the one due tomorrow."

"Oh..." Remus said slowly. "Well... she can copy mine, if she'd like." James, Lily, and Peter looked scandalized.

"But Moony!" Peter cried. "You don't let _me_ copy!"

"That's cheating!" Lily chastised. "I'm ashamed to call you a prefect!"

I sighed and released my hair. "That's fine, Remus. Thank you, though. I'll just have to do it all tonight..." I lied. I'd finished that essay the night before, but they didn't have to know that. Peter and James shrugged, but Remus still looked suspicious.

"Are you sure? You can—"

"All right, everybody face front!" Professor McGonagall called as she entered her classroom. Reluctantly, the Marauders turned forward; Lily gave me one last glance before following the suit. That was when I noticed something: it was something that made my stomach twist painfully.

April and Sirius were noticeably absent.

***~~~***

Lunch that day was a rather somber affair. Lily kept shooting me anxious glances, now joined by Remus and occasionally James. Peter seemed happily oblivious as he ate shepherd's pie. Sirius was still MIA.

I poked angrily at my own shepherd's pie, not bothering to eat. Why in the hell was I so upset? It wasn't as if I positively liked Sirius. I really couldn't stand him! Everything he did was meant to rankle me. And it wasn't as if I cared about him; what he did with his girlfriends, be it shagging, snogging, or ditching them, was definitely none of my business.

But I continued to be irritated as the day wore on and there was still no sign of Sirius. He didn't show in Herbology. He wasn't in the common room during break. He certainly wasn't in the library, James insisted that he wasn't in the kitchens or in the dungeons, and I didn't see him at all on the frosty grounds.

The only good thing was that, at dinner, I spotted April. Her back was to me, but I could definitely tell that it was April; her hair, done always in the elaborate curls that I took such joy in destroying, was easily recognizable. The fact that she wasn't with Sirius managed to cheer me up slightly. I was really becoming irritated with being irritated anyways. The voice seemed to like it though, especially when I snapped at my friends, wouldn't eat my food, or became inexplicably pissy with my teachers (even earning a detention from Professor Aurelia... I really don't think she liked me much). Lily and Remus were still glaring at me suspiciously as we sat down in the Gryffindor common room, another thing that I was getting rather frustrated with. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm going for a walk," I stated acidly, rising from the armchair I had been occupying and storming out of the portrait hole. I could feel their eyes following my back as I went.

"Stupid bloody tossers," I growled as I stomped down the corridor. "Nosy little buggers. Bleeding twits..."

I was glad to not run into anyone as I crossed the entrance hall and exited the castle. I was still mumbling under my breath as I struck a path towards the lake; the waxing moon was already up, stars speckling the sky. Reaching the shore, I folded my arms across my chest.

Bloody hell, it was freezing. I hadn't thought to grab my jacket; it figured I wouldn't have, when I was so distracted. But I was tired of sitting around, letting meaningless irritation eat away at me. I would rather stand out here and freeze my arse off.

I think I stood out there near to half an hour. And then I heard whining. I turned around to look at the same black dog as before. His gray eyes were looking at me piteously, he was sniffing his way towards me, and when he finally reached me I patted his head. He, however, continued whining.

"Oh, stuff it," I commanded, squatting to look him in the eyes. "At least it's not bloody raining this time, mate; and you aren't gonna trick me this time! I'm not going in just because... you ... look at me like _that_! You stop that!" I ordered as the dog turned his gray eyes to meet mine, begging me silently. "I'm not going back in; least, I'm not going back in right _now_. I'll go in when I get too cold, I promise you." The dog seemed to glare at me, so I was surprised when he suddenly barked and jumped on me, licking my face. I laughed, even though the ground made me colder than I had been standing there. "Silly dog," I giggled, almost girlishly, "I'm not going in just because you try to maul me!"

He looked at me like he was amazed, then... bit me.

"Ow!" I yelped, but it didn't really hurt. It seemed more like a warning nip than an angry bite. "Don't do that!" I whined at him, flicking his wet nose. "You can't make me go! And now that I'm on the ground, I don't really feel like getting up." I crossed my legs stubbornly.

The dog almost seemed to sigh. I was a bit astounded, really, when he plopped down next to me, pressing his warm, furry, black body against my arm. For some reason... I felt rather embarrassed. I dunno why, but I did. Regardless, I began scratching the dog behind his ears, slipping into a reverie. I believe I was in said reverie for a total of... oh, say, five seconds, before the dog's whimpering cut into my thoughts of where the _bloody _hell Sirius was.

"What is it, boy?" I asked, almost exasperatedly. "You know," I interrupted myself, "it's getting rather old. Calling you 'boy' and 'mate' all the time. But I don't know your name..." The dog looked at me as if it were trying to telepathically communicate its given name, but it was obviously not possible, as no strange voice erupted in my mind to enlighten me (though the usual voice laughed coldly at me for talking to an "_inferior being_"). "Well, there's only one thing for it. I'll just have to make one up myself..." I cast around for a seemingly appropriate name. Before I came up with one, I sneezed; the sound echoed over the grounds, along with the dog's surprised bark. He looked up at me with those cloudy eyes and started sniffing my face. "Aha, that's it!" I said, laughing. "Well, now, Snuffles, I think someone's talking about me!"

My laughter died off gradually as my thoughts returned to Sirius. I sighed as the dog put his head in my lap and whined again.

"What is it?" He looked at me with knowing eyes, and I said, "Oh, Snuffles, you can tell I'm upset, huh?" I half expected him to nod, but, of course, that would have been ridiculous. He was only a dog, after all. I stroked his fur, turning my gaze to the lake with a frown. "It's stupid really. Very stupid. I don't even get it, to be honest. I mean, they think that I'm jealous of that bloody tart. I'm not! I'm definitely not jealous!" I paused and glared at the frigid water. "I _can't_ be jealous; I shouldn't even think of him at all! But for some reason... these past two weeks! Ever since Quidditch! I just don't get it! Why now? He hasn't changed any, damn it! He's still the same bloody dick head he's always been! So why, in the name of all things magical, am I jealous of that slag?"

Snuffles was quite obviously confused by my outburst, but really, it felt good to get it out.

_He's bewitching you_... the voice supplied in a low tone. _He wants to snare you, the same way you do him; but he wants to do it to hurt you_...

"Bewitching me?" I repeated, and now poor Snuffles looked extremely baffled, if a dog _could_ look extremely baffled. I paused in my stroking to ponder the possibility. Was Sirius Black trying to do the same thing to me as Melanie wanted me to do to him, only he was one step further? "Bewitching me..." I snorted, and Snuffles growled. "What a load of tosh! As if he was _smart_ enough for that. No, I don't think he's bewitching me, charming me, any of that like. But then what the hell—"

Snuffles and I both jumped as the clock tower began chiming, signaling to all students nine o'clock and curfew.

"Shit! I have to get back to the common room! You stay out of trouble, Snuffles, you hear!" I ordered, giving the black dog one last pat on the head before sprinting up the lawns back to the castle.

***~~~***

Sirius barely managed to make it back to the common room undetected. He was rather distracted as he snuck up the corridors, trying to take the quickest way to Gryffindor Tower, and he was nearly found by two prefects and one teacher. He made it, though, and clearly Artemis had as well; she was near to the girls' staircase, looking guiltily away from Lily as the latter most probably lectured her for being back after curfew. Sirius ignored the entirety of the common room, including an insane Melanie as she beckoned to him from close to the fire, instead heading for the boys' stairs, hoping dearly for a hot shower and a friendly chat with his fellow Marauders, and perhaps with Wes and Jon as well.

When he entered the seventh dormitory, the other five guys were not yet there; presumably, they were still downstairs, doing homework or flirting with girls or just goofing off like they usually did. But Sirius didn't really mind. He could shower first. After all, this was an important thing, this conversation that he wanted to have with the other guys. It was better that he brainstormed all possible questions first. Sirius smiled as he took off his shirt, throwing it haphazardly onto the floor next to the rest of his dirty laundry. He gathered the things he would need afterward, and then headed for the bathroom. Placing his articles on a shelf, he traced the thin white scar that his mother had given him as he fled from his house the summer before, but that wasn't what was on his mind.

Artemis was.

Soon, Sirius was nude, and he turned on the water, full on hot, so that it scalded his flesh, but hey, "no pain, no gain," right? And Sirius hardly felt it anyway, so absorbed was he in his thoughts. Finally, he was clean in body, and he was ready in mind; he ended the stream of water from the showerhead and dried and dressed himself.

This time, all five guys were in the dormitory

"Hello, mate," James greeted, digging through his trunk for some odd reason. "Where've you been all day?"

"Been off celebrating the fact that he's single again, no doubt," Wes said as he lounged back in his bed. "Bed her already, Sirius?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Mind your own business, Wes."

"Were you, then?" Peter piped up. "Out celebrating? I saw April at dinner, she looked absolutely horrible."

"You could see her tears all the way from where we were seating," Remus added. "Though obviously Artemis didn't see them..."

This caught Sirius' attention. "What does April have to do with Artemis?" Jon and Wes shrugged, but the other three Marauders shared a glance.

"Nothing at all, Pads!" James exclaimed.

"Don't mind me, I'm exhausted!" Remus shouted.

"She wasn't upset at all!" Peter yelped. James and Remus glared at him, but Sirius just smiled, filing away _that_ information for later use.

"Speaking of Artemis," he said, hoping to turn the conversation his way, "Any of you chaps happen to know who she fancies?"

James quite nearly said, "You," but he stopped himself at a look from Remus. "Er, no idea, mate; I heard she's off fancying at the moment."

"Yeah, she hasn't had a proper boyfriend since the beginning of the year," Wes said thoughtfully.

"She's _never_ had a proper boyfriend," Jon clarified, "as she's dumped them all after the first date for trying to push her to shag."

"But it's mid-November!" Peter exclaimed. "Can people live that long without having a, er, partner?"

The other five shrugged.

"Why do you ask, anyways, Padfoot?" Remus asked, as no one was able to answer Peter's question.

"Oh, well," he said, ready to spew out the excuse he'd planned during his shower. "I just heard her saying to Lily in the hallways that she was jealous of some slag and that... she... shouldn't..." Sirius wasn't even aware that his mouth was hanging open as everything clicked in his mind. Everything was suddenly clear to him. Artemis upset... some tart she was jealous of... someone she _definitely_ shouldn't like...

"Er, Sirius?" James said, giving his best friend a concerned look. "You alright?"

Sirius shook his head, and then nodded frantically. "Yeah, yeah, I just... I've just thought of something."

"What were you saying?" Peter asked, scooting nervously on his bed to edge further away from Sirius. "Artemis said she shouldn't what?"

"Never mind," Sirius said, shaking his head again. "It doesn't matter; I just wanted something to tease her with, but... never mind."

And he refused to talk any more on the subject. In his mind though, one thing kept repeating.

It was impossible. It had to be impossible.

But was it?


	17. No More Ms Nice Girl

**((A/N: Whee!!! Ch. 17! I feel so accomplished!! Thanks again to all those who reviewed!! And even to those who fave or alert!! Review today and get a free... non-existent cookie! But seriously, reviews are like sunshine!! Review!!))**

**((Disclaimer: I am the manifestation of awesomeness, but... I am not J.K.))**

I was through being Ms. Nice Girl. I was done being patient. I wasn't going to wait any longer, and I finally snapped.

"Jordan, you've been in the bloody shower for over a half an hour, now get the fuck out so I can wash!"

Yes, Melanie was apparently in a better mood than usual. She was taking advantage of this morning's long lines for the showers to punish me for some yet unknown crime.

"You didn't say please, Gaunt; you obviously have absolutely no manners. Besides," she changed immediately from snobbish to delighted, "I'm celebrating today!"

I snorted. "Celebrating what?" I asked. "The five month anniversary of Sirius dumping you?"

"No! The terrific stunt you pulled yesterday to get Sirius to dump that slag, April June. Even I have to admit that it was rather impressive."

"Dump her?" I repeated, confused. "Did he really?" I'd seen her at dinner, but as far as I could tell, she hadn't seemed as if she'd just been dumped.

"Did you not see her bawling her eyes out last night? It was bloody brilliant!"

Holy shit. Did Melanie just give me compliment? Or at least something close to one? "Er, right, must not have..."

"How could you miss it? It was totally obvious, the way her mascara left those hideous streaks all down her cheeks, and she was basically sobbing, she was crying so hard!"

"I was a little distracted, all right!" I snapped as Melanie _finally_ turned off the water.

"I could tell. How's our little endeavor going, Gaunt? Got him hooked yet?" she asked teasingly. I could tell she knew full well how much progress I was making. She was probably watching me. Creepy...

"Oh, fine," I replied, attempting and rather failing to be nonchalant. "Piece of cake. Speaking of cake, I want breakfast, and in order to get to breakfast, I need a shower."

"Oh, _really_," she asked venomously as she opened the door at last and walked out in only a towel. "You'd think you smelled bad enough to attract thestrals! Oh, wait... you do!"

I rolled my eyes and passed her to take a shower, relieved that she was _finally_ leaving. Indeed, she dried and dressed, and before long, everyone else had vacated the showers as well, leaving me to my thoughts. And what thoughts they were.

Had I actually done it? If Melanie was to be believed (which I was hesitant to do, for obvious reasons), April and Sirius had broken up yesterday. Had I caused it? Or was it something that might have happened even if I had let them go on snogging serenely yesterday at breakfast? Maybe I was reading too much into it?

Why did it matter to me so much anyways? Yes, I had Melanie's threats hanging over my head, but it seemed like the feelings went deeper than that.

"Ugh..." I groaned, turning the water down to freezing. "I'm going wonky, sod it all! Why is this happening?" I shivered, glaring at the spigot.

"Er, I don't know?"

I jumped nearly a foot in the air, slipping and barely catching myself before I fell to the floor. "Merlin's pants, Mira, you scared me!" I opened the door a crack and peeked through. Mira appeared to be scowling at the stone floor. The image reminded me that she hated me now.

"Right, sorry," she said coldly, folding her arms and looking increasingly like Melanie. "I just thought you should know that it's 8:30 and you're missing breakfast." She didn't wait for me to reply, turning on her heels and marching out of the bathroom with her nose in the air. Irritation welled in me, and for a second I wanted to march after her and shake some sense into her. And then I realized that I was still naked and I was now running late.

Off to a good start this morning, wasn't I?

***~~~***

"Late again, Miss Gaunt!" Professor Aurelia trilled when I hiked into class, late, and took an armchair between Lily and Sirius. "Another detention to add to the one you received yesterday, I think. Now, back to the cards—"

Yes, she most definitely didn't like me. Lily gave me a worried look when my stomach growled. Luckily, Aurelia didn't hear it and went on talking about the real talent it takes to interpret tarot cards.

"You missed breakfast, didn't you?" she whispered.

"Yes... stupid bloody Jordan and her forty-five minute shower..." I scowled at my belly balefully. James gave me a pitying look, and, surprisingly, Sirius looked a little worried as well. "I'm fine, it's not like going to starve," I said, rolling my eyes at them and pulling the cards toward me. Lily and James nodded, but all three continued to stare at me. "Merlin, you three act like I'm gonna collapse any second. I'm _fine_!"

"Okay, okay," James and Lily muttered at the same time, relaxing back into their chairs. "We're sorry, right Padfoot?"

Sirius nodded and settling into his own chair, but he still watched me intently with an oddly unidentifiable look on his face.

"Whatever."

"Now, I shall divide you into pairs, and you shall take turns divining the future through the cards. Let's see now... Mr. Gaunt, with Miss Pennyfeather. Miss Summerby, with Mr. Boot. Mr. Lovegood..."

"So why'd you get detention yesterday?" Sirius asked suddenly while Aurelia continued to list pairs. I scowled at said professor.

"I was being 'snippy' with her."

"And 'catty,'" Lily added with a small grin. "Can't forget the sight of her screeching at you about being 'snippy and catty.' I didn't think her voice could go that high."

"I think she makes it low on purpose," James put in thoughtfully.

"Mr. Potter, with Miss Evans."

"Oh..." Lily said. But, shockingly, she didn't complain. Instead, she sighed and followed an ecstatic James to a new table.

"Those two are such a wonderful couple!" I exclaimed happily. "Do you think they'll go to next Hogsmeade together?"

"Why were you being snippy?"

I stared at him. "Why do you—"

"Mr. Longbottom, with Miss Kirke. Miss Gaunt, with Mr. Black. Now does everyone have a deck?" I went silent with a suspicious look in Sirius' direction while Aurelia bid us to read each other futures using the Tarot cards, and then continued.

"Why do you care? Maybe if you'd been in class, you'd know. Do you want to go first?"

Sirius scowled at me and snatched the deck of cards from my hands. "Right, I was a bit busy breaking up with my girlfriend. I thought that was what you wanted?" He said bitingly as he dealt the cards the way Aurelia had drawn on her board.

I could feel blood rising to my cheeks, but I ignored it. "Who said that was what I wanted?"

"Well, no one did, but it was what you wanted. It was obvious."

"It was _not_ obvious, because it wasn't what I wanted," I lied, folding my arms stubbornly over my chest.

"You're a liar. You know you wanted me to break up with her; I know you wanted me to break up with her. It was obvious."

"Why the hell would I care anyways?" I snapped as I observed the circle of cards.

Sirius' smirked and leaned over the table, hiding the cards from my view. "Why don't you tell me?" His stormy eyes seemed to be telling me that he knew something; they were intense, and they seemed to insist that I understand what they knew. But I had no idea what he was talking about. Well, I sort of did, but not if he meant it in the way that I thought that he didn't mean it. After all, every time I thought that I knew what he meant, he actually meant something different, and so, because I thought that he meant that he knew that I _might_ be attracted to him, he obviously meant something else. Right?

Sirius laughed at my most-likely confused expression.

"Oh, sod off, you prat; and tell me my future."

"Right then, let's see..." he pulled out his divination book and flipped to the section about tarot cards. He pointed at the card in the center. The Lovers. "That one... means... you're in love with someone," he said simply.

"Wow, that was detailed," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "And obvious. Next."

"Okay... the Hierophant... Your public image and status with friends or in the community are of great concern... Don't sacrifice your beliefs or freedom for status... Keep alert to the outside world... Right..." he trailed off, glancing down at the next card. "The King of Pentacles... upside down... means you're sensitive... vulnerable to the suggestions of others... Tell your partners your objectives and feelings... Don't be afraid of rejection... Partners?" He smirked at me. "Someone's been busy."

"You're ridiculous. What else?"

"Queen of Wands... ironic. Don't know how you'd be made queen, but... it means dealings with authority figures go well... talk things out with friends and lovers... plural again, you must have been busy. Right, right, sorry..." he interrupted before I could tell him to sod off. "Ten of swords... Trouble in personal relationships, aw, that's too bad." He smirked again. "Next... Wheel of Fortune... You made your bed, now lay in it... own up to your actions or suffer the consequences... Yikes, what did you do?"

"Your commentary is pissing me off, Black."

He ignored me, moving to a card with a dragonfly carrying a key. Judgment. It was upside down. "Hmm...Your desire to escape is strong... Keep your mouth closed... Self-esteem is low and needs a boost. Ain't that the truth..." I grimaced at the reference to the earlier attempt; if only he know what had happened in the dormitory... "The Empress... Your passions are of primary importance to you now... News of wedding, pregnancy, or children arrives... I'm not going to comment on that one..." he hesitated. We were finally to the last card. "Death..."

"Right..."

He looked at me with an eyebrow quirked. "I'm glad I'm not you," he commented, pushing the cards back together and passing the deck to me.

"Right... well it's not like it means anything," I growled, shuffling the deck. "The class is a load of bollocks, anyways. Besides, we've all got to die someday." He gave me an awed look. "What? I'm right!"

"Well, yeah, but... never mind, just do mine."

I rolled my eyes at him, but dealt the cards anyway. And then we sat and stared at them.

"You didn't shuffle them right," he said.

"I did too! I think I know how to shuffle cards!"

"Well, obviously not! You can't deal the same set I did; the odds are way to low. It's not possible. Do it over."

I rolled my eyes, but I drew the cards back in and shuffled them again. "Fine, _fine_." He just glared at me.

"Shuffle them good."

"I _am_! Merlin, you're touchy today." I sighed, and dealt the cards again.

"It's not bloody _possible_! You did it wrong!"

"I did it just fine!"

"Professor, James and I keep getting the same circle!" Lily interrupted Sirius' and my argument. I turned around to look at James and Lily, as did Sirius.

"Do you, now? Well, that _is_ interesting..." Professor Aurelia whispered in a dramatic voice. She strode over to their table and looked down at their cards. "Ah, I see... the two of you will go through troublesome times together. Very troublesome indeed... yes, your lives are entwined. You will be together... until you die."

Laughter followed her statements. Everyone in the room knew that Lily and James wouldn't end up together; after all, they might be getting friendlier, but they certainly weren't in love, and odds were that they wouldn't be spending the rest of their lives together.

But me? I had goose bumps, my hair felt as if it were standing on end, and my internal organs felt aflame. Sirius looked like he felt about the same.

"Definitely a load of bollocks," he muttered, snatching up the deck. "I'll try again."

But nothing changed.

***~~~***

"That class is ridiculous!" Lily exclaimed as we trekked to lunch. "Me and James? Together until we die? That's absurd!"

"Tell me about it," I sighed, glancing over my shoulder to look at James and Sirius, who were both muttering furiously together. As a matter of fact, there were a lot of muttering groups. Word had spread quickly that James and Lily were supposedly meant to be together, and I was immensely relieved that they didn't all know about mine and Sirius' circles. "I don't believe anything I learn in that class for a second. Aurelia's a fraud anyway."

"What did yours say?" she asked. I blushed.

"M-mine? I dunno, something about death and consequences... don't look at me like that! You said it yourself, that class is a bunch of lies, none of it is true!"

"Yes, well, I suppose you're right, mine had Death too..."

"See! Load of tosh, that's what it is! There's no way I'll be with Sirius!" I pouted, and then panicked. "No, I mean, I didn't—"

"What?" Lily gasped, staring at me as we entered the crowded Great Hall. "You and Sirius?"

"No! I mean, well, sort of... don't say it so loud, Lily! It's just that, well, the same thing happened with me and Sirius that happened to you and James... the whole same cards thing. I mean, it probably wasn't the same at all!"

Lily shot me a skeptical look, but she withstood the suspicion in favor of getting her lunch. "If you say so... Er, you may be happy to know... James asked me to next Hogsmeade visit."

"Aha!" I exclaimed, causing Lily to jump. "And you said?"

"I told him... I suppose."

I stared at her. "You suppose?" I repeated.

"I suppose."

"Lily!"

"Well, I mean, it's just that, I don't know if I really like him that way yet, and I don't—"

"Like who? What way?" James asked, sitting next to Lily as Sirius sat next to me, and looking a bit put off by the conversation. Lily and I both turned bright red.

"No one! I don't like anyone!" Lily denied, giving me a talk-and-you're-dead look.

"Er, okay." But he didn't look very convinced. Sirius just stared at me. He hadn't really _stopped_ staring at me since Divination had ended. "Hey, Artemis, Sirius says you and he were having the same problem we were. In Divination, I mean."

I scowled at Sirius. "Well then, why don't we just tell the whole school, then, hm?"

"Well, why not?" Lily said glumly. "In a matter of hours, everyone now knows that me and James are 'meant to be together.' It's spreading all over the school like wild fire!"

"I don't understand! That class is bollocks! None of it is even near believable, they can't honestly believe what Aurelia said!"

"They'll do anything for good gossip," Sirius offered, still gazing steadily at my face. It was getting extremely annoying, but I wasn't going to tell him so. That was probably why he was doing it anyways. "You room with Melanie, you should know that."

"True. But _still_! It's just a load of—"

"Miss Gaunt, a word if you please."

I glanced over my shoulder to look at Professor McGonagall. Her lips were pressed together into a straight line, never a good sign when it came to her.

"Er, Professor..." I looked from her stern face to the whole sandwich that I had in my hands. I was hungry; I had missed breakfast, after all. But Professor McGonagall looked more serious than usual, a remarkable feat for her, you can be sure. I sighed and replaced my sandwich on the table. "Of course." My companions stared at me with wide, worried eyes as she beckoned for me to follow, and together we headed for her office.

It looked exactly the same as it had the last time I had been in (after I turned Sirius in a skunk, I believe), and I took the chair that Professor McGonagall offered me. She sat across from me and clasped her hands together on top of the desk. It reminded me vaguely of Dumbledore, when he'd explained first year to me and Apollo that we should, under no circumstances, use Parseltongue on school grounds. Her eyes even seemed to twinkle the same way; and then I realized why.

Her eyes were brimming with tears.

I wasn't sure what to do. After all, I'd never seen Minerva McGonagall in tears before; I'd never seen her relax her demeanor enough for any emotion except for anger or pride to slip through. But she'd never cried, as far as I'd seen. Of course she'd cried before; but I had reason to believe that no student had seen her cry. And yet, hear she was, tears filling her eyes, staring at me with her usually thin line of lip turned down in a pitying frown. My stomach seemed to drop a notch; something terrible must have happened, to make her this way.

"Pr-Professor?" I started when she made no move to speak. "Are you alright?"

She gave an almighty sniff, pulling a handkerchief from nowhere. "Yes, yes, I'm sorry," she muttered, blowing her nose and wiping her eyes. "It's just that... Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Professor Dumbledore asked me to tell you, but I'm hardly the right person for the job." She sniffled again, and my stomach lurched again. "You see... You-Know-Who's followers, the Death Eaters... they attacked your Great Aunt Diane Pemberly's home. I'm terribly sorry to tell you this. Your Great Aunt, and her son and his family, perished in the attack."

Now my stomach seemed to have jumped right out of my body altogether. "Great Aunt Di... is dead?" I repeated numbly. That was impossible. Di was one of the strongest people I knew. She couldn't be dead! And Charles? He was strong, too. He'd been Head Boy in his Hogwarts days, and he was... No, they couldn't be dead. All of a sudden, I was swept back to the happier moments of my childhood, most of which included Aunt Di and her family. Me and my second cousin Zachary, Charles' son, had greatly enjoyed pulling up Di's Rhododendrons, or else using magic to set them aflame, though she always took these attacks playfully and with good humor. Di had always made the best strawberry-rhubarb pie when I came to visit her, and she liked me over my brother (bonus!). Charles and his wife, meanwhile, enjoyed spoiling me every Christmas, to the displeasure of my father. Their son Zach had already graduated from Hogwarts, and he worked with his father against Voldemort and his followers. Di helped them wherever she could.

Which was why, even though I didn't want to, I could believe that the Death Eaters would target them. But that they were dead?

While all this was running through my mind, McGonagall continued to blubber about my Great Aunt. This made sense too. Di and Minerva McGonagall had attended Hogwarts the same year, and they were both in Gryffindor as well (she was on my mother's side, in a family that didn't value their pure blood quite as much). They'd been best friends. Currently, McGonagall was reliving one of their more adventurous times, when she'd tried and failed to keep Di from sneaking out after hours.

I bit my bottom lip, tuning the professor out. Dead... they couldn't be. But why would they tell me so if they weren't? I noticed that the voice in my head was laughing; it seemed intensely amused by my confusion and my distress, as it always was.

_Go away_, I thought, _just leave me alone_!_ Can't I just suffer in peace_?

But it continued to laugh, so I tuned it out too. I was remembering last Christmas. We'd been at Di's house, exchanging gifts and "Merry Christmas"es. Charles and his wife had given me a magical encyclopedia (detailing every known plant and animal in the Wizarding world). Di, meanwhile, had given me the most gorgeous sapphire necklace, insisting that "every beautiful young woman should have a necklace made of sapphires." Even as my hand traveled to my throat, I remembered that I'd told her that I would never wear it, that she shouldn't have given it to me, that it was going to waste away its life in a drawer or a bag or a box. Where was that thing now? The last time I'd seen it, it had been in my school bag, true to what I said to Aunt Di. I hadn't seen it for a while now...

But I couldn't focus on that. I still couldn't even accept the fact that my favorite aunt and cousins may be dead. What was wrong with the world? Was it intent on torturing me? First it gave me a shitty family. Then it made me go to school with Sirius. And then it decided I could use a crazy voice in my head and took away my favorite relatives. Damn world. Fine, be that way.

I'll make the best of it, I decided with resolve. No letting the world get me. I wasn't going to lose to the world, oppressive as it was. I wasn't going to give in to Melanie and her blackmail, to Sirius' hateful ways or to his unusually civil antics, and definitely not to this. No.

And then it hit me. They were dead. If Voldemort wanted them dead, then they were dead. After all, so few could actually stand up to him, the darkest and most powerful wizard in the world. Except maybe Dumbledore. And Aunt Di and Charles were definitely nowhere near his level. They were dead, gone forever.

_No crying!_ I told myself, even as the tears gathered in my eyes, as shock and grief tore through my body. _I just told myself I wasn't going to lose, and that means NO crying at all! I can deal with this._

"Of course, Professor Dumbledore says that he will be willing to allow you to leave the school to be with your family—"

"No!" I yelled, which seemed to throw McGonagall off guard. Aversion to the idea of going home to be with my family filled me with horror. I could only imagine my mother's grief-stricken form, my father's smug face as he contemplated Di's fate. "Er, I mean... I'd rather not, Professor. I'd rather stay here, if it's all the same. Except maybe for the funeral?" McGonagall stared at me for a minute more, blinking a bit and still probably in shock from my shout.

"Well... yes, I suppose that would be just fine. And I'm sure Albus would be fine if I allowed you to miss classes, at least today's. After all, this is a terrible loss, and you can hardly be expected to work with such a shock..."

"No, no, I shouldn't miss classes... N.E.W.T.s are at the end of this year and—"

"Miss Gaunt, you cannot possibly want to go to class in such a mental state! In fact, I _forbid_ you to go to class for the rest of the week! You need a break, Miss Gaunt, and I order you to take one!" Professor McGonagall huffed angrily, glaring down at me through shining, tear-filled eyes. She had stood up in her sudden fury, and now she slowly lowered herself back into her chair.

Was she actually telling me I couldn't go to class? Stern, strict, stuffy Professor Minerva McGonagall was actually _ordering _me not to go to class?

Oh, Merlin, the world really was ending, wasn't it?

I gaped at her for what seemed like hours, but was, in actuality, only about five minutes, before she rose again.

"Well, Miss Gaunt, I suggest you go and rest, or perhaps you should find something to preoccupy yourself. I will—"

"But Professor! If I don't go to class, I'll fall behind and—"

"I will alert your teachers to the fact that you are not allowed in class, and if I hear that you've tried to attend a lesson, it will be detention, Miss Gaunt! Now, off with you!" she sniffed, pointing to her door and communicating clearly with a glare that our discussion was over. The tears that had gathered in my eyes were gone, dried up by the shock and fury at the fact that I _couldn't_ go to class. I glared at her furiously before grunting and stomping from her office.

I stayed in that same irate state as I stormed up to Gryffindor Tower, snarling the password at an offended Fat Lady and frightening a group of third years that had a break this period. I found my dorm empty, as everyone else had classes to go to. Shutting the door, I mutely cast a silencing charm over the whole room and threw my bag onto my bed. Charm completed. No one would hear this moment of weakness.

I screamed.

***~~~***

I resisted the urge to scream. Again. Where the bloody hell was it?

I'd searched what seemed like the whole castle for the necklace, the one I'd gotten from Aunt Di, but it was nowhere to be found. I'd combed the girls' dormitory, I'd searched the other girls' dormitories, I'd rummaged around the Gryffindor common room (earning myself scathing glares from those who were attempting to do homework), and I'd went to all of my teachers to ask if they'd seen it. As a last resort, terrible though it was, I'd even dared to go to Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to ask if he'd seen the damned sapphire necklace. But it was nowhere.

I knew that it had to be somewhere, of course. Things didn't just vanish off the face of the earth. Usually. I was certain that it had been in my bag the last time I'd seen it. But now it was gone. Had someone stole it? Had it fallen out? Maybe it was like Leprechaun gold: maybe it vanished over time?

I was currently on my way to the library, carrying said bag with me and figuring that if I didn't find my necklace, then at least I could work on my Herbology homework, racking my brains to think of any place that I hadn't searched already. I rounded the corner into the main fifth floor corridor—

And immediately jumped back around it. Because around that corner was the last person that I wanted to see. Well, second to last. Well, okay, maybe not even second to last, but definitely someone that I didn't want to see.

Sirius and James were conversing in hushed voices, both with their backs turned to me, just around the corner. I'd barely heard something that sounded like "old cat murdered her and now she's six feet under in the forest," before I'd recoiled. No, I definitely didn't want to deal with their questions, which they were almost sure to have, as I hadn't been in class all afternoon and was quite clearly alive and well. Well, for the most part. I quickly hastened back down the corridor, thinking that I'd find another way to the library.

At the end of the corridor, I realized that it was a dead end corridor and that no matter how I got to the library, I still had to go around that corner.

Damn Founders. Why the hell did you put this dead end here? Stupid Slytherin ancestor, I cursed, turning around to trek back down the corridor and brave the torrent of inquiries only to see Sirius heading my way anyways. What was interesting was the look of relief that colored his face. Almost as if he'd worried. Like I had yesterday. Revenge? Er, definitely, let's call it that.

"Artemis," he acknowledged, coming to a stop about twenty steps away, obviously waiting for me to come alongside him.

"Sirius," I said as cordially as I could manage. I was in no mood for his usual haughty and rude self. Or for his unusual gawking and observant self. Or whatever. The point was, I wasn't in the mood for Sirius, which would lead to serious trouble, which would lead to probable suspension or expulsion. If Sirius noticed the sour mood, he made no effort to better it.

"I was wondering where you were," he stated smugly, pleased, perhaps, that he'd found me. "James and Lily were worried. What did McGonagall want?"

"None of your business," I replied tersely, walking right past him. Unfortunately, he fell into step next to me. Now, however, his expression was more concerned than relieved or smug.

"Why were you skipping class?"

"It's none of your business," I repeated, my frustration level rising, especially when I remembered that I was supposed to be seducing this arse. I wondered if there was a way to get his attention off of my foul mood, while at the same time not pissing me off further. Oh, wait, that was probably impossible.

"Something wrong?" Would it work? Well, I suppose it was worth a shot, right? It would get his focus off of my bad temper and the mystery of why I wasn't in class all afternoon. At least, I think it would.

"_Nothing_! Merlin, it's none of your—Oh, for the love of—" I cursed as a seam on my bag split, sending books, parchment, and ink across the floor. For a second, Sirius and I just stared at the mess; I considered leaving it there, just because I didn't feel like cleaning it. But then I'd get in trouble, and I wouldn't have my Herbology stuff. So I cursed and ground my teeth some more as I knelt down to gather up my stuff. Dunno why it made me so mad, seeing how I was the one who split it... I didn't look around at Sirius.

Until he knelt down next to me and started gathering my stuff together. Well, who would have thought that Sirius could be such a gentleman?

"Did that on purpose, didn't you?" he asked without looking up at me. Ah. He wasn't being a gentleman, he was trying to antagonize me. Again.

I snorted indignantly, awed again by how good an actress I was. Who knew? "I don't know what you're on about, Sirius. Did you hear me curse my bag? Because I didn't." It was a good thing that I was pretty good at nonverbal spells, regardless of how much I sucked with the actual charm itself.

Sirius smirked at me. "I thought you had more guts than that, Artemis. If you wanted to change the subject, you could have just said so. This is just tragically cliché."

"I like tragedies," I snapped, losing my cool for a second as I shut and donned my repaired bag. "And I didn't do it on purpose!"

"Oh. Right then, I'll just get going then. I've got things to do," he said suavely, marching away down the corridor.

"Wait, Sirius," I called, though of course this was exactly what I wanted. Damn Melanie Jordan. Sirius stopped and looked back at me over his shoulder.

"Yes?" I blushed at his nonchalant demeanor. Merlin's little finger, I hated him!

"Er, are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?" I asked, knowing that my face was probably a brilliant shade of red by now.

"I didn't plan on it..."

"Oh..."

We stared at each other in silence for a minute. Finally, Sirius broke it.

"Are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?"

"I didn't plan on it..."

Another awkward pause. Really awkward. Really very awkward. Finally:

"So you did do it on purpose then?"

I glared at him. "No!" I cried, stomping past him down the corridor. Sirius chuckled as he caught up to me.

"Hey, I bet you're hungry," he stated randomly. "Since you missed breakfast, lunch, _and_ dinner."

"So what? You haven't got a foot-long turkey sandwich hidden in your robes, have you?" I asked jokingly, rolling my eyes at him. He just smirked at me. If he pulled a foot-long turkey sandwich out of his robes, I was going to kill him.

"'Fraid not, but I _can_ get us into the kitchens to nick some food. If you're hungry." I looked at him suspiciously. If I didn't know any better, I would have said that he was trying to suck up to me. "And your bag would be pretty useful too, for carrying extras, that is. Well, as long as you don't split it on purpose again."

Oh, so that was it. He wanted me for my school bag. Lovely... and infinitely more Sirius than he'd been all day. "I didn't—" I started, but he interrupted me.

"Right, right, you didn't do it on purpose. Are you in or not?"

I scowled at him. "Fine." He grinned smugly.

"Excellent."


	18. The Lost and Found

**((A/N: Chapter 18!! How magical! Hope you enjoy. Read and Review!!!))**

**((Disclaimer: Me no ownie Harry Potter. Me ownie a cookie!))**

It came to me in the middle of a dream: I was flying through the air, laughing, and oddly enough Sirius was flying along with me. I numbly wondered why Sirius, but we were flying towards the most gorgeous full moon I'd seen in my lifetime, so I really was too overjoyed to care. The moon was coming closer, getting larger and increasingly more beautiful by the minute. We were almost there, I could see all the individual craters and mountains, and _I knew where it was!_

Suddenly, I was bolt upright in my bed, the vision of that great moon fading away, Sirius' laughter ringing in my ears. But this time, it made sense, why he was laughing. It was the same laughter that I heard when he laughed after pulling a prank.

Because I'd just remembered the one place that I hadn't looked for Aunt Di's necklace. And there was only one way that it could have gotten there.

***~~***

"Sirius!" I yelled, catching sight of his shaggy black hair as he headed toward the portrait hole. He looked over at me and smiled as he registered my agitated expression.

"Miss Gaunt," he said formally, and obviously jocosely, bowing and gesturing to the door in a gentlemanly way. James, meanwhile, was gaping at me stupidly. "Ladies first."

"Actually, I need to talk to you." His face fell.

"Shit, you found out about the fire whiskey, didn't you?"

Not what I'd expected. It was such a switch in direction that I stared at him for a few seconds while I puzzled over it. Last night, in the kitchens, we'd actually got on pretty well. At least, we didn't start yelling or anything at each other. Once I'd been properly fed, I actually felt pretty okay, besides the shock and fear and sorrow.... Then I figured it out; my jaw dropped.

"You spiked my bloody pumpkin juice?" I cried, staring at him in horror. He flushed deeply.

"Oh... you didn't, then..."

"But I've never—you didn't—but I don't—"

"It wasn't much," Sirius said defensively, but I wasn't the only one gawking at him now. James was no longer staring at me, but at his best mate. "Just enough to loosen you up a little. Not like—You were just so uptight, and you seemed down, and I just thought—"

"Sirius Black, just because I'm upset doesn't mean you should get me drunk!"

"I didn't get you drunk! You were just a little out of it, is all... and it's not like I would take advantage of you if you were drunk, which of course you weren't! I just—"

"Oh, shut up!" I snapped. "We'll deal with that later; right now I need to talk to you!"

He looked surprised, but he also seemed eager for the issue to be forgotten as he nodded and gestured for me to lead. James, joined by Lily and the other Marauders, stared after me with unidentifiable expressions.

When we were safely enclosed in the nearest empty classroom, he sighed.

"All right, then, Artemis, if you aren't mad at me for putting a little alcohol in your juice, what's wrong?"

I sighed and turned my gaze from the floor. He gawked at me.

"Bloody hell, what happened to you? You look like you—"

"Sirius, you took something out of my bag," I interrupted. His face almost instantly paled.

"Er, no I didn't."

"Yes, you did, you arse! Don't deny it!"

"I don't know what you're—"

"Sirius, please. I'm not in the mood for arguing with you. I know you took the necklace, and I need it back. I'm not allowed in class today, so if you try denying it again, I'll just search while you six guys are in class. Either way, I'm getting it back, and I'd feel loads better if you'd just give it to me."

Maybe it was my dull tone; maybe it was my sad expression; maybe it was just his guilt eating away at him from inside. Either way, I was surprised when he nodded.

"Tell you what," he started, looking as if he were treading deep water. "I'll give it back if you tell me what's wrong."

The voice cackled. _So nosy! Just get rid of him! You know how he is._

"Black," I snarled, "it's none of your—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, none of my business. But you seem upset still—"

"Oh, well, maybe you ought to get me drunk, that ought to solve that, right?" I said acidly. He grimaced.

"I told you, it was only a little—" He shook his head, his expression irritated. "Listen, I'm just trying to say that I'm here, and you can talk to me! Obviously, you're distressed, and I don't want it to end up like last time—"

"How do you know about last time?" I interrupted, shocked and horrified. He knew about what I'd done? He gave me a suspicious look.

"I was there, remember? The Vellugs?"

"Oh... right," I said, blushing. "Sorry, stress, stuff..."

"Unless there was another last time that I'm not aware of?"

"Pfft!" I said, glaring at him. "Mind yours and I'll mind mine. It's better that way." But Sirius didn't seem satisfied with that as he blocked me from leaving.

"Why aren't you allowed in class today?"

Merlin love him, he was so bloody perceptive! I'd barely mentioned the fact in passing, and he'd still picked up on it! Not to mention, he was blocking my only exit, unless I decided to leap out the window (which the voice happily encouraged...). I scowled at him, deeply wishing that I could become intangible and walk through the wall.

"It's not any—"

"Artemis!" he growled, giving me an odd, intense, and extremely _serious_ look. "You can talk to me. I know you think I'm just a bigheaded arse, and really, most of the time I am... to you. But you can tell me things. I haven't..." he paused and gave me a nervous look. "I haven't told anyone about it. Last time. The last time that I was there anyways..." he glowered at me, but it was only momentary, as the anxiety quickly returned. "I know when to be Sirius and when to be serious. Er, well, when to be Padfoot and when to be serious. Like... well, you know what I mean. Don't stare at me like that!"

But I couldn't help it. Was Sirius actually worried about me? Genuinely concerned for my well being? I got the feeling that, somewhere, monkeys were wearing tutus and performing Romeo and Juliet for an audience of hippos and giraffes. He seemed to be expecting me to say something.

"Oh..." was all I could come up with. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Okay then. Listen, we can talk later if you want. I—"

"My Great Aunt Diane died," I whispered. Sirius immediately went silent. "I don't... want your pity. She was my favorite aunt, on my mother's side, and she was killed by Death Eaters, but I know she'd want me to go on like normal. But then, when I told McGonagall that I didn't want to miss class she told me I wasn't going and that if I tried she'd give me detention. So now I'm not allowed in class today."

Sirius gaped at me. Finally, he looked down at the floor and shook his head. "You are probably the only student in this school who wouldn't jump at the chance to miss class." He grimaced at my glare. "Sorry; back to serious. I'm sorry about your aunt. If you need a shoulder to cry on... you can use James'." This left me dumbfounded. And here I was thinking he was being sensitive. "And I suppose if James runs out of shoulder... I've got shoulders too," he muttered, shuffling his feet and making a face at the dust. Ah, that was better... or at least a little more comforting.

Huh... this day just kept getting weirder and weirder. First Sirius confesses that he actually cares about me, and then he offers me comfort. If he were a girl, I might have said he was PMSing. Maybe he was bipolar? Or maybe he'd gone crazy the way that I was going to soon.

Finally, I said, "You're going to be late to class." Sirius jumped and looked up at me, as if he'd forgotten I was there.

"Er... right. Yeah, I should go." He gave me a worried look. "On second thought, it's just one day..."

"Go to class, you moron. Why are you acting so weird today, anyways? Yesterday too." His face turned pink, increasing my suspicion. "Are you sick?" I asked. He glared at me.

"Fine, going to class then," he said, moving towards the door. "And I'll give you the necklace at lunch." He gave me one last look, and then he was gone, and I was left more confused than relieved.

***~~~***

"Thank you," I breathed, looking down at the necklace in my hands happily, or at least, as happily as I could when I thought that my favorite aunt and her entire branch of the family had been murdered. "You have no idea how much I mean that. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Sirius stared at me with an eyebrow raised. "You're welcome?"

I rolled my eyes. "You should be happy! I said thank you, and you know I rarely say that... to you. And I was serious, too, that's a bonus."

"Right..."

"Hey Sirius—" Wes called, immediately cutting off as I glanced over my shoulder at him standing in the doorway. "Oh, er, didn't realize you were busy mate, sorry 'bout that..."

"Oh, shut up, Wes," I snapped, shaking my head at him. "Do I look like I'm getting ready to do dirty stuff with," I gagged, "_Sirius_?"

Wes grinned. "Well, you never know."

I scowled at him. "You're a bleeding moron."

"Hey!" he whined, but I ignored him and walked past to the staircase.

When I reached the common room, I was surprised to see that Sirius was still behind me. He had returned to staring at me, the same way that he'd stared at me all day yesterday. And it was getting kind of creepy. I opened my mouth to tell him to knock it off, but he interrupted me as he came alongside me.

"Er, hey, Artemis?" he started looking at me sideways.

"Yes?" I asked warily.

"Erm, well..." he looked around the common room as if checking that no one could hear us. Everyone was busy with his or her own pursuits, so he took a breath and continued. "See, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend."

I gaped at him. This was definitely unexpected. And something was definitely up with him.

"Not as a date!" he said suddenly, probably responding to the baffled expression I was giving him. "I mean, just as friends. And because we don't really have anything else to do. I mean, James and Lily are going together. Remus got a date with that Ravenclaw Prefect he fancies, and Peter needs to catch up on his Potions homework. You aren't really friends with Mira or Olivia anymore, right? So you don't have anything to do, I don't have anything to do. And you know how I get when I'm bored."

I glared at him at the mention of Mira. "How do you know I wasn't going to hang out with Apollo? Maybe we were going to study or just talk or something."

"Oh, right," he nodded, "forgot that part. Your brother still hates you for wiping the field with the Slytherin team at Quidditch, so you still don't have anything to do."

I sighed. "Men and their bloody pride," I muttered. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"So? Yes or no?"

"Well, I don't want people to think I'm actually going out with you," I lied, seeing how that was exactly what I needed people to think, "so—"

"No one has to know. We can hang out in the less popular streets. Or we could go see the Shrieking Shack. Everyone'll be too terrified to go up there anyways." He paused. "Or we could—"

"All right, all right! Merlin, you drag on!" I moaned. "Fine. I'll go, but you try anything, and I swear you'll regret it. I can do way better than an asexual skunk, you know."

He grimaced. "Great. Let's get some lunch, I'm starving."

Well, that was easy.

***~~~***

"So you can come back to class on Monday, right?" Lily asked, looking at me inquisitively over her hot fudge sundae that evening. "Because I don't know how long I can stand being with these four morons."

I nodded, smiling, and said, "I completely understand, Lils! Stupidity can only be taken in small doses."

"Hey!" James whined. "I resent that! In case you've forgotten, we're all doing better than you in Charms."

Ah, wonderful. Another mention of my mediocre Charms skills. Sirius snorted.

"I think _everyone's_ doing better than Artemis. She's still at first year level."

"Oh, ha, ha!" I growled, rolling my eyes. "Think you're so funny, don't you? And that's what makes you so stupid."

"Think? We _are_ funny," James corrected.

"No, actually, you're _not_," Lily argued.

"In any case," I interrupted before the two could start arguing over something so frivolous, "McGonagall is reluctantly allowing me to return to class because Professor Dumbledore told her that it was my choice. Otherwise, she probably would have made me miss another month."

"I don't understand why you're not going home," Remus said, looking at me with a frown. "If my great aunt died, I'd go home..."

"Well, yes," I said slowly, "but you and I are in completely different situations." Remus grew wide-eyed, and the four Marauders exchanged glances.

"Er, what do you mean?" Remus asked, suddenly looking extremely nervous.

"I mean that you don't hate your home," I clarified, wondering what they thought I meant. They shared a look of relief, and then of concern.

"What's so bad about your family?" James asked, and I realized that I'd never really told any of them about my home life; all they knew were bits and pieces. I bit my lip.

"Er, well... it's just that... I'm sure Sirius' family is worse..."

"Thanks," Sirius said sarcastically before pausing and looking at me seriously. "But you're probably right. And you didn't answer the question."

I scowled at him. "Well... it's just that my family... we just don't _connect_ well. My father likes to be in control, and he gets upset when he's not. My mum is so... suffocating, and it drives me crazy; drives my dad crazy too, 'cause he's absolutely loathed me since first year, when I got sorted into Gryffindor, for reasons you all probably get." They looked at me cluelessly, and I rolled my eyes. "Since we're related to... you know, starts with an S, evil, brother's in his house?"

"Oh, yeah, Slyth—" Sirius jabbed Peter in the side with his elbow, shutting him up quick.

"Thank you, Sirius." He nodded, giving me a grim look. "Well, since we're related to him, Dad feels that we should all be in his house, so you can imagine how upset he was... and so he hates it when my mum showers me with love and affection."

"That's terrible!" Lily exclaimed, giving me a pitying look. I snickered.

"Not really. It's annoying, but we never really saw eye-to-eye anyways. He always thought Voldemort—" Lily, Remus, and Peter flinched— "had the right idea, still does. And me, I think he's off his rocker, to say the least. We never really had a chance at one of those mythical, wonderful father-daughter relationships. Him and Apollo, though, that's a different story. You all know Apollo. He can be snobbish and nasty, but he was never as big a supporter of Vol—You-Know-Who," I switched abruptly, rolling my eyes as Lily scowled at me.

"You three are pussies," Sirius voiced my opinion out loud. "It's not like the name is going to kill you."

"But—"

"Dumbledore says that fear of the name only makes it worse," James added.

"And since when do you talk to Dumbledore personally?" Lily asked scathingly.

"Since our pranks became too big for the teachers to deal with," Remus said wearily. "And I don't think that I really fear the name, I think it's the thought of the man that the name invokes."

"Right, well, how would you put up a fight against him if you're afraid of his very name? Or, in Moony's case, the thought of him?" Sirius asked with a frown.

"We probably won't ever fight _him_," Lily said logically, shaking her head. "I mean, we'd be more likely to go up against his Death Eaters than You-Know-Who himself. After all, they're the ones who do his dirty work."

"But if you ever did come face-to-face with him?" I asked. "Because you never know. If he feels you're too big a threat, he'll come and get you himself, and if you're afraid of just his name..."

"But—But what are the chances of that?" Peter asked, his voice shaking in fear at the thought of Voldemort attacking him.

"I don't know! Do I look like a mathematician?" He shook his head at me frantically. "Right, like I said: you never know. And to say that it never will is to jinx it."

"Right," Sirius nodded.

"Right," Lily repeated. "Can we change the subject to something a bit more... cheerful?"

"Sure," I acquiesced with a small smile. "So you and James are for sure going to Hogsmeade together next weekend?"

James and Lily turned exactly the same shade of red. "Er, yes, I—yeah, we're planning on going to Madam Puddifoot's again," Lily answered.

"And we might stop in at the Three Broomsticks," James added.

"I feel really bad, though," Lily admitted, looking at me guiltily. "About leaving you here alone, I mean. If you want, you can join us at the pub and—"

"No! No, I'll be fine, Lils, no worries! You two enjoy your date!"

"Date..." Lily repeated, getting redder still. "I don't—"

"So, have you got your whole date all planned out? Or are you just going to... wander?" Sirius interrupted, glancing at me stealthily.

"We've got it all planned. We're going to Madam Puddifoot's in the morning, then we're going to wander Main Street, and then we're coming back to the school for lunch." James winked at me. "I've got special plans for that. But it's a secret!"

Lily scowled at him; obviously, she was immensely curious about these "special plans," but she wasn't getting anything out of him. I sighed and smiled at the couple. They were... perfect.

***~~~***

"Why can't I do it?" I cried furiously, prodding at the horrific green-eyed doll in Charms that Wednesday. "Move, you stupid doll, move! _Animus_!" The doll twitched half-heartedly, but by now everyone else's was doing simple things like sitting up, or at least moving an arm or a leg enough to qualify as movement, which meant that I was still far behind.

"Because you're a moron?" Sirius answered me helpfully. I glared at him as his princely doll got to its feet and shared his smug look.

"That does _not_ help me," I snarled. "What I need is someone to tell me what I'm doing wrong! Because Merlin knows I'm never going to get this stupid spell right!"

"You're prodding too much."

I stared at him. "What?"

"You're prodding too much," he said simply. "With your wand. You need to wave it more, but not too much. It's a delicate balance." He glared at me as I continued to stare at him with my mouth partially open. "Don't look at me like that! I'm not stupid you know."

"I suppose not."

"Well, see if I ever help you again," he said venomously.

"No, sorry," I said quickly, closing my mouth. "It just surprised me that you were helping me, I guess. Let me try again... _Animus_!"

Still nothing but a twitch. I glowered at it.

"You're still doing it wrong," Sirius informed me smugly. "Like I said, less prodding, more waving." He demonstrated for me by bringing his doll to life again. I watched carefully, aware that he was probably not going to show me again. After a minute, he let the doll fall lifeless and turned in his chair to watch me. "Your turn."

I sighed. "_Animus_!" The doll twitched again, though it seemed to be a lot bigger twitch than before (or maybe that was my wishful thinking).

"That was better, but you're still not waving it enough."

"You're such a know-it-all," I grumbled. He glared at me. "A very helpful know-it-all! Er, can you show me again?"

His glare subsided slightly (though that may have been wishful thinking as well...) as he performed the charm again, and then he turned to watch me try again. We went on like this for the rest of the hour, and by the end, (to my greatest surprise), I'd managed to make the princess doll move an arm. Professor Flitwick was so impressed with the way that Sirius had improved my charm that...

He appointed Sirius my personal Charms tutor. And Sirius scowled at me furiously for the rest of the day. Obviously, I wasn't the only who was unhappy with the appointment. Or at least, who was pretending to be unhappy about the appointment. Because, oddly, I wasn't unhappy about it at all. In fact, I was rather ecstatic.

I mean, not because I wanted him to hang out with me, because I didn't. Clearly, it was because I had Melanie's threats hanging over my head, and anything that made the job easier was fine with me.

Okay, maybe I wanted to hang out with him a _little_. Maybe. But not because I liked him!

Oh, hell, what's the point in denying it? Maybe I had a little crush on him. And when I say little, I mean majorly microscopic. Like a teeny, tiny, itsy-bitsy crush. Like a schoolgirl's crush. If I ignored it long enough, it would go away. And I _would_ ignore it. I'd pretend to like him, but inside, I would quell the masochistic feeling inside that was attraction.

Yes, masochistic. Self-harming. That was exactly what being attracted to Sirius Black was. It would never last. Sirius Black had a reputation, after all. He didn't stay with most girls long (though of course there were exceptions). Most girls were overly paranoid that he was going to cheat on them. Not to mention, he and I had little in common, as far as I knew; and then there was my family, all of whom would have a great hissy fit the day I got serious with Sirius. Which I wouldn't, because, as I said, I was going to suppress those feelings.

Oh, damn, now I'm rambling.

In any case, Lily pretended sympathized with me about my new tutor in Transfiguration, while Sirius scowled at me from where he sat with James. At lunch, the other Marauders laughed at Sirius' scathing mood. Lily rolled her eyes at them while she ate her chicken, and I sat silently while continuing my debate with myself. The voice was even laughing at me, which I ignored. Stupid voice didn't know anything about anything anyways.

My argument with myself was finally ended, however, when I realized that someone was missing.

"Er, guys, where's Remus?" I asked. The three remaining Marauders looked at me thoughtfully.

"He's visiting his—"

"Great-grandmother—"

"In Italy!"

"She's on her deathbed, you see," Sirius clarified, his scowl fading in favor of an unusually grave expression. "And he was her... oh, Merlin, you know, it doesn't really matter; the point is: he's not here," he switched abruptly. I glared at him.

"He was her favorite?" I continued for him. "And she was his. And perhaps after she dies, we should all treat him like a fragile young Flutterby bush? Perhaps we ought to avoid the subject?" Everyone flushed at my biting tone, and Sirius bit his lip.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to bring it up—"

"Well, for the record, I think that Remus is quite capable of dealing with the loss by himself. And if he doesn't want to talk about it, of course we shouldn't, but avoiding the subject of death altogether would rather tip him off that we're treating him specially, don't you agree?"

My comrades nodded, but I got the feeling that they were only doing it to appease me; it was probably safe to assume that we would still avoid the topics of death and Great relatives. And the pitying expressions that had risen on their faces when the Marauders realized what they'd said by no means faded.

I hated being pitied. It was almost as bad as having people lie to you for your own good. I mean, when is it ever for _your_ good?

But now was not the time to ponder such things: my friends were looking worried at the fact that I was now silent, so I shrugged and tried to think of something else to say.

"I know that I wouldn't want to be treated like something was wrong with me. Especially since I'd rather forget it altogether. Personally."

I'd thought my friends were red before, but now their blushes deepened. Sirius' eyes locked onto my neck as I touched the sapphire necklace hidden beneath my robes. As much as I wanted to deny it, I liked the fact that he alone knew how I was coping with the loss of my great aunt. Who needs tears when you can sweat? I'd been focusing on my homework and on exercise for the past week: running and Quidditch, mostly.

The four of them had all just opened their mouths, presumably to apologize profusely, when Professor McGonagall arrived on the scene. She almost appeared to be taking the loss of Diane Pemberly much harder than me. This fact probably made me look cold and heartless to the remainder of the Hogwarts population, but those who knew me knew that I was only acting tough and harsh to hide the fact that my insides still burned and my eyes watered whenever I thought of Di.

"Miss Gaunt, I've been asked to tell you... that your great aunt's funeral will be held this coming Sunday. As you requested, you will be permitted to attend it. I myself will be going, and as such I will escort you there, and bring both you and your brother back to Hogwarts. Professor Dumbledore also said that you may bring any one of your friends to keep you company, though he reminds you that it is optional," she said, almost completely in one breath and all in a grave, empty tone. "You and your friend, if you choose to bring one, should meet me in my office at exactly eleven o'clock Sunday morning, on the dot." She gave me a consoling look, shot my companions approving nods, bid us all farewell and continued down the aisle to reach the staff table.

I sighed. When I died, I made a mental note to demand that no one make a big deal out of it. Cry if you like, take days off, but I'll be damned if I have people freaking out over my relatives. Honestly, all the pity was pissing me off.

And, hey, a funeral. Something to look forward to. (Aw, sarcasm!) It took me a few minutes to realize that my friends were staring at me.

"So, who wants to go to funeral this Sunday?" I asked halfheartedly. I wasn't at all surprised when no raised their hand.


	19. Of Love and Of Sorrow

**((A/N: Mwahaha!! Just kidding. But seriously. Here's Chapter 19! Wow, it's getting rather long. Er, anyways, enjoy it! And don't forget to Review!! I thrive on reviews!!! :D))**

**((Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter....))**

Lily scowled at me over her shoulder early Saturday morning, looking rather unhappy with my choice of words. "I don't think I'm 'gorgeous,' Ar; I think this homemade sweater is ridiculous, and my skirt is much to long to be attractive. Do you think I should wear long socks?"

"I don't get it, Lils," I said with a frown, my eyes still half closed sleepily while I sat cross-legged on the end of my bed. Lily had woken me up way earlier than I would have liked to help her pick out an outfit for her date. "Remind me why you're trying to make yourself look ugly?"

She glared at me. "I explained it to you a billion times already! It's a test!"

"Right, right," I muttered, wishing that my face were buried in my pillow and I were still dreaming about playing Quidditch with Snuffles. "And how does this test work again?"

"Well, obviously, I'm going to dress in relatively unattractive clothes to see how James reacts! I'll see if he tells me the truth or if he lies to my face and tells me I'm pretty."

"And if he tells you the truth, he's not the one?" I asked, leaning against my bedpost for support. I guess I shouldn't have stayed up last night telling Snuffles about my great aunt...

"No, if he tells me I'm pretty, he's not the one."

"Okay, now I'm lost," I admitted. "Did you explain this while I was asleep?"

She sighed and joined me on the bed. "If he loves me, he won't let me wear ugly clothes in public. And truth is important in a relationship. So he has to tell me the truth about the clothes."

"But... Lils, that's stupid." Her look got darker. "I mean, there are so many things that could go wrong with that," I hurried before she could bite my head off. "He could just be telling you what you want to hear, or at least what he thinks you want to hear; or he might not see your clothes at all, and tell you you're pretty because he knows that you are. Or—"

"You know what, you're not helping," Lily growled. "And this'll work, just trust me. I know you think I'm being stupid, but I just know this will work. Now, long socks, or no?"

I sighed and shook my head at her. "Just wear the damned socks, you tosser."

By eight o'clock, Lily and I were dressed and ready to go to breakfast.

"I can't believe you're really going to wear that..." I mumbled as we headed down the stairs to the common room, almost embarrassed to be seen with her. I'd thought her clothes were... _interesting_ before, but now, I could hardly look at her without either wincing or giggling. She was wearing sneakers and bright pink socks that went up to her knees, but you couldn't tell because she was also wearing a plain brown skirt that cut off mid-calf. A ratty, bright pink t-shirt was mostly hidden by a deep green sweater that her mum had sent her two years ago and which now just barely fit over her head. Over it all, she had her plain black winter cloak. Her hair was pulled back, in exactly the fashion that McGonagall wore her hair.

Lily just smiled. "It's—"

"I know, I know, but... you can't tell me you're not in the least embarrassed."

"Of course I am! But if this helps me figure out if James truly loves me, it'll be worth it. And it'll work, I'm sure of it."

I sighed again, feeling exceedingly... plain next to Lily's eccentric attire. I was wearing my denim jeans, my navy sweater (store-made; my mum hated knitting, and there was nothing like the way Muggles knitted anyways), and my same-old trainers. I had my jacket and my own winter cloak hidden in my purse (magically adjusted to hold all sorts of junk). I still had no idea how she'd come to the conclusion that this "test" of hers was going to clear anything up. More than likely, it would just destroy everything. We reached the common room, where many people stared at Lily's odd selection.

"Staring is impolite," I growled, glaring at them using Lily's Look, since she was far more concern with James at the moment. The spectators anxiously scurried out of the portrait hole, though some just went back to what they'd been doing. Mission accomplished, I turned back to the tragedy in process.

"Lily-flower!" James crowed happily, bounding over and letting Sirius, Remus, and Peter follow him with wide eyes. Sirius looked at me for an explanation, but I just shook my head. And kept shaking it in hope that James would notice and not tell Lily that she looked pretty in those clothes. If Lily wanted to hear that she looked horrible, Merlin help us all, she would! "Lily-kins, you're looking beau—uh, Ar, what are you doing?"

I fought the urge to punch him and shrugged. "I was, uh, trying to forget... about my homework?" I finished lamely. Sirius gave me a skeptical look, but James seemed to accept the answer. At least, he turned back to Lily with a big smile.

"You're looking beautiful!" James completed, and then looked at me in concern when I hit myself in the forehead with my palm. Sirius just watched me with one eyebrow raised. Lily, meanwhile, went almost instantly from happy to confused.

"You liar!" she snapped, swatting his arm away as he tried to take her hand. "You can't possibly expect me to believe that! Look at me! I'm wearing a bloody circus tent, this pink clashes horribly with my hair, and my mum's a terrible knitter!" I saw James' eyes dart downward and realized that what I'd said to Lily before was completely true: he didn't see Lily for what she was wearing; he saw Lily for _Lily_. His brow furrowed, and I could tell he was trying to think of a way to stop Lily from ranting at him. But there wasn't any way. Lily was on a roll as she turned red and continued to yell about how hideous she was.

James, however, was clearly more determined than I was. Lily looked just about as surprised as Sirius and I were when James calmly put his hands on her shoulders, looked her in the eyes, and smiled.

"Wh-why are you smiling?" Lily growled. "I'm bloody serious! I—"

"Lily, I can honestly say that to me, you are the most gorgeous woman in the world, no matter what you're wearing. Even if that sweater does look horrible and those socks and that t-shirt do clash with your hair."

Throw in a romantic breeze, some rain, and give James an umbrella, and the couple would have looked at home in one of those classic romance movies that no one watches anymore, I thought. The only thing that made me positive that he wasn't lying, and that seemed to completely throw Lily of her guard, was the goofy smile that never left his face. If they kissed, it would be perfect.

Instead, Lily pushed his hands off her shoulders. "I'm going to change..." she muttered, leaving me alone with the guys. As soon as she vanished up the staircase, the grin fell off James' face and Sirius burst out laughing.

"What the bloody hell was that about?" James asked me. I shrugged again.

"I dunno, something about a test. Don't worry, though, I think you passed." And if he didn't, I was going to have to have a little chat with her.

"Test?" Sirius repeated. "I've never seen a girl give a guy a test like that before."

"Yeah, well, you know Lily's a little weird. And," I smiled, "I have to say that that was probably the most beautiful thing I've ever heard you say, James."

"Really? Not too sappy?"

Sirius gagged. "Was for me. As long as my future wife doesn't expect me to say that sort of stuff." Peter laughed and nodded, but Remus rolled his eyes.

"I bet he uses it on his next victim," he commented; James sniggered.

"As if they'd believe him."

"Lily believed you," Sirius argued.

"Yeah, but I meant it," James retorted. "That made me believable."

"You're all a bunch of morons," I deadpanned. The four boys glared at me. "So, Remus, how did it go with your great-grandmother?"

Remus looked confused for a second before a spark of realization lit his features. "Oh, er, yeah, she's—erm—she's getting better."

Now it was my turn to be confused. "But... I thought she was on her deathbed?" Peter, Sirius, and James were looking between Remus and I with the deer-in-the-headlights look.

"Oh!" Remus gasped, glaring at his friends, "right, right, I thought you meant my... _other _great-grandmother! You know, the one who's... still alive..."

"Wait a second," I said, putting my hand up. Now I was extremely confused. "How many great-grandmothers to you have?"

"Well, I've got one who's still alive, see, my mum's dad's mum; the other ones are all dead... including the one I went to visit on her deathbed this week. And the other one, er, she hopefully won't be dying any time soon, but if I'm gone again, you know where I am." He folded his arms and continued to glare at the other Marauders.

"Oh, that makes sense," I replied, smiling; but it didn't. Now that I thought about it, I was pretty sure that he was lying, because he seemed to have a few too many great-grandmothers. No, my math was probably off. That was it. "Ah, there's Lily."

Indeed, Lily had re-arrived, looking much better in a newer and better green sweater and a pair of jeans, with her hair down around her shoulders. She still looked half-shocked that James had said something so sweet to her—and actually meant it. I still wished they'd kissed. But there was time for that later, I supposed, after they were officially dating.

"Lily-kins! You look beautiful!" James said again, the smile instantly reappearing on his face. Lily blushed.

"All right, all right," Peter whined, "can we please go get some breakfast?"

"Preferably _before_ we all hurl," Sirius added, ushering the couple towards the door. James and Lily rolled their eyes and surrendered.

"You know, you two are adorable together," I told the two (though I received a scowl from Lily as a reward). "James, I hope that I can find someone as _nice_ and _gentlemanly_ as you are." I looked pointedly as Sirius and Peter. Sirius and Remus snorted.

"James? Gentlemanly?" Remus asked skeptically. I glared at him and gestured towards the boy in question, currently holding Lily's hand and leading her courteously down the corridor. "Well... you may have a point."

"He's only, er, 'gentlemanly,'" Sirius cut in, using the air quotes to frame my diction, "because he loves her."

"Exactly. Now I know that if I ever find the right guy, he'll be gentlemanly because he loves me."

Sirius stared at me. "That's stupid. James is... well, to be honest, he's weird. An oddball. A bit loopy. Not the typical man. As I've said before, _I'm_ average."

"And according to those you've dated, you've been a right gentlemen to all of them," I countered.

"Well, yes, because I _didn't_ love them."

"You were nice to them because you didn't love them?" I repeated. What the hell was with everyone's mixed up common sense today? First Lily and her crazy "test," and now Sirius' being a nice guy to the girls he didn't love. "So then, would you be absolutely horrible to the girl you_ did_ love?" I asked. For some reason, my heart seemed to squeeze while I waited for his answer. If he said yes, could that mean that he might have a small crush on me back? You know, since that's all it was... stupid bloody hormones.

"I dunno," Sirius answered with a shrug. I resisted the urge to hit him and tried to concentrate on making my heart resume its normal pace. I noticed that he was staring at me again.

Breakfast passed in a painfully normal, uneventful way. When James and Lily had finished their breakfast, they bid us farewell and went off on their date. Not long after that, Remus strode off to find his date; Peter headed off to do his homework; and Sirius and I were left alone. Well, sort of; the Great Hall was public, after all. Sirius and I finished breakfast and traced James' and Lily's path.

"So what's the plan?" Sirius asked me as we went through the front door into the frigid end-of-November air. I scowled at the frost that covered the ground.

"I thought you were coming up with the plan?" I retorted as I shivered. "You said something about the Shrieking Shack, right?"

"Well, yes, but if you're cold—"

"I'm fine! Bloody hell, I don't need you to baby me! If you wanna go to the Shack, let's go. Then we can go get something to drink and warm up or something." He scowled at me, but agreed; so we walked down Main Street, glad to see no one we knew, following the path that led up to the Shrieking Shack. We had just spotted the thing when... it started snowing. Sirius snorted.

"Let's just skip this," he insisted, ignoring my glaring. "It's freezing out here; we should just—"

"It's not that cold," I growled obstinately.

"It is that cold!" he snapped, shooting me a venomous look. "If it wasn't that cold, you wouldn't be shivering! Why are you always so stubborn? It's cold outside, so you decide you may as well go sit outside until you catch a cold! If you'd just go inside, maybe you wouldn't get sick, hm?"

"You know, I haven't gotten a cold yet, so I think until then I'll be fine. Don't know why you're so worried about it anyways. I never said you had to go with me, did I?"

"Not out loud, but we both know that you're glad I'm here." He huffed exasperatedly for a few seconds, but he didn't argue anymore. Instead, he said tentatively, "So, what do you think is haunting this stupid shack anyways?"

"Uh, ghosts?" I told him, glaring at his stupidity. "What else would be haunting it?"

"Ah, yeah. That makes sense." He didn't elaborate. I rolled my eyes at him. "So... what's your favorite color?" he asked suddenly.

I stared at him. "What's with the random questions?" He just shrugged and looked at me expectantly. "You're a tosser, just so you know that. I suppose I'd have to say silver. Or blue."

"Why silver?" he asked me, ignoring my halfhearted "or blue." I looked at him suspiciously.

"What do you mean, 'why silver?' You're going to find a way to use this against me, huh?"

He rolled his eyes. "_No_! I was just wondering. My favorite color is blue, because it's calming and it reminds me of a clear day. And because it—" he cut himself off suddenly, looking confused. I waited for him to continue, but he just seemed to get more baffled as we continued towards the Shack. Finally, I gave up on it.

"I like silver because it reminds me a rainy day, and because silver is way better than gold. Gold is so... showy. Silver's just better."

"So why do you like silver better than blue?" he asked, seeming relieved that I'd let him off the hook. He looked over at me, and I realized, or rather, remembered that his eyes were stormy gray, almost silvery.

"I don't!" I cried. Then I blushed and bit my lip. "I mean, you're right, blue's so much better! In fact, I don't like silver!"

"But you just said that silver was your favorite."

"I lied! Is that so hard to believe? Just—you know what, colors are stupid! Let's talk about something else."

He shrugged again. I could feel my face getting gradually redder. I felt so awkward. It was like... first date awkward, except that we definitely weren't on a date. I didn't know what to say, and I kept wondering how I looked. This was probably the most awkward I'd felt since I came to Hogwarts, which is sad, really. It wasn't supposed to be this way! I wasn't supposed to feel this way about him!

By now, we'd arrived at the rickety white fence of the Shack. As expected, it was abandoned: there wasn't a soul in sight, dead or alive. I sighed and looked at the boarded windows and doors.

"The Shack looks so... new," I thought out loud, more for something to say than because I really cared.

"Well, it was only built the year before we got here."

"Why do you think it's so haunted? I mean, usually old buildings are haunted, but this one's only seven years old, and it's the most haunted building in Britain."

"I dunno, why the hell are you asking me?" Sirius growled, digging his toes into the frosted grass and looking down. Rather suspiciously, I might add. I got the feeling that Sirius knew quite a lot about the Shrieking Shack; I was just about to pressure him for an answer when he changed the subject. "Is it all right if I ask you something... personal?"

I stared at him in confusion. He glanced up at me nervously, and then glared back down at his feet. "Something personal?" I repeated disbelievingly. The conversation seemed to be heading downhill. Or perhaps it was actually going uphill. A billion possible questions flitted through my mind. "That depends on what it is. You can ask all you want, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'll answer."

"That's fine." He looked up at me again, and this time he didn't look back down. "I'd rather you didn't answer than you lie. So..." he took a deep breath; his face was turning a little pink. "Do you like me?"

I gaped at him, hoping that the shock didn't show on my face. It definitely wasn't what I'd expected. Sirius' complexion gradually darkened to scarlet, but he didn't look away; he kept his eyes locked on mine. "Er, well, sure I like you," I said tentatively, unsure of what exactly he expected me to say. "I mean, we're friends, aren't we?"

He rolled his eyes. "You know what I meant. Do you _like_ me?"

I bit my lip and turned to scowl at the Shrieking Shack. If Sirius was hoping for something specific, he wasn't giving me any clues. So I settled for a neutral response. "What makes you think so?" Okay, maybe it didn't sound quite so neutral out loud as it did in my head. Sirius, however, didn't look disappointed or insulted; I took this as a good sign.

"I heard you telling Sn-omeone how you liked someone you shouldn't, and how you were jealous of his girlfriend, and something about Quidditch; you didn't mention any names, but I kind of put it together. Unless there's someone else you think is a dickhead, had a tart of a girlfriend, and plays Quidditch?"

Something about Sirius' explanation struck me as odd, but I couldn't figure out what it was. "Who was I telling?" I asked suspiciously; and then I realized whom I'd told, the _only_ person I'd told. Sirius had just opened his mouth, probably to lie to me, when I gasped and pointed at him a bit stupidly. "You're Snuffles!" I exclaimed.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" he asked me in an exasperated tone, but it was clear that I'd struck something. His red face had paled slightly.

"You're an animagus!" I accused, poking his chest with the finger I'd been pointing at him with. "You! You're Snuffles!"

"Who the hell's Snuffles?" Sirius asked rather nonchalantly, pushing my finger away.

"The dog!" I cried, waving my arms around like a madwoman. Anger was welling inside of me, and it vaguely reminded me of our last venture to Hogsmeade. This time, however, I was thankfully not quite so furious with him. Though of course finding out that the dog that you've been telling secrets to is really your archenemy of sorts does tend to make you a bit upset. "Snuffles is the dog! The big black dog that's always trying to get me in out of the cold! And he has shaggy black fur that reminds me of your hair! And he has those silver eyes that just stare at me while I basically spill all my troubles out because he's the only one I trust not to tell anyone, and _it was you all along_!" I'd taken hold of his cloak and was shaking him roughly as he looked at me, clearly thoroughly alarmed. "How could you just let me sit there and spill my guts out to you? You're such a jerk!"

"Okay, okay!" he muttered, throwing his hands up to protect himself. "I'm sorry; could you please not yell..." I growled and pushed him away from me. He sighed and straightened his cloak. "You're right. I am Snuffles. By the way, that is the stupidest name I've ever heard. Sorry," he continued quickly while I glared at him. "I'm the dog, yes, I'm an Animagus. But I'm not exactly legal, and I'd really appreciate it if you kept it quiet. I'm sorry I just sat there and let you talk, but you have to admit that it's easier to talk to a dog than to me, right?" He looked at me expectantly, so I slowly nodded, still disgruntled by the fact that I'd been talking to him about things like how much I missed Aunt Di without knowing it was him. "If it helps at all, I don't plan on telling anyone anything you said, promise."

He looked so sincere and apologetic that I almost felt guilty for yelling at him. Almost. Instead, I shrugged, folded my arms over my chest, and muttered, "Whatever."

"Good. Since that's out of the way—"

"If you're an Animagus, I bet James, Remus, and Peter are too, huh?" Sirius groaned.

"Why the hell do we—"

"They'd have to be, because becoming an Animagus is extremely difficult! I've looked into it, and there's no way that I can do it without help; so, using logic and common sense, you can't either!"

"I'm plenty smart enough! I—"

"Not to mention, they're your best friends, so it only makes sense. What do they transform into? Come on, Sirius, tell me?"

"It's none of your business! In fact, forget about it, all of it! You never realized I was Snuffles, you hear?"

"Sirius!" I whined as he started walking back down the path, his arms crossed stubbornly. "Tell me, _please_?" I tried that really annoying flirting where you blink and flutter your eyelashes and stuff seductively, but I must have done it wrong, because he just scowled at me. "I promise I won't tell anyone! You can even hex me if I do! Please, Sirius?"

"Like I said, I'm not—" Suddenly, he grabbed my arm and made a shushing motion. He pointed between the trees at an approaching figure, a hateful look on his face. "Snivellus," he hissed. I rolled my eyes.

"Severus."

"Snivellus," he corrected. "Talk about something else."

I sighed. "All right, all right. Let's see... I heard the Holyhead Harpies are going to win the Quidditch World Cup this year."

Sirius snorted. "As if. They haven't been good since the end of the fifties. It's going to be the Cannons, for sure."

"If the Harpies suck, then the Cannons are a disaster!" I argued. "They haven't been good since _before _the fifties. At least my team's won in the past ten years."

"Pfft," Sirius replied, turning his attention to Snape, who was strolling along up the path as if he owned it. "Well, look who it is!" he exclaimed, as though he were shocked to see greasy-haired Severus Snape on the path to the Shrieking Shack. Actually, I was kind of shocked to see the greasy-haired kid on the path to the Shrieking Shack. We hadn't seen anybody else since we'd gotten off Main Street. After all, it was cold, and the place _was_ haunted. So what was Snape doing out here?

"Shut up, Black," Snape snapped. All the while, the distance between us was closing, and nerves were building in my stomach in anticipation of conflict.

"Hello, Severus," I said kindly. He was a friend of my brother, and a childhood friend of Lily. As slimy and kind of annoying as he was, I didn't really have a reason to hate him. Clearly, it was another story altogether between Sirius and Snape.

"Gaunt," he said curtly, though not essentially rudely. I was perfectly satisfied by the response, but Sirius seemed affronted.

"That's not the way you talk to a lady," he growled, and I could tell that his hand was tensed around his wand. Even more shockingly, he'd just called me a lady. I never thought the day would come!

"What would you know about talking to a lady, Black?"

"A hell of a lot more than you would!" Sirius snapped, pulling out his wand and pointing it at Snape's face.

"What are you—"

"All right, you two!" I yelled, lowering Sirius' wand for him and shooting a warning glare at Snape as he went for his own wand. I positioned myself between the two, though if came down to it either would probably be willing to curse me to get to the other. "I don't care if you two hex each other, but you're going to have to do it when I'm not around. Sirius, come on, you were complaining about the cold and the snow; let's go get something to drink!"

Sirius grumbled furiously, still glowering hatefully at Snape; but he allowed me to take his hand and drag him down the path. Before we even reached him, Snape whirled around, black robes whipping out behind him, and marched away. When he was out of earshot, I sighed.

"You moron! Don't pick a fight with him just because you think he's lower than you!"

"I don't think he's lower than me!" Sirius argued, his sour look fading only slightly. "I _know_ he's lower than me! He's greasy-haired, he's biased, and he's obsessed with the Dark Arts! Not to mention he's cowardly, he's an idiot, he—"

"All right! I get it; you hate him. Where should we go?" I said, attempting to change the subject subtly. Sirius rolled his eyes at me.

"I dunno. The Three Broomsticks? The Hog's Head? Madame Puddifoot's?" he offered sarcastically.

"Well, if we still don't want to be seen, the Hog's Head would probably be the better choice. But then again, Snape's probably going to go tell people he saw us up here alone, so it might not really matter. What do you think?"

"I think the Hog's Head is closer and it's freezing. We can grab a drink and revert back to our _original_ subject."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "You mean... our favorite colors?" I asked with a small sardonic grin. He scowled at me. "Sirius, when have I ever given you a sign that I liked you like that?"

"You haven't," he answered honestly, "until now."

"Huh?" I asked stupidly, looking at him in bewilderment. He held up our hands with a smirk. I blanched. I hadn't even noticed that I hadn't released his hand yet, but now I did with a disgusted look. "Don't be ridiculous! I was trying to keep you under control! I wasn't—"

"Don't worry, Artemis," Sirius interrupted, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him. "I won't tell anyone. Just like I didn't tell anyone how you kissed me. See, I can keep a secret."

He was taunting me! It was infuriating!

"You know," I growled, pushing his arm off me, "I don't _have_ to like you; you should feel lucky I do. And by the way, all this is is a little crush. Miniscule. Teeny, tiny, baby crush. Keep pushing my buttons, and I'll hate you again. Of course, that's probably your goal, huh?"

"That's stupid. I don't want you to hate me," he told me. He paused, looking at me curiously, again turning rather pink. "I... like you too. Teeny, tiny, baby crush," he copied. I gaped at him, aware that my face was getting more color back than it had had before.

"This isn't exactly how I thought this trip would go..." I muttered as we entered the Hog's Head.

"Really?" Sirius asked sardonically. "How did you think it would go? Two butterbeers, please," he ordered the barman.

"Well, to be honest, I thought we would just hang out. You know, like normal seventh year students. But apparently, we aren't normal."

"Well of course we aren't normal!" Sirius exclaimed, snatching the proffered butterbeers from the barman and leading the way to an empty table (which, frankly, nearly every table was). "We're much too special and extraordinary to be normal!"

"I thought you were 'average?' You and Lily spent all that time arguing over it."

"I lied," Sirius replied simply, handing me my drink and taking a seat. "Come on, Artemis, I thought we knew each other!"

"Ha," I told him, folding my arms and scowling at him. "Right."

"Right. So what are going to do about this?" he asked me, taking a gulp of his drink.

"About what?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "About us liking each other, dumbass."

I scowled at him. "That makes me want to date you," I said sarcastically. He smirked.

"Well, if that's what you want."

I sighed. Was that what I wanted? "Is that what you want?" I asked, trying desperately to avoid answering the question.

"Is that what you want?" he shot back. Was that what I wanted? I asked myself again. Yes, I believed that it was. But I didn't want to be the one to say it. I bit my lip and scowled at him.

"How about this?" I said at last, just as Sirius seemed to be getting antsy and impatient. "We'll mutually agree that we both want to start dating. Mutually..."

He shrugged. "Okay."

"But not like hardcore dating," I added nervously. "No snogging until after the third date, no groping and/or touching until the sixth date, absolutely no shagging until we both feel ready, and no putting me before your friends. I hate that; what's that stupid saying? 'Bro's before ho's?' They've got it completely right. We can't go out too often either, because of homework and exams; if my grades start slipping, my dad will hex me, and it certainly won't be pretty. I'd typically say no holding hands until after the first date, but since you clearly aren't liking any of my rules, I'm going to say you can choose that." He scowled at me and I smiled. "Sorry. I just thought we ought to lay down the rules _before_ we start out; otherwise we'll get in a fight about something stupid when I won't let you kiss me and it'll be over before it even begins." I scowled at his very unsatisfied look. He opened his mouth and I sensed a tirade coming on; I sighed and folded my arms across my chest, leaning back into my chair. "Okay, lay it on me."

He smirked at me. "Fine then. These rules? They're bollocks. There's always snogging on the first date, makeout sessions start any time after that, the shagging and friends bit I get, sorta, and we can go out as often as we want. Besides, you're laying down rules, but you know how Marauders are with rules. The more we dislike them, the more likely we are to break them. And right now, I really don't like them. If this relationship, or whatever the hell you want to call it, is built on those rules, it won't last long." He glared at my look of ire. "I'm bloody serious, Artemis. If you won't let me snog you until the third date, we aren't going to survive the week."

"Huh," I said wryly. "I think you're right." He gaped at me in shock, a look that quickly turned to suspicion. For good reason. "After all, first and second dates, at least to me, are when you should get to know each other's personalities, figure out each other's substance. But you don't have substance. I suppose what you see is what you get."

"Well, at least I won't mislead you then. And by the by, that sounds like the most boring idea of a date I've ever heard. Who the hell wants to sit around and 'get to know each other' for an hour or two?"

"James and Lily." I glared at him furiously. I certainly was _not_ boring! So maybe I didn't want to just jump into a physical relationship. Did that really make me boring?

"Right, well, they're both weird. We aren't at all like them; and I hope you don't expect me to tell you you're beautiful no matter what you're wearing, because like I said earlier, I won't."

I flushed in anger and perhaps embarrassment. What the hell was wrong with him? "You know, as physically attractive as you may be, you're still the biggest arse I've ever met!" I snapped

"And you're still queen of bitches, even if you are quite beautiful and sexy!" he retorted.

"This clearly isn't going to work! Maybe we should just forget this ever happened and go back to the school!"

"Fine by me! Let's get the hell out of here," he growled, standing up and marching for the door without a backward glance.

I glared after him heatedly, but the cold feeling of loneliness in my stomach contrasted with the anger. _Well, that went well_, I thought furiously.

Bloody hell. I'd done it again.

***~~~***

Sirius drew his cloak tight around him as he stomped outside into the chill November snowstorm, not looking back to see if Artemis was following him.

Why was his blood boiling? Why did he suddenly feel so angry? He'd just had to piss her off, of course. Rejecting all her little rules, in retrospect, was perhaps not a good choice. Why couldn't he just have suggested a compromise? Or just dealt with her little rules? Of course he was just playing with her emotions. He didn't really like her, or at least not in the way she believed that he did. But then, why did he feel so angry about the little spat that they'd just had? Or about the fact that she didn't think they would work together? Or the fact that she still thought he was nothing but an arse? And why did he feel like his heart had just been ripped from his chest, ground to bits, then frozen and replaced in its original position? He couldn't be in love with Artemis Gaunt.

But denying it was useless. Whether this was true love or just, as Artemis had put it, a 'baby crush,' he couldn't deny that he liked her. The pain at her rejection made that much clear.

Sirius sighed as he reached the castle gates, finally looking back to see if she was there. Yes, she was; she was far in the distance, definitely out of earshot, but she was there. Even so far away, he could still see her red face, heated by her fury.

Fuck, Sirius thought to himself. He'd screwed up now. How was he going to fix this? Sirius had no bloody idea. He'd apologized to plenty of girls in his six and a half years at Hogwarts, but Artemis was no normal girl. She'd probably just get even more irate if he bought her flowers and chocolate. Well, perhaps not the flowers...

Then suddenly, he knew what he could do. It wouldn't solve everything, definitely not, and she might not even want him to do it; but it was the best thing he could think of. After all, she'd complained about it to Snuffles multiple times the night before. She didn't want to attend her Great Aunt's funeral alone, with only her family. And as depressing and sobering as a funeral might be (unquestionably not date material) Sirius was willing to go with her if it helped her at all.


	20. Repairing What's Been Broken

**((A/N: Tada!!! Chapter 20! Hope you enjoy it, don't forget to review!!))**

**((Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling. If I were, I'd be rich! :D))**

I sighed as I looked at my shredded bed canopy. Such a good vent, they were; violence always helps when you're trying to calm yourself. Of course, that's not necessarily a good thing. But it was definitely better to maim my bed curtains than to maim Sirius. I'm sure my teachers would agree; well, most of them. Sighing once again, I took out my wand, muttering "_Reparo_" and watching the gashes mend together before me. That done, I set to repairing the shattered picture frames and mirrors one by one, grimacing each time I caught sight of my bloodied knuckles.

I'd lost control again, so contained by my fury that I began to destroy the entirety of the girls' seventh dormitory. There had been shredded bedding, clothing strewn everywhere, bottles of perfume and other makeup smashed against the wall, pictures hurtled across the room as my ire controlled me. Finally, once again, my own pain brought the anger to a close. As I'd punched the vanity mirror, fragments had flown everywhere, mostly embedding themselves in the hand that I put all of my strength behind.

Now everything was fixed; everything, that is, besides my cut-up and bruised hand. I examined it carefully for leftover shards of glass, but found none. I conjured some gauze and began to wrap my bleeding hand, wondering if anyone would notice the bandages. The cuts were shallow, most of them, and they wouldn't take long to heal. But the time that they did take would be fraught with questions about how I'd gotten them. Could I pull of another "I tripped" lie? After all, I wasn't an enormously clumsy person; would my friends and teachers believe me if I told them that I'd fallen _again_? Perhaps I could just tell them the truth: I'd been angry and frustrated, and I'd ended up punching the mirror and hurting myself.

_Oh, yes_! the voice cooed in an amused tone. _Tell them all about how you get so angry over such small things! Make them think that perhaps Artemis is a bit too unstable for school. Let them in, explain how a voice in your head feeds you its anger and leads you to self-harm. I'm sure that that is something that they'd _love_ to hear about._

I pursed my lips, staring into my own ice blue eyes. The voice was right, of course. I couldn't tell them the truth; they'd think that I was crazy. They'd probably send me to St. Mungo's for hearing the stupid voice in the first place. No, I couldn't, wouldn't tell them the truth.

But I definitely needed to think of something more creative than "I fell." I sat on my bed, brainstorming: I fell; I was attacked; I was rummaging in my trunk and cut myself on a broken vial.

This was ridiculous! I had to have something with sleeves long enough to hide my hands somewhat. Something besides my school robes. Maybe I could magically extend the sleeves. Then again, I might just end up setting myself on fire if I tried that. Grinding my teeth together, I started searching through my trunk. Nothing. Merlin, I was a failure. Silently, I pulled out my wand again, praying that I didn't light myself on fire.

In the end, my sleeves were only singed, but I was willing to overlook this fact because they now were widened and lengthened to cover my hands down to my knuckles. The bandaging was only barely visible, and if I kept my hands in my pockets, and moved fast when I had to reveal them, I knew I could get through this without letting the others know that I'd cut myself up. Again.

As if right on cue, Lily waltzed into the room, humming quietly and smiling to herself. I watched her with my eyebrows raised in amazement and amusement while she twirled happily, then froze as she caught sight of me and my smirk.

"Oh, er, Ar, what are you doing in here? I thought you would be in the library..."

"And yet, here I am. You look awfully chipper, Miss Evans; but wait, let me guess: it had _nothing_ to do with James," I said snarkily. Lily blushed darkly. "Come on, Lils, out with it! Did something happen? Or is this just going to be the normal Lily Evans from now on?"

Lily snorted. "Oh, please! The day me going around humming and dancing is normal, I beg you to hit me over the head with a shovel. Repeatedly."

"Note taken. So then what happened? Did he kiss you? Only _with_ your permission this time?"

"No."

"Was it his little surprise at lunch? Have you two finally decided to be a couple?"

"You know, Ar, you're completely killing my mood here."

I scowled at her. "Oh, alright! No more questions." Pouting, I collapsed once again onto my bed, belly down.

"You know," Lily said suddenly, "you'll never guess who asked me for advice in the common room just now."

I glanced at her. "Okay... was it that Alice girl in sixth year?" Lily shook her head. "Er, that frizzy-haired blonde in second year?" Lily shook her head again. "Um, Peter?"

"Closer."

"Remus?"

"No."

"Well it can't have been Sirius... was it—"

"Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Sirius Black asked me for advice, if you can believe it." I gaped at her.

"About what?" I finally coughed when she just continued to smile at me snobbishly. Her smirk grew wider.

"Girls."

"Girls?" I repeated. "Since when does he need help with... _girls_?"

Lily just smirked and shrugged. "Dunno. He asked me about girls and their rules." I could feel my face coloring, but I was powerless to stop it.

"R-rules?" I stuttered. Lily nodded.

"Yes. Girls and their rules for their boyfriends." She cocked her head at me, as if waiting for my response, but I couldn't think of anything; my mind seemed to have gone blank. So instead, she continued: "Apparently, he's thinking about asking a girl out, but she has a lot of rules that he doesn't know if he can keep. Rules about snogging and stuff."

"I see," I said quietly, sure that my face had to be maroon by now. Lily didn't look worried, however, so I assumed that it wasn't.

"Yes. He asked me what I thought he should do about the girl. He said that he thought he might actually like her more than any other girl he'd ever dated, but he wasn't sure because he didn't know her as well. He really wants to go out with her, but as I said, he feels her rules are a bit... strict."

"And... what did you tell him?" I asked uncertainly.

"I told him that this girl probably has these rules for a reason: perhaps she's afraid that he'll hurt her if she lets him get to close. He should ask her out, and he should make an effort to keep as many of her rules intact as he can; but if he really can't deal with them, he should compromise with her. Of course, this is assuming that he gets the date in the first place; seeing as he wouldn't tell me who the girl was, I can't say for sure if my advice will be of any use at all." She was peering at me intently, as if she were attempting to look into my soul. I scowled at her.

"I think I know. But I'm not going to tell you," I told her before she could ask. She pouted. And then she smirked.

"It's you, isn't it?"

I couldn't stop the indignant snort. Even though it was true, I guess I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that Sirius might actually have a little crush on me too. However, admitting to Lily that I might sort of like Sirius, and he possibly could like me back, didn't seem very... me. "Wh-what makes you say that?" I asked her, painfully aware that my face was on fire.

"A few things. One: You're as red as a tomato; it's not very inconspicuous. Two: He was stuttering madly and looking around like he was afraid you'd walk in and overhear us. And three: You two have been giving off signs since... well, at least since the beginning of the year, if not earlier. And don't give me any bollocks about me being loony or anything, because you can ask James and he'll agree with me."

"Well, that's because he's in love with you and would jump off a cliff if you asked him to. And I have _not_ been giving off any signs!" I sniffed haughtily and puffed out my cheeks.

"I see. And yet, you don't deny that you like him." She smirked at me, putting her hands on her hips.

I frowned at her. "I do. As a friend. Nothing more."

Lily burst out laughing. "I don't believe you! All that pressuring me to give James a chance, to stop lying about how I might like him, and here you are doing the same thing!"

"I do not—" I cut myself off, grinding my teeth. She was staring at me with the Look, conveying to me clearly that she knew I was lying to her. "Give me one sign that I've given that I like him," I told her with a scowl. "Give me one, and I'll admit it."

"Did you admit it just now?" I shot her own Look back at her. "Oh, all right, all right. That's way too simple anyways. In fact, I'll give you five. One: James told me that on the train ride here, you and him looked like you two were going to start snogging any minute. Two: Your antagonizing of each other at the beginning of this year, e.g. you transfiguring him into an asexual bald skunk, and him charming your dress robes invisible at Slughorn's party, were clearly just antics to get each other's attention. Three: I've seen the looks you two give each other when you think no one else is watching you. Four: When Sirius was dating April, _you_ were the one most upset about it, and _you_ were the reason they broke up, ultimately. And finally, five: James and I overheard Sev in the Three Broomsticks telling your brother that he'd seen you and Sirius up there, _alone_."

I gaped at her in horror at this latest revelation. Snape had told my brother. My brother would tell my mother. My mother would tell my father. My father would be irate.

I should have just let Sirius curse the little toerag. Would have solved everything, really. But no, I had to be all noble and get between the two. Well, see if I protected Snape next time.

Oh, and there was also the fact that, if Lily and James had heard Snape telling Apollo, odds were that others had heard him as well. By now, it was probably all over the school that Sirius and I had been together at Hogsmeade this morning.

Stupid toerag.

"All right, fine!" I said when I recovered from the realization that my secret was definitely out. "Fine, yes, I like him, _a little bit_. A _very_ little bit. And, yes, he may have admitted that he likes me, _a very little bit_. I may have laid down a few rules, he may have not liked them, and we _may_ have overreacted like we usually do. I mean, what do you want me to say? I'm not going to say that I love him. I'm not going to say that he's the one. And I'm not even going to say we're dating because we aren't. Now just... Gah!" I finished with a slight hint of hysteria; Lily smirked at me.

"That's what I thought. What sort of rules did you give him?"

"I dunno. No kissing until after the third date. No shagging. He couldn't... you know, _touch_ me in places until sixth date, which _I_ feel is reasonable, but he obviously didn't think so. I told him I couldn't let my grades slip either. And then he told me my rules were bollocks, I told him he had no substance, then called him an arse, and then he told me I was the queen of all bitches, I told him we clearly weren't meant to be together, and he said fine and we both left. And it definitely wasn't a date! See, we were just going to hang out because you and James and Remus all had dates and Peter had to do homework. And then we went up to the Shack and things just got... well, strange, I suppose, would cover it." I bit my lip.

"Did he ask you out?"

I glared at her. Lily's questions were always impossible to _not_ answer, because if you didn't you'd look guilty of whatever it was she was accusing you of. This question was no different. Slowly, I half nodded. "Well, sort of; I mean, it started out more sarcastic, and then he just said, 'if that's what you want,' and neither of us really gave a straight answer, so... I don't know! Then we both got mad and stormed out. To be completely honest, I don't know what the hell I want anymore. I'm so bloody confused!"

Lily sighed and sat down next to me on my bed. "I feel the same way about James. Except, well, we don't fight nearly as often as you and Sirius do anymore. But it feels like diving into the Black Lake: You don't know what the bloody hell's in there, you'll just be happy to make it out alive."

I snorted. "I'll be lucky to make it out alive. Why do boys have to be so—" I paused and gestured at the room wildly, though of course the room had nothing to do with boys. Perhaps what I was gesturing to was the sky, or maybe it was the air, or maybe I was trying to illustrate the maddening quality that all men had. Regardless, I groaned and fell back into my comforter, wishing that life wasn't so bloody complicated.

***~~~***

Dinner that evening was... well, strange. The Marauders, Lily, and I spent the entire meal almost in silence, which was odd enough without the fact that Lily and James kept giving each other adoring looks. Of course, they would instantly look away from each other and right to Sirius and I with worried looks. Sirius, meanwhile, was staring at me, looking very much like he wanted to say something but didn't quite know how to phrase it. Remus and Peter kept exchanging baffled looks, obviously not having been told anything. And I just sat and glared at my dinner.

I thought about bringing up some random topic, if only to reduce the awkwardness of it. But no; I couldn't think of anything but my frustration at men, and seeing how the majority of the conversers would be men, it would probably only be more awkward. So I remained silent, listening to the chatter of the other Hogwarts students. At last, Lily finished her meal, and I pushed my nearly untouched plate away.

"So, Ar," James said as I went to stand up. I froze and looked at him. "Did you ever find anyone to go to your aunt's funeral with you?"

I frowned at him, wondering what the bloody hell he was on about. "Er, no. None of you lot want to go, and I'm not just going to go up to some stranger and say 'Hey, you want to go to my great aunt's funeral with me?' now can I?"

"Actually, you could," Remus told me, "but it might be a little uncomfortable."

"Oh, shut it," I told him. "The offer still stands, though, if any of you feel up to it. It's just a little funeral. I promise I won't cry all over you."

"I'll go."

All of us turned to gape at a red-faced Sirius, who continued to stare at me stubbornly.

"Er, what?" I finally managed to stutter. He rolled his eyes at me.

"I'll go with you," he repeated. "As long as you really don't cry all over me."

"Okay... Anyone else?" I asked, looking at Lily desperately. If Sirius went with me... well, things would be awkward, to say the least. Come on, Lily, I thought, please!

"Well, I would go with you, but seeing how Sirius has just offered..." Lily trailed off with a thoughtful look. "Besides, maybe if Sirius goes with you, you two can _work out your differences_." She glanced toward me (very inconspicuously, I might add. You could tell because Remus and Peter grew even more confused) and then looked at Sirius with the exact same look.

"Yeah, but... Sirius doesn't really want to go, do you, Sirius?"

"Well neither do I," Lily told me bluntly. I scowled at her. "What? It's a bloody funeral, for the love of Merlin. No one wants to go to a funeral. Besides, I have an essay to write."

"I hate you," I told her bitterly. She grinned at me.

"I hate you too."

"Whatever," I snapped. "I'm going to bed early." And I stood up and walked away. Merlin, I thought viciously, why the bloody hell were they ganging up on me?

The voice in my head laughed; but I didn't find it funny.

***~~~***

The next morning, Sirius and I were at McGonagall's office and it was eleven o'clock exactly, just as she'd ordered. Sirius was tapping his foot impatiently as Professor McGonagall shakily handled her pot of Floo Powder. I had my arms folded across my chest, scowling at the wall. In case it wasn't obvious, I really didn't want to go at all. But my mother, not to mention my father, would beat me senseless (probably not literally...) if I didn't go. It wasn't that I didn't like my great aunt; I loved Di more than almost anyone else in my family, except maybe Apollo. It was because I really did hate the sentimentality of funerals. Weddings. Most places and events were people cry. Yuck.

Speaking of Apollo, he was standing to my left, in an identical position and with an identical scowl on his face. He too had brought along a friend, his girlfriend, to be exact. Her name was Weddy Bullwell, and unlike most Slytherins, Weddy was actually attractive enough to be called pretty. In fact, some might have called her beautiful, though certainly none from any house other than hers. She had long plaited black hair, fair paper white skin, and mean, cold green eyes. Currently, she had her right arm hooked with Apollo's left, and she was glaring at me with the glare she typically saved for her boyfriend's sister. Aka: me. She hated me, though I honestly have no idea why.

Finally, McGonagall was ready; Apollo went first, and then Weddy. I went next, feeling nauseous spinning in that whirl of green flames. I hated using the Floo Network. But it truly was faster, I thought wearily as I stumbled out of a completely different fireplace than the one I'd stepped into. Apollo and Weddy were waiting for me; Weddy glowered at me, but Apollo left her to steady me.

"Thanks," I told him.

"I need to talk to you," he muttered, waving Weddy back as she huffed. Yeah, definitely hated me. She was a Slytherin through and through, which was kind of ironic because I was the one related to him. Apollo took my hand and dragged me away from the fireplace; we'd come out in the entrance hall of what I assumed was the place where the funeral was being held. Apollo was leading me to a hallway, away from where everyone else was going. I saw Sirius emerge from the fireplace, looking around for me and making a confused face when he saw me being dragged away. Weddy said something to him, probably snippy, and I didn't get the chance to see if he said anything back.

"I think I know what this is about," I sighed as soon as we were alone. Apollo scowled at me, and I knew I was right. "This is about Sirius, right? Lily said Snape told you he saw us."

"He did. Now I have to ask you: are you dating Sirius Black?"

"No." He gave me a skeptical look. "I'm not dating Sirius. You can ask him if you like."

He glared at me. "If you're not dating him, why did he come with you?"

I snorted. "How should I know?" I lied. "He offered to come, I said okay. If you want to know his reason, you're going to have to ask him."

He snorted and smirked at me. "You know I know you're lying. There's something more to this. There's something more between you two." He went silent, just looking at me with his eyes narrowed, thoughtful. "You like him," he said finally, looking at me with disgust. I scowled.

"And you like Weddy. I know you want to threaten him or blackmail him or whatever to get him to stay away from me, but if you do that, you know I'll have to do the same to Weddy. We're both descendants of Slytherin, and you know I can't ever really suppress that."

He glared at me, looking like he was ready to strangle me. I just shrugged at him.

"Like I said, we aren't dating. Not at the moment, anyway."

"But you're hoping you will be soon?" he asked, still looking angry with me, but also looking very amused. I blushed. Sometimes, being twins sucked. Apollo sighed and folded his arms at my lack of answer. "Fine, I won't tell him to keep away. But—"

I groaned. "But" was never good, especially in the Wizarding world. "No 'but!' You know how much I hate 'but's! Can't you just, I dunno, follow him or something? Spy on us and make sure we don't go too far too fast? I mean, seriously, he's already gotta deal with me; I don't know if he can handle you too!"

Apollo smirked. "Oh, I'll have someone follow him. But I'm still going to talk to him. I don't want him turning my little sister into a slag."

I grimaced. "As if I'd let him. Please, Apollo, can't you just let it—"

"Either I talk to him, or I tell Mum and Dad. And you _know_ Dad won't be happy."

I scowled. "Oh, so now you're threatening _me_?" He just smiled. I finally sighed and rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine, do what you want. And by the way, you're only like a minute older than me! You can't go around calling me your little sister!"

He gave me a look that clearly said he didn't care, and then he led the way back into the hall. Professor McGonagall scolded us for wandering off, then told us that we would meet by the fireplace after the funeral. It was so contradictory that I almost argued with her; then I thought better of it and dragged Sirius away instead. Of course, the second I turned around, I nearly turned _back_ around to tell McGonagall I'd stay with her. It was preferable to spending time with what I came face to face with.

"Er..." I said stupidly. My father just glared down at me. My mother, meanwhile, cried, "Artemis! Oh, honey, I've missed you so much! It's okay, darling, you can cry now, Mummy's here!" as she pulled me into a stifling hug. I could hear Sirius snickering behind me. "Oh, and who is this?" my mother asked, obviously having noticed the laughter as well. She released me and looked Sirius up and down.

"Sirius Black," I introduced. "This is my mother, Lucretia, and my father, Marcus." My father barely spared a glance for him, presumably recognizing him as a notorious blood traitor. I glared at him; he was talking to Apollo and Weddy, occasionally shooting me venomous looks that matched Weddy's perfectly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Gaunt," Sirius said, holding out his hand to shake. My mother took it cautiously, as if she were afraid she would catch something from him. Yup, my family. I hated them. Most of the time. "I'm terribly sorry for your loss," he continued, bringing his hand back to his side as he reminded us why we were here. My mother's face fell, and for a second I thought she might break down. Instead, her smile returned.

"Thank you very much. It's very kind of you to attend this with my daughter. I'm sure Artemis is... heartbroken, even if she doesn't show it. She doesn't like to cry, you know. Even as a baby... but Diane was her favorite of my relatives. I remember when she used to play with dress up in all of Diane's old clothes! Those dresses were her favorite! She even tried on a few of Di's bras! Though of course she wasn't quite, er, developed yet."

I blushed. This conversation was quickly going downhill... for me. What the hell! I was five years old, for Merlin's sake! I didn't even know what bras were! "Mum!" I hissed, scowling at her while Sirius laughed.

"And Artemis and her cousins, Timothy and Zachary, they used to eat Di's pies; they made a game out of it. They ate as many pies as they could, and whoever ate the most would win. I remember Artemis coming home one day, holding her stomach and bawling because the boys had made her eat pies until she puked!"

I ground my teeth. My stomach hurt just thinking about all that pie. I guess I probably should have stopped the first time I'd puked, but those boys were just so damned cocky! "Mum, we should go in," I interrupted as she started on another story, something about me running around in nothing but a diaper in Diane's garden. Sirius was laughing so hard I was afraid maybe _he'd_ need a diaper. My mother looked around just in time for my father to take her hand and pull her towards the door. Unfortunately, the six of us found seats together. To my relief, however, I ended up between Sirius and Apollo, who sat next to Weddy, who sat next to my parents.

I wasn't at all surprised to see so many people at my Great Aunt Di's funeral. Di was a great person, loved by most, hated by those who practised Dark magic (like Voldemort). I listened as the speakers started up, talking about all the good times they'd had with Di, talking about all her wonderful qualities, all her funny quirks. They talked about her wonderful family, whom had also died in the Death Eaters' attack. They talked about her strong sense of right and wrong. They talked about her will to live.

Halfway through the service, I hardly noticed Sirius take my hand. A few minutes later, her leaned in towards me and whispered, "You said you weren't going to cry."

"I said I wasn't going to cry all over you, and I'm not," I whispered back, unnerved by how shaky my voice was. With a sigh on his part, and a severe tensing of muscles on mine, Sirius pulled me against him.

"You're so stupid," he told me quietly. I was vaguely aware of the voice in my head laughing manically, my brother's eyes on my back, and Sirius' heart beating against my ear; but I pushed all that away, closed my eyes, and listened to the people talk about my great aunt. And suddenly, I only hoped that my life would be as full as hers.

***~~~***

"You sure you're okay?" Sirius asked me for the hundredth time as we stood patiently in line to bid my great aunt a final goodbye.

"I'm fine," I insisted with a scowl. My tears had dried, my annoyance returned. "And you're getting really annoying, you know. It's perfectly natural to cry at funeral."

"Not for you." I glared at him. He grimaced. "Er, I mean, you _never_ cry. Usually. So, you know, it's just weird."

"You're a moron," I told him, folding my arms and scowling at my "older" brother, who was standing in front of me. "I'm not a bloody robot. I have feelings, you know."

Sirius sighed. "Yeah. I know."

This rather stumped me. All the sarcasm and witty insults we usually tried to through at each other, and now this? I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. In fact, we both remained silent until we finally reached my great aunt's coffin. I looked down at her, with her pale white skin and her eyes closed. She almost looked... fake, lying there. It was hard to think that a week ago, these pale hands had been filled with life, her eyes open and filled with spark and ferocity. I swallowed at that thought: that thought that life could be here, completely normal one minute, then gone the next. I shivered.

"You sure you're okay?" Sirius repeated. I glared at him. "Sorry," he muttered, taking my hand in his. I was a little surprised that it made me feel comforted, having his hand in mine. We both turned back to the coffin nervously.

I bit my lip. Sirius was muttering something under his breath, but I ignored him. In fact, he disappeared, as did everyone else. It was just me, alone with my great aunt. I sighed. "This is weird," I told her body, tilting my head as if I were curious about something. "Talking when I know you can't answer. But it's not your fault. It's _his_. You've always worried about me, but I guess you should have worried about yourself. Anyways... Thank you. For believing in me and for the advice you've given me. I'm glad I followed it." I sighed again. "Good luck in whatever the hell comes next."

Sirius snorted and pushed me away, sensing my conclusion. "Let's go, McGonagall's probably waiting."

"No she's not, she was behind us." Sirius stuck his tongue out.

"Shut it. Anyways, I wanted to talk to you."

I grimaced. So there _had_ been a reason that he had opted to come with me. But what did he want to talk about? "Er, can't it wait until... well, I dunno, we're alone?" He frowned at me, then started herding me towards the same hallway that Apollo had shoved me into earlier.

"Better?" he asked, but he continued without waiting for my answer. "Listen, Artemis, I feel kind of bad about what happened in Hogsmeade yesterday. We, er, well, we both have short tempers, and we both overreact easily, and we both said things we probably shouldn't have said." He paused as if waiting for agreement, or perhaps at least compliance and tolerance. So I nodded. "So I'm sorry. I have to be honest with you: I absolutely hate your rules. But!" he said, silencing my snarky near-comment with a warning glare. "But I think that we can compromise. Of course, that's a two way street. I can't compromise with myself; believe me, I've tried and it doesn't work." I gave him a curious look, but he just waved me off. "I can compromise. The question is: will you?"

I stared at him blankly. He was willing to compromise? Oh, this might not turn out too well, I thought to myself. The voice cackled.

_Two stubborn teenagers? Compromising? _This_ ought to be entertaining._

_Sod off_, I told it. It just laughed some more.

"I... I can compromise too," I said hesitantly, then hastened to add, "but not on the shagging part." Sirius looked like he was going to argue, but instead he just shook his head.

"Fine. No shagging. But the rest is compromisable."

"Fine."

"Fine. Then we can start with the kissing part. I say I'll snog you whenever I bloody well want to; you say we have to wait until after the third date, right?" I nodded, looking at him suspiciously. For some reason, I had a feeling that the voice _would_ find this entertaining. "So how about after the first date?"

I glared at him. "After the second."

He scowled back. "Three days after the first date, unless the second date falls within that period."

I narrowed my eyes dangerously, but nodded. "Fine, three days after the first date."

"Okay. Next: making out, aka touching/groping or _snogging_ in the more intense sense."

"I said sixth date, you said right after first snogging. Third date? And when we say touching/groping, I mean no, er..."

Sirius scowled at me and sighed. "No naughty places?" I nodded and felt my face getting warm, sure sign of more blushing. "Fine. But we aren't going to set a day for that, it'll just come as it will. It's a rule begging to be broken."

My glare deepened, but I let the comment slide. "We already agreed no shagging, and I'm still serious about putting you before Lily."

"Deal. Is that all?" He still looked upset about the fact that I had rules for him to follow, but he just pouted and looked at me expectantly.

"Yes. I'll let you know if I come up with anymore. I'm kidding!" I said hurriedly, looking at his frustrated grimace with a smile. "That's it. We'll just wing the rest."

"Great," he said dryly. We stood in silence for a minute, until we heard our names being called and rushed back into the hall we'd first arrived in. McGonagall gave us a scathing look.

"We're going," she told us, her lips thin as usual. "Say goodbye to your parents, and we'll return to the school."

"Bye, darlings!" my mother cried, hugging me and my brother tightly, and shaking Weddy's and Sirius' hands once more. My father gave me nothing but a scowl, patting Apollo on the back and bidding Weddy farewell. Then he pulled my mother away into the milling crowd of mourners. McGonagall clicked her tongue impatiently.

"Come along now, I've got work to do. I have to have lessons planned, you know!" Oddly, the funeral seemed to have healed her of all the grief she'd been experiencing earlier. With a tight-lipped frown, she thrust the container of Floo Powder at me.

Within minutes, the five of us were standing back in McGonagall's office and she was shooing us away, which was something we did gladly. Sirius and I walked side-by-side down the corridor, in silence; Sirius had just opened his mouth to say something.

"Black!"

Sirius and I grimaced at the sound of my brother's voice echoing along the corridor. We both turned to face him, and I was rather surprised to see that he'd sent Weddy away. He glowered at me and jerked his head, clearly giving me the sign to go away. I sighed and shook my head, turning back to the end of the corridor.

"I'll wait for you at that statue of Godwin the Goblin next floor up, Sirius," I called back, leaving my brother and Sirius alone in the corridor. I could feel Sirius' glare on my back, so I shrugged, not bothering to turn around. As I trekked up the stairs, I began to think a bit better of my decision. Apollo had said he was only going to talk to him; but then, Apollo _was_ in Slytherin, not to mention related to him. Of course, Apollo would probably just act all tough and overprotective; and then Sirius would act all tough and badass. As I came to a stop in front of the statue of a crippled old goblin, I thought that the "talk" would probably end up a duel, or at the least a fistfight. I was just about to go back down the stairs to stop it when Sirius appeared at the bottom. He was still glaring at me, unsurprisingly. I stopped at the top and waited for him to join me, also unsurprised that when he did, it was with a soft punch to the upper arm.

"Thanks," he said sarcastically. "Just ditch me with your brother."

I sighed. "Sorry. He said it was either that or he was telling my dad, and you saw how my dad was."

"Yeah, uncannily like my mum. I bet they'd get along real well."

I snorted. "I'm sure they would." He smirked and kept walking; I fell into step next to him. "Let me guess: he threatened you?"

He laughed. "You really do have a freaky twin bond thing, huh?" I rolled my eyes at him and he chuckled some more. "Yes; he basically said that if I hurt you in any way, I would regret it."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him to sod off and mind his own business. He called me an arse, I called him a stupid bastard, we both walked away."

I sighed and shook my head. Boys and their stupid... well, boys _were_ stupid. We continued on through the castle. We were in the Fat Lady's corridor when Sirius stopped. I stopped too and looked over at him.

"What's wrong?" I asked, frowning at him. He took at deep breath.

"So... we're officially dating now, right?"

I looked at him thoughtfully, pursing my lips a little. "Er, I suppose so. Er, I mean, yes?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "Yes," I repeated more firmly. "Officially."

"Okay." He maintained his nervous stare, suddenly acquiring a pinkish tinge in his cheeks. He held out his hand. "There wasn't a rule against holding hands, right?"

Now I blushed too, many thoughts flitting through my mind. If I held his hand... people would stare at us. They'd know we were together. And it would be awkward. I hated awkward, and I hated being stared at (though admittedly I got enough of that with my slightly psychotic behavior and the rumors Melanie had spread about me). But then again, people would eventually figure out that we were dating; they'd stare anyways. And really, there was no getting around the awkwardness.

And anyways, I realized suddenly, I _wanted_ to hold his hand. I wanted that comforting feeling of having his hand in mine, our fingers laced together. I wanted the warmth of his palm smooth against mine.

I _wanted _to be Sirius' girlfriend, because strangely, it felt _right_.

So with a small smile, I placed my hand in his.


	21. AUTHOR'S NOTE! IMPORTANT!

**((Hey there, !! My marvelous readers!! My fantastic reviewers!!**

**Alas! (Have you ever noticed that "Alas!" is never a good thing?) You're all going to hate me. Or maybe you won't? Well, anyways.**

**Alas! (There it is again!) I'm afraid that the time has come. I must say the words that I always hoped never to say... if that made sense. You see, After twenty chapters of (hopefully) awesomeness, my time has come. I know this sounds mournful, and it is, but bear with me. **

**I'm a recruit in the U.S. Navy, and tomorrow, I head off to basic training for two months. That in itself isn't too terrible. What is, you ask? Well... I'll have no access to my computer: meaning I'll have no access to my story, or my internet. I'm sure you can see the problem. If I have no access, how can I write? How can I post? Well....**

**I can't. Which is the reason for this rambly Author's Note. I'm afraid that I must put The World is Ending on a hiatus, lasting at least two months. This means that I won't be able to write until November. This means that I won't be able to post until November, possibly even December. **

**I know you're sad! You can cry, it's okay! (j/k!!) But please don't assume that my story is being abandoned, like so many are. I definitely intend to continue The World is Ending as soon as I have time (and access to my computer).**

**Thanks so much for understanding, and I'll see you all (hopefully) in approximately two months!! **

**C.))**


	22. Paradise?

**((A/N: Holy goodness!! I've finally managed to finish and publish Chapter 21. I know it took me eternity, so I apologize, but I have many legitimate excuses that you can ask me about if you really care to. But I'm sure that you're all tired of waiting, so suffice it to say that I have been very busy and enjoying the time that I have off. Not that I don't enjoy writing. Just that I had a case of writer's block. In any case, I'm finally back, and hopefully will be inspired to publish more soon. Thanks!! Read and Review, please???))**

**((Disclaimer: No, I did not magically morph into J. while I was away for months. That would be freakishly awesome, though.))**

Sirius couldn't help the goofy grin that spread across his face when Artemis took his hand, and he also couldn't help letting it stay there into the afternoon, even though many of his fellow students stared at them as they walked to the common room, ate dinner, and finished up their homework. It was rather... awkward, at first: people staring at them, and even just the fact that they were holding hands. Sirius found that it was quite easy to ignore all the stares. Especially when Artemis kept shooting the starers scathing looks and they all fled as if she were the plague. Even the strangeness of hand-holding grew easier to cope with. He could hardly believe that Artemis was now his official girlfriend; by nightfall, the news had been passed to every student in Hogwarts and then some. Sirius knew he would distinctly remember the confrontation with Nearly Headless Nick until the day he died.

"Good Heavens! I'd thought that you two would be the death of each other! And certainly the day you started courting would be the day the Bloody Baron dressed as a woman and pranced across the Great Hall!"

Sirius just smiled smugly while Artemis blushed and stuttered something about that being "ridiculous!" Nick laughed, his head wobbling dangerously on his neck, and went on his way, doing whatever it was that he opted to do on a Sunday evening.

Sirius would also remember James' and Lily's reactions. They'd been gone when Sirius and Artemis returned from the funeral, no doubt off on some semi-romantic journey, a stroll perhaps. When they returned, however, later that night, they were in shock. They gaped at the pair for nearly half an hour, until James finally burst out laughing, Lily punched him and congratulated the new couple, and James (still chuckling) grinned and winked at the two (earning himself another punch).

Nearly everyone's reactions were the same: stunned congratulations on the forefront, muttered appraisal to the rear. How long would they last? Who would end it? What would be the wrong word or action that caused the downfall? These were common questions at Hogwarts whenever a new couple formed, and Sirius and Artemis were certainly no exception. In fact, many students believed that there was no way the couple could possibly last long; judging on their past, the common prediction was that they would last no longer than a month, if that.

Sirius thought this to be unfair; after he heard it anyways. James, acting as Sirius' gossipy eyes and ears, conveyed this information that very same night.

It was late, and Sirius had finally bid his new girlfriend good night; James was not far behind, having just done the same with Lily (though in his case it was more like hopefully-soon girlfriend). Sirius was standing before his bed in his pajama bottoms without his t-shirt on when James came into the boys' dormitory, and this time there was no Lily to stop him from laughing.

"I knew it!" James exclaimed as soon as the door shut behind him. "I bloody fucking knew it! I knew you fancied her, mate!"

Sirius rolled his eyes at his best friend, but he couldn't stop the pleased blush that made his cheeks glow pink. James burst out laughing again.

"I knew it!" he repeated, nearly skipping to his own bed in his excitement. "I knew it! You know, it's all over the school. It's big news. Everyone's in shock; they're baffled as to how you and Artemis ended up together when you started out hating each other's asses."

"Hell if I know," Sirius replied, pulling his t-shirt over his head as James removed his. Sirius sighed, a smile gracing his lips. "But I'm kind of glad it happened, however it did. I hate admitting it but... I really do rather fancy her."

James laughed again. "It's just so... fantastic! You know, the thought that you two are together now. Everyone's actually betting on how long you'll last! It's ridiculous; the whole castle's in an uproar!"

Sirius frowned. "Are they really?" For some reason, the thought that people didn't even believe that they could last irked him. "What's the longest?"

"End of year."

Well, that wasn't too bad. That was... how many months now? Seven? Eight? "What about the shortest?"

James frowned at him. "Less than a week," he said flatly, giving his friend a don't-worry-about-it look before searching for his nightclothes.

"Well that's not fair!" Sirius argued angrily. "Who are they to judge? I—"

"I know, mate, I know!" James cut him off, now pulling on his own pajama bottoms. "It wasn't me who said it; in fact, I know you two were bloody meant for each other, and I wish you two had figured out you liked each other sooner. It's just all those jealous birds who wish they'd been the one you chose next. And anyways, who gives a shit what they say?"

Sirius sighed and leaned against his bedpost as James pulled his t-shirt on. "I s'pose you're right, mate." They stood in silence, staring at each other thoughtfully. "Don't know why it bothers me so much," Sirius said suddenly. "I just mean that... well, it's not like I really expect us to be together forever. In fact, I doubt we will, the way we both are." The thought made Sirius' stomach squirm uncomfortably, and he saw a concerned look flash across James' face. The look, however, was instantly replaced with anger.

"What the bloody hell do you mean by that? Shut up—" he snapped before Sirius could respond. "You think you'll break up in the end just because you're both so stubborn and hot-headed? Well, I think that's why you'll make it! You can't just give up on it before you even start out. Besides, your differences are what make you both so strong, and you know what else? I can see in your eyes," his voice dropped low and he came to stand in front of Sirius, smiling eerily. Sirius had to admit he was uncomfortable with James' face mere inches from his own. "You don't want it to end, Sirius. You're still trying to deny it, but you don't fancy her. No, it's much more. You adore her; you love her so much you can't live without her there. You can deny it all you want, mate, but in the end you two will be together, I'll have been right, and you'll both finally admit that you're both madly in love with each other and are glad you gave it a shot and didn't listen to a bunch of tossers who only wanted to break you up. You'll see," James finished with a smirk, patting Sirius on the back while the latter just stared at him.

"James, mate," Sirius finally said, slowly, looking at his friend curiously, "have you been drinking?"

"Fuck you," James replied, rolling his eyes. "Try to give a guy advice."

"All right, all right. You're right, Prongs. It's just, I've got this feeling that something's going to go wrong. You know, like it's Fate or something."

"Padfoot, you're starting to sound like Aurelia. Now just forget all that: forget this stupid feeling of yours, forget all the people who don't want you to be with Ar, forget that you have a shitty family and you're broke and you have nowhere to go after school. Just forget it all and focus on Ar. Because in the end, she's what's most important, even if it seems like all that other bollocks is more so. Okay?"

Sirius looked at him curiously, but James just looked...worried. Finally, he sighed again. "You got it mate. Focus on Artemis. She's most important."

But was she? he thought later that night, lying in his bed and staring up at the scarlet canopy. Was she the most important? She certainly shouldn't be, he told himself vehemently; after all, regardless of what James said, Sirius didn't love her. Liked her, sure; but love her, no. And there were so many things more important to Sirius than one temporary girlfriend.

But then, holding her hand, she'd definitely felt like the most important thing. Her warm hand in his had struck him the way holding hands with a girl never had. Letting go had left him feeling more alone than before.

This was ridiculous, he told himself firmly, narrowing his eyes dangerously at the cloth above his head. He couldn't honestly think he was in love with Artemis. Yes, he liked her, and he did care for her, her sanity, her wellbeing, especially since she'd entrusted so much to him already, even if she hadn't known it at the time. But love? That was something completely different.

Wasn't it?

***~~~***

I really hated that smug smile on Lily's face. Like she'd won something extra special. Except in this case, the only thing she'd won was the knowledge that she'd been right about Sirius and I. And I honestly didn't see how that could be something extra special. But then, clearly it was to her.

"So..." she started with a smile, folding her arms and leaning back against her bed nonchalantly. "You and Sirius."

I sighed and set off on my happy little explanation of how we'd gone to the funeral, how my mother had embarrassed me with stories, how I cried and how we'd compromised. Lily just sat there with that smug look while I talked, rolling my eyes occasionally. Finally, I finished, and the smug look just sat there. "Keep looking at me like that and I swear I'll make you regret it."

But Lily was past being afraid of my threats. She snorted and continued to look at me smugly. "You know, it's about time you two admitted to it."

I gave Lily a withering look. "Not this again..."

But if only she knew what was really going on between Sirius and I. Hell, if only I knew what was going on between us. I'd thought I'd known what there was, that we were fine, just fine, liked each other more than friends but less than actual boyfriend/girlfriend. Now though? I wasn't sure.

Because as much as I hated to admit it, just holding Sirius' hand was enough to make me feel pleasantly blissfull (even though all the staring pissed me off). And if that simple act made me feel like that, I could only imagine how kissing him would make me feel. The fact that the thought excited me instead of sickening me was proof enough. There was more between Sirius and I than I cared to admit. And since I could hardly admit it to myself, I certainly wasn't going to admit it to Lily, no matter how determined she was for me to do so.

I brought an end to my pondering as Lily insisted that Sirius and I loved each other but we were both too bloody stubborn to admit it. Of course, she denied furiously when I accused her of doing the same thing with James.

Bloody hypocrite, I thought with a smile. But then, I finally understood why she was the way she was. Living in fear that someone would realize that secret she held so close to her heart: she could possibly be in love with the very person she hated most. So instead we stubbornly played this game, the childish belief that they wouldn't know if we didn't tell them pushing us on.

But for all that work hiding it, we failed, because people still found us out in the end. It turned out that our feelings were even more stubborn than we were.

The last thing I thought as I finally lay my head against my fluffy scarlet pillow, was that I wasn't going to let those feelings win; loving Sirius Black, as most girls at Hogwarts knew from experience, was a dangerous thing, and, as the voice pointed out, it would only get me hurt.

***~~~***

I growled and folded my arms stubbornly. "Sirius, I don't need you to carry my stuff!"

"Yes you do," he replied, pigheaded as always. "You're my girlfriend, and this is just what boyfriends do. So let me carry your books or I'll make you cry," he threatened. I snorted.

"And how would you do that, pray tell?"

"Oh, there are ways," he said, smiling at me with that libidinous look. I glared at him.

"Don't make me slap you." He sighed and shrugged. "Now give me my books, you arse."

"Nope," he said, already walking away. I huffed indignantly and hastened to catch up. I pouted, but I knew it was time to give up on getting my books back; stubborn arsehole. He turned to face me and laughed at my expression. "That's my Artemis," he joked, slipping his arm around my waist; "Proud as hell, you. We need to fix that."

"Sod off," I told him, but he just smiled at my exasperated tone and pulled me closer to him.

"Are we still doing dinner tonight?" he asked, suddenly looking nervous; his question served to give me my own nervous feeling.

"Sirius, how is dinner romantic? We go to dinner with each other every night."

"Yes, but tonight we're going to dinner in the kitchens."

I laughed. "That makes it so much better!" I said sarcastically. Sirius just smiled.

"You'll see." With that he let go of my waist and walked ahead of me again. As soon as he was turned away from me, I frowned at him. He was definitely nervous about our dinner date later that night, and I knew exactly why.

We'd been going out for almost a week, and this would be our second date. I suppose. Our first date, to be truthful, hadn't been bad; in fact, I'd rather enjoyed it. Sirius had dragged me to the Room of Requirement, where he'd happily taught me a muggle sport called kickboxing. I got the feeling he was enjoying hitting me, but I was actually pretty good at it and hit him just as much. By the end, both of us were sore and bruised, but it was probably the most fun I'd ever had with him.

So now we were about to go on our second date, and according to our agreement, Sirius could kiss me afterwards. So Sirius was nervous; probably he was trying to make sure everything would be perfect so that it wouldn't get ruined.

I was just nervous because I knew everything would go perfect and wouldn't get ruined. Which meant I'd have to kiss him. It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss him; after all, he was hot (finally, I'll admit that much). It was just that... kiss Sirius? Me? I'd spent so much time watching Melanie kiss him and wanting to throw up, and watching April kiss him and wanting to kill something, that I just couldn't imagine kissing him myself, nor how my body would react to it.

What if, purely out of reflex or instinct, I got sick? Or tried to kill something? Or burst out laughing? Or fainted? Or what if the world really did end? After all, everyone (including myself) had always said that the day Sirius and I got together, the world would end. It hadn't happened yet, but what if it was just waiting for the right moment to explode or flood or be swallowed by the sun? You never know, right? Or what if—

Okay, Artemis, calm down, I told myself firmly, trying to slow my frantic heart before Sirius looked back and saw me panicking. That was something I really didn't want to happen. Why was I freaking out anyways? It wasn't as though I'd never been kissed before. So what if Sirius was different from every other guy I'd ever went out with? That was no reason to have a panic attack over it. So what was it then?

Gah! This was stupid! Fine, if I wanted to panic over my first kiss with Sirius, then fine! Let my body panic! It wasn't that big a deal, I told myself firmly, following Sirius and catching up to him with a smile. Actually, it would have been hard not to smile with him looking at me that way: like he couldn't get enough of me. Of course, as soon as I registered the look, it would be gone.

But it didn't change the fact that I'd seen it. And it was nice to see it because it made me feel like he actually did like me too.

With a small smile at mine, Sirius took my hand with the one that wasn't holding my stuff.

***~~~***

"Well?" Sirius asked expectantly, smirking at what I expected was my shocked expression. "What do you think? Now, tell me you don't like it."

I glared at him and pouted. "Well... I, er, I don't really know what to say..."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I just told you what to say."

"Oh, sod off," I told him, sighing and turning to the set up. How he'd managed to get the house elves to do something like this, I couldn't even begin to guess. Well, it might have something to do with the fact that they would do anything they were asked, but...

To go as far as to prepare such a dinner for two was, to me, remarkable. There was a small table set with a scarlet silk tablecloth, with fine china dishes and silver utentsils, and two tall, white candles on other side of a vase of flowers. I could see primroses, tuberoses, and orange blossoms, along with others small white flowers; in fact the entire bouquet was made up of white (or at least semi-white) flowers. I turned to glare at Sirius.

"You have no idea what those flowers mean, do you?" I asked, smiling at a house elf who pulled out the chair for me.

"Of course I do," Sirius said smugly, sitting down opposite me while I looked at him with surprise.

"You do?" I asked skeptically. Sirius Black knew about flowers?

"Of course I do," Sirius repeated, then pointed to the orange blossoms. "These symbolize purity, chastity and innocence, also known as virginity." I blushed and glowered at him, but he continued, pointing at the tuberoses. "These mean dangerous pleasures." He smirked at me, then pointed at the primroses. "These are young love, though some say they mean I can't live without you. See, I knew what I was doing when I ordered these."

I gaped at him. He really did know what they meant... I wasn't sure if that made it better or worse. So I settled for this response: "I hate you."

"I know," Sirius muttered with a smile, taking my hand over the table and putting it softly to his lips, not really kissing it, just holding it there.

"And what exactly were you insinuating when you picked these out?" I asked, not bothering to pull my hand back; he was staring at me over my hand with his stormy gray eyes, slightly distracting me as my face probably turned red. He just smiled at me.

"I think you know. You know what comes after this, right?"

"Ah," I said, grimacing at the warmth in my face as I pulled my hand away from him. "So you did all this just because you get to kiss me?" I clarified.

"Partially," he admitted with a smile. "But I have to admit that I just can't seem to squash that part of me that wants to impress you. Annoying bugger, he is."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Well, at least a part of you isn't only here for snogging. It's nice to know that a little bit of you isn't like all those other guys." Sirius grimaced at me and snatched my hand up again.

"I'm not only here for snogging! Maybe I like your snarky, sarcastic attitude."

"And maybe I like..." I trailed off thoughtfully; as if I really had to think about all the things I shouldn't like about him but did. Sirius rolled his eyes, and I smirked. "I like how you talk my sarcastic attitude and throw it right back in my face. Not many people can do that, you know."

"It's natural," he replied seriously, giving me an egotistical grin. I rolled my eyes.

"I can see that. If only that quality didn't come with the natural ability to be an arse as well."

"Well, nobody's perfect. Not even me. It's hard to believe, I know."

"Not as hard as it is to believe that you can even lift that fat head of yours."

We went on like this for a while, exchanging smart-ass comments, giving each other you're-a-moron looks. At last, the house elves brought us our meal: a deliecious slab of perfectly cooked steak, with an assortment of steamed vegetables, mashed potatoes, rices, and other scrumptious looking foods. We ate in relative silence, occasionally pointing out something either offending or stupid, until they brought out a dessert of puddings and eclairs. It was amazing how greatly the stupid conversations we had together made the serious ones I'd had with my other boyfriends sound meaningless.

What did it then? I wondered as the moment drew closer and the butterflies found a way into my stomach with the steak. What made Sirius Black so different from all the other guys? In actuality, he was just like all those others; and yet he was so utterly unlike them. I had to stop myself from sighing loudly; Sirius was so... _complicated_.

Finally, the food was taken away by the smiling elves and Sirius stood up, stretching.

"Delicious, as always," Sirius told what I assumed was the leader of the kitchen elves, judging by the fact that the misshapen blob on it's head that I guessed was a hat was bigger than the other elves'.

"We are happy to serve the young master and mistress!" the elf squeaked happily as I stood as well. "We are glad to see that the meal was to your liking!"

Sirius just nodded and took my hand again, pulling me back through the kitchens to the portrait entrance and out into the relative cool of the corridor. My heart was quickly picking up pace. I almost expected him to shove me into the nearest broom cupboard.

But he didn't. Instead, we just walked slowly back in the direction of Gryffindor tower, hands entwined, my heart pounding away. The anticipation, the waiting for him to kiss me, as I knew that he must, was killing me.

He glanced sideways at me as we neared the Fat Lady and snickered at what was either a comical frustrated expression, or else a comical confused one. "Ah, forgot something," he muttered, coming to a halt and jerking me around gently to face him. Without warning, his lips met mine.

Well... I guess I should have seen that coming.

It wasn't anything special, really. I mean, I'd been led by so many to believe that Sirius was going to be some... kissing extraordinaire. But he didn't seem to be a magnificiant kisser; in fact it seemed just like every other kiss that I'd had since... well, since I started kissing boys.

Except for the other thing I didn't see coming. Meaning the strange, fuzzy, warm, gooey, happy feeling that erupted in my lower stomach. It was like wanting to hurl and wanting to exlode from joy all at once. And it seemed to be swelling to fill my chest, travelling along my legs and arms and up my neck until I was dizzy from it.

Was this how it felt then? To love someone so much that you wanted to be as close to them as possible? Or was this just my teenage hormones finally kicking in? About three or four years too late, I might add.

I suppose I decided that it really didn't matter, because the next thing I knew I was kissing him back, and he was making no move to stop me. In the meantime, his hands had fallen to my hips and had pulled me against him without my noticing, but they were slowly making their way up to where we'd agreed they wouldn't be. I could feel his muscles--one in particular--against me, and he was so--

I pushed him away immediately, glowering at him. "What happened to our compromise?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest and frowning down the corridor in an attempt and failure to hide my furious blush.

"Well," he replied with a smirk, "_I_ didn't make you kiss me back. Clearly, my amazing prowess at snogging seduced you into snogging me back."

I nearly choked on my own spit, but I _did _choke back the words that I wanted to say. After all, telling him that I didn't think he was the most amazing kisser ever might actually have been too big a blow to his ego. Instead I rolled my eyes at him and patted his arm comfortingly. "Believe whatever you want to, Sirius, just keep your bloody hands where they should be," I warned with a warning glance at the pocket where we both knew my wand rested. He sighed and held up his hands in surrender.

"All right, all right," he submitted, much too easily. But he did seem sincere as he reached for my hand and started towards the Fat Lady's portrait again.

That was when we heard it.

Lily.

Giggling.

Sirius seemed utterly confounded at the sound, looking back at me as if he thought that I had made it. I, however, had heard the sound before; I instantly began looking around for the source. After all, Lily's giggling couldn't be far from Lily herself, and the only time that she giggled over anything was in the quiet privacy of the girls' seventh dorm. At last, I realized that it was coming from behind a tapestry not far from where Sirius and I were standing dumbstruck in the hall. With a meaningful glance at Sirius' baffled expression, I crept towards the tapestry, dragging Sirius with me, wondering if I was about to be jinxed and hexed by Lily.

I might as well have been; what I saw behind the tapestry nearly knocked me backwards anyway. After all, it's not very often that you see Lily Evans and James Potter snogging. I actually don't think they noticed as Sirius and I both quickly backtracked away from the tapestry, smiling at each other as we left them to it.


	23. It Never Lasts

**((A/N: Uhhhh... yeah, I'm sure you've all had enough of them, but I can't apologize enough for making you wait so long! Though by now you've accepted that I'm a busy person with a life outside of my fanfics. Don't get me wrong, I love writing them! I just need more time! Anyways, I've been really busy and exhausted, but I finally finished Chapter 22, and so... here it is! Read, review, and enjoy! Even if you hate me!))**

**((Disclaimer: So excited to see the new movie! And I don't own that either!))**

I sighed as I prodded tiredly at the half-sized suit of armor I was supposed to be animating. Currently, the majority of the class had armor traversing the room, nearly running over students who were focused on their own spellcasting; others had arms waving, or heads nodding, or some sort of movement in any form. Mine, suffice it to say, was not quite so lively. Sirius seemed to have given up on helping me for the day, however; he was currently engaged in a furious conversation with James. I had the sneaking suspicion that he was using some sort of spell to keep their conversation quiet, as I couldn't hear the words even though the pair was standing not two feet away. I also got the feeling that I knew what it was about. Both boys looked rather smug, James embarassedly so. And Lily, showing off as always for the professor, was turning a shade of red that told me she probably knew what they were talking about as well.

With a roll of my eyes, I made a mental note to myself to kick both Sirius and James later. Stupid boys.

But enough of boys. It was almost Christmas, I reminded myself with another half-hearted prod at the motionless armor. I just had to make it to Christmas; then I wouldn't have to worry about Charms or classes or my family or anything else unpleasant.

Not that I was leaving Hogwarts. But that was the wonderful thing: I had nowhere else to be except with Sirius, and Sirius had nowhere else to be. And since Sirius and I had nowhere to be, we would be here, together, with nothing to interrupt our semi-platonic relationship from further developing.

I say semi-platonic because, ever since our first kiss, kissing him seemed to become an addiction. Or possibly just a habit. I loved kissing him, which was odd since I still didn't find his kissing extraordinary. Of course, we were still sticking to our compromises: I still wouldn't let him touch my breasts or, er, lower regions, though I got the feeling that his "come as it will" was coming along rather sooner than I expected.

But I still wasn't positive that I was in love with him. And that was the most important thing, was it not? That was why people dated, wasn't it? To find that one person who they loved enough to give themselves to? Or was I just horribly old-fashioned? After all, there were people out there like my father, who only married for money; and there were people out there like my mother, who married only for the attention that it garnered. Was there even such a thing as love? Or was it just made up, created for someone's amusement, or to give someone hope? How did you know when you were actually in love? How did you know when it was actually real?

And where the bloody hell were all these deep pressing questions coming from? They were questions I certainly had no answers to, so I dropped them, prodding again at the armor. Which remained motionless where it was. Damn it.

"You're still prodding too much."

I looked over my shoulder at Lily, who was still rather red faced and glaring in the direction of Sirius and James, and sighed. "Yeah, I figured. Don't know why I'm having such trouble with this..." I muttered, waving my wand instead. Green sparks flew from the tip, nearly lighting Olivia's hair on fire. I smirked and waved at her semi-innocently. Lily chuckled.

"You'll get the hang of it sooner or later." I rolled my eyes and she laughed some more.

"So are you and James going out?" I changed the subject. Lily's laughter cut off immediately, replaced by choking. I grinned.

"N-no! I mean, I-I know what you saw, but it wasn't-I mean, it wasn't what you think! I, well, we... Fuck, Ar, don't say it so loudly!"

Which was as good as a confession to me. I laughed. "Well, now, when did this-"

"Ar!" she snapped, and suddenly her wand was pointed subtly in the direction of my face, not quite quite openly enough to draw attention. I smiled.

"Right, right, apologies, Lils. We'll talk about that later." She glared at me but didn't argue.

Anyways, I didn't need her to explain. By the time I had the chance to talk to Lily where no one could hear us, it was all over school anyways. And seeing how oblivious the two became of everything else when they were near each other, it wasn't that hard to figure out how. From what I could gather, Sirius and I weren't the only ones to have seen the two snogging. It was quite apparent to everyone at Hogwarts that James had finally gotten his wish: he and Lily were dating.

Of course, I (along with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, I could only assume) was one of the few who got the juicy details.

"It just happened," Lily frowned, clearly hating the attention everyone was showering on her.

"Oh come on, Lils!" I argued stubbornly. "There has to be something, some story! Come on!"

She glared at me. "How did you change your mind and fall in love with Sirius?" she countered. It was my turn to scowl.

"Oh fine," I muttered. "Don't tell me, then. Anyways, I suppose it doesn't really matter; what matters is that you two are _finally _together!"

"I suppose," Lily conceded; then, to change the subject, asked, "Are you really going to stay here over Christmas holiday? You're more than welcome to come stay with me and my family. I'm sure that my parents won't mind much."

I shook my head and smiled. Lily seemed determined to believe that because I wasn't going home for the holidays, I must be lonely and family-deprived. "Lils, I already told you, you don't need to worry about me. I'm going to stay here with Sirius." She narrowed her eyes.

"Yes, well, that's why I'm worried."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please," I told her in an exasperated tone. "I'm sure you and James are farther along that road than me and Sirius." She glared at me, but didn't bother arguing; she knew it was the truth.

"You know, that wasn't what I meant, but I suppose that's good to know." She turned a raised eyebrow on me. "I actually was just hoping that Gryffindor Tower will survive the holidays. After all, you two still argue a lot; when you aren't busy snogging and being all couple-y and stuff, that is." I smiled. She was certainly right about that; just yesterday, we'd argued about where we would go on the next Hogsmeade trip (just before Christmas break started). I'd won that one; after all, when you walk away with no eyebrows, that typically means you've lost. Sirius did agree later that he looked quite ridiculous with no eyebrows and we'd laughed it off.

"No worries, Lils; I'll make sure your bed is left, at least."

Lily sighed. "I suppose that's the best I can hope for..."

I laughed; by this time, we had reached the Great Hall for dinner. Our conversation paused until we'd both sat down and loaded up our plates.

It's really a wonder I'm not fat, I thought to myself as I began eating a large portion of tuna casserole and seafood pasta. All the good food here...

My pondering of food was interrupted by a sharp rap on my head. With a grimace, I turned to face my brother, throwing on my best fake smile and saying politely, "Good evening, brother; what can I do for you?"

Apollo's response was brief: he dropped a packet of parchment next to my plate and walked away (you can't get much more brief than that). Seeing my father's curly handwriting, I tucked it into my robes and pretended nothing had happened, turning back to Lily as Sirius and James joined us. Lily gave me one of those, 'You're-acting-funny-but-I-can-wait-till-later-to-find-out-why' looks, instead smiling at her boyfriend as he sat down across from her.

"You two are so lucky that you didn't have detention with us; Filch was particularly horrible today," Sirius stated matter-of-factly as he piled food on his golden plate.

"I wouldn't call it lucky so much as I would call it smart enough not to pull horrible pranks on first years and think we'd get away with it," I responded, digging back into my tuna casserole. "What did he make you do?" I asked before Sirius could start griping about how someone like me couldn't possibly understand.

It seemed to be enough, as Sirius settled for a glare and said, "He made us scrub that mangy cat of his for over an hour; and then he had us go clean that nasty bathroom on the seventh floor for another hour. And then he made us sort some paperwork."

"Well goodness," I said sarcastically around a mouthful of pasta, "What the bloody hell did you do to that first year?"

Before the two could respond, Lily commented, "What's the Head Boy doing getting detention anyways?" And James looked so put out by this comment that we all burst out laughing, Lily included.

It was sad that, as much as I tried to prolong dinner, and the joyful banter that came afterwards, my bed came much too soon for me to be comfortable. I didn't even bother trying as I pulled out the parchment that my brother had left me with, knowing that if it was indeed from my father, whatever was written on it would be enough to make me uncomfortable regardless. Unfortunately, I was correct.

_Dearest Apollo,_

_I do hope that this letter finds you in good health. I know your mother would be quite upset if it did not. I suppose I should also inquire as to your sister as well; though you know that you have always been more close to my heart. _

_Unfortunately, it is about your sister that I have written you. I know that, as is usual, she has chosen to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas holidays. But it is necessary for her to come home this year. An important person is coming to see us, and our image would be a bit... put off if one of our family was missing. I know that I could choose to write Artemis herself on the matter, instead of routing it through you. However, her feelings towards me, as we both know, are the reciprocals of mine. _

_She trusts you, son; she'll listen to you. So it falls to you to get her here. It's the normal consequences if you don't. For both of you. Don't fail me._

_Continue to do well in school. See you at home._

_**Marcus Gaunt**_

It took me multiple times of reading and re-reading, and re-re-re-re-re-reading the letter to realize that it was my father demanding that I return home for Christmas holidays. I nearly snorted, remembering just in time that the other girls were also in their beds, probably not yet asleep. With a quiet sigh, I tossed the letter to the foot of my bed. The normal consequences, I thought to myself. He was quite serious about this, clearly, to go so far as to threaten both of us with them. The normal consequences consisted of a not-so-quick, not-so-painless, and definitely not-so-pleasant beating, berating, and beheading (figuratively, of course. We'd be dead if he actually beheaded us. Yes, it was abuse; yes, he got away with it. But what was I supposed to do?). Who could possibly be important enough that my father thought I needed to be there? My father wasn't tremendously well connected, even if we weren't exactly unknown.

Aw, well, I decided as my eyes fluttered shut and I rolled onto my side, finally hearing a few light snores from other areas of the room, I'm sure Apollo can deal with it.

"You can't just leave me all alone in this, Temmy," my brother argued as I continued walking towards Divination as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, come on, Olly, you know he won't beat you!" I retorted. "You've always been his favorite."

He grabbed my arm and jerked me to a stop. "You know that's not true." I gave him a skeptical look and he glared at me. "I mean, yes, I am his favorite, but he'd beat me as soon as he would you. You know that; you'd just leave your twin brother to go through that?"

I glowered right back. "Apollo, if you don't want to just deal with it, then don't go home. Stay, like I am. That way neither of us will be beat, and Father will just have to go on with his life. I mean, whoever it is he's trying to impress can't be that important, right?"

"Then what about Mother?"

Huh. I hadn't thought about my mother; if neither Apollo nor myself showed up for Christmas, not only would she be depressed to the max; my father would also probably take out his anger on her.

"I have to go back every Christmas because you won't."

"Well then, you go back and I'll not go back and it'll be just like every other Christmas! See, problem solved! Now, if you'll excuse me..." I turned to make my hasty exit; but Apollo was too quick. He grabbed my arm and twisted me around.

"Artemis," he said quietly, giving me the all-business face. "Please don't leave me with him. Is it really that hard to spend a Christmas with your family? For my sake?"

"But... I promised Sirius..."

"Temmy... if you and Black actually work out, you'll have plenty of Christmas's to spend together. And we both know that you'll never come back for another family one. You really want to put him over Mother and I?" And his look turned so pitiful and pathetic, an expression I so rarely saw on him, that I gave a sigh and turned away.

"Fine," I muttered. I supposed I owed it to my mother; after all, Apollo was right. There wasn't a chance that I would be going home for family Christmas's once I left home, not when it meant coming back to my hateful father. I would be free, even though it would kill my mother's happiness. I'd go home for her, and only for her. But Apollo didn't seem to care about my reasons. He just looked relieved. For the first time in quite a long time, my brother hugged me.

"Thanks Temmy. Everything will go all right, you'll see."

But I had the most horrible feeling that it wouldn't.

Sirius, unfortunately, seemed to agree with me.

"I don't get it," he said for the hundredth time later that day, outside in the snow for Care of Magical Creatures. "Why did you change your mind?"

So, maybe I'd neglected to tell him about the letter... meaning of course that his reasons for agreeing with me weren't quite the same and were more based on the fact that he was officially being ditched for Christmas holidays. But still. So instead I said: "I already told you, Sirius! This is the last time I'll ever spend Christmas at home. The last good thing that my mother will have with me before I run off after graduation and never come home again. I know you want me to spend it with you, but if you think about it: if you really love me, we'll get married and have a life together, right? So we'll have every coming Christmas from now until we die together. Am I right?"

Sirius, however, looked completely taken aback. "M-married? Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, Artemis..."

I rolled my eyes. "Right. All I'm saying is that there will be plenty of other Christmas's. So don't worry about it."

Sirius sighed and glared at me. "I still don't get it." I turned to glared at him, taking my eyes off the Bowtruckle I was attempting to tame (stupid idea, I know; but I couldn't help it). This was clearly a mistake, as the creature bit my gloved hand hard enough to tear through gloves and skin, and escaped my grip to join its friends, who were watching me with wearly looks. Sirius pulled out his wand and performed the simple charm to heal the small cut, continuing: "I just mean that, you were so set against going home this morning; so what made you have this, er..." he waved his hands around as though he could draw the word from thin air, accidentally shooting sparks at a nearby group of Ravenclaws. They scowled at us as Sirius managed, "revelation. I mean, you clearly didn't think of it yourself."

I sighed. He clearly wasn't going to let this go. "Well, Apollo convinced me... I mean, he cares about mum too... I guess he knew that was the only thing that could convince me to go." Sirius continued to glare at me, but this time, he didn't argue.

"All right. If that's what you really want, Artemis. I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Potter will be okay with me staying with them." He gave me one last look. "You'd tell me if it was something else, right? Something bad?"

He waited, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him yes; so all I did was smile sadly, hoping that he couldn't see through to the truths that I'd left out.

Thankfully, I was saved by James, who appeared to have heard his last name mention and decided to inquire as to why. As Sirius was distracted, telling him about my horrible dilemma, I turned my attention back to the bowtruckles, who seemed to notice my attention shift and who immediately fled towards the forest before I could snatch another one. I sighed; so much for that idea.

As the day wore on, I was repeatedly berated by Lily, who had been told by James that I wasn't staying with Sirius for the holidays, and repeatedly made to feel guilty about it by James, who was cleary very disapproving of my decision, and repeatedly glared at by Sirius, who was obviously still unhappy that I'd rather spend time with my mother and brother than him (which was completely false, of course, but what else was I supposed to tell him?).

The only one who seemed to understand, or a least to not feel the need to make me guilt-ridden, was Remus. Therefore, I spent a great deal of my time with him in the library, even though we didn't talk; we only did homework. But at least Remus wasn't trying to make me feel bad.

"Well, you clearly are just going home because its the last time you'll go home for a very long time," he said matter-of-factly when I explained the situation to him. "After all, if you look at you're history with them, and look at your attitude when it comes to your family, it's quite obvious that you would much rather be here with Sirius than home with your father, mother, and brother."

"Exactly!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air and earning myself a dirty look from the librarian. "I mean, it's not like I keep it a secret, the fact that I absolutely hate going home, ever; especially when I could be staying here."

"Well... you can't pick your family, right?" Remus said in an I-don't-really-know-what-to-tell-you sort of way. And that was the end of that. Peace at last.

Even if it was hiding from Sirius in the most isolated part of the library with Remus, doing homework.

Why was Sirius being such a jerk? I asked myself for perhaps the millionth time. It was much too late for me to change my mind; and if he was going to be such a jerk, maybe I didn't want to hang out with him over Christmas break anyways. Besides, we were already on the train. Already halfway across the country, or whatever, to London, to Hell. Already too far out of reach to turn back now. I suppose I could just stay on the train; but no, Apollo would find me and drag me off. I could sneak off with my friends, hide in the crowd. But chances were my family would have a sharp eye out for me, expecting something of that sort and nabbing me anyways. I could steal James' invisibility cloak that he thought no one knew about but his friends; but how would I without him seeing me? And there was always the possibility that he didn't have it with him.

Nope, I was definitely stuck going home now.

I should have changed my mind while there was still time.

And still, Sirius glared and pouted and snapped at me when he spoke to me. Yup; definitely being a jerk. And anyways, he still had James to hang out with, right? It was better than what I had: my overattentive, overaffectionate mother; my inaffectionate, cruel father; and a brother who varied between those two extremes. I'd have picked James any day. Only Sirius would want it the other way.

"Ar? Artemis!" I snapped back to focus as Lily swatted my arm.

"Ow, Lils! What the hell?"

Lily smiled. "Well, if you'd listen when people talk to you, you wouldn't get hit, now would you? I asked what your address was. So I can send you your gift."

"Oh... er, right, I think it'd be better if you just waited on that..."

"Why?" Peter asked curiously; I glared at him and he cringed a little bit. "Er, I mean..."

"My dad just... isn't much into gift giving. And he tends to live by the 'what's yours is mine' rule. As in, everything under his roof belongs to him." Literally everything, including the people. But that would be kept to myself, at least for now. And forever.

"And yet, you'd rather spend Christmas with him than me," Sirius jumped to say. I resisted the urge to respond with "Fuck you," instead glaring at him.

"I never said that, you arse," I argued. "I said that this is the last Christmas I'll be going home and I feel obliged to spend it with my _mother_. Most definitely not my father."

"And not with me. Didn't occur to you to maybe, oh, I dunno, invite your boyfriend over, now did it?"

I blinked, a little surprised. Huh... "Actually it hadn't. Of course, now you say it!" I punched him in the arm. "Why the hell did you mention that earlier? It's too late now!"

"Why's it too late now?" James asked, breaking from his conversation with Lily about _his _address, and all the things he'd miss about her over holidays. "You can still take him. Trust me, I wouldn't be at all offended." He winked at Lily, who rolled her eyes at him. Everyone looked at me expectantly, not seeming to understand that I couldn't take Sirius home with me, at least not without giving my dad some time to get control of his ire when he found out. And Merlin knew how long that would take. Until then, everyone within range would be in danger of some kind of harm.

So yes, it was most certainly too late. But how was I supposed to explain to my best friends that my father was a dangerous madman who had the temper of a mother dragon whose eggs had just been poached? "Well... It's just that... er-"

"What my sister means to say," my brother interrupted, sliding open the door and looking around the compartment intently, "is that as much as she'd love to have Black come, my father and mother have decided this is going to be a _family_-oriented Christmas. And while, Merlin forbid it, you may someday, _maybe_ become part of the family (and I very_, very_ much doubt that will happen), you aren't family."

Sirius looked like he was actually going to gag at the idea; James, however, seemed suspicious. "Need something, Gaunt?" he asked warily, putting his hands in his pocket, where his wand was likely to be stowed. Apollo just smiled and nodded at me.

"Just making sure she doesn't escape. She's not exactly happy about having to come home; of course, you probably knew that, seeing how you're her friends and all."

Sirius scowled at me, as _I'd_ asked my brother to come in here and berate him for being such a jerk. Not that it wasn't welcome.

"Of course," Lily answered instead, smiling at my brother. "And I suppose that, even though Sirius is upset at being left behind, it's always a good thing to spend a Christmas with your family. Even if you don't particularly enjoy it."

I stuck my tongue out at her. Apollo smiled back. "I agree. Anyways, I should get back now. Don't try to escape, Artemis,' he warned darkly, then he left.

Ugh, sometimes my brother was annoying. And he wasn't the boss of me!

Not that I was actually going to try to escape. As I said before, at this point, it was pretty much impossible. I sighed. Then cringed when Sirius kissed my cheek and put his arm over my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he sighed loudly, rolling his eyes and speaking in a tone that implied that he thought I should be saying it instead. I would have rolled my eyes at him, but I had a feeling it would only make the situation worse; so instead I settled for a semi-blank stare. "I am!" he insisted loudly, glaring at me. "I mean, I _suppose_ I understand why you'd like to spend your Christmas holidays with... you know, your family. But I guess I just... Erm, nevermind," he pouted glaring at me some more. I rolled my eyes at him.

"You know, I bet I could away from them sometime; we could meet up somewhere and hang out. I mean, it's not exactly the same... but that way, its not the whole break." Sirius didn't really respond, but I could tell that he was relatively happy with the suggestion. Satisfied, I leaned back into the seat, relaxed for the rest of the journey.

Which passed way to quickly for my tastes. It felt like only minutes after that that we were pulled into the train station, lugging out bags out onto Platform 9 3/4, searching the crowded platform for our families (I didn't search very hard). Lily almost immediately spotted her parents, gave James a big kiss, me a hug, and skipped over to join them. A split second after that, Apollo joined us, unfortunately having found our parents.

I turned to look at Sirius sadly; he didn't seem to have noticed the addition to our group. He was still looking around in the other direction. I wondered for a second who he was looking for: was he watching his younger brother, the unshunned, be greeted by their mother lovingly, feeling jealous? Or was he looking for my parents, not realizing they'd already been found, just awaiting (unhappily, maybe?) the moment when we would be torn apart for the holidays? Or maybe he was looking for James' parents, eager to start his holidays, even if it was without me? It was probably the last, I thought, more amused than disgruntled at the thought.

I poked him in the arm gently and he turned to me with a small frown. I smirked at his slightly pathetic expression, then nodded at my brother. "I have to go, Sirius," I told him softly, wishing that James and my family weren't all watching me (I hadn't spotted my parents yet, but chances were they _were___watching). Sirius face fell even further and he took my hand.

"Oh," he said simply.

I blinked at his forlorn-ness. "You really are going to miss me, aren't you?"

Sirius glared. "Are you saying you won't miss me?"

I snorted; "Of course I will! I don't even want to go..." I cut myself off before I said something I'd regret later. Instead I said, "But we can meet up sometime; I mean, he can't expect me to hang around the house all day, every day, right? So we'll just meet up over break."

Sirius nodded slowly. "Yeah, I s'ppose so." He pulled out a piece of parchment from his bag and scribbled something down on it, handing the sheet to me. "Here's James' address. His folks won't mind if you drop by. So... whenever. And..." he hesitated, looking around quickly and kissing my lips even more quickly before he pulled back again, looking into my eyes as if into my very soul. "If you need anything, or if you, i dunno, start feeling weird or something... just let me know. And you know where to find me."

I nodded, folding the parchment carefully and putting it in my pocket. "Thanks, I will." An awkward silence ensued before my brother finally cleared his throat impatiently. "Er, right, I'd better go." With a deliberate look at my father, who I'd finally spotted to my right, staring at us venomously, I pulled Sirius into me for a hug and a slightly longer kiss, and a mumbled "Talk to you later;" then I walked with my brother back to my parents, ready to take whatever was about to be thrown at me.

And let me tell you: I was _not_ looking forward to Christmas holidays.

Sirius watched Artemis walk away, his lips still warm where her lips had pressed against his, unaware of James next to him saying something about it only being a couple weeks, even if it would seem like eternity. Sirius was more concerned with the sinking feeling in his stomach as she walked away; it wasn't exactly sadness, though he was rather sad to be parted from her (not that he, you know, was in love with her or anything; because he wasn't) but more like one of those feelings that you get right before something bad happens.

In the end, Sirius decided that it must just be the way she felt about the situation; maybe her obvious fear of her father (however she tried to hide it) was finally getting to him. And anyways, Sirius would see her over break, he would make sure of that. He would know if anything was wrong with her.

But why was the fear emanating from her, growing deeper as she walked away, so much more than just the fear of a scolding from a parent. What did Marcus Gaunt do to her to make her the way she was? Or was she just purely exaggerating.

"Sirius!" James yelled, punching his best mate in the arm and bringing him from his stupor. Sirius rubbed his upper arm and scowled at James. "You ready mate? My parents are right over there." Sirius nodded and gave Artemis one last glance.

"It'll be alright," he whispered to himself softly, earning himself a worried look from James; then he put his girlfriend from his mind and followed James into Christmas Holidays.


	24. A Very Unmerry Christmas

((A/N: Blah blah blah, jibbity-jabbity. You don't really need to hear my spiel, do you?))

((Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter or any of its awesome-ness.))

It was horrible from the very start. Of course, I'd already known that it would be; but that certainly didn't stop it from being horrible from the very start.

My mom almost immediately had my brother and I enveloped in her arms, kissing and hugging and telling us in her best mommy voice how much she'd missed her little babies while we were away. And I would have pushed her off me, begrudingly folded my arms and complained about the fact we were in public, for Merlin's sake, if it weren't for the fact that my dearest mum was the only thing standing between my cold-hearted father and my possibly soon-to-be cold, dead body.

My father had almost certainly seen me and Sirius, and regardless of the fact that you couldn't see it, he was absolutely irate. If weren't for my dear old mummy, and the hundreds of witnesses lingering around the platform, I'd probably already be dead. Of course, there weren't going to be hundreds of witnesses once we were home, and my dear old mummy wasn't really much help when it came to defying her husband, but...

Okay, so maybe poking my angry dragon of a father in the eye wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do. But I was upset that he was dragging me away from Sirius, and I had to get back at him somehow.

Finally, we managed to get going, all four of us Disapparating on the spot, materializing with a small _pop_ on the frosty front drive of our slightly larger than average house. My father shot the house a look he usually saved for me: one of disappointment and shame; though the house had five large bedrooms, three full bathrooms, and plenty of living space, my father was always wishing longingly for a manor, a mansion, a palace, with huge grounds that he would never see because he never went outside anyways. I once asked my father what the point in all that was; he just snapped at me and told me not to ask such stupid questions.

But apparently, I ask a lot of stupid questions.

We were in the yard for approximately five seconds before something snagged in my hair and began pulling me towards the house. It wasn't hard to figure out that this something was my father's hand, even before I looked up to see his angry countenance staring down at me as he pulled me roughly by my hair to the house. Which wasn't very nice. I almost reached for my wand out of reflex, but I knew that would only make everything worse. And anyways, I kind of expected something like this. Especially since I antagonized him.

But... it wasn't like he was going to kill me, really. Right?

Right. Half an hour later, I was almost feeling like I got off lucky. I got off with only a few bruises and hex marks. There were a few moments when my father gripped his wand tightly, his knuckles white, his mouth opened as if to say those two words. But they never came. Thankfully.

Having accomplished his punishment, my father held out his hand to me expectantly. "Your wand," he ordered. I gaped at him.

"M-my wand? But-"

"Now," he snapped. I considered telling him where he could shove it; only the pain reminded me that I should think twice about that. So with a malicious glare at the ground, I took my wand from my pocket and placed it gingerly in his waiting hand. For a second I thought he was going to snap it in half; I think he thought so too. But instead, my wand disappeared inside his robes. And without another word to me, my father disappeared as well.

It was a few minutes after that that I finally decided that was really all. After I had accepted this, I made my way to my room, opening the door to my bedroom and collapsing on the bed. Suddenly so tired, but constantly reminded by the pain that I should probably take actions to prevent swelling and soreness. I'd thought my father was above using the Cruciatus Curse, at least on me. But apparently not; it was what now made my muscles sore: clenching my muscles (as if that would help relieve that terrible pain) had clearly not been the correct choice. Of course, with the Cruciatus Curse, I wasn't really sure if there _was_ a correct choice.

But it doesn't matter, I reminded myself. It's over. Done with.

The voice laughed in my head as I drifted into sleep.

An hour later, I woke from my light sleep when my brother entered the room. I blinked the tiredness from my eyes, looking blearily at what Apollo was holding in his arms. Noticing my glance, he held them up.

"Mum was worried about you," he said simply. "She whipped up this salve, for your bruises, and this potion that should reduce any pain. She didn't tell dad 'bout them either." He sat down on the end of my bed, crosslegged, and held out one of the bottles, his eyes blue eyes meeting my own. "You know, if you just hadn't-"

"I know," I interrupted, accepting the bottle and pulling out the stopper. A foul odor met my nose, like a mixture of the guys dirty socks and burning. "Ugh..." I groaned, holding it away from me. Apollo laughed.

"That's the pain potion. You have to drink that one." I gave him a look of disbelief.

"You can't be serious. Mum doesn't really expect me to drink _this_?" He gave me an expectant look and I glared at him, placing the potion in my nightstand with a shake of my head. "I don't think so. Maybe some other time. The pain isn't _that _bad." Apollo rolled his eyes and handed me the second bottle (which still smelled funny, like overripe fruit, but significantly better than the potion). I spread a little of it on the marks on my arms, but my brother rolled his eyes and grabbed the bottle back.

"You're so stupid," he told me, glopping on a whole lot more and rubbing it in gently.

"Thanks, Olly," I told him sarcastically, making no effort to take the salve back. The salve was instantly effective, soothing the aches. I winced as he applied the purple cream to the swelling on my left cheekbone, right below my eye. "All right then... next time, I'll try to not to aggravate him... as much." Apollo rolled his eyes and put the cap back on the bottle.

"Right. Well, just be careful. I've got this bad feeling that he let you off way too easy. He's got something on his mind, and whatever it is, it might not be so good for you."

"Pfft," I replied, but I didn't dare admit that I had the same feeling. Of course, there wasn't much I could hide from my twin brother. He glared at my nonchalance. "What? Argh, it's not like I can get out of it, Olly. I'm already here, at _your_ insistance; it's not like I can just bail. Same results. And anyways, whatever it is, I can handle it just fine."

"Temmy-" I cut him off with a determine scowl. He sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with me. "Fine. Fine, but still. Be careful, Temmy. Don't keep baiting him like we both know you're trying to. It'll probably end badly. For you."

"Right. I'll keep that in mind. In the meantime, I feel loads better, and I should probably go let mum know I'm still alive, hm?"

Apollo rolled his eyes and nodded. "Before she does something irrational."

He followed me down the stairs, sticking close by defensively, as if he would really jump in for me if something (or perhaps someone) attacked me. Well, I couldn't deny that his company was at least slightly more comforting than being alone. But, predictably, when my mom basically glomped me downstairs in the kitchen, where she was busily developing more potions, Apollo disappeared before I could say "EEP." Not surprised in the least, I let my mom embrace me for about five minutes, before she realized one of her potions, one I recognized as a Dreamless Sleep Potion by it's purple color, was letting off a slight vapor.

Before I could escape, she spoke to me from her many cauldrons. "So, I thought you _weren't_ dating Sirius Black." The blue eyes I had inherited from her were narrowed at me suspiciously. I sighed; I should have realized that she would confront me about Sirius too, in her own way.

"I _wasn't_, but now I am. Don't see why it matters so much."

She smiled at me. "Well, if he weren't a blood traitor, and if _you_ weren't a blood traitor, perhaps it wouldn't. Unfortunately, you refuse to see the world on the same level as the rest of your family, so..." She shrugged, giving the purple potion one last stir and putting out the flames beneath it. Coming back over to me where I leaned against the wall (near to the door in case I got a chance to flee), she placed a gentle hand on the bruise on my face, looking sad at my stubborn pout. "You're so like you're great aunt Diane. A blood traitor if our family ever saw one, but so loved at the same time. Willing to fight, and stand up for herself."

"And what's wrong with that?" I asked defensively, scowling at her as she shifted attention to a green potion that I didn't recognize which was boiling rapidly.

"Normally? Nothing. But in these days, it can be a very dangerous attitude to have. As Di herself proved." My mother looked up at me sadly. "Artemis... I just don't want you to end up like her."

I frowned, knowing what she meant, but refusing to acknowledge it. For some reason, it even made me a little angry. "What? Loved by everyone? Surrounded by people she cares about and loves? Dying for a cause she believed in?"

"Dead," my mother snapped, silencing me with the anger that Lucretia Gaunt very rarely displayed. "I don't want my beautiful daughter, blood traitor or not, _dead_. And mixing yourself up with the friends that you keep, dating Sirius Black, maintaining this stubbornly pro-Muggle attitude... you _will_ be. I know that it's your life to live, Artemis; I know you get to make your own choices, get to date whoever you want, be friends with whoever you want. I'm not trying to make your decisions for you; I'm just asking you to _think_ about them. Just _consider_ the consequences of your actions. And the effects those actions have on everyone else." And with these final words, a point to the door, and a distinct look that told me our conversation was _over_, she sent me from the kitchen, leaving her to concoct her potions in peace, and leaving me to do exactly what she'd said.

As the days wore on and Christmas crept slowly closer, I did everything in my power to avoid _everyone_. And it was proving impossibly difficult.

My father (who always seemed to be waiting right around the corner), always ready to go off on me for any misstep at all and to taunt me with the fact that he was currently in possession of my wand, was the worst. Therefore, he was the one I tried hardest to avoid. An encounter with him almost assuredly resulted in another minor bruise or other injury to add to my collection.

My mother, on the other hand, inspired guilt. Everytime she saw me, her look of disappointment was almost enough to bring tears to my eyes (I honestly hadn't thought I'd valued her opinion and feelings for me so much; turns out I did). She seemed to know without asking that I'd thought about what she'd said-and came up with the same conclusion I'd come to before: I'd rather be happy and dead than friendless and alive. And anyways, it was too late to switch sides. Everyone already knew I was a blood traitor; they'd know something was up if I came back acting like someone else entirely.

My brother actually proved to be the hardest one to avoid, though that may have been because I didn't really try too hard to do so. In fact, after a day had passed, I discovered that hanging out with my brother in his room, or outside in the snow, proved to be a much more effective strategy in avoiding my parents. (My parents had no reason to bother Apollo; since I was constantly with him, it seemed they also had no reason to bother me. It was a lot easier than sneaking around the place trying not to run into anyone else.)

The only actual time that everyone was together was during dinner (most of the time cooked by me, since I didn't really have much to do and my mum had her potions to brew). Years ago, my mother had declared that dinner would be held as a family, since we never really had any "family time" to speak of. Of course, to me, it was a time to be dreaded. Usually, my father was in a bad mood, my mother was falsely cheerful (or maybe she actually _was_ happy?), and my brother and I chatted about what was going on at school, or what we'd been doing as we lounged around the house.

These days, the dinner table was completely silent. I didn't speak unless spoken to, trying to heed the warnings of Apollo and my mum. My brother and mother couldn't possibly be truly cheery anymore; they continuously looked from my father to me to their plates in a cycle, all nerves. It was probably the most awkward I'd ever felt in my own house before. And it certainly didn't get any better as the days wore on.

As to the mysterious guests my father had referenced in his letter: he absolutely refused to say who and when they were coming. Just that they'd show up when they showed up and to butt out if I knew what was good for me. Which I did.

Finally Christmas Eve came. The morning dawned bright, and my mother charged me with preparing our dinner while she worked and my father went about his own business. Shockingly, my brother volunteered to help me, pointing out that without my wand the task would probably take all day long. So Apollo got to work with his wand, and I set about cutting vegetables in a very muggle fashion.

I was halfway through the potatoes before I accidentally cut myself (yup, that's why I typically use my wand). I cursed angrily as the metal bit into my skin, red blood staining its silver.

"You should be more careful, Artemis Gaunt; muggle ways of doing things can be so... dangerous..." the high voice said, sounding quite thrilled at the sight of my blood.

Fuck off, I told it forcefully. Beside me, my brother froze, presumably at the amount of blood now gushing from my palm.

"It seems you could do well to learn a little... respect."

And I realized: the voice was lacking its usual airy, vague, back of the head feel. It didn't sound so... unreal. Which could only mean one thing. I whirled around to face the origin of the voice I'd been hearing all these months, almost falling over myself due to my momentum but catching myself at the last minute. Only to stagger back into the counter behind me anyways. The bowl full of the potatoes I'd been cutting clattered to the floor, but I didn't care.

I'd heard of him. Of course I had: the fear he inspired, his horrid cruelty. It was all part of my life in some way or another. But seeing him here, right in front of me, in my own kitchen no less, was thousands of times more frightening than any of the stories. His scarlet eyes seemed to peer into my soul from the stretch of his ghost white skin. His nose was flattened and slitted, looking more like a snake than a man, and his thin lips were twisted up into a horrible grin. His long fingers were curled around his wand, and he was giving me the chance to take him in before cursing me.

Or maybe this time he would kill me? He'd tried multiple times to get me to kill myself through what was clearly was the Blood Bond Apollo and I had researched many months ago. So maybe he'd finally decided to come get rid of his blood traitor cousin (first cousin once removed, to be technical) before she escaped back to Hogwarts (the only place, it was rumored, that he was afraid to go).

I swallowed, only barely able to stop the fearful squeak, trying to think of what I should do, knowing every second spent debating was costing me my escape.

_You can't escape..._ he told me quietly; but his lips didn't move. It was in my head; _he _was in my head. He could see everything, and, suddenly, he was in everything. Every thought, every memory, everywhere I looked: he was there. Omnipresent and powerful and relentless.

It was just like when I'd stabbed my arm: everything went black around me as I panicked, a yell, my yell, echoing in the back of my mind, echoing off the woodpaneled walls of the kitchen.

"Get out!" I screamed, closing my eyes (though I couldn't see anyways) and covering my ears, as though by blocking the Dark Lord from my reality I could break his magic, could repel him from my mind. "Get out, get out, GET OUT!"

Voldemort laughed, high and cold, and a wave of pain hit me, greater even than when I'd broken my nose playing Quidditch. My yell changed mid-"GET" to a high scream. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like eternity; my eyes snapped open as the pain faded. Everything was crystal clear now: my brother's ice blue eyes were frosty; I could see every grain of the wood paneling reflected in them. His warm arm around my waist (the only thing keeping me standing at this point) felt like solid ice. He seemed to notice that my limbs had turned to figurative jelly, because his other arm soon joined the first in keeping me upright. We both turned to Voldemort, expectantly awaiting his next curse. He just laughed again.

At that moment, the kitchen door burst open, and I couldn't decide if I was horrified or glad to see my parents enter (probably drawn by my scream).

"Ah, my-my Lord!" my father said, bringing his hands together nervously as he took in the scene. "Y-you've arrived! And you've found them, too. What would you like-"

"Lock her in the basement. I'll deal with her later."

My father's expression brightened considerably, no longer bearing any trace of nervousness. Apparently, Lord Voldemort was the expected guest. "Excellent, Lord. I'll do that now." And ignoring the confused expressions of my brother and mother, my father took me away from my brother, dragging me by my hair for the second time that week, down the stairs, down to the basement, down into darkness.

I've always hated the basement. With its cold stone walls, and its tiny little windows (windows too small and too high up to actually do anything with), it always reminded me of being buried alive.

But at this point, being buried alive would probably be preferable to being upstairs with Lord Voldemort himself. Actually, _really_ being buried alive would probably be better than being within ten miles of the place at the moment. After all, I was locked in the basement, presumably so that: one, I couldn't escape; two, they could torture and kill me. Or something like that. I couldn't Disapparate, due to the charms my parents had cast on the place to prevent such a thing. What made the situation so much better (ha, sarcasm!) was that my own father was just giving me to Voldemort, even knowing that I would probably end up dead.

Okay, maybe it wasn't so unbelievable. After all, he did pretty much loathe me. But giving up his only daughter to be slaughtered? That was a lot lower than I thought he'd ever sink. My mother was the only thing that stopped him from losing his temper and killing me himself, but she'd looked as surprised as me to find Lord Voldemort in her kitchen. Surprised, and afraid.

I guess my father had finally found a way to work around my mother, to get rid of his blood traitor Gryffindor daughter and have the blame be on someone other than him. Well, good for him; but _I_ was in trouble. What had Voldemort meant by "deal with her"? Kill me? Torture me? Interrogate me? What did I have? What use was I to the great Lord Voldemort?

I sighed, looking around for what seemed like the millionth time. As if some escape route I had never seen in all my years living here would appear out of nowhere. Predictably, none did. I could probably have fit through the window... except I was much too short to reach. The rest of the basement was underground, so blowing up the wall (or something equally aggressive) wouldn't be wise at all. The only door was shut and locked. And I had no wand.

So... I was screwed. Royally. I'm not one to give up, but I know when I can win. And I can't win right now. So the best thing to do would be to bide my time, wait it out, and do anything I could to survive. But even that wouldn't work.

Because not only was Voldemort renowned for his use of Legilimency, he had the added advantage of the Blood Bond he had created between us (Merlin only knows when or how). Voldemort could read my every thought. If only I'd studied Occlumency more, learned to block Legilimens, maybe I'd stand a chance. Something about clearing your mind. _That_ was quite impossible to do, with all my questions, my fears, my failed attempts at thinking up an escape running through my mind.

Of course, this would all be easier if I knew what it was that he wanted with me. I was basically just a typical seventeen year old witch. What use could I possibly be to him, except maybe as some form of entertainment? Some new toy to torture until he found something newer. Or maybe he really did just want to kill me. Just to prove that there were no exceptions to his victims.

Stop it, I told myself angrily, shaking my head. Thinking this way isn't helping me. I need to focus. Find a way out of this situation.

Just then, the door opened, so silently that I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't been facing it. There he stood, scarlet eyes narrowed, thin lips curled into an evil smile. Wordlessly, he waved his wand, and I cringed, awaiting the flash of green of a Killing Curse. Instead, there was a thud behind me. Glancing back quickly, I couldn't help but gape at it.

It was a chair.

A very ordinary looking chair at that. Realizing I wasn't being very smart, being dumbfounded a chair, I turned back to Voldemort. He gestured at the chair as if inviting me to sit. I just stared at him, suspicious. The chair probably wasn't as ordinary as it looked. And anyways, if I had a choice in the matter, I'd rather be standing.

"Sit," he commanded when he realized I didn't plan on sitting on the chair he'd been oh-so-kind enough to create for me. His order did what I myself wouldn't. A force like a wave knocked me backwards into the chair. In fact, it nearly knocked the chair itself over. It was at a forty-five degree angle when it caught itself, repositioning itself (and me) upright as ropes materialized and tightened around my wrists and ankles. Bound to the chair.

Well, that was just great. At least I wasn't dead. Yet.

For the next five minutes, Voldemort and I just stared at each other. Even though my life was probably on the line here, I knew I appeared stubborn, my lips pursed tightly, my eyes narrowed slightly, my breathing slightly faster than usual. He, however, was extremely difficult to read. That same smile stayed on his face as he slowly walked around me, fiddling with his wand, looking as though he were appraising my value. As if I was some purchase he wanted, but wasn't sure he could use. Junk that may still have one use left in it.

And as much as the look bothered me, there wasn't really much I could do about it. After all, what was I going to say? "_Hey Voldemort, stop looking at me like I'm property, cause I'm not._" Yeah, that would turn out well. Anyways, whatever "value" he judged me at probably decided whether I lived or died. So instead, I just maintained my stubborn glare.

Which didn't appear to be what he wanted. He raised his wand, seeming to come to the worst conclusion, and I closed my eyes, thinking this was really it this time, waiting for the Killing Curse to end my life.

It was excrutiating. The spell hit me full in the chest, and for a second I actually was pretty sure I was dead. But a second later I realized he'd tricked me again as pain spread through my entire body. As the pain faded, I wondered vaguely if this was what a Muggle felt when they were electrocuted (Mira had told me all about electricity, back in first year). Except they probably didn't have to listen to Voldemort's laughter afterwards.

But I wasn't dead. That was a plus, right?

I tried desprately to slow my breathing, stop panting. Voldemort just kept laughing. And it was making me angry. What was so bloody funny anyways? If he was going to kill me, why the bloody hell didn't he just get it over with. But he hit me with another "_Crucio_," and another one right after. Laughing, and laughing, and laughing some more while I screamed or tried to recover.

"What do you want from me?" I panted, after about the tenth time, before he could use the curse again. But it didn't even seem to faze him; he ignored me completely and cast the spell anyways. When the pain faded, I changed my question. "What do you want from _us_?" I could see the spell on his tongue, but I carried on anyways, "Why do you do this? Torture and kill? What are you after?"

I didn't expect him to stop, didn't even really think he was listening to me. To my surprise, he burst out in another round of laughter. And then cursed me again.

When the pain went away, I was even more surprised to hear him answer.

"Immortality," Voldemort breathed.

I was dumbfounded. "Immortality? At the cost of all that life... how ironic," I said with a thoughtful smile (it wasn't funny. but for some reason, I couldn't keep the smile from my face). "But why? What use is immortality when anyone you care about would be gone?"

I must have forgotten who I was talking to. Clearly, because Voldemort laughed and laughed. As if the idea of loved ones was a joke.

"Accomplishment!" he snapped, his laughter ending as he came closer. "The ability to bring my every dream and goal to fruition. To live forever in a world I can create through fear. And to eliminate the entire Muggle population. That's just a few reasons. You can't tell me that you don't see it. That you don't have something, some goal or dream that you would trade every life of everyone you knew to accomplish. You can't lie to me, Artemis Gaunt," he hissed, drawing closer, his face maybe two inches from my own, meeting my eyes with his scarlet. "I can see inside you. I can see everything. I can help you. You only have to join me. Work for me. Do everything that I ask, and you can have everything you've ever dreamed of."

I stared at him. In utter disbelief. Was he asking me to be a Death Eater? One of his horrible servants? The very group who had killed my Great Aunt Di, my uncle Charles and cousin Zach. Who tortured Muggles and ran rampant across the world spreading despair. This time, even though I knew it would bring me pain, knew that I was basically asking for death, I laughed.

"Well, since you put that way, let me just say this: You, My Lord," I spat, "are probably going to be facing quite the bad karma in the remainder of your not-so-immortal lifetime, and I for one want no part of it. You... can torture me, even kill me, but I... will never, _ever_ join you! So go ahead, kill me. Knock me out of the picture. But just remember, _Tom Riddle_, that no matter how many obstacles you knock out of the way on your quest for _immortality_, others will just keep popping up. So, sorry, I guess. But you're going to lose, mate." And I laughed.

I wasn't at all surprised when the pain hit. Actually, I'd almost expected him to just kill me instead. But now it was my turn to laugh: so I did. I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Voldemort didn't seem to find me as funny as I'd found him. In fact, he was infuriated. I could feel it through the Blood Bond. And even though I knew that any chance I'd had of surviving the encounter had dropped from Very Slim down to None, I have to admit that I was pleased with myself. At least I'd gone out with a bang. Sort of.

Miraculously, though, I was still alive for now; locked in my room, but alive nonetheless. I lay in my soft bed, staring up at the ceiling while my enitre body throbbed painfully from the torturing. I sighed and groaned as I pulled my body into a small ball.

"Fuck," I sighed to myself, wondering how I'd gotten myself into this mess and how I was going to get myself out of it. Frankly, I was very lucky to be in my room and not locked in the basement, cold and starving to death. I reckoned my brother and mother had something to do with that, but I still considered myself very fortunate. Staring at the sky blue color of my bedroom wall, I again tried to think of a way, any way, to escape. "Fuck," I said again when I came to the same conclusion: there was none.

But there had to be; if I didn't get out, I wouldn't last through Christmas break. Come on, I told myself firmly, _think_! I knew this house better than him; I knew the surrounding lands, I had to know some way out of here. Cursing myself for not being more of a sneaky child when I was younger and still had the chance, I stretched out again, feeling my muscles complain angrily at me. Think, think...

Still nothing. "Fuck," I growled a third time, narrowing my eyes at my ceiling. "Why the bloody hell is this happening to me?"

Because you're fucking stupid and you didn't stay with Sirius, I answered myself mentally. If you had any brains at all, you'd focus on getting out of this mess and not worrying about how it happened.

Now _focus_!

But it did me no good. I had no way out. It was like my father had been preparing for this day since the day I was born: The No-Apparate charms, the cold depressing basement, the small windows, and my second floor bedroom, as well as never letting me keep my own broomstick in my room (he forced me to keep it in the downstairs closet). I was trapped. And sooner or later, I'd also be dead.

The next day progressed exactly the same: I was escorted by my gleeful father to the basement, and fed a meager breakfast, lunch, dinner between torturing. As my father escorted me back to my bedroom that night, I caught sight of my brother, who mouthed "Merry Christmas" sadly while my father wasn't looking. I almost laughed, but barely held it in. Merry Christmas, indeed, I thought to myself, giving Apollo a sad smile in thanks.

It was the day after Christmas that I got a surprise: Voldemort had departed on business for the day (you can just imagine the kind), leaving my father to do his dirty work. Luckily (and I'm not really sure if I'm being sarcastic or not, funnily enough), Voldemort came back in the middle of the day, resuming where my father had left off. But Voldemort I wasn't afraid to talk to. Since, you know, I'd already signed my own death warrant (in other words: even though I didn't want to die, I'd kind of accepted that Voldemort was going to kill me).

"So, I've been thinking," I panted, "about what you said. About immortality." Voldemort kept his wand raised, but he seemed to imply that I should continue. "I don't understand how killing all those people gets you immortality. What do they have to do with each other? How does it work?"

Voldemort laughed (which I'd expected him to) and lowered his wand, coming to stand before me (which I'd not expected him to). He took my chin in his long pale fingers, forcing me to look at him.

"Do you know what happens to the soul when one commits a murder?" he asked quietly, a cold smile on his thin lips. I shook my head (as much as I could with him grasping my chin, anyways). He laughed. "And that is why you couldn't possibly understand. I could kill you right now, you know; I could kill you without a single regret."

"Then why don't you?" I asked, the sound coming out more as a breath. Voldemort cackled, raising his wand and pointing it straight between my eyes.

"You'd rather die then? All you have to do is beg; beg, Artemis, beg for death. I'd be all too happy to give it to you..."

My eyes widened and my breath caught in fear. Would I rather die? Merlin, no! I'd rather live! And anyways, there was no way I was going to _beg_ Voldemort to kill me. I wasn't going to lose my dignity right here at the end. He was trying to break me. For some reason or another, he was trying to break down my resolve. Maybe he'd thought of some other use for me; or maybe he just wanted to get as much entertainment out of me as possible. But if that was the case, if he was trying to bring me down mentally, he was going fail miserably. I wasn't going to give in.

Voldemort seemed to draw my answer from my silence, or perhaps he just read my thoughts; either way, the pain hit me full on in the face.

If only they knew, I thought dully, wondering why I hadn't really pondered it before as the pain receded and my agonized scream died. If only my friends knew where I was, the hell that Voldemort was putting me through. But then, what would they do? I asked myself, panting even as the wand was raised against me once again.

No, it was better that they had no clue. Better that they lived in happy bliss with their families while I suffered, even for this short period of time. After all, this was Voldemort we were talking about. Any attempt at rescue would just result in more pain and suffering.

So it was good that they didn't know, I told myself wearily as the pain tore through me once again, another scream escaping me. Because they didn't know, they couldn't get hurt, and that was just fine with me. It didn't matter that I was enduring such pain and torture; it was worth it as long as they were safe.

I clenched my teeth together, cutting off the scream midway, even though the pain was still horrendous. His high cold laugh echoed off the bare walls now that it had no yell to cover it; my pain was causing him amusement, but I was done being his entertainment. No one was coming to rescue me; no one knew I needed rescuing. But I could picture the way their expressions would be if they knew.

It's not so bad, I told them with an anguished smile, trying to erase the horrified looks on the faces in my mind. It hardly hurts at all; you get used to it, I lied. No problem. There's no need to cry over it; it's not going away, but it's not so bad, really. Besides, I'm not going to give him the pleasure. He thinks I'm weak, but we know better, right? I'm stronger than I look. I can deal with this.

It was all I could do to keep telling myself that.

But the longer this went on, the more the anger started to rise. Why _couldn't_ my friends help me? What was stopping them? _I _was the one tied up; _I _was the one being _tortured_! And where were they? All cozied up with their families, as if I didn't even exist. As if I wasn't important to them. Wasn't I? Did they care for me?

_Of course not,_ the voice in my head insisted. Voldemort smiled. _What are friends but people who want from you? Who want to change you? If they truly cared about you, then where are they now? Why aren't they here?_

Another clenched scream, more anger building up. Anger and frustration at myself as well as my friends.

But it wasn't my fault, another, more grounded voice told me. And my friends couldn't help me without knowing where I was and what was happening. No, all of this was Voldemort's fault. He was the one who deserved the anger. He was the one I should direct my frustrations at.

Three more days passed, and I spent most of it going between being furious that I had no one to rescue me and being glad that I wasn't causing any of my school friends troubles. My jaw ached from clenching it so tightly for so long, along with every other muscle in my body. Voldemort's cold laughter was actually hurting my ears, and each second spent here was increasingly hellish. But I still had nowhere to go.

And then, a happy break came along: Voldemort again vanished, on some sort of sinister business of his. And instead of my father, my brother was the one who entered.

I was in shock. Apollo was going to torture me now? I could understand my father; he'd hated me since I was eleven and I'd certainly given him no reason _not _to. But Apollo?

But then I realized that my brother wasn't supposed to be here: not only could I feel his anxiety and fear, but I could see it on his face, in the way he kept glancing at the door as he quickly walked to my chair. I opened my mouth to ask him what he was doing, why he was doing it, and tell him to get out before he got caught, but Apollo silenced me with a look as he pulled his wand from his pocket. Without a word, the bindings of the chair receded, and Apollo grabbed my arm and pulled me up roughly, still glancing around nervously. He began dragging me towards the door, and it occured to me that he was attempting to rescue me.

I pulled him to a stop and hissed, "What are you doing, Apollo?" before he could silence me again. Apollo rolled his eyes, huffed, and glared at me.

"What the bloody hell does it look like, Temmy?" He tugged my arm, but I stopped him again.

"But he'll know it was you! Apollo, he'll _kill_ you! I can't let you..."

"You dummy, I know that!" Apollo snapped impatiently, tugging again hard enough to get me to the door. "That's why we're both going. Now come on, before he gets back, or before Dad shows up."

I stared at my brother for a second before nodding and allowing myself to be hauled from the room and down the hallway. Up the stairs, a short turn right, and an instant step back into the shadows.

Showing great skill in Divination, my brother had accurately predicted my father coming down the next hallway; or perhaps Apollo was just good at cursing us. Either way, my brother and I pressed into the darkness of the small side-hallway where my father reluctantly allow my mother to display her sarcophagus (long story. Maybe I'll tell you sometime) as my father walked passed and down the stairs. When he was out of sight, my brother cursed and pushed me out and down the hall towards the door. And then turned down the passage leading directly away from it.

Confused, I stopped, looking at Apollo questioningly only to receive another curse.

"Temmy, we don't have time for this! Do you really want to go all the way across the yard, _in plain view_? Just trust me, Artemis! Any minute, Dad's-"

Well, at this point, Apollo's words were drowned out by my father's furious scream, and it was quite obvious what my father was. With no further explanation, my brother began dragging me rapidly down the hall; of course, at this point, the dragging wasn't entirely necessary. We were halfway down the hall when the first spell knocked me flat on my face. Fortunately for me, it wasn't the Killing Curse, or even the Cruciatus Curse. All it did was knock me over and take my breath away. My brother, who had stopped and turned to try to help me back up, wasn't so lucky. He hit his knees, his scream tearing at my ears more than my own ever had.

"Stop it!" I screamed, lunging toward my twin, not able to bear the sight of him: his writhing and his screaming were doing more to torture me than my week of hell had. The spell abated, but I still clung to my brother, afraid to turn to face my father, afraid to release Apollo in case my father attacked him again. Instead, I closed my eyes tight and held my brother tighter, waiting for another curse. No curse hit me, though there was a sharp _zzzing _and the smell of burning hair as the spell was deflected. I looked over my brother's head at my mother.

Her beauty was astounding in her fury. At least, she'd never looked more beautiful to me than right now. Wand raised, back straight and proud, long black hair down around her shoulders, and her ice blue eyes shining with ire, she looked ready to kick some ass. A flick of her head told me that she wanted me to move, and _now_. With no hesitation, my brother and I were out of her way as quickly as possible. As my hobbling brother and I passed her, she muttered, "Go, quickly. To the Potters'. I'll catch up."

Ignoring my confusion this time, I nodded, assured by her fiery eyes.

"Move, Lucretia," my father warned in a quiet but commanding tone. I can only assume, since I was focused on getting down the hallway to the door with my fatigued self and recovering brother, that she didn't, since the next thing my father said was "You know she can't be allowed to leave. If we let her go... the Dark Lord will kill all of us. Now move."

My mother made an indignant noise, and there was another _zzzing_ as someone tried to cast on the other. "Then our lives, our blood, will be on your hands, Marcus."

He growled, then screamed, "You can't take them from me! They don't belong to you! You think you can just take them away? They're _mine_! _MINE_!" Another curse deflected, more angry screams and curses. I resisted the urge to turn and look; we were almost to the door.

"I should have taken them a long time ago," my mother responded angrily. "I should have listened to Aunt Di when she told me what she knew you were capable of. She said you would be the end of Artemis all along. I guess I just didn't believe... that you could kill your own daughter," she hissed, speaking through the sound of combat. I could reach it now; my fingers were an inch away...

"Artemis!" my father screamed, ignoring my mother completely now, sounding almost like he had before he hated me, like he had when I thought he'd cared. Maybe that was why I turned around, or maybe it was because I just wanted to see him one last time, even as much as I hated him.

The last thing I saw before his curse hit me full in the face was his lifeless body dropping to the floor.


	25. Somewhere Safe

((A/N: Oh. My. Goodness. Firstly, I'd like to apologize for the EXTREMELY long gap in my updates. I won't burden you with my excuses, but I feel like a horrible person. So I'm sorry! Secondly, I'd like to thank anyone who still reads and reviews my stories. It's greatly appreciated! Anyways, the wait has been long enough, so I hope you enjoy Chapter 24!))

I was getting so very tired of seeing black, I thought dully in the back of my head; however, there were certainly more important things on my mind. Like perhaps the fact that I seemed to be blind. That seemed important, right? Was I unconscious?

No, I was still upright. And anyways, I could hear my brother cursing loudly next to me still, now supporting me instead of the other way around. He seemed to have recovered enough from my father's curse. My mother's soft voice joined in, asking if I was all right, if I was in any pain. But, other than the fact that I couldn't see, nothing felt wrong. I told her so, but she seemed the opposite of relieved as my brother led us through the door I'd been trying to open when my father had cursed me.

My father... the thought of him brought back what I'd almost forgotten when everything went dark. My father... had been killed by his own wife, by my mother herself. She'd never really had much of a temper. But I guess everyone has to snap sometime. At the moment, though, it was shocking; my mother? And my father?

I felt a chair beneath me and thankfully sank into it, only to jump back up when my mother snapped, "No! We don't have time for rest; we can rest when we're somewhere safe. Your father... may have somehow contacted You-Know-Who. We need to leave, and quickly. Artemis, are you sure-"

"I'm fine, mum," I insisted, nodding blindly where I thought she was. My brother gently turned my head to my mother's direction.

"Nice job reassuring her, Temmy," he sighed. "But... where are we going?" he asked, turning his attention back to my mother.

My mother paused where she was rummaging through her potions cabinet, then returned to her searching. "Somewhere safe," she replied, "somewhere he won't follow. Think of the first place you would go; and then go somewhere else. Apollo, dear, find the Floo Powder."

"But Mother, what's the hurry? Father's gone, and You-Know-Who-"

"Will probably be here soon," I interrupted. "Trust me, Olly, always assume the worst when it comes to this stuff; things turn out much better that way." I could almost feel Apollo's rolling eyes, definitely heard him huff loudly and go off to find the pot of Floo Powder.

My mother, meanwhile, seemed to find whatever she'd been searching for. I felt her hand on mine, placing a warm vial in my hand, roughly the size of a small lemon. Then her hands were on my face, turning my head up towards the light, probably appraising the damage.

"I'm so sorry, Artemis," she muttered, caressing my cheek with her soft hands. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you. And that I didn't have the courage to do what I should have done in the very beginning." She sighed, long and slow, then patted my head and left me again. "That potion should restore your sight, but it needs to be drank at midnight, outside beneath the moon, next to the tallest tree you can find."

I nodded, then paused. "But how can I see which-" I cut myself off, or rather the overwhelming anger in my head cut me off; Voldemort had arrived, and there was no more time for chatting as my brother cried, "AHA!"

"Excellent. Artemis, you go first. Go where I told you to, and stay there. Find a way to contact Dumbledore." The way that my mother was talking, quickly, urgently, implied that she knew the sudden criticality of our situation. "Apollo, you follow her; she's going to need your help."

"And you'll be right behind us?" I asked her as she shunted my brother and I towards the fireplace.

"Yes," she said. "Now go," she insisted, thrusting my hand into the pot and ensuring I got a decent handful.

So I went.~~~

James and Sirius were unusually quiet today: instead of doing something loud and rambunctious, they were sitting in James' parents living room playing chess. And as much as this shocked James' parents, James and Sirius had their reasons.

Sirius was in no normal mood. He was worried. Certainly too worried to focus on trivial things. In fact, he was hardly paying attention to the game, and he was astonished he hadn't lost already. As it was, James was quickly becoming disinterested, more concerned about Sirius than about winning the game; and Sirius? Well, Sirius was too worried about Artemis to worry about anything else.

She hadn't been responding to his letters. As a matter of fact, Sirius hadn't heard from her since that day at King's Cross. Was she ignoring him? Sirius had a feeling that that wasn't the case: Something was wrong. But Sirius had no idea what to do about it. So instead, he sat around playing chess with James.

After about an hour with no winner, the pair finally gave in. James had just opened his mouth to console his friend for what felt like the hundredth time when something flew out of the fireplace and into the suit of armor James' father had seen fit to place there. The clattering was enough to have both wizards on their feet, wands drawn, in less than a second. With a look between them, they crept forward together, wands pointed at the moaning creature; and then they recognized the dark black hair and slender limbs.

"Artemis," Sirius gasped, jamming his wand back inside of his pocket as he leapt to her side.

"S-Sirius?" she stuttered as he wrapped her in his arms, looking relieved. But something seemed off about her. Something was different. Looking at her closely over Sirius' shoulder, James though he knew what: her ice blues eyes focused on nothing as she nestled into Sirius' neck. Slowly, James reached out a hand, waving it back and forth before here eyes. She didn't respond.

"Oh, Merlin," James muttered, taking a step back. "She can't s-"

A second someone stumbled out of the fireplace, colliding with James and sending both of them to the ground. For a second, both of them were too surprised to move; but then Apollo Gaunt seemed to realize that he should get off of James. He stood and brushed himself off, then reached out a hand to James.

"Sorry, Potter." He started to go to his sister, but James grabbed his arm.

"What are you doing here?" James asked, glaring at him. "And what's wrong with Ar? Why can't she see?"

Apollo looked slowly to his sister. "Artemis?" Artemis' eyes focused slightly, turning towards the sound. "You still have the potion?" She nodded, opening her hand to reveal small blue vial their mother had given her. Apollo looked back to James. "Her eyes will be fine. I'd be more worried about her mind."

"There's nothing wrong with my mind," she said stubbornly as Sirius finally let her draw back slightly so he could see her properly. "I'm fine."

Apollo snorted. "You are not fine! You've been tortured for the past week. You're anything but fine!"

Both James and Sirius looked from Apollo's frustrated face to Artemis' stubborn one. "T-tortured?" Sirius whispered, looking at Artemis guiltily. She gave a curt nod. "I knew it! I knew you shouldn't have gone home. I knew something was up when you just up and changed your mind like that!" Artemis grimaced and looked at the floor, but this just seemed to make Sirius even angrier. "You knew that too, didn't you? You knew something bad was going to happen, but you went home anyways!" He shook his head at her angrily, looking more like he wanted to strangle her. "You are so stupid!" he yelled, standing up and starting for the door.

Artemis, however, did not seem to take kindly to being referred to as such. She got to her feet as well, pointing where she probably thought that he was but was actually too far to the left and much too high. "You think I knew this was going to happen? How the bloody hell would I be expected to know that Lord-Fucking-Voldemort was going to show up at my house on Christmas Eve? How was I supposed to know that my father would just hand me over to him? You bloody arse!"

"I'm on you're right, you dumbass!"

James sighed and automatically tuned them out, turning his attention to Apollo, who looked rather alarmed. "Oh, don't worry about them," James told him with an exasperated shake of the head. "That's pretty much typical. Anyways, you never really answered my question. Why are you here?"

Apollo seemed to accept James' statement; he stopped watching the two arguing and turned to face James. "I helped her escape. I couldn't very well just stay. He would have killed me. But..." He paused, glancing at Artemis again with a small smile. "I couldn't watch her be in so much pain. She says she's fine, but you and I both know: you don't get tortured by Lord Voldemort for a whole week and come out completely sane."

"I guess..." James looked at her too; at the moment she appeared to be pulling out some of her hair in fury as Sirius slammed the door shut behind him. She took a deep breath, then stopped as if remembering something.

"Apollo? Where's mum?" she asked softly, as if already knowing the answer. Apollo froze then looked down. Slowly, he shook his head. Of course, Artemis couldn't see this, but she seemed to draw the answer from his silence anyway. In any case, her eyes widened and she fell to her knees, looking shocked, and then looking distraught and shaking her head rapidly. "No, no, she can't be! She said... she said she'd be right behind us..."

Apollo sighed and knelt next to her; James was right behind him. "Artemis..."

James thought for sure that she was about to start crying. When she looked up, however, it was with a sad smile on her face. "Overprotective and overaffectionate to the very end. Are you... are you sure she's dead?"

Apollo nodded, placing a hand on her back and rubbing it consolingly. "Yes... he reached the kitchen right as I left. I saw..." He went silent, watching the waterworks start. To James' surprise, though, it was his shoulder she started crying on. Apollo just continued rubbing her back, looking thoughtful. "We need to contact Dumbledore," he said finally, staring across his sister's head at James. "I think it's best if she just stays here with you, given her state."

"I'm fine," Artemis said, but it was muffled by James shoulder, so the two men decided to ignore it.

"I'll go back to Hogwarts," Apollo continued, as if he'd never been interrupted. "I'll see if Dumbledore's there. If he's not, I'm sure someone will know where he is. Just... take care of her."

James looked down at Artemis' tangled black hair on his shoulder. Then he looked back at Apollo and nodded. Apollo smiled at him, and for a second the two felt like friends; but the moment was quickly over as Apollo got to his feet. "She needs to take that potion at midnight, under the moon and next to the tallest tree in the area, to get her sight back." James nodded again. "Take good care of her," Apollo muttered, looking down at his sister again; then he turned on the spot, vanishing into thin air.

Leaving James feeling relatively awkward with Artemis still crying on his shoulder. For a few minutes, James wasn't sure what to do. So he just patted her back and let her cry. Eventually, he said, "Don't worry, Ar. Everything will be all right. And... Well, don't worry about Sirius either; he's just really relieved. He's been so worried all week."

Artemis sniffled and nodded, pulling back and smiling at James. "S-sorry, James. I-I didn't mean to cry all over you..."

James grinned. "Not to worry! What are friends for? I'm just... I'm curious, Ar: Why'd you cry on my shoulder? 'Stead of your brother's?"

"Huh? Oh, well... see, Apollo's all for comforting me when I'm feeling down, but he says me crying just makes him want to hex me," Artemis said brightly. James stared at her for a second, then smiled and shook his head in amazement. The two were so... strange, but he could tell they cared about each other. Just like Sirius and Artemis.

Speaking of Sirius...

Sirius burst back into the room, almost as loudly as he'd gone out. He paused when he saw James and Artemis kneeling on the floor together, then looked around for Apollo. He seemed to decide it didn't matter much, however, as he came and joined the two on the floor, a huge grin on his face.

"I've found it!" he exclaimed simply. When James and Artemis continued to stare at him blankly, he just rolled his eyes, his grin unfaltering. "The tallest tree!" he explained. "That's where you need to drink that potion of yours, right? Well, I've found it!"

James beamed at him. "Excellent, Pads! See, Ar, everything's going to be fine!"

Artemis sniffed loudly a couple times, then threw herself onto Sirius. Tears had begun pouring from her eyes again. "You're such an arse!" she bawled. Sirius just grinned and held his girlfriend close to him.~~~

The snow crunched under my feet as we walked, the only thing besides the biting cold against my face that gave me a clue as to the winter weather. Of course, my friends were not nearly as deprived as I; they had already ensured that I was bundled in at least fifteen layers of clothing before we'd left James'.

Then again, all the layers at least provided a good deal of cushioning for when I collided with... well, just about everything.

"Aha!" Sirius said at last. "Here we are."

"Really?" I asked skeptically. "It sounds awfully... busy." And indeed, it did: the sounds of late night Muggle life was all around us. Their loud metal cars roaring nearby, the humming of the electric lights that Mira had tried to explain to me, the sounds of people walking nearby.

"Yeah, well, sod off. It's not exactly where I pictured it either, but this is the tallest tree for at least a few miles. So shut up and deal with it," Sirius ordered, punching my upper arm playfully. I tried to punch him back-

And missed completely. I sighed. "I really hope this stuff works. My mum... she was a genius with potions, but... she was in a hurry..."

Neither James nor Sirius answered me; whether that was because they were too busy arguing whether this tree was the tallest or the one across the way was, or because they just didn't want to contemplate such a situation was beyond me.

I sighed again. "What time is it?" The two paused in their argument.

"Eleven twenty-three," one of them replied. "We've still got a little while." I nodded and reached for the tree, huffing when my hands met empty air. Someone snorted, and I had a feeling I knew which of them it was.

"Oh, sod off, Sirius! It's not my fault!"

"I know that, but you have no idea how hilarious it is to see you like this!" he laughed, but before I could rant at him, he took my hand and helped me lean against the tree without falling on my ass. I still glared in what I thought was his direction, but figured his helping me was more that I could possibly hope for in the way of an apology for laughing at me.

"Thanks," I scowled, pouting. "I'm so glad I could provide you with some entertainment." He just laughed at me some more. I huffed some more, pouting and folding my arms. For a few moments, the three of us just stood in relative silence, listening to the Muggles going about their business.

Finally: "Artemis, can you... can you tell us what happened?" James asked softly.

"James!" Sirius snapped, putting an around my shoulder and pulling me closer to him. "She doesn't want to talk about that!"

"Sirius!" James retorted. "She's going to have to talk about it sooner or later. If not now, she'll have to tell Dumbledore when he gets here." He paused for a second, and when he continued he sounded more calm than before. "Anyways, how can we help her if we're not even sure what happened to her?"

Sirius didn't seem to have a valid comeback for this, but he continued to scowl at his best friend, keeping his arm around me as if that would protect me from the harsh reality of the situation. Of course, no valid comeback seemed not to make much a difference to him, as he and James began bickering some more, this time over whether or not I should talk about what had happened to me. As for me, I let Sirius go for me; I actually didn't feel like talking to anyone about what had happened, not even Sirius and James. Thinking about it made me think about my parents, which reminded me...

No, stop thinking about it, Ar, I told myself, shutting my eyes tight and tuning out their conversation. Which was impossibly difficult to do, as they were now yelling at each other over my head. And probably attracting the attention of all the Muggles on the street. I opened my eyes again (which of course did nothing) and scowled.

"Um, guys?"

"Sirius, she has to-"

"Just shut up, James! What she needs is to-"

"Sirius! James!" I screamed. Silence. Yeah, Muggles were definitely staring now, if they hadn't already been. "You two are both arses, now would you just shut up and stop attracting attention? For Merlin's sake, we've probably attracted the attention of every bloody Muggle in the entire town, maybe even the entire country!" I pouted and put my hands in my pockets, rubbing my thumb against the smooth glass of the vial contained there. "What time is it?" I asked sourly after a few minutes of sheepish silence.

"Eleven thirty-two."

I sighed. "We got here way too early." Another awkward silence ensued. Sirius' arm was still tense around me, his breathing loud in my ear. But somehow, even through all his argument with James, I could feel his own curiosity, his concern for me, burning just below the surface.

No, I told myself again. I didn't want to think about it! I didn't want to think about how the past week had ended. I wanted to pretend that nothing had happened. And once I got my sight back, maybe I could. Once we got back to Hogwarts, it would be easy to just pretend like Christmas vacation had never happened. I squeezed my eyes shut again, burying my face in Sirius' shoulder.

I must have started to doze off, because it felt like only minutes later that Sirius was whispering in my ear, "Only two minutes left. You have the potion still, right?"

I nodded groggily, blinking the sleep from my sightless eyes and reaching into my pocket for the vial. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief in my face, but I didn't care at the moment. His breath smelled like peppermint anyways.

"All right... the moon is out, we're under the tallest tree in the town, and... it's midnight," James said, placing a hand on my arm softly. "It's time."

Sirius took the vial from me and pulled out the stopper with a pop. Then he returned it to my hand and I drank it.

It was so small that it only took a single swallow. It was pretty tasteless, though it did have a hint of mint; it was ice cold as it went down, and I shivered. The three of us waited expectantly.

"Well?" James finally said, after no response from me. "Did it work?"

I pursed my lips tightly together. "Just give it a minute," I snapped. "It'll work." I hoped. My mother had been in a rush. But... I trusted her. Besides Professor Slughorn, she was the best potions master I knew. Hell, she might even have been better. She might have been frantic, but she wouldn't have given me the potion if she hadn't been sure. "It'll work," I repeated.~~~

Two hours later, James had gone to inform his parents that I was decidedly the most stubborn person alive (i.e. to tell them that Sirius and I were still sitting underneath that stupid tree waiting for my sight to come back), Sirius was asleep on my shoulder, and I was almost ready to admit defeat and go back to James'. The cold had finally gotten through my many layers; I shivered and worried about Sirius, who had only one coat on, not fifteen.

It was time to give up, I acknowledged sadly. Before Sirius froze solid to my arm. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, willing myself to wake up Sirius and leave before we got any more pathetic than we already were at the moment. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then turned towards Sirius, opening my eyes and muttering, "Sirius, wake up." But I stopped short.

It was blurry and dim... but I could make out Sirius' head of shaggy black hair against... was that a bright pink coat?

Oh, I was going to kill them. See if they ever dressed me again. I mean, a bright pink coat, for Merlin's sake!

But I supposed that could wait. It may be blurry and dim, but the fact that I could see anything again was way more important than the fact that I was wearing the poofy-est bright pink coat that I could imagine.

"Sirius," I said again, smiling as he groaned and buried his face deeper in the pink.

"What?"

"Wake up, you dumbass," I told him, shrugging the shoulder he was on. He lifted his head and scowled at me. I stuck my tongue at him. "Come on," I said, standing up and dusting off my butt. "It's time to go back to James'."

Sirius stared at me. "But what about... can you see?" he asked excitedly, standing up and almost headbutting me in the process.

"Er, in a manner of speaking," I replied, smiling as he took my face between his hands and peered at me intently. "I can't really tell if you have eyes, but I can see you. Better, right?" He was silent for a minute, and I really couldn't make out his face yet, so I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Better, yes. But... is it still working, do you think? Still getting better?" he asked, and his tone revealed the doubt that I couldn't see.

"I'm sure it is," I replied defiantly; after all, it had worked thus far, even if it had taken two hours. I'm pretty sure that he glared at me, but... well, you know.

Sirius sighed. "All right... Back to James' then?"

I nodded. "Back to James'."

As Sirius took my hand, I looked up at the bright spot in the sky that was the moon, but all my thoughts were on his warm protective hand in mine.


	26. The Best NotChristmas Ever

((A/N: Hello again all! I'm sorry again for the dreadfully long wait. I guess I'm just so busy. :( I have no intention of discontinuing story, however. If you just stick with me, I promise I'll take it all the way to the end! And if you don't, well, I suppose you'll never know how it ends? Anyways :) Enjoy Chapter 25!)

Trying to explain to Dumbledore what had happened that Christmas was the hardest thing I'd ever done. (Okay, probably not; but it was hard.) I managed to finish telling him without crying. Much. I think it was finally hitting me: my parents were both dead.

And then he started asking me questions. What had Voldemort said to me? Where did he go when he wasn't torturing me? Was I all right?

I didn't have the answer to any of them except the first. And anyways, the atmosphere seemed awkward to me, a little distracting. It probably had something to do with the way that Sirius and James were sitting on one side, Sirius clasping my left hand in his two and consoling me whenever I stumbled or broke. And Apollo was sitting on my other side, doing the exact same thing. It was weird. Like they were being brought together, but were always separate anyways. Nothing could ever truly bring Slytherins and Gryffindors together. Not even me.

I did my best to answer Dumbledore's questions, but frankly, I didn't know what good my answers would do him. He probably already knew most of it anyways, being Dumbledore and all. After all,what didn't Dumbledore know? The questioning seemed to go on forever, until finally Dumbledore stood to leave.

"Are you sure that you would not like to return to Hogwarts with me? It's a more secure environment, and it may make you feel better."

I shook my head and he smiled, almost as if in approval.

"Now, one last thing before I go. There's the matter of your wand-"

I shot him a look of confusion, then realized what he meant.

I was, at the moment, wandless. I groaned, wondering how I could possibly have forgotten my wand. Apollo had paled considerably, probably wondering the same thing. Dumbledore continued as if he hadn't noticed their grim looks.

"I know that you would prefer to have your wand, but returning to your home to get it would be very foolish. You'll have to get a new one." He paused for a moment to see if I would respond. So I did.

"I will..."

He nodded in approval, a small smile, as if he thought I was lying. Then he was gone.

After that, Sirius and James forced me to bed, arguing that I had been through a lot (which I had) and that I needed to get some rest (which I probably should). But as soon as I fell asleep, I was plagued with dreams about my dead parents, and about Voldemort using my wand for all his misdeeds. In one particular dream, a family blamed me for the death of their parents, as he'd used my wand (though of course Voldemort had his own wand and had no use for mine). The basic fact of the matter was that my wand was probably snapped in two.

But what if it wasn't? Could I really just let the matter go without checking first? What if it was still at the house, just waiting for me to pop quickly back in and get it? What were the chances?

I didn't get the rest that the guys had hoped for. Not that I admitted that to them, of course. They already looked so worried as James' mother cooked breakfast and his father attempted to make pleasant conversation. It was getting so increasingly awkward as the morning wore on that I eventually couldn't stand it. I threw my fork down angrily, and everyone turned to look at me in shock.

"You know, I'm not dead. I'm fine! I wish that everyone would stop tiptoeing around me! I don't need everyone to feel sorry for me!" And then proceeded to feel guilty about it for the next half hour when James' parents avoided me.

"It's your own bloody fault," Sirius chuckled at my frustrated expression. He took to my words quite quick himself, quickly going back to my same old Sirius. "Maybe if you weren't such an ass all the time, people wouldn't hate you."

"Oh, shut up," I retorted. Not my best comeback, but whatever.

The rest of the day went by in a very boring blur. Sirius and James bailed on me (assholes, who knew what they were up to), leaving me at the house with his parents and silence. The more I sat around, not knowing what to do with myself, the more I was forced to think about that had become of my wand. Where my brother was. What Voldemort was doing now (I'd gotten a bit of a reprieve from him the past few days, aside from my random bursts of anger. And who could tell whether those were more mine or his?). I supposed that my brother was doing something important. He wouldn't have been away long unless he had things to take care of. Probably arranging the funerals that I could hardly consider possible at the moment. As to my wand, there was really nothing for it. As much as I hated to admit it, I was kind of afraid to go back and check. Afraid Voldemort would be there waiting. Afraid that I would find it in pieces. Afraid of making everything that had happened there into reality. And anyways, I'd told Dumbledore that I wouldn't go. I'd just have to stop in at Ollivander's before Christmas holiday ended for a new wand. There was probably enough in the family funds for it, assuming that they let me access it.

I was folded up on the couch, staring off in a daze, when I heard Sirius laugh and James say something. Blinking myself back to reality for what felt like the thousandth time that day, I was surprised to find Sirius' face less than an inch from my own.

Purely out of shock, I shrieked and slapped him away harder than I meant to, and James burst out laughing as Sirius staggered backwards. I twitched and tried to catch my breath.

"Don't scare me like that, you dumbass!" I yelled, pointing a shaky hand at him.

Sirius had recovered and knocked my hand aside. "We called you like ten times! You're the one who was all zoned out!"

"That doesn't give you permission to invade my personal space! You should know me well enough by now to know that that's a bad idea!"

Sirius growled and glared at me. "Fine, whatever. What were you thinking about, then?" he changed the subject none to subtly and plopped down on the couch next to me. "And before you say 'none of your business," I think you owe me. I can't feel my bloody cheek."

"It's your fault, you-"

"All right, all right, Dearie, whatever you say, Artemis. Then, as your boyfriend." I scowled at him some more, tempted to tell him to fuck off. Instead I just sighed.

"Just... a lot of stuff." Weight shifted on the couch as James joined us, looking as though he were trying desperately not to disturb us but still wanting to be included. I rolled my eyes and looked back at the fireplace, where a fire was burning merrily. "My wand, mostly." I closed my eyes and leaned back, only to have Sirius' arm pull me into him instead. I opened my eyes again to look at him; his left cheek was red (I really had hit him hard...) but his stormy eyes looked straight into my own and he was smiling softer than I ever seen him before.

"Try not to worry about it, Artemis. We'll get you a new wand, better than the old one." I snorted and he glared at me. "All right, fine. At least as good as. I know it's not the same, Artemis. But we both know you can't go back there. And anyways, it's probably gone."

"I know," I sighed. "I told Dumbledore I wouldn't go back anyways, but I just can't help wondering what happened to it." I noticed James and Sirius glance each other quickly, but then the focus was back on me.

"Come on," Sirius said quietly, taking my hand and pulling me off the couch.

"Huh?" I asked, confused for obvious reasons.

"Just come on. It's a surprise."

I resisted the urge to punch him and complied as they handed me a coat (thankfully not bright pink) and Sirius pulled me outside. James left us at the door, waving with a huge grin. "What are we doing?" I asked after we'd gone about two hundred feet out the back door, heading for what looked like forest.

"Going for a short walk," Sirius replied smartly. I sighed and decided he was too much of an ass to give me any sort of straight answer. We reached the tree line and I tried to admire the icicles hanging from the branches while also fretting about whatever Sirius' "surprise" was out in the middle of a forest.

It was a few minutes before we came into a snowy clearing: in the center, a table sat laden with food, flowers (the same as our second date: primroses, tuberoses, and orange blossoms), and a bright flame that was clearly of magical origin. Warmth washed over me as we approached it. I covered my mouth to stop my gasp of surprise, hating the sentimentality of the tears that gathered in my eyes. I hated to admit it, but I was touched by the gesture.

Sirius just smiled proudly as he pulled out my chair. "We figured, since you didn't get a Christmas, this was the least we could do," he said quietly.

Okay, seriously? I was crying way too much these days to possibly be healthy. But I couldn't help it. I grinned while I cried though, and Sirius laughed at me as he filled my plate up with food.

"Eat up! You're even more twiggy than you were before, and that is nearly impossible."

I stuck my tongue out at him, but ate up as ordered. While we ate, Sirius told me what he had been doing before I had arrived at James'. He'd had an all right Christmas, claiming that it was the best one he'd ever had. But I detected something underneath that; I got the feeling he was lying. But I let it slide; he was already talking about the days after Christmas with a touch more enthusiasm. They had snuck around and been up to no good, it seemed, though of course that was pretty expected of James and Sirius. James had been pining for Lily the whole time, though. But then, Sirius had been a little worried about me, so he'd really hardly noticed. It was then that I stumbled out of James' chimney.

After a good amount of time, Sirius and I finished eating and started a slow walk back to the house. A few minutes of silence passed.

Then I asked, "How was your Christmas really?"

Sirius glared at me, so I stuck my tongue out at him. "I already told you: It was wonderful! Presents and dinner and games and such. Wonderful."

I scowled at him. "Sirius, I know when you're lying to me." Usually, I added to myself. "I can tell it was wonderful as you would like me to believe."

Sirius huffed and looked away, stuffing his right hand into his pocket (his left was too busy holding my right). Then his shoulders slumped and he sighed. "All right, fine. It wasn't the best ever. But compared to yours-"

"Stop comparing to mine," I ordered sharply, causing him to look at me in surprise. "We've already established that I had a horrible Christmas. I want to know about yours! What you got and what you didn't and what you want. All right?" For a second, Sirius just stared at me.

Finally: "It was nice. And it was pretty good. The Potters are great people. They've accepted me where my own parents wouldn't. But being with them on Christmas... it always just makes me... jealous, I guess. It's just, I guess seeing their family Christmas and how happy they all are together. I guess I just wish I could have one like that." Sirius was blushing now; I could tell even though he was avoiding looking at me.

I smiled and abandoned his hand to embrace his arm, laying my head on his shoulder. "I'm sure you will, someday. I mean, you plan to get married someday, right? And have a kid or two? And then you'll have your own little family Christmas."

Sirius looked at me in shock for the second time in five minutes, and now I could see just how red his face actually was. He was nearly scarlet. And as if he'd had some kind of cue:

He pushed me up against a tree, and then it was my turn to blush as he pressed his body close against mine.

"Well in that case, why don't we just start trying now. We could have a family by next September. We can get a nice place and you can be a housewife and stay home with the kids. I'll get a job making a ton of money, and I'll spoil you and the kids rotten. And then, when I come home at night, you can spoil me rotten..." His hands dropped to my hips and I felt that Sirius scent wash over me.

I almost punched him in the face. "You know, Sirius, you are the master of ruining the moment."

Sirius smirked and pushed himself away from me. "And you've been awfully sappy these past few days. I dunno if you noticed or not, but you've been crying at least once daily, if not more, since you got here. Maybe you're already pregnant? You haven't been cheating on me have you?" He punched my arm playfully, already knowing how I would respond.

"You're such an ass!" I told him with a scowl, hitting his arm considerably harder. "I'm not even going to dignify that question with a response. That's not even funny. And if you ever accuse me of either of those again, I swear I'll dismember you and feed you to the wild animals in the Forbidden Forest."

I glared at him again, then resumed my march towards the house. It was a second before he caught up to me, smirking a little. "I'll keep that it mind."

It was snowing by the time that we reached James' house; both of us were shivering, relieved to find a warm fire built in the living room. Mrs. Potter (who had warmed up to me again after realizing that I was only suffering from a trauma) offered us warm biscuits and tea. As I picked some for myself, she turned to Sirius.

"Where has James got to? It's getting a bit late, isn't it?"

Sirius looked surprised. "He's not back yet?" Mrs. Potter shook her head and went off, still looking worried that her son was, at the moment, missing. Sirius, however, looked even more worried.

"What's wrong, Sirius? Where was James going?" I asked as Sirius took a single biscuit. Not at all usual Sirius.

"Well... he-he went to Lily's..." he said slowly, looking at me like he was trying to decide between being worried and lying to me. Because it seemed he couldn't do both. He was trying not to worry me, but while worrying himself, that wasn't possible.

Which set me to thinking. Where would I worry if James and Lily were there? And where would they go anyways?

"Sirius," I said softly, putting a hand on his arm gently. "Where did they go?"

"Don't worry, Artemis, they'll be-"

"Sirius." He stopped short, looking at me with a small frown.

"They went to... They went to get your wand," he said slowly. Then he sighed and looked down. "We didn't expect... I mean, I sure that nothing's wrong."

I stared at him for a second, then to clarify (as if I needed clarification), I asked, "They went to my parents' place?" Sirius nodded, still looking at the ground nervously. Dread filled me, and if felt like my whole body went numb. My legs started to give underneath me, but before Sirius could catch me I caught myself. I breathed in slowly through my teeth, and Sirius took my hand.

"I'm sorry-"

But before he could finish, I turned; there was the feeling of being sucked through a tube, and then we were standing in the dusk light in front of my old house. Sirius dropped his biscuit.

"Artemis!" he hissed, pulling me down behind the front hedges and blocking the view of the house. "You weren't supposed to come back! You promised Dumbledore-"

"Well, that was before my dumb ass friends thought they'd be brave and come back without me," I whispered, interrupting him with a glare. "Who knows what's wrong in there. Maybe they just can't find my wand, but maybe something bad it..." I let the sentence trail off, unable to voice those concerns for fear of them becoming reality. Sirius seemed to understand, because he nodded reluctantly and we made our way cautiously to the front door together.

It was silent as we entered the house. The only sign that anyone had been through since I'd left were the items strewn everywhere; of course that also may have been due to my parents' battle. We stood still for a second, listening to the house and trying to hear Lily and James. Soft voices were coming from the kitchen, so Sirius and I quickly glanced at each other and hurried in that direction. Fear welled up in me as we neared, but it was with relief that I realized those voices were Lily's and James'.

"I found it!" Lily's muffled voice said. My heart beat quickly; had she found my wand? "But..."

I opened the door silently, intended to scare them as punishment for sneaking into this dangerous place when both of them should have known better. But I stopped at the sight of my wand. Broken in two, just like I'd figured. Irreparable, certainly. Useless now, and here they were putting their lives into possible danger for it.

"Great," Sirius said, causing the two of them to jump about a foot in the air and whirl to look at him. "Now can we leave please?"

"Sirius, mate!" James exclaimed as Lily put her hand over her heart and gave us the Look. "You scared us half to death! You weren't supposed to come, she wasn't supposed-"

"Your mum was worried about you, and I realized you'd been gone a long time. We thought something might have..." he trailed off awkwardly. James nodded, and Lily turned her attention to me.

"Ar... I'm so sorry," she whispered, offering my broken wand to me as if it were a dead pet. I took it from her just as solemnly. We all looked at it, the reason we had come back to this horrible place. The place where Voldemort had tortured me, had killed my mother. All the horrible memories, but the good too. And all to get my wand. I was overwhelmed with happiness.

To have friends who would risk their lives to get my wand back for me, so that I wouldn't have to face this place again. I was so happy. So proud.

I nodded and grinned. "It's okay. I pretty much expected it." Putting the pieces in my pocket, I took Lily's hand. "Now let's get out of here. I don't ever want to come here again."

I turned to guide her back to the front door, but pushed her behind me instead as a rush of panic nearly blinded me.

Okay, in reality, maybe I wasn't the perfect person to stand as a shield to my friends; I was pretty defenseless at the moment. But as we mentioned above: My wand was the reason we had all risked our lives to come here. But that didn't mean that I was actually going to let them die for me.

I didn't seem to have a choice in the matter, however. Within seconds, Sirius and James were in front of both of us, wands drawn. As if they possibly stood a chance in hell against Lord Voldemort and the two Death Eaters accompanying him.

For a second, it was silent: the four of us probably tried to think of a way out at that time, but I already knew Voldemort was blocking everything but the fireplace. And that trick probably wouldn't work twice. As for the three of them: ugly smirks came onto the Death Eater's faces, and a smug smile on Voldemort's. They knew we were trapped.

And then he spoke.

"How kind of you, to bring my precious kin back to me. And I was so worried that I wouldn't see you again."

For a second I was back in that chair again. Tied up, helpless, seeing my friends horrified faces. And then I realized how horrified my friends faces actually were.

They weren't. My stubborn friends: I could see the fear, but they, like me, hid it behind that fearless mask. I felt like I was the only one who was truly afraid.

"Come, Artemis," Voldemort said softly, holding out his hand as if expecting me to take it and follow him anywhere. Come, come, come... come... come...

The word was filling my head. I could feel my body straining to obey, my mind fighting to keep control.

"Leave her alone!" Sirius yelled furiously, moving closer to me and breaking our eye contact. As if awaking from a trance, I regained control and Voldemort's voice dimmed in my head. But I could feel his anger awaken. He had my same genetically shortened temper, and Sirius wasn't about to get in the way.

"Stop!" I screamed frantically, trying and failing to push Sirius aside as Voldemort raised his wand. "I will!" As I said the words, my friends looked at me in shock. "I'll come, just leave them all alone. Don't hurt them."

Voldemort laughed, and I grimaced at the shadows of pain that came with it. "Very well. Come, Artemis, and I will not raise my wand against your friends."

I nodded slowly and took a step towards him, only to be shoved back viciously by Sirius, hard enough that I would have fallen flat on my ass if Lily hadn't been next to me. I could tell by the look on his face that he was furious, and not completely at Lord Voldemort. I glared at him.

"Sirius! What are you doing? I have this under control!"

"What am I doing? I'm saving your sorry ass!" he yelled back, turning his back on me. "You don't actually think that he'll let us go, do you? He might not hurt us, but that's why he's got his Death Eaters: to do his dirty work."

I grimaced and looked at the ground. Ashamed, shuffling my feet on the tile. He was right, of course. I wasn't thinking straight. Blinded by fear. But Sirius and the other two could see what I was afraid to. We weren't just going to bargain our way out of this.

Voldemort, of course, knew my decision had changed. "You won't come then, Artemis?" In answer, I scowled at him. His smug smile didn't fade. "I didn't want it to come to this, Artemis; but you've left me no choice." He made a small motion with his hands and turned to leave. "Kill them all." He vanished, but the fear didn't follow him.

Five wands were raised simultaneously, and I wished vehemently mine wasn't broken in my pocket. Knowing that there was nothing I could add to the battle, I allowed my friends to push me further behind them.

Pathetic. I felt so... pathetic. There were sparks and flashes of light now, flying back and forth across the room, but I couldn't do anything. Nothing but sit behind my friends and hope for the best. It seemed as though all at once everything was moving in slow motion, but also in fast forward. I couldn't hardly tell what was going on as the lights seemed to slow around me; I could hardly hear anything. All I knew was that a spell was barreling towards Lils and I. Out of habit perhaps, even believing that it wouldn't work, I threw myself into a spell: Portego! I thought will all my might, waving my arm as though brandishing my wand.

To my astonishment, the spell bounced away as it struck the invisible barrier. No one seemed to notice in all the fighting, assuming that one of the others had cast the spell. And maybe they had; maybe it was pure coincidence.

But if it wasn't, I had just discovered that I had an advantage. And right now, we needed one. Voldemort seemed to have brought his two best pets. James, Sirius, and Lily together were having a hard time holding them off as it was. I had to help. We didn't have to win. We just had to get away. We couldn't Disapparate; though my parents were gone, the charms on the house remained. We had to get outside, but the Death Eaters had the only exit blocked. I had no idea where the Floo Powder had wound up, so that way out was also useless.

So maybe we just needed to make our own way out.

My resolve strengthened, I cast around the kitchen, trying figure out how to best do so. There was nothing for it. There was nothing but the kitchen walls and the fireplace behind us. I focused my energy and will so hard on the wall that everything faded. Reducto! I thought desperately, praying that the spell would work.

Somehow, miraculously, it did. The resulting explosion proved that my coincidence was certainly not. This seemed to draw my friends attention, along with the Death Eaters. I grinned, but my humor didn't last long as the spells started flying again.

"Come on!" I yelled, taking Lily by the upper arm and pulling her towards the new exit I'd just made and hoping that James and Sirius would follow. The chill air made my eyes water as we darted outside, stumbling over rubble in our haste and dodging spells at the same time. A quick glance over my shoulder showed me that Sirius and James were indeed right behind us. And so were the Death Eaters.

Adrenaline pounded through me as we sprinted those last few steps to where I knew the boundaries of the charms were. A whoosh sounded by my left ear, a bright green light flashing past my face. And with that final parting vision, I turned on the spot, taking Lily with me as I Apparated back to James' place.

It was a few minutes before I could breathe normally again as the relief of our escape from the Death Eaters filled me. James and Sirius appeared right behind us, more to be thankful for.

I seemed to be the only one relieved, however. The others were staring at me, all still breathing hard.

But there would be time for questions later, I decided, grinning at them. For now, I was just so glad to have us all safe and sound.


	27. Peer Pressure

**((A/N: I'm SO sorry for this year long wait. I suck :) But anyways! For future reference, I've noticed that my breaks tend to disappear when I upload... so from now on, _paragraph is the equivalent of a break in time. Anyways, to anyone reading this, thanks for sticking with me! The end is in sight, kind of. So... Thanks! Enjoy!))**

_I sighed happily and relaxed back into my train seat, relieved to finally be going back to Hogwarts. My last few days at the Potters' were enjoyable, but it would be nice to be back in my dorm bed, not having to worry so much that Voldemort was going to pop out of some shadowy corner. That was probably just an effect of sleeping in my own room (I stoutly refused Sirius' proposal to sleep in the bed with me), and having Lily and even the other three girls in the dorm would hopefully be a comfort.

"So Artemis can use magic without her wand?" Remus repeated skeptically across from me, interrupting my lounging as he leaned forward, intrigued. "That's pretty impressive, you know. It takes a lot of focus to be able to do that. And no offense, but it's a little unbelievable when you look at your Charms scores."

I scowled. "Hey, I just work here. By that, I mean I have about as much idea about this as you do. All I know is I was just so... scared, you know? And determined to get these retards out of there alive." I turned my glared to Lily and James, who both grinned sheepishly. "I've been trying to do it again, too, but no luck. Which is why I had to go buy a new wand," I added, taking the new redwood wand out of my pocket. It wasn't as bad as I had expected. I guess I'd thought that my wand was the only one for me, but Sirius had been right: this new wand was probably just as good as my old one. At least it felt only slightly awkwardly different.

Remus looked at the window thoughtfully and stayed that way for some time. Eventually Lily and James went off for their duties as Head Boy and Girl, and Peter drifted off to sleep. The trip passed mostly in silence, until finally I was back in my dorm, sleepily curled under comforting warm blankets. If only I'd known how fleeting that comfort would be.

_A week passed and things fell back into their normal routine once again. James' and Lily's relationship continued to develop, as did mine and Sirius'. I continued to suck epically at Charms, improving slowly with my friends help. And we all froze our asses off as Quidditch practice resumed, regardless of the daily snow flurries.

But at the same time everything was different. As comforting and at home as I felt now that I was back at Hogwarts, it still struck me every now and then. My muscles still ached slightly when I traversed the stairs to class, a reminder of the torture I'd endured. I saw my brother every meal time and remembered how he'd braved my father and Lord Voldemort's wrath to save me. And every night before I went to bed, when I was safe in my bed with the curtains pulled and the other four girls snoring softly, I remembered that my mother was dead; that I wouldn't be getting any letters from her anymore; that I would never see her again and that she had died to save Apollo and I. And I cried. Recovery was a lot slower process than I'd thought. Honestly, I don't think that I could have survived that period if not for my friends.

Apollo and I were being forced to go to weekly counseling sessions with Professor Dumbledore (personally, I would have thought the man had better things to do that comfort a pair of traumatized teenagers), but what really helped most was the way that Lily kept me preoccupied with my schoolwork when she noticed my sad frown, always keeping a bright smile on her own face. And the way that the Marauders would play stupid, nonsensical pranks on people I'd grown to hate (i.e. Severus Snape, Patton Lexing, and April June). But my favorite was the way that Sirius, whenever he had the chance, would sit so close to me that I was surrounded by his warmth and his scent, his hand holding mine tightly as though he wouldn't even dream of letting go.

So for the most part, everything felt perfect.

Unfortunately, it wasn't. But I wouldn't notice that for a while.

It started the first week of January. We were walking down to the kitchens in the middle of the night, Sirius and I huddled together under the borrowed Invisibility Cloak.

"Where did you say James got this from again?" I whispered softly, not wanting my voice to be heard by some stray patrolling teacher or by Mr Filch. "These are incredibly rare, aren't they?"

Sirius shrugged. "He said it's been passed down in his family, so I guess he's parents gave it to him. Funny though, you would think the charm would wear off eventually."

"That's true... Maybe it's just very well made?"

"Even a well made one wouldn't usually last as long as this one has." Sirius paused to tickle the pear on the Kitchen's door. As the door swung forward and we ducked inside, Sirius continued, "But I supposed it doesn't really matter so long as it stays that way and no one sees you."

"Mm," I agreed, slipping from said cloak and making my way directly to a tray of proffered chocolate eclairs. "Hello, Tippy," I greeted the small house elf with a smile.

"Good evening, Miss Artemis," the house elf squeaked back delightedly, bouncing on his little toes. "Would Miss Artemis care for something to drink? A pumpkin juice or a butterbeer or some firewhiskey?"

"Firewhiskey!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly, ignoring my scowl as the house elves almost instantly offered him a glass of the stuff. "What? Just a little..."

"You're going to be an alcoholic, aren't you?" I said with a shake of my head as he downed the glass. "Merlin's beard, you don't need to drink it all at once!" He stuck his tongue out at me and took another glass and tried to put it in my hand.

"Come one, Artemis. Just one glass."

"Sirius we aren't old enough-"

"Just one. That's all."

"No," I growled. Sirius sighed and downed the second glass.

"Suit yourself," he muttered with a shudder. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Tippy.

"I'm okay with pumpkin juice please." Tippy bowed and ran off while I helped myself to another eclair. "You brought a bag, right, Sirius?" I turned back to him in time to see him with a glass in each hand and glared at him. "Sirius!" He smiled at me innocently then drank the rest of the glasses before I could stop him. "No more!" I snapped; the house elves jumped and looked between us. "Do not give him any more," I ordered.

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes at me, throwing his empty book bag at me. "Fine, fine. The usual stuff, guys."

The bag wasn't empty for long. By the time it got back to me, it was crammed full of tarts, eclairs, cakes, and all other manner of treats. With a wave and a goodbye, Sirius and I tucked ourselves back under the cloak and started on our way back, Sirius still pouting about the alcohol.

"What do you have to drink for anyways?" I asked, glowering over my shoulder at him while we walked. He just smirked at me with that annoying habit of his: completely ignoring my totally valid question. I huffed and flipped him off, scowling when he took my hand. "Don't ignore me and then try to suck up," I warned.

He ignored me and continued to hold my hand. "Here's the real question: why don't you drink?"

I was asked this a lot, as it turned out. So I gave my usual answer: "Because we're underage, dumbass." He rolled his eyes at me, so I continued. "What? Some of us aren't arrogant bastards who think we're above laws. Right, Snuffles?"

"Ah. Right, I forgot that you're such a pretentious rule follower. Now what's the real reason?"

"That is the real reason."

"Artemis." He gave me a look that said very clearly that he knew there was more. Which there was; but I never told anyone any more than the simple, quite valid underage law. "Serious. What's the real reason?" I pouted and dropped his hand, which he of course took as confirmation that he was on to something big. "Scared? Is my little Ar a big chicken?" he asked, patting my head playfully.

"No..." I muttered stubbornly, looking away. "It's illegal," I stressed. He rose an eyebrow at my response and sighed.

"Fine, fine. I suppose I'll find out later anyways. Eventually, I'll get you to drink and you'll see the error of your ways regardless. Until then..." he threw his arm over my shoulder and breathed heavily in my face. His breath smelled like chocolate and alcohol. I elbowed him.

By now the portrait hole was in sight. The Fat Lady squinted down at us as we sauntered up. "Yes?" she asked, obviously pretty bored.

"Pumpkin spice," I stated. She nodded and acquiesced, swinging open and allowing us to go by.

"AHA!" Sirius and the bag were bowled over as James and Peter jumped on him and proceeded to drag him by the bag to the table where Lily and Remus were still seated. I started to follow when someone nearly bowled me over as said person (clearly on purpose) ran into me on their way out of the portrait hole. Turning to yell at them (because OW!), I saw that it was Melanie Jordan, staring back at me as she left, her brown eyes narrowed at me. With a nearly imperceptible jerk of the head, she was gone. I sighed. I really did not want to deal with her. Now or ever really. She clearly wanted me to follow.

I sat down at the chair next to Sirius. Melanie could go screw herself, I thought scathingly. If she thought trying to knock me to the ground and then glaring at me like it was my fault was a way to get her way, she was terribly wrong. Sirius handed me an eclair and continued his conversation with James and Lily, something about me being a giant prat for not wanting to drink.

"Sirius, two things," Lily stopped him. I shook my head a little and refocused on the conversation. "One: Ar is perfectly capable of making her own decisions, and just because she doesn't want to drink doesn't make her a prat. Two: Drinking underage is illegal."

I snorted and Sirius gaped at her. "See! Lily agrees with me!"

"Ah, well, I forgot that she's also a pretentious rule follower. James?"

"Er..." James trailed looking between his girlfriend and his best friend. Lily scowled at him and it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"Sirius," I intervened, trying to save James, "nothing you guys say is going to make me drink. Just get over it. Anyways, you probably just want me to get drunk so that you can have me, right?" I stuck my tongue out at him and he scowled. He didn't bother denying it, so I grinned in victory. "And there you have it. Just one more reason not to drink."

"Well, what's that supposed to mean?" Sirius pouted. I looked at him innocently. "Merlin," he turned back to James and Lily, "What kind of world is this, where your girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with you?" Lily's face changed instantly to match mine, and James flushed and looked up at the ceiling with a pout.

Clearly, Lily was being as difficult as I was.

"Sirius, life doesn't revolve around sex," I pointed out.

"Well, obviously, but still! Sex is... a statement of attraction, let's put it that way. People want to have sex with attractive people. Plus, sex is fun. It feels good, it's a good stress reliever, and everyone likes to have sex. Human beings like having sex."

"Well, I wouldn't know, as we've covered the fact that I'm a virgin multiple times. Also, being attractive isn't the only prerequisite. And anyways, shouldn't sex be more... I dunno, romantic? Special?" Sirius looked stumped, so I continued. "I mean, if I were a total slag, a tart who'd shagged Merlin knows how many people, could you honestly say that you would still want to have sex with me? If it were purely based on attraction, there's the possibility that could have happened. I'd be like... I dunno, like the coolest toy all the little kids have played with and slobbered all over and such. Isn't it better to have a new toy that's all yours, that you actually want to play with?"

I trailed off as Sirius burst out laughing. "Artemis, did you really just compared sex with children playing with their toys?" I sighed and folded my arms. This... was really starting to get annoying.

"You're head is thick as a brick, you know that? You completely missed my point!"

"Oh, I got it," he interrupted. "You're just as afraid of having sex as you are of drinking! What is it? What are you afraid of?"

I didn't know how to respond. I stared at him for a minute until James finally decided he should pay me back for saving him.

"It's okay, Pads! Lily won't shag me either!" Lily hit him, hard, in the shoulder and he whimpered. "Sorry, that didn't quite come out like it should have..." she hit him again before grabbing another fruit tart from the bag. "What I mean is... well, we just picked good. Artemis is kind of right. Sex... it's for pleasure, true. But I feel like... when we're finally done waiting, it will be even more special. Partly because we had to wait for it, and partly because we'll be doing it with someone we know enough to know that we truly love." He grinned as Lily huffed and took his arm.

Sirius looked at him thoughtfully, then shrugged. "Well, yeah okay. I get that. I mean, I'm not saying we should sleep with every person we think is attractive. I'm just saying that we've been dating for some time now, and I feel ready." He glanced at me and sighed. "But I suppose... if you don't..." I blushed and looked balefully at the bag on the table. The six of us sat in awkward quiet for a couple minutes before anyone said anything.

"Er, why is Melanie staring at us?"

It took a few seconds for us to register what Peter asked, then Sirius and I both snorted at once while Lily and James both looked around at said brunette.

"Who cares?" I said, pushing the anger back out of my head.

"She's looks furious..." Lily pointed out. "I hope everything is alright." I don't, I thought bitterly, though I kept my thoughts to myself. Sirius seemed to feel the same way. With a pointed look at Melanie, he pulled my chair closer to his so that he could pulled me to him.

"She's just jealous," he informed Lily with a smirk. "She wants to shag me."

I punched him.

_Sirius sat cross legged on his bed, looking thoughtfully at the magazine is his hand. He sighed, a small sound James obviously heard from his own bed.

"What's up, mate?"

"Mm? Just thinking about our conversation earlier..." Sirius tossed the magazine to the ground. "Do you really think it's... okay? I mean, to put off having sex like she keeps doing? It's just... it's driving me wonky."

James smiled and sat back against his pillow. "Sure. You know Ar. When she's not all wound up, she's extremely cautious. It's not that she doesn't want to. You're right, you know. She's... afraid. She just doesn't want to have you be her first and then have you walk out on her."

"How do you know?" Sirius asked worriedly. Ar never talked to him about that stuff: things she was afraid of, things she wanted to hide from the world. "Does she... does she talk to you about things like that?"

"No. It's not really anything she says, mate. Body language! You can tell if you're watching you two from the outside." James beamed at his best friend. "She bloody glows when you two kiss. She pulls herself closer and wraps herself around you. But the second you try to touch her, try to get her worked up, her face changes. She hides it well, but I always see it: fear. She wants it, probably just as bad as you, but... well, she's just afraid."

Sirius sighed. "Great. How do you fix that, do you think? I can't just say, 'sh, it'll be alright,' and go for it if she doesn't want to. Anyways, if I tried that she'd probably just hex me into oblivion." James just shrugged.

"Mate, if I knew, Lily and I would be doing it too. I guess until we figure it out... it's blue balls for us!" he said happily. Sirius marveled at the enormous smile on his best mate's face. James really loved Lily, enough to wait for her to be ready. But did Sirius love Artemis? Enough to let her put him through this torture until she was finally ready to give herself to him?

Sirius wasn't sure. But he knew that he was enjoying this: this being her boyfriend, being around her as much as he could, kissing her, holding her hand, and the feeling that he got whenever he was doing these things. Happiness. Love, maybe? Was that really what it was?

Well, until I figure it out... it's blue balls for me, he thought with a scowl.

The next morning, Sirius was sitting at the Gryffindor table by himself, still thinking on the matter. How was he supposed to tell? No one had ever given him a solid definition of love. Honestly, he hadn't ever given any thought to the matter. None of his previous girlfriends had ever caused him to consider it; they all assumed that that's what it was, but Sirius knew that it never was. But now, he was just confused.

Why did love have to be so... complicated? he asked himself with a frown at his cereal. Ar chose this moment to sit down next to him, unusually far. This struck Sirius as ominous, even more so when she turned to look at him with a grim expression. Without even meaning to, he braced himself emotionally.

That was the expression he typically gave girls when he was about to dump them.

Artemis swallowed. "Sirius..." And his brain kicked into overdrive, trying to think of reasons she would dump him, how he should react, how he could stop her from saying it was over. "I'm sorry..." she continued, oblivious of the river of thoughts now streaming though his head at breakneck speed. "I'm so sorry." The sex, that had to be the reason, Sirius concluded. That was why she had never had a boyfriend for very long: they'd always pressured her to have sex with them. He was fucked. Wasn't that exactly what he had been doing last night? If not for a while now? "It's not you, really. It's me."

Sirius was ashamed to admit it: he panicked.

"No! I'm sorry! I'm so, so, so sorry! I don't think I've ever been more sorry in my life!" Sirius took Ar's two small hands in his own bigger ones and looked into Artemis' surprised face. Suddenly, that was all he saw: this small woman, her surprised face, her entire being.

James was right: she was the most important thing. And he could wait.

"You're the most important thing in my life right now, and I shouldn't be pressuring you like I was. I'm an idiot, the biggest, but I don't want to lose you! So please, just don't break up with me..." He trailed off as she pulled one of her hands from his and smacked him.

"Merlin, Sirius!" she snapped. "I'm trying to tell you something important, you bloody idiot! I don't want to break up with you! Not now, maybe not ever. I was just trying to say that I'm sorry, because I keep hurting you by saying I don't want to sleep with you. The truth is, I am scared. I'm terrified. Of all of it. I've been so confused about how I felt about you and how far and fast I should be willing to go with you and I know you're ready to go farther and that scares me too. Because I'm not ready, I'm not, and I don't know how to tell you that in a way that you'll understand. Does that make sense?" She paused and looked at Sirius.

Sirius burst out laughing and pulled her to him for a hug. "Artemis," he started, trying to rein in the joy and relief and surprise so that he could say something to comfort her and stop the tears that were welling in her eyes from spilling over. "Did you hear what I just said? You're the most important thing to me right now, and if you aren't ready to do something, if you're scared, you should just tell me!" Sirius smiled and leaned back to look at her again. "Waiting... it won't kill me. We're both confused... but we'll work it out together, and when we reach that point in our relationship, I suppose we'll both know it. Okay?"

Artemis sniffed and nodded, wiping her unshed tears on the sleeves of her cloak. But as she did, her sleeves drifted back towards her elbows and Sirius couldn't help but notice the bandages on her right hand. Again. It was hard but he bit back the question and pushed a bowl of her favorite cereal in front of her.

One step at a time, he told himself. For now, he was content in the knowledge that they were still together, still happy, still heading in a good direction. And she was confiding in him somewhat. It would only be a matter of time.

_"Gaunt!"

I groaned, finally cornered after avoiding Melanie for the rest of the week. Because of course I was the only one of my friends who would dream of visiting the Library on a Saturday, of all days! The corridor was quite deserted with the exception of myself and Melanie, much to my displeasure. The brunette came to a halt in front of me, a scowl on her face, eyes glowing and narrowed menacingly.

"Gaunt!" she repeated angrily, flipping her hair vainly and putting her hands on her hips. "You've been avoiding me!"

"Does that really surprise you?" I asked dully, putting my own hands in pocket and grasping my wand tightly. Habit... "I mean, you are an angry self-obsessed bitch."

She gritted her teeth and her expression darkened. "Hm. Well, I think you know what this is about." My stomach clenched. I think I did too. "It's time."

Don't hex her, I demanded of myself. "Time for what? You to get over yourself? I most certainly agree."

"Dump him."

And there it was. The statement that I had been waiting for since she'd started stalking me instead of Sirius. The second half of my task if I wanted to avoid having my "deepest, darkest secrets" spread throughout Hogwarts. The part where I destroyed Sirius after having worked so hard to get him to love me. Though that had been a lot easier that I'd expected.

Guess when you really feel that way, it's not such a difficult thing to do after all.

"I don't think so," I replied. I turned and started to walk away.

"Uh, what?"

A spark of irritation; I forced my hand to let go of my wand and retreat from my pocket. "I said, 'I don't think so.' And by that I mean, no." I took another step before I felt something poke the back of my head. I turned around slowly to look cross-eyed at Melanie's wand, directly pointed at my face. "You don't want to do that, love," I warned in a deadly quiet voice.

"But you have to," she argued, ignoring the threat in my tone. "I'll tell everyone everything. I'll destroy you, Artemis Gaunt."

"You know what, Melanie," I said, frowning and knocking her wand aside, "even if I do, even if I dump him, he's not going to take you back. He won't love you. He never did. All you're doing is hurting yourself, hurting all of us. Why don't you just move on? There's got to be someone out there who might love a selfish bitch like you." I shook my head at her, trying to push back the anger; I had a feeling Voldemort was fighting me, but I wasn't going to let it win. Anyways, she was pretty pathetic.

I turned and started walking away again, slipping my hands back into my pockets while I let her boil.

"Last chance, Gaunt. Dump him, or face the consequences."

I couldn't help it. But I won.

Melanie and her new black eye could go fuck themselves.


	28. Break

((A/N: Sooooooo what's up everyone? I know it's been a long while since my last update; I've been out of internet for some time now. But for the moment, I have internet access! So for now, enjoy this next chapter!))

Sirius couldn't help but stare back at Melanie in shock from across the Gryffindor common room.

"What did you do to her face?" he asked in horror. The lovely purple bruise and swelling around Melanie's left eye seemed to have left people in shocked silence, but Sirius had to ask. Artemis looked around and snorted.

"Why do you just assume it was me?" she asked in an affronted tone. Sirius just gave her a piercing look. "What? She deserved it, don't you worry. What do you care anyway?"

Sirius leaned back in his chair and shot his girlfriend a skeptical look. "She deserved it, then? And what did she do to you?"

The stubborn ass just huffed and shook her head. "Never you mind. She just did. Although I did lose my temper a little..." Sirius scowled.

"Do me a favor and stop making enemies?"

"Well, technically, she already was one."

Sirius rolled his eyes at her. "That doesn't mean you should hit her." She stuck her tongue out at him and continued with the essay she was writing on early wizarding wars of the 1500s. Sirius chuckled and went back to his own task: devising the Marauders' next big prank. "Where were the others going again?" he asked, jotting down 'Filch' as he spoke.

"James, Remus, and Lily are out on prefect duties, and Peter said he had to go to the hospital wing for... I dunno, something weird."

"Oh, that's right! I think he found last year's underwear."

Artemis paused and looked up at him, opening her mouth to ask but seeming to decide she'd rather not. Instead she glared at him. "Sirius, can you do me a favor? Shut up so I can focus on this stupid essay!"

Sirius pouted at his list but nodded. "Fine fine. But you owe me snogging later." Artemis waved her hand dismissively, now to the point of ignoring him. Sirius sighed and returned again to his list. "You're boring when you're doing your homework, love." The only sign that she heard him was her sticking her tongue at him again.

-James and Lily were preoccupied, but certainly not by their Head duties. They were supposed to be roving, keeping an eye out for misbehaving students. At the moment, however, they were tucked comfortably in a small nook James had found years ago behind a tapestry on the fourth floor. The spot was obviously used as a cozy spot for couples: there were plush cushions on the ground, and half-used candles currently giving off a dim light.

"We shouldn't be doing this, James," Lily said softly as she sat precariously on one of the plump cushions. "We're supposed to be-"

"Sh, Lily-kins," James interrupted, putting a finger over her lips gently with a soft smile. "It's fine. Here." He pulled a piece of parchment from his robes and tapped it with his wand. Lily watched as lines spread across it, gradually coming together to form a map. James beamed and placed it on the floor next to them. "See. It's a map of Hogwarts. It will show anyone and everyone in Hogwarts. All we have to do is occasionally check to make sure no one is where they shouldn't be."

Lily leaned over the map and was astounded to see that he was right: the map showed where everyone was! Sirius and Artemis were sitting in the common room. Remus was monitoring the Astronomy Tower. Professor McGonagall was in her office, presumably grading the essays they'd turned in that morning. "That's amaz-"

James cut her off again, this time with a tender kiss on the lips. It was only a second, but Lily kind of had to admit she wanted it to last longer. James pulled back and looked at her, his hazel eyes meeting her emerald, looking at her with love like they always did. Lily suddenly felt breathless, looking up at him, her heart beating fast. How was it possibly that he could make her feel this way? Just last year, he'd been the worst, she'd hated him. But now...

Now Lily could almost see a life with him. She could see herself walking down the aisle to meet him, see small children running around and playing in a beautiful backyard, see the two of them sitting side by side in rocking chairs when they were old and decrepit. She wanted to give herself to him, this boy who had tried so hard to win her over, this man who had finally succeeded.

Lily pulled James to her again, their lips meeting once more, though not as softly this time around. There was passion in their kiss, and it kind of scared her but also exhilarated her. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as he stroked her hair and moved down to her lower back. Her body ached with longing. One of his hands found its way beneath her robes, and the feel of his hand on her bare leg made her shiver. His warm fingers traced a pattern on her thigh, and the longing intensified. Lily had never felt this way before. She was letting him go farther and farther, get closer and closer. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Too fast!" she gasped, pulling away. She realized with a shock that her face was burning, probably scarlet even in the dim light. James instantly stopped, pulling his hands back quickly as if he'd been burned. "S-sorry," she muttered, looking down at the map.

"For what?" James asked, looking at the map himself. Though he probably saw it; Lily definitely didn't. She felt her blush deepen, as if that were possible.

"I... I don't know. I guess... that I stopped you?"

James snorted, then grinned sheepishly at Lily's confused derision. "You don't have to be sorry, flower. Too fast, you said. And you're right. We are moving a bit fast. So... if you want to slow down, just say so, okay?"

Lily stared at him for a minute before nodding. "All right." They sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Lily got up the nerve to ask: "Was that... was it just me, or was that pretty intense?"

James looked at her and laughed. "I guess it was! More... fiery than usual, I guess." He paused. "Did you like it?"

She blinked and pretended to think about it for a second. "Yes. I think I did."

James smiled. "Good. 'Cause there's plenty more where that came from." Lily elbowed him. "Sorry." He went silent, instead just cozying up next to Lily and burying his face in her hair. Strawberries.

"Where are Sirius and Artemis going?" Lily asked suddenly; she had just noticed their dots moving from the common room. James surfaced to look, following their path.

"The... Room of Requirement?"

"The what?'

"Oh, er... it's just this magic room. Basically it turns into the room that you most need at that time. A place to hide things. Or a place to hide, period. Or perhaps... a broom cupboard?"

Lily elbowed him again. "Please! We're closer to that than those two." James chuckled and shrugged, watching the two dots disappear from the map. After a minute, the two decided that it wasn't something to be concerned about and went back to something they both agreed was fun: kissing.

-I sighed and leaned back against shower wall, letting the water wash away the sweat that I'd worked up in the Room of Requirement. Sirius and I had gone to work out (yoga, this time, during which Sirius complained nonstop), and had finished with a make out session that ended in the same old argument when I wouldn't let him feel me up. In the end, he had stomped off angrily, leaving me huffing in the Room by myself.

Feeling guilty. Feeling angry. Feeling lonely. And desperately needing a shower.

So I decided to fix the only one I could. As quickly as I possibly could (I was out after curfew), I was back in Gryffindor tower, back in my dormitory, and in the shower.

With my thoughts, unfortunately. Was I really being a prude? Maybe Sirius had a point. Normal girls, girls like Melanie, they probably would have slept with him already... and yet I was holding him back. I wouldn't even let him touch me: not the breasts, and certainly not there, not that place that burned for want of him. And how could I? There was so much fear in me, so afraid that things might change and escalate out of control at the slightest change.

Was Sirius right then? Did I need to just grow up? Was it time to take the next step?

And that was when it hit me: yes. Yes, it was.

The next day, I spent all day trying to decide how to tell him I was ready. Not to go all the way, just to take the next step. Would he be happy? Or wouldn't he still want the whole thing? Probably the second, but maybe... would he settle for taking it slow?

Sirius was still pouting when we got to Charms class and took our usual seats in the back corner of the classroom. He ignored me as I sat down next to him and started immediately on his classwork. At his coldness, I felt the nerves, finally.

"S-Sirius?" I stuttered. He glared around at me, but didn't respond. I sighed and continued. "I'm sorry. Again. For being... prudish."

His annoyed look turned to one of confusion and suspicion. "You... are?"

"Well... yes. I thought about what you said while I was in the shower and-"

"Miss Gaunt!" I jumped; I hadn't noticed the Professor approaching.

"Er, yes, Professor?"

"Why don't you show me how you've improved! You must have nearly mastered the spell by now."

I grinned in embarrassment. "Er... not exactly..."

Sirius snorted, but Professor Flitwick smiled on expectantly. With an enormous sigh, I took out my new wand and scowled at the suit of armor the short professor expected me to move. "Animus!" To no one's surprise, the armor didn't move. Flitwick and I sighed at the same time. "Sorry, Professor... I really am trying..."

"Of course, Miss Gaunt. I know. You just need a bit more practice, I think. How about... remedial lessons, starting next Monday in here with me."

I hung my head and nodded sadly. "I suppose that's for the best..." Professor Flitwick smiled at my dismal attitude and wandered off to watch James and Lily, leaving me to mope and Sirius to chortle a little bit.

After a minute, Sirius remembered that I had been in the middle of a sentence. "So, what were you saying then? Something about me being right?"

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I said, but I should have expected that to be the conclusion you came to." Sirius just smirked at me, so I ignored him and continued what I'd been about to say. "Well... I was just thinking about it, and I guess I realized... maybe I am ready. Not to... you know! Just for whatever comes next. Stop looking at me like that, you dolt!" I resisted the urge to smack him upside the shaggy head and tried to cast the spell again. And failed. Stupid Charms.

Sirius made a valiant attempt to wipe the smug grin of his face; at least, I assumed he did, because the look didn't go away. If anything, it intensified. "So what are we talking here? Like, everywhere? Just breasts? Ass?"

I scowled at him. "Well, I suppose anywhere is fine... Though I should mention I don't plan on taking off my clothes."

"Oh, silly Artemis. You don't have to. I will!" He snorted at my look of indignation. "Kidding, kidding. Don't get your knickers in a twist!"

"You know, you always know just what to say to make things worse for yourself. It's an impressive talent."

I was saved his snide comeback as the bell rang for the end of class. Together with Lily and James we all headed down to lunch together. Lily was saying something about how nice it was of Professor Flitwick to give me extra lessons; I would need them if I expected to pass the N.E.W.T. at year's end (I didn't expect to pass... but I wasn't going to let Lily know that).

I glanced at Sirius out of the corner of my eye and smiled to realize he was staring at me as we all sat in the middle of the table. Remus and Peter joined us a moment later.

I dished myself some potato casserole as Lily and James started talking about their plans for the weekend. "What are we going to do?" I asked Sirius, tuning the lovebirds out. Sirius looked thoughtful, but only for a second.

"Well, I know what I want to do..." He smirked at looked at me with a look that made what he wanted to do quite obvious. I stuck my tongue out at him.

Remus glanced once at us and chuckled.

"You two should get a broom cupboard," he stated with a knowing smile. I nearly choked on the bite of casserole I had just put in my mouth. "The way you're looking at each other isn't really appropriate for the lunch table."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh shut it, Remus." I pointed my fork at him. "Anyways, I'm not the problem here; he is." And I took another bite. Remus laughed as Sirius sighed and shook his head.

"She's in denial," Sirius said matter-of-factly. I punched him in the arm, but he just continued to smirk smugly. "Just refuses to admit that she wants-"

"Sirius!" A very unwelcome voice saved me from whatever ridiculous thing was about to come out of his mouth. Unfortunately, I would rather have heard him say whatever he had been about to say than see Melanie striding towards us with a haughty expression. "Sirius!"

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes, his smugness turning to a look of frustration. "What?"

"Well," Melanie started slowly, looking between Sirius and I with a pout, "I was kind of hoping we could talk alone..."

"I'm busy," Sirius said bluntly, gesturing towards his food and turning back to me.

"But... It's about that," she said, looking pointedly at me with a razor sharp look. My stomach sank; I had a feeling I knew what she was trying to do. Sirius did me the favor of glaring at her for me.

"Well, if it's about that, then you can say what you have to say in front of it," he informed her, folding his arms across his chest stubbornly. I snorted and hit him upside the head.

"Well thank you, dear," I said sarcastically. " I really enjoy the way you refer to me as a neutral pronoun." He just shrugged.

At this point, Melanie was grumbling to herself, furious, glaring at me with deepest loathing. Finally, she inhaled deeply, puffing up her cheeks a little and somehow making that look determined. "Sirius, there are some things you don't know about your-" she paused and looked at me with distaste, scrunching up her nose-"girlfriend." By now, she had the attention of students in the immediate vicinity, and it occurred to me that maybe Sirius should have taken her up on the private conversation. This was going to end badly, whether it was for me or for her.

"Is that so?" Sirius chuckled, rolling his eyes again.

"Yes!" she snapped as the other Marauders starting laughing with him. "As you well know, she's related to Slytherin; you're the one who told me, so of course you know that!" The radius of attention was growing. At least half of the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor tables were paying attention now. Mira and Olivia had arrived to back Melanie up, looking only slightly sheepish as they met my eyes. They flanked her like small, skinny bodyguards. Not very intimidating. "But I bet you don't know..." a pause for dramatic effect... "She's also related to You-Know-Who!" There were gasps, including one from Lily. I looked at her questioningly.

"So low..." she muttered angrily under her breath, and I could see her wand hand had tensed.

Sirius, however, drew me closer and laughed. "As a matter of fact, I did know that. Not only can you figure that out if you have a brain and know she's a Slytherin; we also have this little thing called trust and honesty. It's quite refreshing, actually."

I beamed at him and he kissed me softly. If this was all that Melanie had on me, there wasn't a thing in the world she could do to convince Sirius to break up with me. We'd make it!

Melanie looked as if she'd seen a ghost, a very scary one anyways. She blushed and her look of hatred increased tenfold. "She's-She's a parseltongue! She can talk to snakes, for Merlin's sake!" It seemed as though the entire Great Hall was listening in now. Professor McGonagall had gotten up from her seat at the teachers' table and was heading this way, presumably to see what the real problem was. "Sh-She pushed her brother down the stairs when they were little! She was trying to kill him!"

My smile faltered and I looked at Lily questioningly. How could she possibly have known that? I was almost one hundred percent positive that Lily was the only one I had ever told that; Lily was giving me about the same look. Sirius was looking a bit disgruntled now, but it seemed to be more directed at Melanie than at me.

"Well, I don't blame her. He is kind of an asshole. And like you said, they were little; she probably didn't know any better. Now if you don't mind-"

"She's bloody crazy, Sirius! You have to know! She cuts herself!"

My smile completely dropped, and so did my friends. For a split second, they all just stared at me while I gaped at Melanie. Then Sirius pulled me protectively to him.

"Yes, well, everyone has problems; you're a jealous cunt."

Melanie's hurt look was hard to miss, though it was quickly masked by fury. Things were obviously getting out of hand; McGonagall was almost there, and I just prayed to any God that could hear me that this whole scene would come to an end quick.

"She stuffs her bra! That's why she won't let you touch her! And she's shagged all the Slytherins!" Melanie was clearly running out of arguments; maybe McGonagall wasn't actually needed, I thought with relief. Had her previous statement about my cutting not been almost true, what she was left with would have been hilarious. Sirius even managed a laugh. "She's only dating you because I told her to!"

Absolute silence replaced the scattered chuckles and hushed conversations. It felt like every singled pair of eyes in the Great Hall turned from Melanie to me. I felt the blood drain from my face as I gaped at her; my eyes widened and my jaw clenched shut and I just stared. How could she use that? How could she use that against me? She blackmailed me! And surely, the end justifies the means, right! Yes, the initial idea came from her forcing me to agree to her bullshit plan, but by the time we'd actually started dating the feelings had been real. Regardless of whether either of us had wanted to admit it. I had been falling in love with him all year, even before she had threatened me. So how could she use that?

"Is that true?" Sirius whisper, smaller and softer than I'd ever heard him speak before, cut through my emotions and thoughts like a knife through melted butter. Eyes that had looked at me with admiration and happiness not ten minutes before stared with confusion and pain now, just waiting for an answer they seemed to know they weren't going to get. "Well?"

I swallowed nervously, the weight of everyone's attention on my shoulders, everyone silently awaiting my answer. Even McGonagall had stopped. "I-I mean... Sirius, it's not like-she's just-" I stuttered, feeling my eyes start to tear and blinking quickly to stop the tears from forming.

"Answer the question, Artemis," Sirius growled, removing his protective arm from around me and half standing up. Even that was enough to make me feel small, like he was going to crush me if he didn't like what I said. Melanie seemed to realize that she'd won.

"Yeah, Artemis, answer the question!" she mocked with an evil smile. "See, Sirius! She doesn't love you. She never did. She was just using you, playing with your emotions!"

"N-no! That's not-"

"Shut up, Melanie!" Sirius snapped. "Artemis, answer the damn question: Did you only start dating me because Melanie told you to?"

The tears were getting harder and harder to hold back; I told myself sternly that no matter how this ended, I was not going to let the entirety of Hogwarts see me cry. "That might have been... might have been the original idea, yes, but-"

But Sirius had had enough; he clearly had no intention of letting me try to explain.

"We're done," he interrupted, pushing himself the rest of the way up and away from the table. With a glare that made me feel like part of me died, he hissed, "I don't ever want you to speak to me again." And then he stalked out of the Great Hall with his head held high, leaving me feeling very cold and very empty. Sorrow was threatening to overwhelm me, the tears now very close to falling as Remus, James, and Peter tore after him, shooting me confused looks, as if they were just seeing the real me and weren't sure what to make of it. Lily didn't seem to know whether she should comfort me or scold me, but with one look between the two of us, she seemed to decide. She reached over the table and took my hand comfortingly in one of hers, a string of words that I couldn't understand coming out of her mouth.

Sirius hadn't even let me explain, I thought dully, feeling the empty and shock start to wear off and the anger start to replace it. He'd asked his question, but he'd only heard half my answer. The knowledge that only minutes ago we had been talking about broom cupboards seemed like a precious dream, one that had quickly turned into a nightmare when Melanie entered.

Melanie. The very thought of her was enough to fill me with fury. The smug look on her face just made it worse. This was all her fault! This had all happened because of her! It had been her plan to begin with! She hadn't been able to get her happy ending with Sirius, not the way she'd pictured it. So she'd had to ruin it for me too. She'd realized that I was happy being with Sirius, and she'd reasoned (like most girls do) that if she couldn't have Sirius, no one could. This was all Melanie's fault.

The anger was building, filling every particle of my being, and common sense was being engulfed by the ire. Lily's mouth was still moving at me, her look one of fear, but that only made it worse. I could hear Voldemort laughing through our unwanted connection, and he was feeding me his own hatred and anger. As if my own weren't enough.

Screams erupted around me, and for a full minute I couldn't understand why. My mind felt so narrowed and focused, my vision was red. So I didn't really notice the hands that were trying to pull me off of the violet blob that was actually Melanie's slowly darkening face. I couldn't tell that the hands grasping her neck were my own. I didn't get why I was suddenly kneeling on the ground over her when only seconds ago I was sitting at Gryffindor table with tears threatening to pour down.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" I heard McGonagall shout, and I presume her hands joined those that were desperately attempting to remove me from Melanie. Suddenly, my fingers relaxed their grip; I was pulled back roughly as Melanie gasped for air, coughing and clutching her own neck. "Someone get Miss Jordan to the Hospital Wing! Madame Pomfrey!" The nurse tittered as she approached, silently taking Melanie by the arm and guiding her away. "As for you, Miss Gaunt, what you've done is... well, utterly repulsive! I would have expected better from you!" She cast a glance towards the teachers table, then nodded and started to lead me out of the Hall in the same manner as Melanie, albeit her grip was much tighter. As if there were a point in running. The teacher continued to lecture me, but I didn't really pay much attention to it. The rage was still tuning it all out. Still too irate to listen to her yell at me as she dragged me through corridors and up staircases. I kept seeing Sirius' face when he'd told me it was over: so shocked and hurt. I kept seeing Melanie's smug triumph. And I couldn't make the pain and the anger go away. Voldemort may still have been feeding it to me, but I knew most of it was mine.

I knew without being told that I had probably just gotten myself expelled. I'd made myself a pretty big mess, the biggest one so far. Sirius would most likely hate me for the rest of our lives, along with the rest of the Marauders. Lily would be humiliated because she was friends with a psychotic nutter who had tried to kill a fellow student; that is, if she actually chose to remain friends with me. I'd be sent back out into the world, alone, with no where to go. And it probably wouldn't take long for Voldemort to find me and kill me. I could see it all now; I'd end up alone, working some dead end job no one else would take and being hated by everyone. Maybe that was just Fate.

McGonagall seemed to be finishing up her tirade, her nostrils flaring and her mouth in the straightest line I'd ever seen. I was rather surprised to find that my eyes were completely dry, that we were standing in front of a gargoyle statue, and that Lily, James, and Remus had followed us. All three were looking extremely grim.

"Butterscotch toffee," Professor McGonagall told the gargoyle, and it leapt out of the way, revealing a hidden staircase that spiraled up and out of view. She led the way up, with me following slowly. Stopping at the door and looking back at the other three, she shook her head. "Miss Gaunt will wait for the Headmaster by herself. I don't know why you three followed to begin with." Lily opened her mouth, but whether she was going to answer the unasked question or argue was unsure. As it was, McGonagall shook her head again. "No, Miss Evans. We will wait out here. Professor Dumbledore will call when he's done with her." With not another word, she opened the door, shooed me inside, and shut it behind me.

For a moment or two, I stood at the door and stared at the wood. Waiting for Dumbledore to call me to sit. Waiting for him to yell or give me that grim, sad stare. To tell me that I'd fucked up. When the moments passed in silence, I turned slowly around.

The room was empty, with the exception of a beautiful red phoenix perched on his stand. I looked slowly around, too distracted by my anger and fear to be able to focus on the shining instruments on the tables to the sides, the portraits of past Headmasters and Headmistresses staring down at me, the view from the only window. Instead of feeling calming, these things all just seemed to be feeding my mood. With a huff, I stalked to the chair across the desk from the one that was clearly Dumbledore's and sat myself in it unceremoniously to wait.

It felt like an eternity before I heard his voice behind me. "I see you're still fuming." I didn't respond, continuing to glower viciously at the closest leg of his desk. "You may be happy to know that Ms. Jordan is perfectly fine; Madame Pomfrey fixed her up quite well, and she seems less angry about the situation than one might expect. She even insisted that she didn't want to press charges for assaulting her. She almost seems... happy." I snorted but didn't look up as Dumbledore brushed passed my chair to sit in his own. I could feel him waiting for me to respond. But I didn't know what he wanted from me: to explain why I'd lost control of myself and wound up choking out Melanie? To tell him all about how my life was crashing down around my ears? To say I was sorry, beg him not to expel me? I didn't particularly feel like doing any of those things. So instead I continued to scowl at the desk leg. The phoenix called sadly from his stand. "Artemis." Dumbledore's voice was so soft and filled with a sadness and pity that I couldn't help but look up at him now. His eyes twinkled behind his glasses. "Please, Artemis. I need you to help me help you. You've lost so much recently... and you're being strong because you don't want anyone else to see how hurt you are. And how hard it all is. But there are people around you who want nothing more than for you to be safe and happy again. Miss Evans, Mr. Potter... Mr Black."

I cringed at that and looked back down, my face flushing as I remembered why I was here in the first place. The anger and fear returned, along with the smallest bit of shame and sadness. I folded my arms across my chest tightly, as if that would keep me together somehow. Dumbledore seemed to notice my reaction; even he know how badly I'd fucked up. He sat back in his chair and looked at me thoughtfully.

"Under normal circumstances, such violence would not be tolerated and would certainly be grounds for expulsion. But... in light of recent events, I think it is perfectly understandable that you might need to, ah, take out some anger on something else." I stared back up at him in disbelief; he leaned forward and frowned at me again, as if he didn't notice my look. I wasn't going to be expelled? "Keep in mind, Miss Gaunt: this is your last straw. There are many teachers in this school who will disagree with my decision so vehemently that one toe out of line will be enough. Anything else, any rule breaking whatsoever, and I'll be forced to expel you." He leaned back into his chair again, seeming to look past me as he thought. "Now... the issue of a punishment. Detention, obviously, but that may not be enough. You did attack Miss Jordan, after all. Hmmm, well, how about detention once a week until you graduate. Suspension, I think, may be in order. Yes, that will be best, I think. Perhaps a good week or two. And of course you two will have to be separated. We'll have to move you out of Gryffindor Tower."

"Sir," I interrupted, and Dumbledore looked at me as if he were surprised that I could speak. "Sir, are you serious? I'm not... not expelled?"

"Well, Miss Jordan has kindly agree not to press charges, though personally I think that you may have Miss Evans and Mr. Lupin to thank for that. So long as it will never happen again, I see no problem allowing you to remain here."

I gaped at the man for a minute and then nodded. "It won't happen again, Professor."

Dumbledore nodded and smiled. "I should hope not. So, your punishment, then, is: detention once a week until you leave this school; a two week suspension during which I or one of your teachers will assign you a different task; and counseling with one of the staff once a week as well."

"Counseling?" I interrupted again. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at me over his knitted fingers, so I quickly shut my mouth and slumped a little in my chair.

"Counseling. Every week. I'm sure it will do you some good. I will have Professor McGonagall keep you informed of places and times. Is there anything else?"

I stared at the wizard again for a minute before I slowly shook my head. Dumbledore... was weird, but definitely cool. How the hell had I just escaped expulsion.

"Excellent. Professors McGonagall and Sprout should be fixing up your new quarters now. If you would wait outside with Miss Evans. And be a dear, send Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin in?"

I nodded and stood up, taking one last look at Dumbledore and realizing that, at that moment, there was no one I respected more.

-The new room was more like a small suite of rooms. Two full size beds with the same red canopies, a vanity to share, and a small connected bathroom with two showers and a small bath. There was a small sitting room, too, with a window looking out onto the grounds. A love seat that would seat two and a pair of cushy chairs next to a table. True to Dumbledore's word, it was not in Gryffindor Tower, though it wasn't far. I was also banned from the Gryffindor common room until further notice from McGonagall. Something that was probably for the best. I didn't want to see any of them anyways.

I gave my trunk one last shove to get it to the end of my bed. With a sigh, I turned and watched James drag Lily's trunk in after me. He seemed to be ignoring me, but I supposed that should have been expected. Lily's red head followed him in through the door.

Lily had fought valiantly to move here with me, insisting that if Melanie's accusation of cutting was true I shouldn't be left alone in my removed room. Dumbledore and McGonagall apparently found this a valid reason, so here we were. Lily's real reason, she told me while we were waiting for McGonagall and Sprout to finish up the room, was slightly more selfish (but comforting all the same): she didn't think that she could bear to be holed up in our old room with Melanie, Olivia, and Mira, especially after the day's nightmare.

James finished pushing Lily's trunk into place, gave her a kiss and passed McGonagall on the way out. I thought about asking her how she and Sprout had made up this room, or if it had already been here. But her mouth was still very straight and thin, and I had a feeling that any noise out of me would add to my detentions, so I kept silent. Lily looked around the bedroom with a pleased expression, then turned to look at McGonagall, who was explaining the rules with a very bitter tone.

"Miss Evans, you are free to come and go as you please, of course. Miss Gaunt, for the duration of your suspension, you will be secluded to this room unless you are given a duty to preform. In that case, you will be retrieved by a teacher. Miss Evans or Mr. Potter will be escorting you to and from meals, or if she cannot your meal will be brought to you. Once your suspension ends, you will be allowed to go as you please; however, Gryffindor Tower will still be off limits. You are not to speak to Miss Jordan. If she speaks to you, inform a teacher or a prefect and we will handle it. Do you have any questions, Miss Gaunt?" I hesitated, but asked anyways.

"What about Quidditch, Professor?"

Her scowl deepened, if possible. "Mr. Potter will decide if you will remain on the team or not as team captain. If you do, he will escort you to and from practice. If not... well, you will remain here."

I nodded solemnly, and told her I had no more questions. She left without another word, her mouth still in that straight line.

And then it was just me and Lily. And that anger that still dwelled within me, just waiting for the bait to let it go.

Lily was going to want to question me. There was no doubt in my mind; she would probably ask why I'd let Melanie say things like that to me, why I would let her force me into a relationship, if everything she had said were true. This was Lily, curious and just. And what I said would probably decide the future of our friendship.

Lily's mouth opened, and I realized I wasn't ready for the questioning. Fear flowed through me, terror that I was going to answer wrong and lose the one that was now, quite possibly, my only friend. Her green eyes were bright as they looked at me, watched me closely. Her mouth shut and then opened again.

"Perhaps we ought to just get some rest? It's been a long day. Maybe a nice shower too."

I gaped at her and she stared back for a minute before gasping and clapping her hands.

"Ice cream! And hot chocolate!" she said randomly. She hesitated and then shrugged. "Or alcohol! Or... I dunno, a book!"

"What about the rest of your classes?" I interjected, if only so that I could catch up with her. Were those... comfort foods? She snorted and waved me off, as if classes were of no importance to Lily Evans.

"One day won't hurt. So? Ice cream? Chocolate ice cream! How about this: you go take a nice hot bath, and I'll be back in a bit with some food. All right?" Without waiting for my answer, she turned me around and started pushing me towards the bathroom door. "Don't leave, all right, Ar?"

"I didn't plan on it," I mumbled, realizing that a bath might do me good. Especially one with bubbles. Lily nodded, as if she knew just what I was thinking.

"All right. I'll be back soon."

The bathroom door closed softly behind me. And then I was alone with just my anger.

My gaze drifted across the room: the porcelain sink, the tub laid into the floor and the shower stall next to it with its scarlet curtain, the torches on the wall. I settled on the silvered mirror directly across from the door. And I looked awful, like I had just gotten out of a fight. My eyes were red, even though I'd yet to shed any tears. My black hair was disheveled, like someone had been tugging at it, trying to pull it out, though I'd yet to do that either. My skin was paler than normal. I looked exhausted. And beneath it all, that anger raged. Mine. And Voldemort's. It was visible, almost an aura around me, trying to break through my icy eyes. It scared me.

I forced myself to take a deep breath and move to the tub, turning a couple of the spigots until I found the warm water and one with big purple bubbles that smelled like lavender. While the tub filled, I scowled at my reflection. Thinking. Fuming. Finally, I lowered myself into the warm water. Outside, I heard voices; Lily's and James'. With a sigh, I sank deeper into the water.

They were angry. The voices weren't the hushed tones of two people having a happy couple conversation. They were arguing. And probably about me. Just another thing to add to the guilt that just kept racking up. I was hurting everybody today. Everyone would probably be better off without me, I thought sadly. Sirius. Lily, James. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall wouldn't have to go to so much trouble to deal with me and all my issues.

The water was covering my mouth now, I was tilting my head backwards so that it was covering my ears too. I closed my eyes.

Professor Flitwick wouldn't have to give up time for my extra lessons, I thought dully. My parents might still be alive. And maybe Melanie wouldn't have had to destroy lives to get what she wanted.

A door slammed and for a minute there was silence.

I slipped under the water.

-James slammed the door shut behind him and stalked through the small lounge with only the slightest bit of regret. He was too angry, much too upset to handle this right now.

How could he be expected to cope with this? Artemis... she'd really fucked up. James knew that she was good at heart. He knew she tried hard to do what she knew was right, tried to rein in that awful temper of hers. She was stubborn and independent.

But had she really pretended to love Sirius this whole time? It had seemed so obvious to James; if she'd been pretending, she was an extremely good actress. But then, whoever knew with girls, especially unpredictable one's like Artemis and Lily. James thought he knew them, but really, how much did he really know?

It was too much to ask. His best friend's girlfriend? Or his girlfriend's best friend? How was he supposed to choose sides? And as to the issue that had brought up the topic with Lily and led to him storming out of the girls' room: How could he be expected to let her keep playing Quidditch? Even if he allowed it, there was no doubt in his mind that Sirius wouldn't play along. Everything that had put the two together was going to become a living nightmare from now on. Even the fact that they would probably lose the Cup because of this wasn't going to be enough to convince Sirius to cooperate. Of course, pointing this out to Lily in the way he did, with that loud and angry tone as if it were her fault, didn't help the situation either.

And now, to top it all off, Lily was mad at him. She'd kicked him out, even as he'd slammed the door.

How was he supposed to do this?


	29. Sometimes Love Sucks

((A/N: Again, I don't own Harry Potter. Welcome to chapter 28, I hope you enjoy!))

Lily sat there in the silence that followed James' exit. Feeling the regret. The guilt for putting him in a position where he might have to choose between Lily and Sirius. The anger at Artemis for putting them all in this awful place. The room was nice, but it was hardly worth the price that both of them were going to pay for it.

But it was too late for this regret now, Lily realized. She'd made her choice to stick by Artemis; the look on Artemis' face when Sirius had told her it was over and left her sitting by herself at the table felt like proof enough. Even if Melanie had been the cause of their joining, had been what brought Artemis and Sirius together, Artemis had wanted it. She'd loved him, even if she'd never admitted it to anyone. It showed in her eyes: crushing defeat. Sorrow threatening to overwhelm her. Tears ready to gather in her eyes. At least before she'd lost her head and attacked Melanie.

So Artemis made a mistake, Lily thought with a new resolution. So did everyone: they were human after all. This could be fixed. Probably.

Lily knocked on the bathroom door. "Artemis?" she called. "The ice cream is here!"

There was no response. Lily frowned and knocked harder.

"Artemis!" When there was still no response, fear blossomed in Lily's stomach. She pushed the door open and it took a moment to locate Artemis in the room.

At the bottom of the tub. Bubbles rose from her mouth and her eyes were shut. Her hands were gripping the edge, as if she were holding herself down.

Lily panicked. For a second she almost screamed, froze. And then she moved: rushing forward, she grabbed Artemis' hand, prying it from the side and pulling the girl up and out of the water. Lily wasn't even sure how she managed to drag her from the bath, collapsing next to her and breathing heavily. Artemis, however, didn't breathe for a second; and then she burst into a fit of coughing. curling up and bursting into tears. Lily pulled her close, letting Artemis fold into her, tears coming to her own eyes. They stayed like that for some time, holding each other close and crying.

Finally Artemis was quiet and still. For a second, Lily thought that she had fallen asleep like that; but then she whispered something.

"What?" Lily asked softly, looking down at Artemis' sopping black mat of hair. She suddenly realized how awkward the situation was, and yet it didn't really feel like it.

"I'm sorry..."

Lily frowned but quickly replaced that with a plastic smile that she knew Artemis would see through immediately. "It's ok. Come on, let's get some dry clothes, hm? And then we can just relax and eat ice cream." Artemis nodded, but Lily knew that she wasn't satisfied.

_Lily gazed at me expectantly over her bowl of ice cream, waiting for answers to the questions that she didn't need to bother asking. And after what had happened, it didn't feel right now, denying her anything. There was certainly no denying the fact that she had saved my life.

"I'm sorry..." I said again, putting my own bowl down on the table. It was the only thing that I could think of to say at the moment. How do you just explain away the fact that you apparently just tried to kill yourself? There wasn't really a good way. So we sat in silence for a few more minutes, with me wondering what to say. Finally, I managed, "I didn't mean to." It sounded so trivial, so stupid. But it was true. And I wanted to blame it on Voldemort: insist that his connection to me had forced me under. But maybe that wasn't entirely true. I pursed my lips. "I guess... it all just... came on me at once. Some of it was the anger... and that connection... I wasn't going to hold myself down; I was just going to go under. But then he told me to end it; that there wasn't a reason for me to come back up." Lily frowned.

"You-Know-Who?" I nodded slowly. "And what? You believed him?"

"I don't know," I muttered, looking down at my feet. "Maybe a little. I guess I just thought about all the people whose lives I'm just... fucking up right now. Thought maybe they'd be better off. So... I just didn't fight it."

A second later, Lily was standing over me and my cheek was stinging from her slap. I looked up at her in angry confusion, but she looked pretty livid herself.

"You're so stupid! How could you think that? That we'd be better off? Did you think that would make anyone happy, if you killed yourself for something stupid like that!" She huffed loudly. "Do you think I'd be ok with that? Yes, maybe you are causing troubles for people, but that's life! Maybe you hurt people with this stupid... whatever! But that doesn't mean that you can just off yourself and leave the rest of us here. We'll still be hurting, and that will just make it worse! It's selfish! And it's so stupid!"

"You and James were arguing about me," I interjected softly. She paused and her gaze softened. For a second, I thought she might deny it; but then she nodded curtly with a pout.

"Yes. James is... confused. And upset at you for completely valid reasons. And upset at me for taking your side, in a manner of speaking. That one still needs to be explained before I fully support either way, but we can talk about that one later. By taking sides, I'm forcing James to take sides too. And that makes him angry. But just because we were arguing doesn't mean that either of us wants you to die. Besides, we have to argue every once in a while. Because we're us." She tilted her head and glared at me, seating back in her chair with an angry scowl. "But I swear, if you ever just give in when he tries to get you to kill yourself again, I'll kill you."

I stared at her, picked up my ice cream again. Lily continued to glare while she ate her own. Was she really on my side? I thought, amazed. Did she have that much faith in me? Or was I just that pathetic that her feminine instinct kicked in? It was hard to say. And my reasons for everything that had happened probably would make her decision. That fear that I could lose my only friend prickled across my skin again.

I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath. Opened them and looked at Lily determinedly. Her scowl had faded, just a frown now while she waited for me to speak.

"I swore off boys," I started, putting my ice cream back on the table again. It was melting. "You remember? All most guys want from a girl is sex. Or that's how it always feels. I swore off boys, and I told her she couldn't win Sirius back." Lily looked at me quizzically, but didn't interrupt. "She couldn't. And she can't. She's not what he wants. And I told her so. She didn't take that very well. You know Jordan. She made me look like a crazy bitch for telling Lexing I didn't want to go out with him. Leading to Slughorn's party and Sirius' prank and all. You remember all that?" Lily nodded, her frown now one of focus rather than one of anger. "I don't know when it started, Lils. I don't know when I started to like him. But everything I felt this whole time was real. She blackmailed me, you know. She blackmailed me into it, but I... sometimes I think it would have happened anyways, just not in the same way. You must have noticed: it got awful in the beginning. Every slight was so... personal. But..." I hesitated, then continued anyways; there was no real use in hiding it anyways. "I kissed him. When he told me I was back on Quidditch at the beginning of the year. Before Melanie even came up with the idea. Before first Hogsmeade. Before I even knew how I felt. Maybe I was just that happy; but I kissed him. And then Melanie came up with this stupid plan. She told me she'd tell everyone every bad thing she knew about me if I didn't agree to help her with it. She wanted me to get him to fall in love with me. And then dump him. Crush him. He was supposed to be so distraught that he would come back to her." Lily was gaping at me now, so I paused and took a melty bite of ice cream.

"So Sirius was supposed to be so upset about the whole thing that he crawled back to her?" Lily repeated. I nodded. She snorted, obviously finding the entire idea as absurd as I had. "So all you had to do was play the cruel heartless bitch who played the bigger prank."

"Yeah."

"So what happened?"

"I wouldn't break up with him."

We were silent for a minute, looking at each other. "So she did the only thing she could think of to make him break up with you." It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyways.

"I was happy, Lils. I had him. And I had you and James and the other Marauders, and I was happy. And I really can't tell when it happened. When I stopped hating him and started... liking him. I mean, the physical attraction was always there. Like on the Express coming here at the beginning of the year. When he stole my shirt after Quidditch practice. When he fell asleep on top of me after the first Quidditch game. But actually liking him. Wanting to be around him. I don't know when it happened. But it did. Isn't that what matters?"

I sounded like I was trying to convince myself. But Lily nodded.

"Yes. Maybe you did start dating him because of her. But you stayed and refused to leave when she told you to. That's what counts."

I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. It felt as though I'd been absolved. Like something had been fixed. Lily deflated that bubble real quick.

"You know you're going to have to tell this to other people right? And not everyone may agree that you didn't do anything wrong. I can understand. James probably will too, but he's in an awkward position, along with the rest of the guys. Melanie's probably going to make this as hard as possible for you."

I sighed. "Yeah. I know."

"It will be okay."

I looked up at her in surprise. She sounded so absolutely positive. Her green eyes showed no sign of doubt. Certainly more than I could say for myself.

"Thank you, Lily."

"That's what friends are for," she replied with a sad smile, and scooped me more chocolate ice cream.

_Leaving the room was awful. Everyone stared at me cautiously as I walked down the corridor a few steps behind Hagrid. Clearly, anyone who had not been in the Great Hall at the time Melanie had destroyed my life had been told the story. Probably exaggerated tenfold. I wasn't sure if the stares were because of what Melanie had said about me or because of what I'd done to Melanie afterward. Fortunately, I had yet to see Melanie since then, or Sirius either. I dreaded the moment that I would; probably at lunch.

But for now, I was completely all right with spending my first day of suspension in a heavy coat and fuzzy boots, heading with Hagrid outside to take care of some business in the forest. Something about Professor Slughorn needing some particular ingredient for a potion. Hagrid seemed pretty chipper as we exited the castle; I wish that I could have felt the same way. The fresh air was nice, but I would have traded anything to make that anger and sorrow go away, to be sitting in Charms with Sirius laughing while I failed at my feeble charms.

It was a menial task that took hours. What Professor Slughorn needed was a rare mushroom that only grew about two miles into the forest; we took about half an hour to walk there, Hagrid taking wide steps over logs and icy slicks that I tripped and slipped on. And then we took about an hour to find the first one: Hagrid couldn't explain what he was looking for to me, so we didn't realize we'd found one until I'd stepped on it. And then we had to find thirty of the things: enough for one of his second year classes to use. I actually managed to stop fuming and being bitter for a while at the end; the crisp winter air and the snow crunching underfoot, coupled with the sight of the trees covered in frost and the squirrels that poked their heads from the high nests in curiosity at our noise, finally got through my hard wall. I managed a small smile as Hagrid tucked the final mushroom into the bag. And then we started back. It was almost dinner time by the time we got back.

And that was when I made my first mistake: I went to dinner with Lily. Forgetting the awkward stares. Forgetting the anger. Forgetting that all my closest friends hated me.

And it all crashed into me like I'd just run into the wall I thought I'd gotten through. From the second that I walked into the Great Hall, the stares started. As I sat down with Lily near the door, the whispers started. And even though most of the meal I distracted myself talking to Lily and taking slow, forced bites of my vegetables, when I looked up, he was there. Not near me. Nowhere close. But I could hear James' voice, Remus' laughter, and when I looked, Sirius was sitting there too, as he had to have been. He was frowning, looking as though he were thinking and not focusing on what James was saying. His hair was wet from a shower, and he was resting his head on his chin. Nodding occasionally. And not once did he glance in my direction.

I felt my face turning red, felt myself whirling into the red vortex of fury. My hand clenched on my fork, halfway to my mouth, and I forced my gaze back to Lily. She took one glance to where I'd been looking and sighed.

"Do you want to-"

"You aren't done eating yet," I interrupted. "I'm not going to make you stop eating just because I don't want to be down here anymore." My tone was so harsh that she just nodded and took another bite of her mashed potatoes. But she still pushed them away before they were gone. James' laughter was ringing in my ears. It sounded so... fake. And it probably was.

I followed Lily from the Great Hall with a scowl. "I'm-"

"Don't apologize," Lily snapped, glancing back at me with an identical look. "I get it. I really do. Anyways, James' awful attempts at happiness were pissing me off." She didn't say another word until we got back to the room. I just sighed.

"Okay. But I'm still sorry," I repeated. She huffed and shook her head at me, telling me that she was going to take a bath and not to leave.

The next day was the same. I helped Professor McGonagall sort a bunch of paperwork and then some old assignments that I swear had to be about twenty years old. The pages were brittle and when the first one tore when I handled it just slightly too rough she scolded me loudly. Lily escorted me to lunch and dinner, but that turned out the same way too: we would get there, sit down, eat about half a meal, and then I would see the Marauders trying to be cheerful. And we would leave. I got into a habit of laying on the couch while Lily was gone, staring up at the ceiling as if in a trance, frowning and letting the anger seethe. I couldn't sleep anymore either; Voldemort was in my dreams, and Sirius too, and they were both laughing at me. Telling me how I'd screwed up. How I truly was a Slytherin. How I deserved this misery.

How I deserved to be alone.

And then I started to realize: maybe I was better off alone anyways. Maybe we all would be better off alone. We would stop hurting each other that way. And if I really were the worst of them, like my probably-not-dream Voldemort kept telling me, then maybe I should just stay alone.

Three days after my suspension began, Lily entered my jail and tried to push me off the couch. I scowled at her.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" I asked her curiously. She sighed and gave me another shove.

"Quidditch practice is in twenty minutes! You need to get ready!" I stared at her for a second, unsure if this was a trick, and then slowly sat up. Seeming to read my suspicion, she frowned. "James decided to give it a chance since you guys are so close to your next match. But... don't get your hopes up too high; he didn't seem to be expecting much."

I smiled. That was more expected. And made more sense, seeing how obvious that James was upset at me as well (though definitely not nearly as much so as Sirius). "Lils, even being given the chance was more than I expected. How could I really expect much more?" I stood and went towards the bedroom, pretending not to notice Lily's look of pity.

_Sirius growled and grumbled to himself. James was standing beside him, giving him a concerned stare.

"So tell me again how you let Lily talk you into this?" Sirius said quietly, finally managing to give his anger some words. James' frown got more pronounced.

"She reminded me of the stuff that happened the last time she got banned from Quidditch. And also begged with those beautiful green eyes of hers. And made some pretty valid points. We need her to play."

"I'm not coming to practice," Sirius interrupted, shaking his shaggy head. "I won't do it. James, we already talked about what I want to do to her," he gave his best friend a very pointed look. "You can't ask me to play Quidditch alongside her."

James kept frowning, but a touch of pity could be seen in his eyes. "So it's you or her?" he asked quietly, almost as quietly as Sirius. A pang of guilt at the burden he was putting on his best friend. Sirius frowned and looked away quickly before James tried puppy-dog-eyeing him. So James just sighed instead. "Well, I guess that's the story of my life. Look, Sirius, just think about it. Think about the cup. You don't have to talk to her. You don't have to look at her. You can pretend she doesn't exist if you like; it's what you do the rest of the time anyways. All I'm asking is that you... just try to deal with her for a few hours during practice and games." James shook his head and looked at Lily's red head as she entered the portrait hole and located him in the crowd. And he strode off towards his girlfriend, leaving Sirius very much alone.

So Sirius thought; and he made a decision that he thought he could make himself live with. And so half an hour later Lily left and Sirius and James went down to the frozen Quidditch field together. They dressed in silence, with James still casting Sirius those worried looks. Finally, he spoke.

"Sirius, what are you going to do?" It was a tone full of suspicion. Sirius glared at James but James ignored that. "You're acting like you always used to, when you knew that whatever you were going to do I wasn't going to like it." Sirius didn't deny it. James' look darkened. "Look, Sirius, whatever it is you're planning, just don't..." he trailed off as if he weren't sure what he wanted to forbid Sirius from doing. Then he sighed and closed his eyes with a small grin. "Just don't hurt her too bad."

Sirius smirked at James' vindictive side. He may not show it, but James was also angry at Artemis' betrayal, albeit not nearly so much as Sirius. "James, I'm going to break her."

James either didn't hear him or didn't acknowledge him. Wordlessly, he walked from the locker room with Sirius right behind him. Gradually, the other members of the team gathered around them, clutching their broomsticks and shivering. Artemis was the last one to get there, with Lily by her side. Sirius looked away from her before she could make eye contact as the anger refilled him anew.

"All right, team, I know it's been a while since our last practice. I think we'll start out with some catch to warm up. After that, we'll bring out the other balls and go from there. It's a pretty clear day, so let's make good use of it." The team all nodded and Terry went to get the Quaffle. "Sirius, Artemis, a word?"

James led the two of them across the field, out of earshot of the other four and Lily. Sirius folded his arms and looked at James expectantly.

"All right, you two. We've got... a lot of issues going on here. Our little group has a lot of tension right now, and I'm not going to sit here and pretend like any of these can be resolved now, maybe even ever." James paused, looking between the two of them cautiously with a neutral expression. "I'm not even going to ask you two to try. What I want to know is: can you two work together right now, while we're playing Quidditch? Can we Catchers still work as a team, or is it too much to ask?" He paused, but not long enough for either to answer. "We all know we won't get the cup if we can't work together. And we won't get it if I have to replace either of you. I want this, and I know you two do too. So all I want is for you two to just deal with each other during practice and games. That's it. And if you can't, I need to know now."

This time, James actually did go silent, waiting for a response. It was a long minute. Sirius took a slow breath through his nose.

"I can deal with it. I do want it, you know. The cup. So I can deal with it... if Sirius can," Artemis said quietly. James gave her a curt nod; Sirius didn't even glance at her. He felt them both look at him expectantly. Sirius swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous about his decision.

"I... can. But I have a few conditions. I'm not going to look at her or talk to her unless I have to for the game. And I don't want her to look at me, talk around me, make a sound around me. I don't want her to exist." Sirius could almost sense her gaze drop instantly to the ground. A small gasp that sounded more like a sniffle. The shuffle of her sneakers on the snow. And then nothing. James stared at him for a second, then looked back at Artemis.

"Artemis?"

No response. At least no audible one. Sirius assumed she nodded because James nodded too. "Well then, I guess we should-"

"One more thing," Sirius interrupted, glancing at James and then looking at Artemis beside him. She was staring at her feet, her black hair pulled back into a ponytail (when had it gotten long enough to do that?) and her jacket pulled tight around her. "Artemis." Her eyes darted upward in response, the ice blue meeting his grey, and he punched her in the face.

Shock kept all of three of them still for a moment. Sirius flexed his hand; he'd hit her harder than he'd really meant to. Some of the anger had seeped through. He thought maybe he'd broken her, for real. It took all he had to stop himself from checking that she was all right. She had staggered backward and almost fallen in the snow. Her face was hidden as she brought up a hand to hold the area around her left eye, eyes returned to her feet. James gaped at the pair of them for a minute.

Finally, James jerked out of his trance. "Dammit, Sirius! Too much!" He took a step towards Artemis, but she shook her head. Her eyes were full of tears when they quickly met his and flitted back to the ground; Sirius couldn't tell if those tears were from pain or from sadness. But the soft steel that shown there reassured him. The only thing really hurt here was her pride.

Sirius looked away again as she grabbed Lily's sleeve as the redhead ran up yelling something about uncalled for. Sirius snorted; Artemis said nothing, but Lily stopped yelling.

"Lily, can you take her to the hospital wing? Artemis, move your hand."

"Can we just fucking practice?" came a small whisper, so small that Sirius hardly heard it.

"Artemis, move your hand," James repeated sternly. There was a sigh and a gasp. "Dammit, Sirius!" James repeated. "Look what you did!"

Sirius didn't. He didn't want to. He knew he would feel guilty.

"Artemis-" Lily cut off abruptly. A minute later, there was a soft whoosh as Artemis took off on her broomstick. Terry had found the Quaffle, and Artemis joined the game of catch without looking back. No longer having Artemis to badger, Lily turned on him with the Look. "Sirius!" she hissed. "I realize you're angry, and you have every right to be, but that doesn't mean that you can beat her face in!" She huffed and drew herself up. "I swear, if you touch her again, you'll be the next one suspended." Without another word, she turned and stalked off, winter cloak billowing behind her.

James watched her go, then turned to Sirius. "Dammit, Sirius!" he said for the third time, but Sirius wasn't in the mood. Mounting his broomstick, he went off to join the game too, ignoring Artemis completely.

_Madame Pomfrey tittered at me disapprovingly. It was obvious to anyone who looked at me that I'd been punched full in the face, so when she asked I just stared at her.

"Perhaps I should rephrase my question: who hit you?"

Lily opened her mouth to answer, but I silenced her with a Look. "Does it matter, Madame? Honestly, I wouldn't have even come up here if Lily hadn't made me. I don't want you to heal it."

Lily snorted and Madame Pomfrey raised an eyebrow skeptically. I sighed.

"Well, I would say that... except I think he actually might have broken bone." I paused as she nodded slowly, continuing her assessment of my face, specifically my left eye and cheekbone. "I don't want any trouble. Frankly, I can't afford any. But I... I think I just need to bear this one. Though I wouldn't complain much if you healed the worst of it."

She nodded again and pulled out her wand. "I suppose if that's what you really want dear. But it is going to bruise something awful, and probably swell too. Are you sure-"

"Yes," I replied stubbornly. With a scowl, she muttered something under her breath, and most of the pain in my eye and cheek went away. Still mumbling to herself, she went across the room to where she stored medicinal potions. I prodded the left side of my face, both pleased and dismayed to feel the pain of what was already darkening into a bruise. This was my punishment, I thought, letting my hand fall back to the bed I was sitting on. Part of the punishment. Possibly the first step to moving on.

Madame Pomfrey returned with a small jar, which she handed to a scowling Lily. "A salve for both the pain and the bruising. It will make it heal faster, at least, though it's up to her if she uses it. I can't force her." I rolled my eyes, but thankfully she didn't see. "Come back if it swells your eye shut, or if the pain is too much." I nodded and jumped of the end of the bed, following Lily out the door and down the corridor. When we were alone she turned back to me.

"You don't have to take that," she said bluntly, clearly not wanting to beat around the bush. "I know you feel bad about what's happened, and you feel like maybe this makes it better, but it won't. And you don't have to take it."

I scowled at the annoyance that sparked, and at the sorrow and sadness and fury that had filled me when I'd met Sirius' eyes. At the way that I grew short of breath for that second before he hit me. At the tears that had filled my eyes afterward. My own sadness and misery made me angry, and that just made me feel worse. It felt like I was trapped in a box of my own emotions. And Sirius probably felt pretty similar, right? Maybe he needed to see this bruise more than I needed to.

"Lily, how can there be so many reasons to do something so small and stupid?" The question threw her for a loop, and maybe I didn't know what I meant either. So I shrugged in response to my own question, and muttered, "Never mind. Shall we go eat?"

Still looking confused, Lily acquiesced.

I ate even less than usual, though; the stares were more than before, presumably due to the bruise I'd yet to actually see blossoming across my face. I was careful not to look in the direction of the Marauders; I was learning. But I still wasn't hungry. Lily frowned through her mashed potatoes.

"Does it hurt?" she asked with concern. I shook my head and she looked at me disbelievingly.

"A little," I admitted. "But it could be worse. I'm just not very hungry." Lily nodded and pushed her plate away. A pang of guilt in my stomach; Lily was still suffering for me. She and James seemed to have made up, or at least agreed to disagree on the situation. But Lily was eating about as much as me, and she couldn't be happy, having to escort me everywhere. I pursed my lips as we left, debating this problem.

Back in our room, Lily yawned and went to shower. I lay in my bed and stared at the canopy, drifting into a miserable, dream filled sleep.

The next morning, I decided against breakfast. Lily looked at me suspiciously from behind me in the mirror as I examined my now purple and black eye. It was pretty awful: the swelling around my eye was... let's suffice to say a lot. He'd hit me pretty hard. Watching me brush gently across my darkened skin, Lily's gaze softened. She left.

I didn't get tasked that day, so I spent most of the day laying either in my bed or on the couch, staring up and thinking. About Sirius, and about James and Lily. About my family, my brother. About myself. My mind was racing. When Lily came back to retrieve me for lunch, I shook my head again.

"But-"

"Go eat, Lils. I'm just not hungry." So she sighed and scowled at me, but left. Twenty minutes later, a small house elf came in with a tray of pasta, soup, and a goblet of pumpkin juice. I tried to eat it; I was sure that Lily had sent the house elf, and I would have felt bad not eating it. But my appetite was nonexistent. I managed the soup, and drank the pumpkin juice. And then showered and returned to the couch.

Dinner was the same. And Lily was starting to look unhappy with the arrangement. I insisted that I wasn't hungry, and that if she was that worried about it, she could send up another tray. But I was tired of getting stared at. And I didn't want to burden her anymore. And I didn't want to see Sirius again.

The next day was very similar, though I did spend most of the day cleaning for Filch: most of the bathrooms got scrubbed, and I scrubbed myself for about an hour afterwards. But with that exception, I didn't leave the suite, and I only managed to stomach a waffle for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch, and another bowl of soup for dinner.

Lily was quickly getting frustrated by this turn of events. After I pushed away the rest of the food on the tray at dinner, she looked grimly at me.

"I'm not hungry, Lils." She rose a skeptical eyebrow. "I'm not! I'm not trying to starve myself, I don't want to die. I'm just... not hungry."

"Yes, well, if you don't eat, you will die," she insisted, pushing the tray back at me for me to push it away again. "You have to eat!"

"I did. I had soup!"

"That's not enough. You need to eat a real meal!" I made no move to retake the food. She sighed and grimaced at me. "Are you just going to live on this couch now? You have to leave the room sometime."

"I did: I cleaned all day! Plus I think I have counseling with Slughorn tomorrow. Joy." No change in expression, so I changed tactics. "Lils, look, I know you care, all right. I'm not trying to starve, I promise. I'll try to eat more. If that will make you feel better."

"It would make me feel better if you would just come eat with me." I frowned and shook my head. "Why not?"

"I already told you, Lily: I don't want to keep being a burden on you, making you leave before you're done eating because I can't be trusted to go places by myself. And anyways, all the staring is just pissing me off, especially with this bruise."

"But it's looking better already! And anyways, you'll have to cope with it all at some point. you can't just hide up here forever. Apollo's even getting worried. He came and asked me about you today." I frowned at that. What would he do if he didn't see me for a while? He wouldn't make good on any stupid threats to Sirius, would he?

"I'll talk to him... but I... I just don't want to go down there, Lils. Can't you understand?"

After a few days of this, Lily finally gave up asking if I wanted to go eat. And then I just didn't eat at all, though the meals kept being delivered. I was hungry... but I had no appetite. I wanted to eat; but everything I was brought just didn't appeal to my body. I spent my days helping the teachers, and my nights laying on the couch wishing I could eat, could sleep. Quidditch practice was the only light in my darkness, partly because that seemed like the only time I existed. Especially to Sirius. That was the only time that he would look at me, the only time that I heard him speak. Even if he passed the Quaffle a little harder than usual and seemed to be aiming for my already bruised face.

A week of my suspension had passed, almost in a dull blur. It was Saturday, the middle of the night, and I lay on the couch like always when I was pelted with a banana. Lily scowled at me from the door, fully clothed for a night of Head Girl duties.

"Eat that!" she snapped. I grimaced at her anger and sat up to get a better look at her.

"Lily..."

"I'm going to be gone until morning, and I swear, if you haven't eaten that banana by the time I get back, I'm going to throttle you." Without another word, she turned and slammed the door shut behind her.

I took a slow breath and looked down at the yellow fruit in my lap. Then collapsed back onto the cushions. I'd eat it eventually. Probably, I told myself. If not, the window was always an option (for the banana, of course). Staring up at the ceiling, I tried to remember the last time I laughed. Or was happy. Closing my eyes, I tried to picture Sirius' smile. Tried to stop feeling horrible for ruining that.

The door opened and my eyes snapped open. "Lily? Did you forget something?" I asked, surprised. Lily rarely forgot anything.

"I doubt it," the answer came, but it certainly wasn't Lily. I closed my eyes again, almost hoping that I'd drifted off to sleep. A confrontation was the last thing I wanted right now.

James clearly didn't agree as he came around the couch and stopped next to my head, looking down at me balefully.

"You look awful."

I opened my eyes to glare at him. "Oh, why thank you, James, it's lovely to see you too. If you're looking for Lily, she just left."

James almost smirked, but ended up just tilting his head at me. Ignoring my sarcasm, he moved to the other end of the couch and nudged my feet until I pulled them up and he could sit. "Lily says you haven't been eating. Or sleeping."

I pursed my lips and scowled. "What do you care? I thought you were as mad at me as Sirius is." I let my head fall to the side so that I couldn't see him looking at me. So that he couldn't see anything revealing in my injured face. Couldn't see my hurt. "You don't have to pretend, you know. You have our cooperation during Quidditch; you don't have to deal with me outside of that. Ow!" Grumbling, I sat up and rubbed my shin where he'd punched it lightly. "What the hell was that for?"

"The 'pity-me' attitude doesn't suit you, Artemis," he rejoined quietly, sinking back into the cushy couch. I snorted and leaned away from his calculating stare. "Lily said we should talk," he said when the silence had dragged out for a few minutes.

"About what?" I asked, but I already knew. She wanted me to explain again. He didn't respond for another minute.

"You're a lot more like your family than I thought."

"I guess so," I replied, though I have to say that when James said it, it stung a whole lot more. I could imagine Sirius felt that way right now too. I couldn't stop the bitter chuckle. "I spent all these years trying to show everyone that I was different from all of them... and then I accidentally went and proved that I was like them all along. But... you have to understand, right?" I glanced at James, feeling my heart quicken as I realized just how focused he was on this conversation. "I mean, you know how it was back then. And you know how Jordan is! And..." I cut myself off, crossing my arms over my chest as if that would quiet my rapidly beating heart, wipe away the tears that were threatening to collect in my eyes. James waited expectantly for me to continued, but I was afraid to. I couldn't look at him.

Once I said it, I couldn't take it back. And that would just make everything so much harder to bear (because I was obviously doing a wonderful job so far). It would be better for everyone if I just kept that secret to myself. James seemed to realize that I couldn't continue, because he sighed loudly and looked at me critically.

"You know, Ar..." It was the nickname that drew my attention, made me look him in the eye. He trailed off for a second, looking as if he were trying to organize his words; expecting a long lecture, I settled back into the couch next to him, my arms still folded across myself protectively. Finally he drew a long breath. "Everyone always says 'I love you' when they date someone. Or when they want to date someone. Or after they get dumped. It's such a common phrase, isn't it? Tossed around so lightly, as if it really means something to them. They use it to get things from people. They use it to get a good shag. They use it as an excuse for their actions. Jokingly, in a momentary burst of passion, or to satisfy someone, or comfort someone. 'I love you,'" he said thoughtfully, staring at me thoughtfully. "But you're... different, Ar. I think I've heard you say you loved someone maybe five times in the past seven years. Your Great Aunt Diane. Your mum. Your brother. The only time that I've ever heard you use the word lightly is when you said you loved Paxley so that you could be alone with Lily. And I've never once heard you say you loved Sirius."

My heart clenched painfully in my chest, and I definitely felt like I was going to burst into tears. I sniffled a little, though my nose had yet to run and tears had yet to flow. "So... you wouldn't believe me then? If I were to say it now, you would just assume I was lying? Just throwing the word around?

To my astonishment, James shook his head. "Actually, I would. Believe you, that is. Artemis, if you can look me in the eyes, right now, say the words that I can tell are on your tongue, I'd believe you."

"W-why?" I asked, confused thoroughly.

James rolled his eyes and punched me lightly again. "I've just said, Ar: I've never heard you use the word when you didn't mean it. And anyways, you definitely look like you're about to burst out crying, and the Ar I know wouldn't cry unless she was absolutely destroyed on the inside. See also the lack of sleeping and eating."

We stared at each other in a slightly awkward silence for a minute, and then I looked down at my hands and closed my eyes. "James... I love him." Silence and black greeted the statement, and my tears, held in tightly this whole week, even while I laid on the couch and thought and let my mind race, finally started.

"Ar," James started, his tone reflecting concern, but I wasn't done talking. My eyes snapped open and I met James' hazel.

"I love him," I repeated as the tears started pouring down my cheeks. "I love him so much that it hurts that he's away! Every time I think about him, it's like someone rips out my heart and steps on it. I... I hate myself James. I hate myself for hurting him, for ruining us! Because now he hates me, and I know I can't change his mind because I gave him every reason to!" I groaned and pulled my knees to my chest, burying my tear-covered face into my arms so that James couldn't see. "How could I be so stupid?" I asked. It was more to myself than to him, finally giving voice to the thoughts that had been racing through my mind since Melanie had broken my life to pieces. "I told myself in the very beginning that I couldn't let myself fall for him. I couldn't let myself love him, because it would just make everything so much more complicated: Jordan's threats, my swearing off guys, N.E.W.T.s, everything. I told myself to hang on to the hatred that I'd always had for him. But I couldn't help it; I started feeling for him more and more, and then we started going out and before I knew it there was nothing left to hold back. It was already out there in the open, and I couldn't get it back in."

James was silent for a moment, listening to my loud sniffles. I buried my face further into my arms, cringing in surprise when he pulled me to him in a strong hug.

"Artemis," he whispered, "I need you to explain it to me. Why... why did this happen? How did this happen?"

I sniffed again, glad that my nose was running onto my own sleeve and not onto his. "Why?" I laughed, a cold laughter that didn't really sound like mine. "Because we're people? Because people get jealous?" My words were muffled by both my sleeve and James' chest. "Melanie... she blackmailed me into it. She said she would spread my 'deepest darkest secrets' if I didn't help her with her stupid plan, which I never really thought would work anyways." I paused, taking a deep breath and pulling back so that I could look at James. "I don't know what happened," I whispered. "I think I started to like him before then; I kissed him when he told me I was back on Quidditch, without even thinking about it. I think I wanted him to kiss me on the train. I was genuinely jealous of April. But it all just happened; and she wanted it to. She wanted him to fall in love with me so that I could crush him and he would fall back to her." James was frowning, his eyes not leaving mine. "But when she tried to make me dump him, I wouldn't. I couldn't. So she made it happen." I went silent, pursing my lips and wiping my eyes with sleeve.

James picked up the banana that had fallen to the ground and split it open, handing it to me. I took a small bite between my tears and sniffles. Then James leaned back and looked at me ponderously.

"I wish you hadn't given in. The first time. She would have given up, you know. And that plan was pretty stupid. Sirius will probably never be that desperate. And I wish you would have told him." I stared at him.

"T-told him?"

"Yes. You could have used that as bait, like you always used to. Or just been completely honest with him from the get-go." I glared at him.

"Would you have told Lily?" I retorted. That seemed to catch him off guard. It was a second before he answered.

"I like to think I would have. It would have taken some courage, yeah, and maybe some alcohol." He smirked at the thought. "But yes, I think I would have told her."

"You're better than me." I sniffed and took another bite of the banana, realizing that it was actually really good. "I was... afraid to break our fragile relationship in the beginning. And then I kind of... wanted to just forget about it. I wanted it not to be complicated. I just wanted to be with him," I whispered, looking at the banana sadly. James sighed and pulled me into another hug.

"I don't know what to tell you, Ar. I want to tell you it will be okay. But I can't make Sirius understand you; he has to do that himself. At the very least, I think I can forgive you. I know it doesn't really help though." He paused and glanced at the half banana. "However, eating and sleeping will also probably help you feel better. It won't really solve the problem, but it will stop you from killing yourself."

"Lily told you about that?" I asked, leaning into his shoulder.

He stiffened. Okay, obviously not. "You didn't?"

I blushed. "Er... Well, it wasn't really on purpose... Just me overwhelmed and Voldemort was in my head... and it was right after Sirius dumped me."

James flushed and opened his mouth like he was going to yell at me. And then he shut it and shook his head. "We'll talk about this later. For now, though: are you okay?" I nodded in relief. "And you're going to start eating again? And sleeping?"

I nodded. "I'll try." He sighed and pulled me into a last hug, tight against him. "I'm sorry," I whispered into his shoulder, as if it made a difference. James just sighed.

"I guess sometimes love just sucks." I just laughed and finished my banana.


End file.
